Fri-Date

Today’s Topic: Avoiding Relationship Groundhog Day by Creating a Dream Line

Do you remember Groundhog Day, the hilarious Bill Murray movie about a man who wakes up to live the same day, every day?

Too many people are living life just like this – they wake up, brush their teeth, come home, feed the kid, read a story, go to bed, and then wake up and do it all over again.

It’s easy to fall into that trap, but it’s not a great place to be.

 

Kim and I fell into this trap at one point, too, but we were able to climb out of it using one of Tim Ferriss’ tools: The Dream Line. It’s all about finding what you want to have, be, and do over the next six months.

Tim Ferriss says, “Dreamlining focuses on activities that will fill the vacuum created when work is removed. Living like a millionaire requires doing interesting things and not just owning enviable things.”

Here’s a few tips on how to use this tool in your own life:

• Come up with what you want to have and what those things realistically cost (e.g. an Aston Martin is about $1,700 / month). What is the Total Monthly Income you will need to have those things?
• Play Stupid Idea Time, an important (and fun) part of the dreaming together process. When you create the stupid idea time parameters, it will give you the freedom to say something that may be viewed as “stupid,” which may be just what you need to get out of a rut. (Thanks, Madam Secretary, for the idea.)
• If you’re anything like me, you’re fascinated by, and constantly consuming more information about, personal development… and if you’re anything like me, you implement way less than you learn. Kim, on the other hand, is a great implementer – and that’s who you want to learn from. Personal development within a relationship is really important, but it only works if you implement it – together! Our advice is to narrow your focus to no more than three things that you want to implement at any given time, master them, and then start over.

 

Resources:

• I’d love your feedback on the show, and to show my thanks I’m raffling away a ticket to Lewis Howes’ next event, every week. Click here to review the podcast and leave a 5-star Review.
• Want to try Organifi Gold Superfood Powder? Use discount code "WORKHARDPLAYHARD" for 20% off at organifishop.com

Today’s Topic: Avoiding Relationship Groundhog Day by Creating a Dream Line

Do you remember Groundhog Day, the hilarious Bill Murray movie about a man who wakes up to live the same day, every day?

Too many people are living life just like this – they wake up, brush their teeth, come home, feed the kid, read a story, go to bed, and then wake up and do it all over again.

It’s easy to fall into that trap, but it’s not a great place to be.

Kim and I fell into this trap at one point, too, but we were able to climb out of it using one of Tim Ferriss’ tools: The Dream Line. It’s all about finding what you want to have, be, and do over the next six months.

Tim Ferriss says, “Dreamlining focuses on activities that will fill the vacuum created when work is removed. Living like a millionaire requires doing interesting things and not just owning enviable things.”

Here’s a few tips on how to use this tool in your own life:

Come up with what you want to have and what those things realistically cost (e.g. an Aston Martin is about $1,700 / month). What is the Total Monthly Income you will need to have those things?

Play Stupid Idea Time, an important (and fun) part of the dreaming together process. When you create the stupid idea time parameters, it will give you the freedom to say something that may be viewed as “stupid,” which may be just what you need to get out of a rut. (Thanks, Madam Secretary, for the idea.)

If you’re anything like me, you’re fascinated by, and constantly consuming more information about, personal development… and if you’re anything like me, you implement way less than you learn. Kim, on the other hand, is a great implementer – and that’s who you want to learn from. Personal development within a relationship is really important, but it only works if you implement it – together! Our advice is to narrow your focus to no more than three things that you want to implement at any given time, master them, and then start over.

Resources:

I’d love your feedback on the show, and to show my thanks I’m raffling away a ticket to Lewis Howes’ next event, every week. http://getpodcast.reviews/id/1310820683 (Click here to review the podcast and leave a 5-star Review.)

Want to try Organifi Gold Superfood Powder? Use discount code "WORKHARDPLAYHARD" for 20% off at organifishop.com

Today’s Topic: How to Avoid Divorce

John Gottman can predict, with 99.9% accuracy, if a couple will get divorced by spending just two minutes with them.

How does he know?

Gottman knows to look for The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

Criticism - When you start being critical about your partner.

Contempt - Criticism can escalate into contempt; the eye roll personified.

Defensiveness - If you don’t repair that contempt, defensiveness will grow.

Stonewalling - Finally, you will essentially become numb to your partner’s reactions and when you communicate to them. According to Gottman’s research, if you get to this point, you have a 99.9% chance of divorce in the next two years.

Okay, now that you know what the Four Horsemen are, and knowing is half the battle after all, are you dealing with any of them?

If you are, I’ve found that these strategies have really improved my relationship:

When you’re in criticism, try to complain without blaming (which isn’t easy to do!)

When you feel contempt, you want to build a culture of appreciation. So when you start rolling your eyes, instead choose to appreciate everything that you love about your partner.

If you are defensive, you want to take responsibility for it.

When you find yourself stonewalling, take a break – give yourself 20 minutes and

Resources:

Learn more from The Gottman Institute: Gottman.com

Read: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

Want to try Organifi Gold Superfood Powder? Use discount code "WORKHARDPLAYHARD" for 20% off at organifishop.com

I’d love your feedback on the show, and to show my thanks I’m raffling away a ticket to Lewis Howes’ next event, every week. Click here to review the podcast and leave a 5-star Review.

Today’s Topic: How to Avoid Divorce

John Gottman can predict, with 99.9% accuracy, if a couple will get divorced by spending just two minutes with them.

 

How does he know?

Gottman knows to look for The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

1. Criticism - When you start being critical about your partner.
2. Contempt - Criticism can escalate into contempt; the eye roll personified.
3. Defensiveness - If you don’t repair that contempt, defensiveness will grow.
4. Stonewalling - Finally, you will essentially become numb to your partner’s reactions and when you communicate to them. According to Gottman’s research, if you get to this point, you have a 99.9% chance of divorce in the next two years.

 

Okay, now that you know what the Four Horsemen are, and knowing is half the battle after all, are you dealing with any of them?

If you are, I’ve found that these strategies have really improved my relationship:

• When you’re in criticism, try to complain without blaming (which isn’t easy to do!)
• When you feel contempt, you want to build a culture of appreciation. So when you start rolling your eyes, instead choose to appreciate everything that you love about your partner.
• If you are defensive, you want to take responsibility for it.
• When you find yourself stonewalling, take a break – give yourself 20 minutes and

 

Resources:

• Learn more from The Gottman Institute: Gottman.com
• Read: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver
• Want to try Organifi Gold Superfood Powder? Use discount code "WORKHARDPLAYHARD" for 20% off at organifishop.com

 

I’d love your feedback on the show, and to show my thanks I’m raffling away a ticket to Lewis Howes’ next event, every week. Click here to review the podcast and leave a 5-star Review.

Today’s Topic: How to Avoid Divorce

John Gottman can predict, with 99.9% accuracy, if a couple will get divorced by spending just two minutes with them.

How does he know?

Gottman knows to look for The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

Criticism - When you start being critical about your partner.

Contempt - Criticism can escalate into contempt; the eye roll personified.

Defensiveness - If you don’t repair that contempt, defensiveness will grow.

Stonewalling - Finally, you will essentially become numb to your partner’s reactions and when you communicate to them. According to Gottman’s research, if you get to this point, you have a 99.9% chance of divorce in the next two years.

Okay, now that you know what the Four Horsemen are, and knowing is half the battle after all, are you dealing with any of them?

If you are, I’ve found that these strategies have really improved my relationship:

When you’re in criticism, try to complain without blaming (which isn’t easy to do!)

When you feel contempt, you want to build a culture of appreciation. So when you start rolling your eyes, instead choose to appreciate everything that you love about your partner.

If you are defensive, you want to take responsibility for it.

When you find yourself stonewalling, take a break – give yourself 20 minutes and

Resources:

Learn more from The Gottman Institute: Gottman.com

Read: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

Want to try Organifi Gold Superfood Powder? Use discount code "WORKHARDPLAYHARD" for 20% off at organifishop.com

I’d love your feedback on the show, and to show my thanks I’m raffling away a ticket to Lewis Howes’ next event, every week. Click here to review the podcast and leave a 5-star Review.

As I get older, I’m always looking for ways to create more movement in my body, and today we’re talking to the mobility expert: Jen Esquer (AKA Doc Jen). She is the physical therapist who created The Mobility Method, an incredibly successful program that helps people relieve pain, prevent injury, and optimize movement in just 10 minutes a day.

Jen believes that, with the right information, everyone has the power to affect change in their body. Unfortunately, she can only work with so many people in person, so she created The Mobility Method to make optimizing your body more accessible – for anyone, anywhere, with almost any budget.

In This Conversation We Cover:

[2:30] Jen’s trip to Guatemala with (https://pencilsofpromise.org/)

[5:00] Leaving private practice to create something bigger

[7:45] How your sphere of influence helps you grow (or holds you back)

[9:00] Getting Insta-famous

[15:00] The neurological side of breathwork & how to breathe

[22:40] How Jen creates & shares her incredibly high-quality Instagram content

[33:50] Collaborating with other creators

[38:45] Why Jen decided to create The Mobility Method

[43:00] The difference between stretching and activating

[48:00] Jen’s tips for a successful product launch (and mistakes to avoid)

[53:30] Dealing with the challenges of putting yourself out there on the internet (especially as a medical professional)

[1:04:30] Jen’s struggle with her evening and morning routine

Your Sphere of Influence

Like Jen, I decided I didn’t want to be physically tied to my business and set out to live a bigger life. I recruited the best minds on the planet to help me maximize every area of my life.

Because when you surround yourself with people who are constantly growing, when you see what’s possible just around the corner, you are driven to grow and achieve more.

Finding an Audience Online (and Becoming Insta-famous)

A few years ago, Jen had a sizeable audience, a few hundred thousand followers – and then she released an educational video that blew up and received over one million views.

As a result, Jen gained 40,000 new followers, and she’s been continuing to grow ever since.

What was the key ingredients to her success? It’s not unique, but it is critical: consistency over everything.

Since grad school, Jen has been sharing posts about fitness and, gradually, building her following. When she eventually introduced more educational content, consistency was once again what kept bringing in a new audience of people.

The viral video wasn’t planned, and there was nothing special about it compared to her other educational videos – but because she was consistently creating valuable content, she was creating more opportunities for a home run success.

Jen’s Content Creation Process for Instagram

In addition to consistency, Jen also creates some of the highest quality content I’ve ever seen in the wellness space. Here’s how she does it:

Jen shoots all of the video on her iPhone.

She then imports those clips into a video editing app called (http://spliceapp.com/) , which allows her to keep the videos vertical for IG.

If she wants to add more effects on top of the video, such as arrows or text to add clarity, she uses Vont.

Then Jen finds an appropriate, eye-catching image (usually related to anatomy) and adds her video title and tag (@DocJenFit) onto the image using the app Fonto.

Finally, Jen uses the app Pic Stitch to put the photo next to the video, split screen style.

“I think of Instagram like a billboard. If you’re not attracting attention in the couple seconds when somebody is scrolling through, then you’re going to lose them.”

Jen batches this process to create a whole week’s worth of videos at once. She generally shoots five at a time, which actually only takes about 30 minutes because each video is only one minute long.

Something that may shock the avid Instagrammers out there: Jen gave up on hashtags! She’s experimented a lot, and what she’s...

As I get older, I’m always looking for ways to create more movement in my body, and today we’re talking to the mobility expert: Jen Esquer (AKA Doc Jen). She is the physical therapist who created The Mobility Method, an incredibly successful program that helps people relieve pain, prevent injury, and optimize movement in just 10 minutes a day.

Jen believes that, with the right information, everyone has the power to affect change in their body. Unfortunately, she can only work with so many people in person, so she created The Mobility Method to make optimizing your body more accessible – for anyone, anywhere, with almost any budget.

 

In This Conversation We Cover:

• [2:30] Jen’s trip to Guatemala with Pencils of Promise
• [5:00] Leaving private practice to create something bigger
• [7:45] How your sphere of influence helps you grow (or holds you back)
• [9:00] Getting Insta-famous
• [15:00] The neurological side of breathwork & how to breathe
• [22:40] How Jen creates & shares her incredibly high-quality Instagram content
• [33:50] Collaborating with other creators
• [38:45] Why Jen decided to create The Mobility Method
• [43:00] The difference between stretching and activating
• [48:00] Jen’s tips for a successful product launch (and mistakes to avoid)
• [53:30] Dealing with the challenges of putting yourself out there on the internet (especially as a medical professional)
• [1:04:30] Jen’s struggle with her evening and morning routine

 

Your Sphere of Influence

Like Jen, I decided I didn’t want to be physically tied to my business and set out to live a bigger life. I recruited the best minds on the planet to help me maximize every area of my life.

Because when you surround yourself with people who are constantly growing, when you see what’s possible just around the corner, you are driven to grow and achieve more.

 

Finding an Audience Online (and Becoming Insta-famous)

A few years ago, Jen had a sizeable audience, a few hundred thousand followers – and then she released an educational video that blew up and received over one million views.

As a result, Jen gained 40,000 new followers, and she’s been continuing to grow ever since.

What was the key ingredients to her success? It’s not unique, but it is critical: consistency over everything.

Since grad school, Jen has been sharing posts about fitness and, gradually, building her following. When she eventually introduced more educational content, consistency was once again what kept bringing in a new audience of people.

The viral video wasn’t planned, and there was nothing special about it compared to her other educational videos – but because she was consistently creating valuable content, she was creating more opportunities for a home run success.

 

Jen’s Content Creation Process for Instagram

In addition to consistency, Jen also creates some of the highest quality content I’ve ever seen in the wellness space. Here’s how she does it:

• Jen shoots all of the video on her iPhone.
• She then imports those clips into a video editing app called Splice, which allows her to keep the videos vertical for IG.
• If she wants to add more effects on top of the video, such as arrows or text to add clarity, she uses Vont.
• Then Jen finds an appropriate, eye-catching image (usually related to anatomy) and adds her video title and tag (@DocJenFit) onto the image using the app Fonto.
• Finally, Jen uses the app Pic Stitch to put the photo next to the video, split screen style.

 

“I think of Instagram like a billboard. If you’re not attracting attention in the couple seconds when somebody is scrolling through, then you’re going to lose them.”

Jen batches this process to create a whole week’s worth of videos at once. She generally shoots five at a time, which actually only takes about 30 minutes because each video is only one minute long.

Something that may shock the avid Instagrammers out there: Jen gave up on hashtags! She’s experimented a lot, and what she’s found is that it takes too much time and it has almost no impact on the traction of her videos.

However, Jen has had some success with creating her own hashtags (#DocJenFit or #DocJenFlows) and encouraging people to follow them so that they don’t miss anything, even if the IG algorithm doesn’t surface that video to them.

When you break it down, the three most important things for any content on Instagram are creating something immediately eye-catching, sharing something of genuine value, and doing so consistently.

Anything else, even the best hashtag game, won’t help if you aren’t accomplishing those three things.

 

The Mobility Method

The impetus for creating The Mobility Method was actually the viral video that made Jen Insta-famous (in my words). It was about mobility, opening your body up, and stretching, and Jen realized that that’s what a lot of people really wanted to see.

Plus, Jen is passionate about the importance of mobility for everyone. It’s a prerequisite for anyone who wants to re-introduce exercise and training, or those looking to combat chronic pain.

If that wasn’t enough, Jen did more due diligence: she asked her followers in an Instagram Live and sent out a survey. Overwhelmingly, people said they wanted to see more about mobility.

 

“You have to be very connected to what you’re creating.”

Jen also nailed the landing on her product launch, and her first tip for anyone who wants to launch and market their product online is reading this book: Launch: An Internet Millionaire's Secret Formula To Sell Almost Anything Online, Build A Business You Love, And Live The Life Of Your Dreams by Jeff Walker.

Walker goes through the sequence of creating the mindset behind the product that you’re about to release, strategies for promotion, and building an email list.

 

Resources:

• Learn more at docjenfit.com
• Check out The Mobility Method
• Connect with Jen on Instagram: @DocJenFit
• Launch by Jeff Walker
• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
• You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero
• The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
• Ascension Leadership Academy

 

I’d love your feedback on the show, and to show my thanks I’m raffling away a ticket to Lewis Howes’ next event, every week. Click here to review the podcast and leave a 5-star Review.

As I get older, I’m always looking for ways to create more movement in my body, and today we’re talking to the mobility expert: Jen Esquer (AKA Doc Jen). She is the physical therapist who created The Mobility Method, an incredibly successful program that helps people relieve pain, prevent injury, and optimize movement in just 10 minutes a day.

Jen believes that, with the right information, everyone has the power to affect change in their body. Unfortunately, she can only work with so many people in person, so she created The Mobility Method to make optimizing your body more accessible – for anyone, anywhere, with almost any budget.

In This Conversation We Cover:

[2:30] Jen’s trip to Guatemala with https://pencilsofpromise.org/ (Pencils of Promise)

[5:00] Leaving private practice to create something bigger

[7:45] How your sphere of influence helps you grow (or holds you back)

[9:00] Getting Insta-famous

[15:00] The neurological side of breathwork & how to breathe

[22:40] How Jen creates & shares her incredibly high-quality Instagram content

[33:50] Collaborating with other creators

[38:45] Why Jen decided to create The Mobility Method

[43:00] The difference between stretching and activating

[48:00] Jen’s tips for a successful product launch (and mistakes to avoid)

[53:30] Dealing with the challenges of putting yourself out there on the internet (especially as a medical professional)

[1:04:30] Jen’s struggle with her evening and morning routine

Your Sphere of Influence

Like Jen, I decided I didn’t want to be physically tied to my business and set out to live a bigger life. I recruited the best minds on the planet to help me maximize every area of my life.

Because when you surround yourself with people who are constantly growing, when you see what’s possible just around the corner, you are driven to grow and achieve more.

Finding an Audience Online (and Becoming Insta-famous)

A few years ago, Jen had a sizeable audience, a few hundred thousand followers – and then she released an educational video that blew up and received over one million views.

As a result, Jen gained 40,000 new followers, and she’s been continuing to grow ever since.

What was the key ingredients to her success? It’s not unique, but it is critical: consistency over everything.

Since grad school, Jen has been sharing posts about fitness and, gradually, building her following. When she eventually introduced more educational content, consistency was once again what kept bringing in a new audience of people.

The viral video wasn’t planned, and there was nothing special about it compared to her other educational videos – but because she was consistently creating valuable content, she was creating more opportunities for a home run success.

Jen’s Content Creation Process for Instagram

In addition to consistency, Jen also creates some of the highest quality content I’ve ever seen in the wellness space. Here’s how she does it:

Jen shoots all of the video on her iPhone.

She then imports those clips into a video editing app called http://spliceapp.com/ (Splice), which allows her to keep the videos vertical for IG.

If she wants to add more effects on top of the video, such as arrows or text to add clarity, she uses Vont.

Then Jen finds an appropriate, eye-catching image (usually related to anatomy) and adds her video title and tag (@DocJenFit) onto the image using the app Fonto.

Finally, Jen uses the app Pic Stitch to put the photo next to the video, split screen style.

“I think of Instagram like a billboard. If you’re not attracting attention in the couple seconds when somebody is scrolling through, then you’re going to lose them.”

Jen batches this process to create a whole week’s worth of videos at once. She generally shoots five at a time, which actually only takes about 30 minutes because each video is only one minute long.

Something that may shock the avid Instagrammers

Kim and I have been working and playing together for 14 years (very long years, she says), and we’ve come up with a few strategies that have helped us not kill each other in the process. At the end of every week, we’ll be sitting down for a short Fri-Date, where we’ll share our tips and tricks with all of you.

Today’s topic: What lights you up, lights me up.

Kim and I attended one of Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny events, and he taught us a few things that we’ve been practicing ever since.

To start, you have to understand that there are three levels of relationships:

It’s all about me and my needs.

You take care of your needs, I’ll take care of my needs, and then maybe we’ll meet up.

What lights you up, lights me up.

In the third, highest level of relationships, your partner’s needs are your needs – and it’s a totally different way of looking at things.

This practice is rooted in The Law of Reciprocity: the idea that when you do something for someone else, they will be more inclined to do something for you.

On the flip side of this, it’s also important to address anything that might be dimming your light. Even if it’s just a bad attitude after a long day of work, talking about these issues early and directly will prevent any more significant problems from bubbling up.

And when you’re busy working hard and playing hard, especially if you have children, you will have to be more intentional about actively scheduling time for those conversations (maybe every Friday on your podcast?).

Resources:

I’d love your feedback on the show, and to show my thanks I’m raffling away a ticket to Lewis Howes’ next event, every week. (http://getpodcast.reviews/id/1310820683)

Kim and I have been working and playing together for 14 years (very long years, she says), and we’ve come up with a few strategies that have helped us not kill each other in the process. At the end of every week, we’ll be sitting down for a short Fri-Date, where we’ll share our tips and tricks with all of you.

 

Today’s topic: What lights you up, lights me up.

Kim and I attended one of Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny events, and he taught us a few things that we’ve been practicing ever since.

To start, you have to understand that there are three levels of relationships:

1. It’s all about me and my needs.
2. You take care of your needs, I’ll take care of my needs, and then maybe we’ll meet up.
3. What lights you up, lights me up.

In the third, highest level of relationships, your partner’s needs are your needs – and it’s a totally different way of looking at things.

This practice is rooted in The Law of Reciprocity: the idea that when you do something for someone else, they will be more inclined to do something for you.

On the flip side of this, it’s also important to address anything that might be dimming your light. Even if it’s just a bad attitude after a long day of work, talking about these issues early and directly will prevent any more significant problems from bubbling up.

And when you’re busy working hard and playing hard, especially if you have children, you will have to be more intentional about actively scheduling time for those conversations (maybe every Friday on your podcast?).

 

Resources:

• I’d love your feedback on the show, and to show my thanks I’m raffling away a ticket to Lewis Howes’ next event, every week. Click here to review the podcast and leave a 5-star Review.