Free and Figuring It Out

Charelle and Verity recently read an article called “Being a boss has nothing to do with having a vagina” and in particular it’s attack on the term #girlboss

A millennial term, it has gone from empowering to degrading and we discuss if it still has a place in 2019. As two marketeers we discuss its place as a niche, and the identity it has carried since its birth (hello rose gold!).

#girlboss now has a cult following but many female business owners are questioning it for two reasons. One, because it refers to girl, not woman. Two, because there is not an alternative for men - they are just a boss!

Does girl make you feel more youthful? Is it right to have women only business events? Do we need to change the spelling of femxle and wimmin to own our language again? 

We chat about the difference between women and men when it comes to business and where are all the career men (aka that phrase is not needed!)? Generation Z aren’t big on gender but are we becoming too neutral and losing community spirit?

Trending #boybabe

Enjoy!

** This episode is sponsored by PropelHer's Book Club. PropelHer’s Book Club is a monthly book club for ambitious women who are committed to reading to support their personal development and professional success. You can find out more and book a ticket at www.propelher.co.uk/bookclub/ **

Resources mentioned in this episode

Article https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/why-the-phrase-girl-boss-needs-to-be-cancelled_uk_5dc3eabee4b0d8eb3c902012

Nasty Gal https://www.nastygal.com/gb/

Book #girlboss https://www.amazon.co.uk/Girlboss-Sophia-Amoruso/dp/0241217938/ref=nodl_

Girl vs woman https://youtu.be/qHH3lhYwqcY

Sheryl Sandberg TED talk https://youtu.be/18uDutylDa4

Katy Prince post https://www.instagram.com/p/B3zNH9lHt7q/?igshid=6invxxovlabt ____

Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

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Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/ 

Emma Watson recently did an interview with British Vogue and was questioned about turning 30 in 2020. This raised a conversation around the milestone expectations of a 30 year old woman including having found a husband *sigh*.

Charelle and Verity decide to discuss her stance on being single in her late-twenties and if there is genuine space for a description like this in 2019. We discuss how single isn’t really a status of choice, how it can be quite an archaic and negative description and how Emma’s term portrays that she is owning being on her own.

Verity reflects on her single days and how she felt using the term ‘single’ and Charelle talks about how she deals with people asking her about her relationship status. Emma has become a really strong and authoritative figure - in many areas including her work with the UN - which simply adds to the authenticity of this conversation.

Do you feel like the clock is ticking? Do you believe what is meant for you will not pass you by? Do you think Facebook should include ‘self-partnered’ as an option?

Tune in to hear our discussion

Emma Watson in British Vogue https://www.vogue.co.uk/news/article/emma-watson-on-fame-activism-little-women

Other related episodes:

Episode 31 - How to manifest your life partner https://freeandfiguringitout.com/blog/how-to-manifest-your-life-partner/

Episode 27 - Being single; can you get TOO good at it? https://freeandfiguringitout.com/blog/being-single-can-you-get-too-good

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Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/ 

On this episode, we discuss the stereotypes of introverts and extroverts plus the rise of the ambivert label. Verity discovers what an ambivert actually is (thanks Charelle!) and we discuss the definitions of each.

We chat personality tests (tune in to hear our Myers Briggs results!) and how Charelle has always been the same but Verity’s has changed over the years. Do you know your own 4 letters? The link to take the text is below!

Do you believe all good leaders are extroverts? Are our assumptions of people’s personalities harmful if they are miscalculated? Where do you regain your energy from?

Verity talks about how she wants company, but on her own terms, whilst Charelle highlights the shift of those in the spotlight, the permission to change who we are and how knowing your personality can help you in the workplace.

We talk networking, boundaries and questioning our own stereotype.

Take the Myers Briggs test - https://www.16personalities.com

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Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/ 

Could you give up your mobile for 30 days?

In this episode, we explore digital minimalism, social media breaks and conscious use of your phone.

Charelle recently read a book with the same title whilst Verity recently did a 10-day break from all social apps.

We discuss why 30 days is what you need to have a true break and start to introduce what you truly need back into your life.

Does the free element of the digital world mean we download download download without truly thinking about it?

Do we need 10gb of data a month or do we just use it because it’s there?

Have you tried a digital detox before?

Charelle talks about her Christmas phone break and how we just lose ourselves in click bait.

Verity talks about her week without WiFi and all the surprising wonderful things it taught her.

Notifications are basically a tool to help us get addicted; have you switched them off your phone yet? Do you set time limits for social media? When was your latest app refresh?

What is your version of a digital detox? We would love to hear!

“You need to cherish those moments of nothingness”

Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport - https://amzn.to/2Nn3WJK

This episode is sponsored by Audible. Audible is the world’s largest seller of audiobooks. With hundreds of thousands of books to choose from there is something for everyone. Start your 30 day free trial - https://amzn.to/34hpM8p

Thank you to Penguin Random House UK for sending Charelle a free copy of Digital Minimalism 

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Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/ 

This week the hosts are inspired by a few articles they have recently read on millennial burnout, delve into the subject and discuss.

We discuss the stereotype of millennials being lazy, the fact that most of us graduated around the time of the recession and the highlight reel of people’s careers.

We look at the reasons why millennial burnout occurs which includes having unrealistic career expectations, the blurring of work life boundaries and being constantly connected.

Verity talks about her recent break from social media and the effects it had on her, how burnout recently creeped up on her without realising and her struggle with balancing all aspects of her life.

Charelle raises the issue of day to day admin and how it can feel overwhelming to squeeze these in around a 40 hour+ working week and having to constantly Google all the little adulting things we come across each day.

Do you have a to do list that is impossible to achieve? Do you think you could be a better daughter/ friend/ girlfriend and feel guilt? Do you struggle to balance and are a hot mess?

We discuss how trying to keep everyone happy and fit everything in can lead to millennial burnout. What are you worrying about now that will not matter in one years time? Sit down with a pen and paper and start to map out what life needs to look like in the present to prevent burnout.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

How it feels to have millennial burnout - https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/c384d54a-0116-437f-83e8-ddbca65b6c06

How Millennials became the burnout generation - https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work 

Why Instagram’s “career porn” is the fast track to burnout https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/instagrams-career-porn-is-the-fast-track-to-burnout?amp 

Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/ 

This week, our meat-free hosts chat all things on your plate!

Charelle is a seasoned veggie (technically pescetarian) - having not eaten meat since she was 13 - whilst Verity has been a dabbler up until this year when she went full-time vegetarian. They discuss the evolution of plant-based diets, the options in restaurants and what meat they crave on occasion!

They discuss how around the world, some cuisines are simply made for non-meat diets. Hello India, bye-bye Italy and Germany! Verity expresses how she feels very limited by menu choices most of the time when she eats out and asks if she allowed to be triggered or if she should just think about the planet.

Charelle has had to deal with stereotypical comments being a pescatarian for a few decades and talks about how the rise in veganism has affected the use of real cheese!

Should vegans only go to vegan restaurants? Will there be a day where menus will be 50% meat/ fish choices and 50% vegetarian? Can you date someone who has a different food lifestyle to you?

Verity is now dating a plant-based chef and talks about her decision to go a part-time vegan 6 months ago whilst Charelle sometimes hesitates to mention her preferences on dates in fear of a negative reaction.

The hosts would love to know what your preferred diet is so hit us up, let us know and share your recommendations!

The Gate Restaurants - https://thegaterestaurants.com/

Before the flood documentary https://www.beforetheflood.com/ 

Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/ 

It is Black History month here in the UK so we have decided to have a very honest discussion around white privilege. Recently the comedian, Chelsea Handler, released a documentary on Netflix entitled “Hello, Privilege, It’s Me, Chelsea” and after both watching it we decided that this would be a great foundation for this conversation.

For context for this episode, Charelle is a mixed-race (African, Caribbean and English) woman and Verity is a white woman. We sometimes may trip up on our words, use language that is not politically correct and give opinions you do not agree with. We ask you to listen with an open mind and an understanding and reach out to us if you want to correct us or educate us; we welcome it.

We start discussing one of the key ideas that came out of the documentary; that it is not up to black people to help white people deal with their privilege. 

We move into the meaning of privilege - discussing both class and race - and the misconception of it. Chelsea discusses her teen years of dating a black guy and scrapes with the law and the inequality that was so prominent then, but she has only just realised. We talk about how we produce visual content for the podcast and the difficulty of balancing representation due to the imbalance in stock imagery out there (small but big thing).

Does white privilege exist? Do you believe in positive discrimination? Do we all just want an easy life and would our opinions change if we were born into a different race?

Verity opens up about the fact she was oblivious to white privilege up until a few years ago and wonders how we educate future generations to raise awareness of this topic. She talks about her time in India and the guilt she felt for being treated so well; most of the time because she was white.

Charelle discusses how it feels to be the only white person in the room for much of her life and career and her own experiences of choosing what ethnic group to choose when filling in forms.

We close by asking that you start having these conversations - about white privilege -  with everyone, not just black people and not just white people, but everyone. Let’s talk about white privilege.

Hello, Privilege, It’s Me, Chelsea - https://www.netflix.com/title/80244973

Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/

These summer babies chat about what they love - and really do not like - about the next season of 2019. We chat all things cuffing season for the single ladies out there and the increase in indoor activities! From dating in the cold to Christmas without a plus one, we try to figure out the advantages of this 6 month period of a single woman’s life.

We talk about the lack of FOMO in the colder seasons and the increased motivation to do the inside stuff whether this is hardcore life admin or Saturday night films on the sofa. Gentle seasons, maroon jumpers and transitioning to tights; a short but sweet episode to ease you in to the slightly chillier season of Autumn.

Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/

Let’s talk about the mindset side of money!!!

Money Mindset is a favourite topic of the hosts and in this episode, they talk about all the beliefs around money and how this affects your external world.

Money is slowly becoming less stigmatised and more and more people are talking about it. Charelle comes out of the extreme woo woo closet and talks about a book she has read that was basically written by a spirit (listen to find out exactly what we mean!) and shares some of the exercises she did to help advance her mindset.

The hosts both come from a lack mindset past (hello programming in childhood) but one went on to be a saver, the other a spender. Verity goes into the practical side of getting to know your belief system and her journey with reprogramming her own mind, and how far she still has to go!

What messages were you surrounded by when you were younger? Have you ever questioned your relationship with money? Do you have a millionaire mindset?

Charelle goes into detail about the tools that she uses including affirmations and fake cheques to herself (google Jim Carrey cheque) whilst Verity recently read a book that totally transformed her money mindset, and threw everything she had learnt on its head. We ask the question “What is the worst that can happen if you bring in some woo woo when it comes to money?”. In short, the answer is, nothing, and we are here to guide you on that!

“We must question our beliefs, especially around money, and ask if they serve us anymore.”

Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ask-Given-Learning-Manifest-Attraction/dp/1401904599/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2?keywords=ask+and+it+is+givengiven&qid=1568811619&sr=8-2-fkmr0

Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch https://www.amazon.co.uk/Conversations-God-Book-Uncommon-Dialogue/dp/0340693258/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3DJ72K8X39HXJ&keywords=conversations+with+god&qid=1568812017&sprefix=conversa%2Caps%2C211&sr=8-1

Get Rich Lucky B*tch by Denise Duffield-Thomas https://www.amazon.co.uk/Get-Rich-Lucky-Bitch-First-Class/dp/1788171330/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=get+rich+lucky+b&qid=1568811996&sr=8-1

You Are A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Are-Badass-Making-Money-ebook/dp/B01INGSWY8/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=jen+sincero&qid=1568811910&sr=8-2

Unleash Your Inner Money Babe by Kathrin Zenkina aka Manifestation Babe https://www.amazon.co.uk/Unleash-Your-Inner-Money-Babe/dp/1545516545/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=manifestation+babe&qid=1568812040&sr=8-1

James Wedmore https://www.jameswedmoretraining.com/

Dollars Flow to Me Easily by Richard Dotts https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dollars-Flow-Easily-Richard-Dotts/dp/1532736231/ref=sr_1_1?crid=KN4CW2XVIZE5&keywords=dollars+flow+to+me+easily&qid=1568812140&sprefix=dollars+flow+to+me%2Caps%2C142&sr=8-1

Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/ 

What is freedom and what does it mean to you?

We look at the dictionary definitions (which are very convoluted and confusing!) and like with our episode on success (#041) decide that it’s an area of life that truly needs to be defined by each individual.

Verity delves into this topic as she has been trying to understand her relationship with freedom and how it has evolved in a way she never expected. 

Do you want freedom of time? Location? Money? Mind?

Do we need to make sure that what looks like freedom on the outside actually feels like freedom on the inside?

Charelle has a full time role alongside freelancing on the side and talks about how that gives her freedom that isn’t the laptop lifestyle most entrepreneurs opt for. She wonders if because she can be truly herself in that role if this is the secret to not feeling like she is in a straightjacket like some 9-5ers discuss.

Verity opens up about her rebellious core and how she isn’t the best at being told what to do! Her idealistic, follow her heart attitude led her to leave her top job in London and end up in a call centre back in her hometown which heightened her crave for time freedom when she wasn’t even allowed breaks and had to time going to the toilet!

The hosts complete the episode by talking about the different levels of freedom and that technically, we will never be absolutely free; unless we become the Queen! Seen as there are no Princes left to marry, that is very unlikely...

“It is important to understand what your own definition of freedom is and allow it to evolve as you do”

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Have some feedback, a question you would like us to answer or a topic suggestion?

Drop us an email at [email protected]

Follow us https://www.instagram.com/freeandfiguringitout/ 

Your hosts are...

Charelle Griffith, 31, is a marketing strategist for solopreneurs and founder of PropelHer, a personal development blog and book club. She lives in London, dates men and has been single for 4 years (except for a summer romance in 2018). Connect with Charelle https://www.instagram.com/charellegriffith/ 

Verity Brown, 33, helps female entrepreneurs reconnect with themselves and find happiness and currently lives in the North of England. She is bisexual and after 3.5 years single has recently found love with a woman. Connect with Verity https://www.instagram.com/theseasaltplan/