Frankly Speaking with Tyra G

Life is an ongoing process. It is not made up of one event. Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time we get hurt, we heal. After darkness there is always light- we are reminded of this every morning, but still, we can forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t.  Nothing lasts forever.

I chose this month’s theme as Chocolates after Midnight, Midnight symbolizing the rain and chocolates symbolizing the rainbows in our lives. We are looking at ourselves and how we relate and respond to life’s seasons.  

Every week this month, we are going to pause in the sitting room of our busy lives, and take our seat at the table of purpose, and promise.  We are going to share some aha moments through stories that call up both laughter and tears and that have been left in our pockets for too long. In doing so, we will reveal that nothing (no thing) that has happened in our lives, the good, the bad, and the scary has been wasted.  Most importantly we are going to walk in the truth that we were/are never alone. God blessed us with His grace which is/was sufficient. He gave us chocolate treats called family and friends.

The required dress code this month should reflect your “inner awesome”.

At the table with me, this week is a woman who is constantly dressed in her inner and her outer awesome and ready to inspire. This show is a gift if you have ever struggled or felt alone.

Be blessed.

This month’s introductory question: So, what do you want to be when you grow up? This is a question we ask children and adults. We grow up getting clues as to who we should be from significant others and multimedia images and stories. We begin in a once upon a time and have a goal of living happily ever after. Somewhere between the ages of three and ten, we seem to be drawn to the land of superheroes.

If you doubt that we all arrive in this world with gifts and as a gift, pay attention to an infant or a very young child. They arrive in this world as this kind of person rather than that, or that, or that. They do not show up as raw material to be shaped into whatever image the world might want them to take. They arrive with their own gifted form, with the shape of their own sacred soul. Biblical faith calls it the image of God in which we are all created. Thomas Merton calls it true self. Quakers call it the inner light, or “that of God” in every person. The humanist tradition calls it identity and integrity. No matter what you call it, it is a pearl of great price.”[2]

Today you will meet a man, a friend of mine actually who has spent a great deal of his life facilitating the process of discovery for himself and for those young folks for whom he has been an agent. This chapter of his story is about his tour as a chef on  VisionQuest Rehabilitation Wagon Train for troubled teens.

[1] /www.kqed.org/mindshift/24472/for-students-why-the-question-is-more-important-than-the-answer

I turn to our author and life coach, Iyanla Vansant to create our common thought space while we are together today. It was published in 2000 in her book Until Today. She begins with these questions:

Do you go the extra mile? Do you do more than what is expected? Do you expect the best? These questions pertain not only to your relationship with the world but also how you treat yourself. Do you go the extra mile when it comes to you, or do you think that the least is enough for you?

There are people who believe that struggle, servitude, and sacrifice are the best they can hope for in this life. They look for ways and reasons to be okay with the things they believe are not okay with your lives. Other people believe they must be always on the giving end. These are people who give until it hurts. In fact, they may not know how to receive. These are the people who have not learned how to go the extra mile in exploring what may be possible in their lives.

Going the extra mile means taking what you have and looking for ways to expand it--- you believe in your ability to make it happen. Going the extra mile means doing just a little more than is expected, being just a little more than is expected, having just a little more than even you expected. It means moving beyond limiting beliefs, restrictive behaviors and being willing to have more than you have right now. Going the extra mile does not mean that you have prideful ambitions. It means that you want to feel better about yourself. You want to know that you can surpass your own expectations. You want to push your mind to the limits. It can be quite a rewarding experience!

Until today, you may have been doing just enough to keep yourself alive and going. You may have been expecting just enough to keep yourself from being unhappy. Just for today, go the extra mile. Stretch your mind. Expand your vision. Elevate your expectations as far as you can imagine is possible for you.

Today devote to allowing yourself to explore the best of all possibilities for yourself.

My guest today has explored the best of all possibilities for herself and put those into action by continuing a giving legacy. Welcome Brig-Gen Sandra Gregory, USAF, Ret. to Frankly Speaking with Tyra G.

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Journalist and author Isabel Allende reminds us that

 “We don't even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward. In times of tragedy, of war, of necessity, people do amazing things. The human capacity for survival and renewal is awesome."

My goal is to provide information about, and exposure to, a diverse set of perspectives about war experiences that breed transformational leadership. We explore the impact on their family, necessary services provided, social, cultural, and political cohorts.

In this podcast, you hear about transformational leadership from an  African American man, a veteran officer from the Vietnam war. His authentic story will help us better understand war from a racial and cultural lens of the ’60s as well as how his life looks and works for him today. He is joined in studio by his wife, teammate, and friend!

Stay close!

Our October theme is All Things Considered. Four phenomenal guests are sharing the considerations and choices they made to overcome, evolve, achieve, excel in spite of, rather than because of the hand life dealt them. They will share their heroes, sheroes, lessons learned, dreams realized and dreams to be awakened.

Are people constantly dumping their negative energy on you? Do you find yourself bombarded with negative thoughts? What if with seven simple steps you could minimize their mess and maximize your happiness? Interested? Read on…

Author Anita Washington survived a homicidal alcoholic father, a neglectful mother, and an emotionally and physically abusive brother to create a life of purpose and joy.

In Family is Not Everything she shares stories you can relate to and the steps to help you finally breakthrough what is keep you stuck, so you can revise, reinvent and thrive!

Prepare to become introspective, enlightened, and encouraged.

Author Susan Taylor says,

“Loving is our strongest human need. In our effort to satisfy our deepest craving, we regularly look outside ourselves to find a person to love. Don’t you love being in love? I know I do. I’ve invested more time and energy in love relationships than I have in most other things. But a relationship with another person will never satisfy our hunger for love.

Each of us is created in and of love. God loves us. God is love in us. Each of us is the very activity of love. We have all the love we need to love everyone and everything."  

So, how can one person, a mother, engage her daughters in a ritual that causes so much physical and psychological pain?

"LENKISEM, Kenya — The first-time cutting season came around, Nice and her older sister ran away and hid all night in a tree. The second time, her sister refused to hide.

For Maasai families, the cutting ceremony is a celebration that transforms girls into women and marks daughters as eligible brides. But to 8-year-old Nice, it seemed like a threat: She’d be held down by bigger, stronger women, and her clitoris would be cut. She’d bleed, a lot. Most girls fainted. Some died."1

However, all is not lost.

Nov. 21, 2018

More than two decades ago, Congress adopted a sweeping law that outlawed female genital mutilation, an ancient practice that 200 million women and girls around the world have undergone. But a federal court considering the first legal challenge to the statute found the law unconstitutional on Tuesday, greatly diminishing the chances of it being used by federal prosecutors around the country.

A federal judge in Michigan issued the ruling.

Today, two compassionate, courageous, committed, authentic women who through their experiences will shed new light into a historically dark existence. They will help you listen beyond their words, the concepts, the pain, and into the needed solutions. They are courageous survivors and ambassadors of truth.

Welcome, Angela Peabody and F.A. Cole to Frankly Speaking.

1https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/advice/a6504/female-genital-mutilation-survivor-stories/

Did you know each generation has its own cultural influences, that dictate how they view the world?

Each week this month we are hearing, in their own voices, from both Generation Z and Millennials. Today you join three Millennial guests in our studio, Sam Rodgers, Hannah Weiers, and Ryan Wilson to discuss issues that resonate with them. One current pervasive terror, old as the oldest relationships, is the centerpiece for a frank discussion, bullying.

Shane Koyczan in his now very famous poem To This Day expresses his own experiences of being bullied as a child and the profound and lasting effects on him. He also affirms the inner strength that allows people to move beyond the names they are called.

One verse reads:

“Every school was a big top circus tent and the pecking order went from acrobats to lion tamers from clowns to carnies;

These were miles ahead of who we were we were freaks, lobster claw boys, and bearded ladies;

Oddities juggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal;

But at night while the others slept, we kept walking the tightrope it was practice and yeah some of us fell.

But I want to tell them that all of this is just debris,

leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought we used to be,

and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer, because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit.

You built a cast around your broken heart and signed it yourself.

You signed it “They were wrong”. Because maybe you didn’t belong to a group or a clique, maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything.

Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth to show and tell but never told, because how can you hold your ground if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it?

You have to believe that they were wrong! They have to be wrong... Why else would we still be here?”

You don't want to miss this.

Author Richard Kearney says in his book On Stories “Telling stories is as basic to human beings as eating. More so, in fact, for while food makes us live, stories are what make our lives worth living.”

Isak Dinesen says, “To be a person is to have a story to tell. —"

Author  David Denborough, Ph.D., writes  “Who we are and what we do are influenced by the stories that we tell ourselves…There are many different events in our lives, but only some of them get formed into the storylines of our identities. Whatever storyline we have about our lives makes a difference in who we are and how we act.”[1]

Through a story, we can pretend to be somebody else or go somewhere else, without taking on the risks or expense ourselves. We can even do the impossible, like travel through time or explore the universe. Kids play pretend from a very young age, and through various kinds of stories, we never really stop.

The stories we love to hear, read, and watch and the ones we tell ourselves, shape our lives. These stories shape how we interact with others, and even how they interact with us. They shape how we feel about ourselves and what we think we’re capable of.

Beyond just speculation about what might happen, we use stories to answer the great unanswerable questions. Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? What does it mean to be human? Am I enough? Stories bring order and meaning to the chaos and randomness of life.

BECOMING, by Michelle Obama is the perfect testimony that life is a process, not an event; a journey, not a destination. Emma Allen and Juanita Temple discuss the book from the perspective of the impact of the stories Michelle lived, heard, and told during her journey of becoming. It's a conversation that becomes a keepsake of the heart.

[1] https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-power-of-our-personal-stories/

“David has been homeless since the age of 12. He first started “couch surfing”, but by age 17 David ran out of places to visit and ended up on the streets.

Even while living on the streets, David worked hard to stay in school. A social worker eventually connected with David and let him know about the youth shelter where he currently lives.

Penny says he has been hopping trains for a few months now, but he has been for almost a year. Jimi has been traveling for the better part of two years. She took a few months to “kick it” in Los Angeles, but she says it’s good to be back traveling and in New Orleans.

Travelers are a group of homeless youth that – travel. It’s a nomadic lifestyle where they find community with others and purpose. Many were abused or neglected as children. Often thrown away by their parents, fellow travelers become their family, and drug use helps to ease the pain of childhood trauma.

It was down to 42°f last night in Winnipeg. With the wind, I am sure it felt much colder. Katie said she didn’t sleep much. She mostly walked around to stay warm. As a result of a few bad situations and flawed relationships, Katie has been living on the streets since last March.”[1]

Surprised? Don’t be.

Did you Know:

Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder in which individuals view him/herself as inadequate, unlovable, and/or incompetent. Once formed, this negative view permeates every thought, producing faulty assumptions and ongoing self-defeating behavior.

In the U.S., 25% of high school girls have been abused physically or sexually. Teen girls who are abused this way are 6 times more likely to become pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI).

33% of adolescents in America are a victim to sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional dating abuse

Over 70% of girls age 15 to 17 avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school, when they feel bad about their looks.

More than 40% of boys in middle school and high school regularly exercise with the goal of increasing muscle mass.

75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities like cutting, bullying, smoking, drinking, or disordered eating.

 What if you could positively impact and improve the quality of life of young people in the US? What would you do?

An agency called “Second Story” gets it and Jade Leedham is here to share the story. Second Story understands the many shades of brokenness in these kids! They are not quick to judge but to reach out, provide for, offer solutions, support creatively problem solve.  Most importantly, Second Story represents the reality that what has happened to these kids is not who they are.

[1] https://invisiblepeople.tv/2013/07/

Marriage and family are key structures in most societies. While the two institutions have historically been closely linked in U.S. culture, their connection is becoming more complex. The relationship between marriage and family is an interesting topic of study to sociologists.

The question of what constitutes a family is a prime area of debate in family sociology, as well as in politics and religion. Social conservatives tend to define the family in terms of structure with each family member filling a certain role (like father, mother, or child). Sociologists, on the other hand, tend to define family more in terms of the manner in which members relate to one another than on a strict configuration of status roles.

The story of the Harris family's necessary transformation reveals the power of the human spirit and one you do not want to miss. It's like reading from a human library filled with stories that look familiar at first and then, surprise!

Listen to an intergenerational showcase of love, spirit, and fun! It’s a family affair. We are going to visit the land of Script Hop 101… yes, I said script hop, not hip hop. They have a beat, together and individually.

Listen up!