Frannie and co the podcast. Women who inspire us.

I’m talking to my lovely friend Tanya aka Dr. Tanya Cotler, PhD CPsych

She is @drcotler on Instagram, a psychologist specializing in maternal wellness and infant development as well as a mother of 3 and an all-round lovely human. We met through Instagram and she has been a great support to me as well as a true friend.

This week we aren’t sharing her story but after last week’s share of Amy’s story-  where we unpacked a lot. It hit home for me the importance of storytelling and bearing witness. So with that being said, we will be talking about the power of both,  from the perspective of birth stories and this podcast. Also how scientifically the processes can benefit us.

So I guess you can say this episode is about the power of storytelling.

I loved having this conversation with Tanya and I think for anyone whatever their experience there is a lot to be gained to listening to Tanya's wise words and advice. I’ve linked below where you can get help should you be struggling with trauma, loss, motherhood and any type of mood disorder.

Happy listening. And don't forget Amy's update episode is there to download this week too!Postpartum support international

https://www.postpartum.net/

Postpartum stress centre

https://postpartumstress.com/

In Canada

Hospital programs for women struggling postpartum at

Sunnybrook https://sunnybrook.ca/content/?page=womens-mood-anxiety-clinic-repro-transition

Woman’s college https://www.womenscollegehospital.ca/care-programs/mental-health/rls/

Mt Sinai

https://www.mountsinai.on.ca/care/psych/patient-prog

Dr Cotler's contact for help with a referral for treatment to herself or other providers trained in maternal mental health and/ or infant development across the GTA

Tanyacotlerphd.com

.... continued!

We left you on a bit of a cliff hanger there! 

Here is part two of her story. 

Thank you Amy for having the courage to share your story now and also your ongoing journey. I'm sure it's not easy but you pass through the world with such grace and humour despite all the challenges your family face and continue to face. 

Happy listening!

follow along with where we left on Instagram @the.enigmom.

INTO THE WORLD PODCAST IS BACK and gracing your ears weekly.

Starting with my 3rd birth story, bringing Cub into the world. 

You may have seen part of the video but there is a little more to the story so tune in to listen. 

In a lot of ways, Cub and his birth were in part my inspiration behind starting this project. As I birthed him this also took off. I have very fond memories of recording episodes with him feeding on my lap. 

His story has taught me a lot: That no two stories are the same, that you can never know what to expect, or have it all planned out and babies themselves are much the same - so individual. I've had to learn to be a mum all over again.

Watching back his video reminded me that one experience does not define the next. So fear of the past does not help with the future or even have anything to do with it. 

There are definitely moments of this birth where I felt so empowered and proud and in awe of how the human body works and how It is possible to birth unmedicated given the right circumstances and support but there were definitely some moments of pure fear. I was terrified not to be closer to a hospital and all I wanted was something stronger than essential oils to soothe the pain. I’d of happily taken any medication in those last moments.  I may have felt calm in parts and my video (which is unedited minus 30 seconds where I couldn’t maintain my modestly- and the cord was being unwrapped) I’m not sure how I would have faired had it gone on a moment longer. 

Regardless of what happened, I am proud I got through it, as I believe we all should be no matter what. 

Much like his birth story Cub is like a whirlwind bursting into our family so quickly, bringing lots of chaos and lots of joy but making us all happier for his presence. 

FUN FACTS- 

*This birth took place unexpectedly in my spare room. In under 3.5 hrs.

*There were 9 people in this room inc Cub not that you can see them all.

*It was my student midwife's first birth outside of Venezuela. 

*We had no curtains up and I'm pretty sure our neighbours could see in.

*My son was watching paw patrol in the next room

*My friend/ birth partner didn’t think she would be able to attend as she had to work at a wedding 3 hrs after I called her. And guess what - he arrived before she had to leave. 

*I didn’t remember any of the videos until I watched it the next day.

Happy listening, look out for this week's giveaway too, make sure you subscribe so you don't miss out.

Nikki’s story- bringing Gabrielle into the world. 

Nikki is many things but for the context of this podcast infertility and IVF warrior, mother and Pilates instructor and founder of @bellemethod.  

I started following Nikki for my love of Pilates and her very informative and practical Instagram content. I love her videos and although I’m yet to get to one of her classes, I have used her videos regularly to help with my core and pelvic floor. 

I continue to follow Nikki for her openness and I’m drawn to her as a person. It’s so refreshing to hear someone speak so honestly about their journey in such a beautiful way. It was a real pleasure talking to Nikki and I’m honoured to share her story. She has faced a lot of challenges with such grace and yet helping women is at the forefront of everything she does. 

Swipe right for a video of just after she gave birth a real testament to her openness. I feel honoured to share such a beautiful moment and I couldn't stop crying as I watched!

This is what Nikki had to say- 

“ They told me I was high risk. This was a geriatric pregnancy. I was 36. We did IVF. I have a heart condition. We had miscarriage earlier. The midwives would not take me. 

I was told I would need an epidural because of my SVT heart condition. The medical messages I got were that my body was somehow faulty. 

BUT, instead of accepting that, it fuelled the fire in my belly. I refused to believe that my body was broken.   My body is NOT a lemon, I said to myself. I’ll show you. 

Tell a woman she can’t do something enough times, and she’ll either start to believe it OR rebel. My birth was my ultimate act of rebellion. 

My birth healed my heart and my soul, literally. 

I was at a higher risk level 3. hospital. And I’ll always remember when my OB said to me during the final pushing stages of labor, well this could have been a home birth. "

Thanks again Nikki!

Love Frannie 

Sally’s story bringing Lyra and Rory into the world.  

Sally is a dear school friend of mine. It was great to chat with her, hear her story and catch up. 

We talking about how her birth experiences have lead her to her passion- Hypnobirthing.

You might imagine that she had two perfect 'Hypno-births' to be so passionate but actually, the stress  of her first birth is actually what lead her to give hypobirthing a go, educate herself and search for a better outcome, uncovering a new passion along the way.

You can tell by how she talks just how excited she is about all things birth. This was recorded a while back and since recording, she has started her company @feelgoodbirth for the UK based listeners you should check her out. She offers everything from taster classes to one on one classes as well as online options. She teaches the @theyesmumbirthproject syllabus. 

Sally is such a fun and warm person to chat to and has such a positive, yet realistic approach to birth and feels that at the heart of everything is the right support and the right to choose what’s best for you and your family. I really couldn’t agree more with her philosophy. The process and mindset can do nothing but good. It undoubtedly helped me a lot, even when I was induced and my birth plan went out the window.

Thanks for sharing your story and your passion with us Sally and I wish you all the best in your venture. I have every faith it will be a huge success. I'm still laughing about your funny motherhood moment. I mean I'm sure loads of people have taken their kids to a posh garden centre wrapped in a towel in winter. You'll have to listen to get the full scoop on that one. 

Here is what sally had to say...

After a “textbook” but stressful labour and birth of my daughter, and an anxiety-filled second pregnancy, someone recommended I try hypnobirthing. I was skeptical but desperate. Bring on the woo-woo. 

But… Instead of the woo-woo, and much to the relief of both me and my even more skeptical husband, we had a wonderful experience during the classes, which were practical and science-based. We were brought closer together practicing the techniques we learned in preparation for labour and this all led to the most incredible birth of our son. 

For me, it was even more life changing - I finally knew what I wanted to do when I grow up! I want to shout from the rooftops how much of an impact hypnobirthing makes; how some very simple tools can be astonishingly effective; how astounding a woman’s body is during pregnancy, labour and birth; and how what a women learns through hypnobirthing can take can take her from a place of fear to fearless, to embracing birth as being one of the most empowering experiences, which they will remember and cherish forever.

The moment you hold your baby for the first time is the glorious destination. Hypnobirthing can ensure the journey is equally magical. Whether you’re expecting your first or your tenth baby; if you’re planning a home-birth or choosing to have a caesarean; you want a drug-free birth or want to take anything they can give you; hypnobirthing gives you the tools and knowledge to ensure your baby’s arrival is everything you could hope for, creating memories that will forever fill you with joy.

You can find Sally at the following 

https://thefeelgoodbirthco.com

or on Instagram @feelgoodbirthco

Happy listening

Amanda's story, bringing Winnie and Norah into the world. ( and a hell of a lot of sleep chat)

This week I am talking to Amanda. As you all know she helped me sleep train Cub the second time around. 

She has gone from being online friends to an IRL friend. In fact, it’s our first in-person meet recording this podcast. We talk about her bringing her two daughters into the world and how she went from being a teacher to a full-time sleep consultant. How she suffered from anxiety and how that showed up for her as a mother. 

We talked a lot about sleep.

I want to start by saying this episode is not here to force you to sleep train. Or to make you feel bad about how much of little sleep you are getting. There is no judgment in this space and we both come from a place off knowing its not right for everyone or the time for everyone. We just hope whatever you are doing, you are getting enough and feeling good. 

We are both passionate about how sleep has changed our lives and also the importance of taking fear and shame out of the conversation. So we try to squash any myths with facts. 

I can't even express how much @babysbestsleep has saved me from the depths of despair, but she did. I was a true skeptic.  Until I had Cub I had no need to sleep train, but everything changed and I just couldn't cope, put simply nothing else worked.  I hope you enjoy Amanda’s story and that you find it informative. I also hope the facts and our experiences provide some comfort, if you need it.

As you can hear for yourself Amanda is so passionate about helping people. She is straight-talking, funny, kind and REALLY knows her stuff. Thank you again Amanda for making the impossible, possible. For easing my anxious mind and giving my cranky, sleepless baby a new lease of life and a hell of a lot more sleep. Not to mention how incredibly different I feel. I couldn't do this podcast and all that does long with it, on no sleep.

Oh, and we talk about the @profemilyoster books, "expecting better " and ‘crib sheet’ for those interested in reading you can buy  both on amazon. 

Find Amanda on Insta @babysbestsleep

And check out her podcast ’Slumber Party” with Amanda Jewson on iTunes. 

https://babysbestsleep.com/ for all your sleep consultancy needs.

Happy listening and sleeping!

Julia’s story, bringing Lucia, Fiama and Into the world 

I met Julia through the wonderful instagram community that is instagram. I love nothing more than connecting with people on this platform, so it was a real honour that so many if you applied to participate and that I finally got to meet someone in person. 

This is the first in person chat I had so bear with us fumbling on technology. 

Julia is the kid of warm person you meet once and feel like you have known for a life time after just an hr or two. It’s no surprise to me that she has 3 kids as she feels so kind and maternal to be around, I left her presence just wanting to give her a big hug which I think we did. 

We talk about what its like to have 3 kids. She really sold the good parts to me and I was left with her comments about letting this go on the days that seem a real challenge. Something I really struggle with and I am sure everyone can relate to. We also talk about how having gestational diabetes affected her journey and how that made her feel as someone who describes herself as over weight. 

She has some great insight, really uplifting birth stories and great connections to her kids names that really made me think about the connection of my own kids names to their stories and personalities. 

Thanks Julia for your honesty, warmth and kindness. I hope to see you again soon. 

Rosanna's story. 

This week I’m talking to my lovely friend Rosanna coincidently I met her through @momstoronto events on my last mat leave. (The founder, Alana shared her story last week) 

Rosanna is so calming and zen to be around that it’s no surprise she is a yoga teacher among other things. 

Although our stories are very different there is a lot about her story that I relate to. 

Having said that, becoming a single mom at 24 is beyond my comprehension. Rosanna your calm resilience is amazing and your kids are such a credit to you. Both you and Brandon have raised them so well. 

In this episode take about body image, how we both workout for the sake of our mental health. We also talk about how we think PPD is on a scale that we all sit somewhere on. We cover a range of topics and Rosanna tells us how she overcame PPD with her first and how Brooke shields book ‘along came a spider' really touched, how a good friend saved her live and most importantly what it’s like to raise multiracial boys.

I hope you enjoy her episode. She has the best answer yet to the question- "What would you do with your dream day, kid-free?" I'll let you guys listen to find out more.

Thanks for sharing Rosanna, so happy we met!

Love Frannie

Alana’s story- bringing Elias and Essa Franki Sunshine into the world. 

If you aren’t already following Alana @momsto and her amazing podcast @momsthatsay on IG- Well, you should be. 

I met Alana on my first mat leave at one of her incredible events designed to show Moms a good time. She is the CEO  Momsto and she is most certainly revolutionizing maternity leave. 

As someone who moved here knowing no one. I found the motherhood journey rather lonely. She really turned it around for me. I met and made a lot of new friends at her events and most of all reconnected with myself doing the sorts of things I loved to do pre-kids like eating at nice/ quirky restaurants. 

Both our kids were born just days and weeks apart so I’ve really been watching Alana’s motherhood journey unfold alongside my own. 

She is a force to be reckoned with. I’m sure we will look back in years to come and she will have taken over the world or be in the Forbes magazine. She is certainly using her “mat leave” (if you can call it that as I’m pretty sure she doesn’t sit still for a second) to kick start her passion project which is growing by the day. 

Even as we recorded she doubled up by having her hair cut (kinda ironic while talking to me- a hair stylist) there is never a second where this women in not on the go. 

I loved hearing Alana’s story, she had two home births and is a real advocate for pushing for what you want from your birth, even when your own family isn’t sure about your choices. To hear more of Alana’s hilarious stories, anecdotes and what she is doing for moms everywhere - click the link in my bio and my stories to swipe up. Honestly you'll be in stitches.

Thank you for sharing your story Alana and for all that you have done for the community of Mom’s on mat leave in Toronto and beyond!

While you are here, download her podcast too- http://momsthatsay.com/

Oh, and she is being nominated for a High five grant   to support her and vote click the link https://momsto.com/2019/07/were-nominated/

Happy listening, people. 

Love Frannie