Rules of the Universe…Rules of a Successful Marriage 

What makes us tick?

I’m fascinated with the odds, numbers and rules that govern this world we live in.  Even the atheists can agree with me that math defines a lot of this world and universe.

There are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand on this earth.  That simple fact is mind boggling to me.  For you to be here, the earth has to be the perfect distance from the sun (93 million miles).  We move closer and we are burning up.  We move further away and we are frozen.  We are just right...pending any self destruction.  Starting to sound like Goldy Locks and the Three Bears?  Meanwhile, our astronomers constantly study the stars trying to find a similar situation that can create life.  Ask them, it’s not easy.  Fact, the odds are astronomical (pun intended) that you are here.

Affairs and Getting Screwed

I would love to see the stats of how many readers go to this chapter first.  It may be a tie between this one and Sex!  Of course, they go hand in hand.

Oh man, my least favorite chapter and probably will be the least listened to chapter/episode ever.  The 'D' word.  Sigh.  Thank YOU for your boldness to give this a shot.  If worthy, you will know somebody that is going to need this, here you go...

“Ugh, I want to leave this person!”. “Who is this person?”,  “Did he just say that?”, “I just can’t even talk with you right now.”.  If you have never said a version of this, then you haven’t been married long enough.  Wait, “What?” some of you ask.  Ok, maybe it’s more like “Who is this person?” or you are angry, you yelled at them or on the other side maybe it’s the silent treatment or cold shoulder.  Now, it’s starting to come into focus for most of you.  You may be feeling this for years or may have been an hour so far.  

The Fade
Every couple experiences the ‘The Fade’ at multiple points of their marriage.  As a recurring theme in this book, it is not a matter of ‘IF’ it is a matter of ‘WHEN’.  

There are a ton of factors that create or eliminate the fade.  We call them spacers and magnets...

It was posted shortly after the Thousand Oaks shooting.  I love what he was trying to say.  Something along the lines that even if it is a fairly-tale God, we had a societal fear of retribution.  He said that we’ve always had mental illness and guns (well at least since the creation of this country).  Narcisside is a newer development.  Narcisside are narcissists that want to take themselves out, innocent lives with them and get infamy after.  That is one of the ultimate depths of evil.    

Small Town, Minnesota, roughly 30 miles from Minneapolis and St. Paul.  As an 80’s kid, it was a great place to grow up.  You were 15 minutes from shopping malls but you were far enough away to feel in the country.  30 minutes to get to work in The Twin Cities.  My town hosted one quaint elementary school built in the 1920s.  The school was conveniently located next to the IGA grocery store for an after-school candy fix.  When weather permitted, we rode our bikes to school every day.  No parental escort.  Kidnapping?  What the heck was that?

Opposites Attract

Speaking of ‘Irreconcilable Differences’, well that means opposites work against each other.  Truth, we choose whether to let those differences become irreconcilable.  We choose whether to change from abusive/destructive to healthy/loving behavior.  We also choose to embrace and actually benefit from certain differences.  Study any successful couple and you will note they can be very different.  Each person brings certain strengths and weaknesses to a relationship.  Often the other side counters the weaknesses with strengths.  When you really think about it, it is a brilliant design.  

Love at first sight?

So Lainey and I married on a beautiful day on October 1, 1994.  It was a gorgeous day.  We were married in St. Cloud, MN at St. Mary’s Catholic Church.  We met at St. Cloud State University.  I would like to say it was love at first sight, but it wasn’t.  Don’t get me wrong, I thought she was hot.  That wasn’t quite her first impression of me. . .

Irreconcilable Differences:  Rally it?!  LOL

Rally it?!  Some of you are laughing at yourselves right now.  Haven’t you ever heard of irreconcilable differences?  Hmmmm, that sounds familiar.  Oh yes, you mean the primary reason that most Hollywood (and American) couples use to justify a divorce?  Yeah, I know that one.  In most cases, ‘irreconcilable differences’ should simply…