freemom, conversations for modern mothers

I recently drenched myself in an article from NPR called, “The Period Talk You Never Got” which had me both hysterically reliving awkward after-school tutorials in my elementary school auditorium and feeling completely mortified by how little I actually knew about something that happens to my body every single month.

What bothered me even more than my naivety was the fact that menstruation still seems to be this red veil of shame. Sure, we complain about the symptoms to our inner circle of girlfriends and our spouses may look to tread a bit more lightly at certain times of the month, but besides the obligatory “welcome to womanhood” chat during our pre-teen years and the exhaustive tracking that comes along with getting pregnant, menstruation really kind of flies under the radar - much like so many other vital components of women’s health.

So today we’re going to do a deep dive on periods with a really cool expert who believe it or not, loves her time of the month. With me today is Heather Allmendinger, a former corporate administrative manager who hated her cycle and struggled with the pain that came with it every month. After earning her certifications as a Health Coach focused on conception and pregnancy, Heather saw the challenges others were experiencing and decided to go all in. She quit her corporate job and started her business, Vivydus, as a Menstrual Cycle Consultant, teaching workshops and coaching others on how to embrace the ovulatory cycle and use it as a tool for self-care, empowerment, fertility, productivity, and inclusive emotional leadership. 

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

I had a conversation with another mom recently that inspired this episode today. I myself had a happy, normal childhood with supportive parents that put me on a stable path to adulthood. She sadly, wasn’t so lucky, and we got to talking about how being the “rock” of the family felt so impossible to her. As mothers, we are so often portrayed as unflappable but in a flood of tiny tears, it’s actually really easy to be derailed, especially if those emotions bring up unresolved issues from our past.

Life is complicated and if we didn’t grow up with the influences and support that we deserved, how can we possibly expect to know how to do it for others? What can we do if parenting brings up feelings that we’ve buried and hope to never resurrect? And how can we move past our own pasts to be great role models and emotional strongholds for our little people? Let’s find out.

Our guest today is Stacey Rowland, a licensed professional counselor and the owner of Strive Counseling based in Phoenix, Arizona. Stacey is very well-versed in trauma healing and has extensive clinical training and experience in public mental health agencies, including residential and outpatient settings. She is passionate about helping individuals and families address their mental health concerns and works collaboratively with her patients to identify and meet their goals. Stacey uses a trauma-informed, strength-based approach to lead people through the process of making positive changes in their lives.

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

As you probably know, this season is all about uncomfortable conversations and today’s topic might just take the cake. So let’s jump right in.

Have you ever imagined what it would feel like to have an affair? Have you ever suspected that your spouse might be cheating? Well, you’re not alone.

According to an article by the Institute for Family Studies approximately 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they’ve had sex with someone other than their spouse while married. But this data widely varies, most likely because people aren’t really comfortable with admitting it. Just Google around and you’ll see reports of more than half of married men engaging in extramarital sex during their marriage. That definitely doesn’t paint of rosy picture of marriage, but more importantly, it gives us an idea of just how hard relationships really are.

Cheating has admittedly been an odd topic for me. Why bother snooping and sneaking around? Why not just break up? Everyone deserves to be happy right, so why can’t we just call a spade a spade and get on with our lives? Of course, we all know it’s much more complicated than that, especially with kids in the mix. So let’s talk about it. Why do people cheat? Is it ever possible to repair our relationship and find happiness together? Let’s find out.

With me today is a guest that we’ve had on the show before and who wow’ed me at such a fever pitch that I had to have her back. Becca Stone is a psychotherapist based in Brooklyn and Philly who works specifically in emotion-focused couple’s therapy, an evidence-based approach to healing relationships grounded in the neuroscience of attachment. She is also a mother of two and works with her husband running their therapy practice. 

Find our more about Becca right here and enjoy the show!

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

As a mom, it can seem almost impossible to think about what would happen if you died. Even preparing for this episode, I started picturing my husband in his grief, searching aimlessly for passwords, digital photos, bank records, and everyday information that lives either online or in my head. Imagine a spouse who just lost their partner, spending hours, days, and months searching for everything. Rectifying bills, closing social media accounts, deleting subscriptions, changing “case of emergency” contacts. The list goes on and on.

According to estimates, it takes 16 months to settle an estate on average. Combing through the digital components of a deceased person’s life can take a lot longer and be much more stressful. Physical assets are one thing but finding, accessing, dissolving, or preserving a person’s online life really is quite another. So that is what we are going to talk about today.

Kate Hufnagel is a professional digital organizer, speaker, and educator who helps individuals and families do the important work that nobody likes to discuss. She is on a mission to normalize conversations about death planning, whether it be during family game night or out for brunch with friends. With a mindblowing background in big tech, Kate uses all of her know-how and experience to help people leave behind a well-organized digital estate.

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

How many times have you said “YES” to something that you really just don’t want to do? Maybe it’s a work commitment or a social event, a school function for the kids, or your spouse’s softball game. Whatever it is, you’ve found yourself pinned against the fence and the “yes” drops out your mouth faster than you can catch it. Immediately you might feel some dread, knowing that the commitment is going to mean giving up something you actually do want to do. But god forbid you say no, the guilt would eat away at you. Am I right?

I’m actually a professional at saying no. I can remember getting fully dressed for New Year’s Eve parties through most of my 20s, just to call friends and tell them I was bailing at the last minute. I’ve recently had to say no to houseguests for no reason other than my own lack of mental capacity, and this very weekend I sent my regrets to two kids birthday parties because, well, just no. 

It seems that my casual attitude towards committment is not the norm. In fact, too many women report saying yes out of guilt, shame, or a fear of retaliation. Women say yes to committees at school, party planning at work, and plenty of other unpaid jobs because they feel like they have to. So how do we stop the cycle and start prioritizing what actually makes us happy and fulfilled as women and mothers? Let’s find out.

With me today is Molly Vasa Bertolucci, a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Poppy Therapy based in Los Alamitos, California. Molly works exclusively with moms and she is passionate about helping women develop and build the skills and social supports they need to cope with life’s major transitions. She loves helping mothers feel empowered and her focus is how to make mental and emotional health a priority while caring for others. 

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

When you were a teenager, do you remember how it felt when the latest issue of your favorite magazine arrived in the mail? I love pouring over the pages, ogling all the fashion and beauty that was so far beyond my reach. 

Compared to now, there was a kind of innocence about media back then - we used to worship untouchable celebrities and models, which is so different to how we carry influencers and content creators in our pockets today. Advertising has become so personal and so clearly instinctual that we’re almost afraid to speak about it out loud. Hello Alexa. 

While I was looking up the history of women in advertising, I found a lot that made me chuckle. An exhibit at Duke University showcased ads with women being portrayed as essential workers while men went off to war in the 40s. That morphed into media showing women as the perfect housewife when the good ole boys came home. The explosion of feminism in the 70s made way for messages about freedom which quickly turned into women as sex symbols with the rise of the 1980s supermodel. What came from that is the idea that women can “do it all” - have a career, take care of the family, and be a stunning, sexy wife to boot. I feel like I can hear your eyes rolling.

The advent of the internet and social media has most certainly revolutionized advertising, and where a trend may have once held up for a decade, things are now changing in what feels like the blink of an eye. As both women and moms of absorbent children, it’s worth at least trying to keep up, right? So let’s find out more about what we are in for. 

With me today is Katie Keating, Co-Founder and Chief Creative Officer at Fancy, a New York City-based ad agency that works to empower brands to create meaningful, motivating connections with women. Katie co-founded Fancy in 2011 to change the way advertising works for women but also to help businesses communicate in a way that’s authentic to us as an audience.

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

Here’s a question. How do you and your spouse divide your household tasks? If you’re a cisgender woman in a heterosexual relationship, you might already be groaning. Yes, for women, and especially mothers, it probably feels like the cards and the laundry are stacked against us, and you’re not wrong. According to a 2021 Pew Research study, nearly 60% of women say they do more household chores than their spouse, while just 6% say their spouse or partner does more. If you ask the husbands, 46% say the responsibilities are shared about equally, while 20% say they do more and 34% say their spouse does more. Isn’t that ironic? 

In another study, this time by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, women in the United States spend 37 percent more time on unpaid household and care work than men on an average day. Just google any term similar to “gender balance household chores” or “women unpaid labor” and you’ll find plenty of data points to show that women do twice as much of the work in the home that men do, even while working full time jobs. The big question for me is why and more importantly, what the heck can we do about it?

Our guest today is Lauren Tetenbaum, a Westchester, New York-based advocate and therapist certified in perinatal mental health who specializes in life transitions affecting millennial women. With an approach grounded in empathy and emotional intelligence, Lauren counsels clients on romantic relationships, career choices, pregnancy and parenting, anxiety, and family dynamics. She is a devoted mom of two and passionate about building connections and giving back to her community.

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

A glass of wine while making dinner, a joint after the kids have gone to bed, micro-dosing on mushrooms while folding laundry - these are just a few of the ways that moms are getting through the day. 

The stress of parenting has never been more real and for a lot of women, a little help to let go, keep calm, and make it to bedtime is becoming increasingly common. It’s certainly nothing new - the mommy martini of the 50s became so culturally iconic that you probably know someone with a depiction stuck to their refrigerator.

In truth, moms absolutely need a break and the demands of work, parenting, and managing the household are more difficult and exhausting than they ever have been. But at what point does something that offers the occasional bit of breathing room start to become a real problem? Where do you draw the line between a release and an addiction? How can we strike a balance to ensure we’re taking care of ourselves and our families in a way that’s healthy and safe? And if we’re feeling like we are getting a bit too substance dependent, what can we do about it? That’s what we are going to talk about today. 

Back with us is one of my favorite guests. Jessica Vanderberg is the Co-Founder and Clinical Director of The Alliance Center, a Connecticut-based mental health center that’s solely focused on supporting mothers through life’s major transitions. As a full-spectrum doula, childbirth educator, social worker, and mom, Jessica has dedicated her life to the mental health of women as they navigate pregnancy, motherhood, and parenting.  

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

If you are a working mother, calling the past few years “demanding” is the understatement of the century. Even in this “post-COVID” era, women leaders left their companies at the highest rates ever and the gap between women and men quitting senior roles became bigger than ever.  

As a working mom today, you’ve probably had to stay home more than once because your child is sick and you have no one else to care for them. You’re of course not alone. 45 percent of mothers with children aged five and under left the workforce entirely during COVID because they had no one to look after their kids, compared to just 14 percent of fathers.

But for many of us, our working lives form a major part of our identity. We want to be able to have meaningful careers and enjoy the satisfaction of participating in something bigger than ourselves. Work matters and but our families do too.  So that’s what we are going to talk about today. How can we embrace both work and motherhood, find the flexibility to excel at both jobs, and have confident conversations about what we need to set ourselves up for success? Let’s find out. 

With us today is Madeline Schwarz, a communication coach who helps quiet leaders speak up at work. What started as a career in window displays developed into a business about communication. As a window display designer, she learned how to get a message across in seconds. As a book publicist, she crafted stories that grabbed attention. Now she helps other people capture their audience's attention. Madeline has worked with founders to Fortune 500s and when she's not dreaming up ways to make communication more fun, you can find her visiting art museums and building cardboard forts with her son. Connect with her on Instagram or LinkedIn.

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!

Imagine landing a new job or a big promotion and finding out that the reason you got it is that you’re a woman. Then you find out that because you’re a woman, the company figured out that they could pay you less for the same job than they would pay a man to do the same work. Pretty infuriating right? 

It sounds insane, but it’s very real and it’s happening not only in the United States but all over the world. Known as the gender pay gap, women earn roughly 80 cents for every dollar that a man earns here in the U.S.  If you’re in management, that widens to 77 cents on the dollar. And here’s the kicker. If we keep moving at the rate we are now, it will take more than 250 years to close the gender pay gap globally. 

So how is this really affecting women at work, and what can we do about it? Let’s find out. 

With me today this Katica Roy, a gender economist who sees the gender wage gap not only as a social issue but an economic one with the opportunity to create significant growth. As a breadwinner mom who fought to be paid equitably twice (and won), she spearheaded original breadwinner mom research in 2018. Kah-ti-kuh is a widely-recognized voice in the realm of gender equity and has been featured by Forbes, Fortune, NBC, and Bloomberg, to name a few. She is the CEO of Pipeline Equity, a company providing comprehensive analytics that quantifies unconscious bias within an organization.

From mental health and managing relationships to raising changemakers and advocating for support, freemom is a podcast dedicated to ensuring that every mom feels heard. You can find us on the gram at @freemomcast or on the web at www.freemomcast.com. You can also support the show and help fund production with a sweet little five-dollar donation right here. Thanks for listening!