This is not just a story about leaving a cult; it’s about the universal experience of becoming who we truly are.

In Episode 1, Ella VanGaya shares her deeply personal story of living with two profoundly disconnected identities: Pamela, her dissociated “cult self” who existed in constant fear and obedience, and Ella, her hidden authentic self who was resilient yet silenced and ostracized. When these two selves finally recognize each, finally “make eye contact” as she puts it, they engage in a deeply raw, honest, and liberating dialogue. Episode 1 is that conversation. Jehovah's Witnesses are the cult.

Episode 1 explores how trauma fractures identity, how love and terror can become intertwined, and how the road back to wholeness asks us to stand in our deepest truths—with tender vulnerability, the willingness to be seen, and in unwavering connection to this humble and holy human experience.

May our stories be heard. May our stories be loved. May our stories be free.

Contact: [email protected]

Writer, editor, producer, narrator and music maker: Ella VanGaya

This episode was wildly and wonderfully supported by: Maya Luna

Books referenced:

Steven Hassan: Combating Cult Mind Control

Alexandra Stein: Terror, Love and Brainwashing - Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems