Free & Open Mind

She overcame societal expectations by becoming pregnant before marriage, challenged a surgeon who claimed women could not be both doctors and mothers, and established the first inclusive program for deaf students in a New York public school—all before publishing her first book. This week, hosts Hardy Brooklyn and Stan Nelson interview educator and author Rosemary Olender, whose new book, Coffee and Wisdom, distills five decades of parenting experience into one guiding ritual: being present each evening with a cup of coffee and a thoughtful question.

Rosemary shares the story her father told her the night before he passed—a story that became the inspiration for her book—and explains her “three pillars of intentional parenting”: observe, listen actively, and model. No expensive programs. No additional hours. Just presence.

Takeaways:

1. Connection requires intention more than time—five minutes of genuine conversation before the school bus surpasses an hour of distracted togetherness.
2. Children do not become who you instruct them to be; they become who they observe you to be.

Call to Action:

Watch or listen on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts, and share a comment about your own “coffee table” moment—a question a parent asked you, or one you ask your children, that made a meaningful impact. We value every comment and appreciate hearing your stories. If this episode resonates with you, consider exploring our back catalog for more thoughtful conversations on authentic living, building resilience in children, and remaining true to yourself in a challenging world.

Connect and learn more:

• Find Rosemary Olender:
• Calendar link: https://www.companyflix.com/economy/rosemary-olender
• 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/rosemary-olender-227660356/
• Website: www.rosemaryolender.com
• Email: [email protected]
• Freebie: Family Reflection Insight Questionnaire 

• Find Hardy Brooklyn at  https://boxofrain.com and http://freeandopenmind.com
• Connect with Stan Nelson at https://coachingwithstan.com.au
• Podcast Linktree: https://linktr.ee/freeandopenmind

If this episode hits home, follow Free & Open Mind on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, leave a review, and share this with one friend who’s tired of pretending.

In this episode of Free & Open Mind, Hardy Brooklyn and Stan Nelson sit down with C.J. Scarlett – “The Badass Grandma”: survivor, advocate, Marine Corps vet, and creator of the Heroic Kids Safety Game.

She shares how she:

• Turned childhood sexual abuse, PTSD, and autoimmune illness into a mission to protect kids
• Built a statewide victim notification system that became a national model
• Uses acts of kindness, boundaries, and authentic self-love to live on her own terms—and teach kids to do the same

Perfect for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone healing from trauma who wants real, authentic tools—not toxic positivity.

3 Key Takeaways you will walk away with:   

Authentic boundaries beat people-pleasing: “Nice girl syndrome” keeps kids and adults unsafe; clear, authentic no’s are an act of kindness.   

Kids can be taught to protect their authentic selves: With practice, they can trust their gut, speak up, and tell safe adults.   

Authentic Healing is active: small, daily acts of kindness and genuine, authentic self-love can shift a victim mentality into purpose.

Contact:

• C.J. / Heroic Kids & resources: ⁠thebadassgrandma.com⁠
• Find Hardy Brooklyn at  ⁠https://boxofrain.com⁠ and ⁠https://hardybrooklyn.com⁠
• Connect with Stan Nelson at ⁠https://coachingwithstan.com.au⁠
• Podcast website: ⁠FreeAndOpenMind.com⁠

🎧 Listen now, then do one act of kindness today. That's the whole assignment.

Ever taught everyone else to be “free and open” while secretly running your own life like a locked-down server room?
In this solo(ish) origin episode, Hardy Brooklyn (aka Leonard Shostak) and co-host Stan Nelson pull back the curtain on how a geeky love of free and open-source software evolved into a life philosophy — and ultimately, the Free & Open Mind podcast.

Hardy shares how he once lived as two separate people—the buttoned‑up consultant “Leonard” and the wild creative “Hardy”—and what happened when those worlds violently collided (hint: Times Square body paint and a lost client are involved). That breakdown became the breakthrough that pushed him toward authenticity, coaching, and teaching others to drop their masks.

Along the way, they unpack the three masks many of us wear—the Performer, the Peacekeeper, and the Minimizer—and how trading those roles for a more honest, “free and open” way of being led to less stress, better clients, and a more aligned life.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “open” in theory but closed in practice, this one’s going to hit home.

• Free & Open Mind started in tech, not therapy
  How "Leonard’s" years pushing free and open-source software became the metaphor for opening up his own life.

• Two identities = one exhausted human
  The cost of living as Hardy in one world and Leonard in another, and the moment those identities collided in public.

• The three masks we all know too well

  • Performer – Reads the room and gives people what they want, at the expense of self.
  • Peacekeeper – Avoids conflict, even when it causes self-harm.
  • Minimizer – Shrinks, disappears, and pretends their needs don’t matter.

• Authenticity as a stress-reduction tool
  Why being honest about who you are, what you value, and who you want around you dramatically lowers stress.

• Coaching as “open source for humans”
  How Hardy moved from consultant to coach, blended his sales and communication training, and now openly shares tools instead of guarding them.

• You don’t have to be “full Hardy”
  Clients (and listeners) don’t need to copy Leonard; they can find their own mix of authenticity that still feels safe and real.

• Openness means you might send your client elsewhere—and that’s okay
  Leonard’s shift from fearing client loss to recommending free coaching spaces and trusting his value.

• Your stories are your source code
  The “I’m bad at math / money / decisions” scripts you picked up are just old stories you can rewrite.

• Life is a choice. No choice is also a choice.
  Stan’s reminder: if you want a better life, you have to choose it first, then do the work to back that choice.

• Weekly experiment for listeners
  Notice one belief, habit, or story you picked up from someone else that quietly runs your life.

  • Write it down
  • Ask: “Is this actually mine?”
  • Decide if you want to keep it or refactor it

  
  

• Find Hardy Brooklyn at  https://boxofrain.com and @hardybrooklyn.nyc
• Connect with Stan Nelson at https://coachingwithstan.com.au
• Podcast website: FreeAndOpenMind.com

If this episode hits home, follow Free & Open Mind on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, leave a review, and share this with one friend who’s ready to start living authentically.

What would you actually risk to be true to yourself?

Drop out of school to be a rapper?

Walk away from a comfy corporate job?

Tell a TV director, “Dude, I don’t even know how to light this cigarette”?

In this episode of Free & Open Mind, Hardy and Stan sit down with Yaron (Ron) Urbas —rapper, finance guy, software engineer, actor, and founder of Yummy Media Agency—aka a one-man witness protection program for careers.

Ron gets brutally honest about what it really costs to live authentically when your path looks nothing like the brochure.

• Reinvention on hard mode – from walking dogs and hostile rap crowds to Wall Street, tech, TV sets, and running a marketing agency
• When being real gets you in trouble – pushing back on directors, arguing with clients, and saying “no” when “yes” would be safer
• Fear as the real enemy – why almost every stuck place is just fear of the unknown (and how to shrink it without pretending you’re not scared)
• Energy after 40, 50, 60+ – how passion, not age, decides your fuel tank (plus what to do when your body votes “nope”)
• Authenticity without career suicide – how to be yourself at work and at home without nuking every relationship
• Turning losses into leverage – including how a painful day-trading loss now pushes Ron to bet bigger on what actually matters

• A simple reframe to “do it scared” instead of waiting to feel ready
• Permission to stop believing in the “one big opportunity” myth
• Practical ways to show more of your real self at work, online, and in your closest relationships
• A reminder that in 100 years, no one will remember that one awkward moment, so you might as well dance

If you’ve ever thought, “I’m too old/too late/too off-track to start over,” this episode is your loving slap in the face.
If this hit a nerve (or your imposter syndrome is sweating), follow/subscribe, rate the show, and share this with one friend who’s stuck playing it safe. Ask each other: “What would I do if I wasn’t busy pretending to be fine?” Then go do one tiny scary thing.

What if the “safe” life you were told to want is exactly what’s draining your soul?

In this episode of Free & Open Mind, Hardy Brooklyn sits down with Alexis Crisp—personal trainer, life coach, and self-described “helper to mankind”—who walked out of a traditional law firm job as a single mom and rebuilt her world around radical authenticity, mental health, and movement.

Alexis shares how she traded the 9–5 grind for flexible, freelance work, managed depression and social anxiety (including a disability leave), and used tools like Toastmasters, chess clubs, and her Move 26 Challenge to design a life that actually fits her. Together, we dig into boundaries, family expectations, and why saying yes to yourself is the first step to any real change.

If you’re exhausted from performing, people-pleasing, or pretending you’re “fine,” this conversation is your permission slip to live differently. Listen now and ask yourself: Where am I performing instead of living?

More about the guest:

• Move 26 Challenge (free 30 days of videos):
  Text “Move 26” to 929-379-6716
• Socials: @alexis.crisp on all major platforms
• Podcast: Well Women Flourish

More about the host:

• Host: Hardy Brooklyn – Life coach helping people live authentic lives in a truly inauthentic world

• Host Website: boxofrain.com

• Podcast website: FreeAndOpenMind.com

If this episode hits home, follow Free & Open Mind on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, tap the ⭐ rating, and share this with one friend who’s tired of pretending.

Are you actually calm… or just numb?

In this episode of The Free & Open Mind, Hardy Brooklyn and co-host Stan Nelson sit down with psychologist and stress expert Gudrun to unpack “borrowed calm” — those moments when you feel okay only because you’ve leaned on alcohol, cannabis, caffeine, sugar, or routine to get you through.

We explore how these everyday habits subtly train your nervous system to depend on outside substances and bad habits just to feel “normal,” and what it takes to build a calm that’s actually yours and doesn’t disappear when the glass is empty or the buzz wears off.

Listen now and ask yourself: Why am I using this right now? Is this really self-care, or just borrowed calm?”

• Reflect: Tonight, notice *one* moment you reach for a substance or habit to feel okay. Just name it: No judgment, no big change yet.
• Share: Screenshot this episode and share your biggest insight or question on social. Tag us so we can continue the conversation.

Connect & Learn More:

• Find Hardy Brooklyn at https://boxofrain.com
• Connect with Stan Nelson at https://coachingwithstan.com.au
• Podcast website: http://freeandopenmind.com

If this episode hit home, follow Free & Open Mind on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, leave a review, and share this with one friend who might be living on borrowed calm and ready for something real.

What if your “quiet” isn’t a mask at all—but a survival tool your brain built on purpose?

In this follow‑up to our episode on masks and masking, Hardy and Stan revisit the three-mask framework (performer, peacekeeper, minimizer) after a powerful message from an autistic/ADHD listener who didn’t see themselves in any of those boxes. Their feedback flips the script: quiet can be a strategic way to regulate, tears can be pressure valves (not “breakdowns”), and some brains need checklists—not feeling wheels—to move through the world.

In this conversation, we explore:

• When quiet is a tool, not a problem – how waiting, slowing down, and “stillness” can increase your chances of being heard
• Tears as regulation – why crying might mean your system is working, not failing
• Checklists vs. feelings – practical self-checks (Have I eaten? Am I hydrated?) for brains that don’t do “name the feeling” on command
• Interoception and signals – noticing your body’s data (gut, tears, tension) without making yourself wrong
• Coaching different neurotypes – why forcing people into one framework can backfire, and how to coach the actual person in front of you

If you’ve ever felt broken because you don’t fit the “speak up, move fast, name your feelings” model, this episode is your reminder: your system isn’t broken—it’s different. Different is information, adaptation, and survival.

**Subscribe** to the Free and Open Mind Podcast for more real conversations with people who live courageously and authentically.

👍 If this resonated,

hit **Like**, drop a comment with your biggest takeaway, and

**share** this episode with someone who needs to hear it

**Connect with us:**

• **Hardy Brooklyn (Host & Life Coach)**: boxofrain.nyc | hardybrooklyn.nyc | Instagram @hardybrooklyn

• **Stan Nelson (Host & Moving Forward & Goal Success Coach**: Website & Blog: https://coachingwithstan.com.au

• 🎧 **Listen Live:** Free & Open Mind streams **live every Friday at 9 AM (ET)**. ▶️ **Replay & Watch:** Full episodes are posted on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and YouTube the same day.

When was the last time you walked into a room — a meeting, a family dinner, a tough conversation — and were completely, unapologetically yourself?

In this episode of The Free & Open Mind, Hardy Brooklyn breaks down why so many smart, capable people stay silent even when they see exactly what’s going wrong… and what it’s costing them in their bodies, minds, and relationships.

You’ll hear about:

• The 3 common masks we wear: the Performer, the Peacekeeper, and the Minimizer
• Why your body and nervous system keep the score when you swallow the truth
• The idea of “authenticity debt” — and how years of performing can make you forget who you are
• A simple 3-step process: Speak, Cope, Grow to say the hard thing without blowing everything up
• How to lead with the other person’s interests (Dale Carnegie-style) so your truth actually lands
• A real client story (“Renee”) who used this framework to finally ask for what she wanted — and got it

Hardy also gives you a one-sentence challenge you can use this week:

Say one true thing to one person you’ve been holding back from.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your life instead of living it — this episode is your invitation to take the mask off, one honest sentence at a time.

New episodes every Friday with Hardy Brooklyn (and co-host Stan from Perth when he’s not off teaching people how to survive in the wilderness).

🎧 Listen, subscribe, and share this episode with one person who needs to hear it.

### 👤 About the Hosts

**Hardy Brooklyn** is a life and business coach based in Brooklyn, New York. Hardy helps individuals who feel something’s “just not right” in their lives redirect their path towards a healthier, happier, more rewarding life.

• Website & Newsletter: https://boxofrain.com

• Link: https://www.bor.bz

• Linktree: https://linktr.ee/hardybrooklyn

**Stan Nelson** is a moving forward and goal success coach from Perth, Western Australia. Stan helps people who feel stuck start living extraordinary lives with clarity, momentum, and aligned goals.

• Website & Blog: https://coachingwithstan.com.au ---

**If this episode resonates with you**, hit **Subscribe**, share your biggest takeaway from this conversation in the comments, and pass this along to someone who needs to be reminded that they can live authentically.

If this episode resonates: Hit LIKE to support the show, SUBSCRIBE to the channel for more real conversations about authenticity, mindset, and resilience.

COMMENT: What’s one tiny way you’ll choose to be more authentic this week?

SHARE this with someone who’s navigating chronic illness, identity, or big life change.

🎧 **Listen Live:** Free & Open Mind streams **live every Friday at 9 AM (ET)**.

▶️ **Replay & Watch:** Full episodes are posted on YouTube the same day.

What does a hot air balloon in 1783 France have to do with your life and business today?

In this episode of The Free & Open Mind, Leonard (Hardy Brooklyn) and Stan revisit the story of the Montgolfier brothers and the first hot air balloon flight to explore what it really means to live authentically, take real risks, and follow your curiosity even when people are watching.

You’ll hear us dive into:

• Authenticity vs. performance – Are you taking real risks, or just looking like you are?
• Fear of public failure – Why you often have to “show up and suck before you show up and shine.”
• Curiosity as a compass – How genuine curiosity pulls you beyond comfort and conformity.
• Perspective shifts – Seeing life from new angles, both literally and metaphorically.
• Modern parallels – AI, social media, content creation, and “performative authenticity.”
• Leonard’s journey – Leaving the corporate power industry, unlearning inauthentic habits, and noticing how the body holds stress from years of misalignment.
• Spotting inauthenticity – From shaky “photographers” to people using AI and shortcuts that clash with who they really are.
• Coaching & honesty – Why saying “I didn’t do the work” is more powerful than pretending you did.

We’ll leave you with a few powerful questions:

• Where in your life are you truly curious right now?
• What real risk could you take in the next 90 days that isn’t for show?
• How can you see your world from a new perspective?

If you’re ready to stop playing it safe, honor your authentic self, and take the kind of risks that actually change your life, this episode is for you.

Connect with us:

• Leonard (Hardy Brooklyn): boxofrain.com | Instagram: @hardybrooklyn.nyc
• Stan (Moving Forward & Goal Success Coach): coachingwithstan.com.au

**What if the only thing standing between you and your true potential is the fear of being your true self?**In this episode of **Free & Open Mind**, we sit down with **Michael S.**, who grew up with a learning disability, speech challenges, and constant bullying — and still chose to build a life based on **authenticity, courage, and compassion**.Michael spent his early years in special ed classes, working with speech therapists and navigating labels that tried to define him. As a teen, he began sitting in on his own **IEP (Individualized Education Plan)** meetings and advocating to move into mainstream classes. That empowered him, proving to others — and to himself — that he was capable of far more than the system expected.Today, Michael has stepped into roles of **leadership and responsibility**, including working as a **shift leader**, managing staff, handling customer issues, and becoming an active member and club officer in **Toastmasters International**.In this conversation, we explore:**Authenticity in real life** What it actually means to be your true self in daily decisions and difficult moments.**Disability, labels, & bullying** Growing up with a learning disability and speech issues, being picked on, and realizing other people’s judgments say more about *them* than about you.**From “special ed kid” to leader** How Michael moved from special education to mainstream classes, then into leadership roles at work and in Toastmasters.**Finding his voice with Toastmasters** Using public speaking to build confidence and see himself as a speaker and leader, not just someone with a diagnosis.**Letting go of people-pleasing** The journey from trying not to disappoint anyone to saying,“I’m not here to please them. I’m here to please myself,” and what that actually looks like in practice.**Compassion, check-ins, & mental health** • Why simple “How are you really?” messages matter. • How check-ins, especially with friends, family, and club members, support mental health and authenticity.**Money, stress, & happiness** Michael’s honest view: money can create happiness through experiences and security — and it can also create real stress. We talk about bills, budgeting, paying yourself first, and still allowing joy.**Daily self-care & staying grounded** From morning coffee and time with nieces and nephews to Toastmasters meetings and occasional “scream therapy” behind a closed door, Michael shares how he keeps himself grounded and real.**Message to parents**Michael closes with a message for **parents of kids with disabilities** — and anyone facing big challenges: don’t overthink every obstacle. Do your best, keep moving, and remember that one day you may look back and realize it didn’t deserve as much of your worry as it got.---### 👤 About the Hosts**Hardy Brooklyn** is a life and business coach based in Brooklyn, New York. Hardy helps individuals who feel something’s “just not right” in their lives redirect their path towards a healthier, happier, more rewarding life.- Website & Newsletter: https://boxofrain.com - Link: https://www.bor.bz - Linktree: https://linktr.ee/hardybrooklyn **Stan Nelson** is a moving forward and goal success coach from Perth, Western Australia. Stan helps people who feel stuck start living extraordinary lives with clarity, momentum, and aligned goals.- Website & Blog: https://coachingwithstan.com.au ---**If this episode resonates with you**, hit **Subscribe**, share your biggest takeaway about authenticity or labels in the comments, and pass this along to someone who needs to be reminded that they can write their own story.