Friends for the Journey

Every once in awhile, we’re fortunate to meet a kindred soul along the road. That’s how it feels when Roberta Damon sits down with Kathrin to share some insight, wit, laughter, as well as a little Shakespeare.  

As a marriage & family therapist, Roberta brought clinical experience, faithful study, and academic insight into her work on Ministering to Ministers. As a woman of faith, Roberta infuses her writing with a compassionate reflection of the human experience. 

 In this episode, weaving together their respective wit, experience, and compassion, Roberta and Kathrin share their discovered treasures with one another and you in their dialogue.

 Welcome, Friend. We’re glad you’re here with us today.

 Here are links to the resources mentioned in our conversation:

Roberta’s Website: RobertaDamon.me
Roberta’s books:
    A Voice Beyond Weeping,
    Dear Mrs. Noah: Letters to Unnamed Women of the Bible
    Roberta’s Introduction to Dear Mrs. Noah on YouTube
    Dear Abishag: Letters to Little Known Women of the Bible
   Theirs Is the Kingdom

Roberta M. Damon, PhD, recipient of the Ministering to Ministers’ Campbell-Wallace Award
Interested in Contacting Roberta? Send her a note here.

Also:
Lewis B. Smedes’ book, Forgive & Forget, Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve
Rascall Flats song, I Won’t Let Go
Shakespeare’s Sonnet 73, read by David Shaw-Parker on YouTube

Here are some interesting resources about Mindfulness:
The Imagine Project introduces mindfulness and creativity to help children across the world deal with stress and trauma.
The Mayo Clinic provides a little clinical overview of mindfulness here.
Beliefnet.com has some information about meditation as well via this link.

And Kathrin hasn’t been able to find the source of the metaphor (or legend) of lifting the silk scarf off of the thorn bush anywhere. If you are familiar with this image or know the source of this metaphor, please let Kathrin know by sending her a message. 

Many thanks to Ministering to Ministers, who produces and supports this podcast.  Please check out the resources available through this fantastic foundation:

Ministering to Ministers
Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats
Ministering to Ministers Resources: Forced Termination
Ministering to Ministers: The Problem
Ministering to Ministers Resources: Books

Music for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request

There is, within each of us, a story that we have not yet shared. In fact, there might be several stories we have not shared. 

We might want to, but don’t know how.
How to begin telling this story…
Where to start...
What to say…
Who to include in the telling…
When might be the right time…
Why take the bother of untangling the knots of that story…

These stories remain with us, told or untold, rolling around in our memories, occasionally bumping against the edges of our hearts.  And in those moments when we bump against those stories, the world might seem larger and emptier than we thought it could be. 

But what if, within the very stories we carry, there might be a glimpse of the everlasting festival of paradise? What if, in those moments of feeling lonely, we might recall that solitude and loneliness unites all of Creation in a deep yearning for one another?

These stories, left untold, hold the promise of unity, for we are, truly, not alone. We, each one of us, have the potential to be the ambassador of peace for one another. 

 There, in those moments before we share our story.

 I look forward to hearing yours.

 Links:

 Kathrin Gabriel-Jones is an Encouragement Coach in private practice and works with Ministering to Ministers as a Friend for the Journey.  

 HelpGuide, a nonprofit mental health and wellness website, provides evidence-based information for a broad spectrum of issues, concerns, and circumstances: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/dealing-with-uncertainty.htm

 Interpersonal Communication and Resilience during COVID-19 Chaos, published March 26, 2020 by Maria Ventis, Associate Professor at Purdue (last accessed 09/23/2020) https://cla.purdue.edu/academic/communication/blog/interpersonal-communication-and-resilience-during-covid-19-chaos/

 Many thanks to Ministering to Ministers, who produces and supports this podcast.  Please check out the resources available through this fantastic foundation:

            Ministering to Ministers
            Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats
            Ministering to Ministers Resources: Forced Termination   
            Ministering to Ministers: The Problem
            Ministering to Ministers Resources: Books

Music for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request

Kathrin shares some time with her friend, Scott Cooper Tilton, to talk about the literal landscapes he’s journeyed through: from Alna, Maine to Rockland, Maine, then to Bengaluru, India (also known as Bangalore), to Malawi, Africa, where he served the village of Kamwazeka, Malawi through his work with the Peace Corp. After a medical separation, Scott’s journey took him back to Rockland, Maine.  

Scott’s explorations of life have introduced him to multifaceted aspects of life, faith, and culture. And with a generous grace, Scott shares insights about sound, friendship, space, faith, and the unexpected ways that hope sometimes appears along the road.

Links:

• In Maine: Alna, Maine, and Rockland, Maine (links direct to Wikipedia, last accessed September 28, 2020)
• Bengaluru, India (formerly Bangalore): 10+ Surprising Facts about Bengaluru, India, last accessed on YouTube on September 28, 2020
• Scott’s poem can be read here: Unimpeded.

Malawi:

• Malawi, a Member Country of the Commonwealth, a voluntary association of 54 independent and equal countries of Africa, Asia, Caribbean and Americas, Europe, and the Pacific. 
• Safe Water for Zuwayomo, shares information about the work being done in a Malawi village. 
• Bridges to Malawi, a non-profit organization with several missions in Malawi, includes some additional information about Malawi on their website. 
• The Honey Industry in Malawi, written by Shelix C Munthali, and published in BeesforDevelopment (Journal 84) 
• Buzz Off: Malawi Communities Scare Away Loggers with Beehives, written March 10, 2020 by Charles Pensulo.  
• PeaceCorps in Malawi: https://www.peacecorps.gov/malawi/ 

HelpGuide, a nonprofit mental health, and wellness website, provides evidence-based information for a broad spectrum of issues, concerns, and circumstances: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/dealing-with-uncertainty.htm

Many thanks to Ministering to Ministers, who produces and supports this podcast.  Please check out the resources available through this fantastic foundation:

Ministering to Ministers
Ministering to Ministers Resources: Forced Termination
Ministering to Ministers: The Problem
Ministering to Ministers Resources: Books
Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats

(all sites last accessed on September 29, 2020)

Music for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request

The world feels populated with billions of expectations, shimmering in the very air around us. The weight of these invisible expectations congeals before us and leave our passage muted with barely a ripple in our wake.  Whether unspoken or shouted aloud, expectations gather around us like meerkats on an anthill, poking heads up and around to see what’s happening, who’s involved, and how we measure up.

 However, there remains a counterweight to the pressure of those crowding expectations.  Sometimes, it takes a moment or two for it to come into focus.

 But it does. 

 And when the counterweight of possibility takes shape in our lives, it remains with us like the warm sunshine on a cold day, warming us with gentle, steadfast presence.

 Links:

 HelpGuide, a nonprofit mental health and wellness website, provides evidence-based information for a broad spectrum of issues, concerns, and circumstances: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/dealing-with-uncertainty.htm

 Interpersonal Communication and Resilience during COVID-19 Chaos, published March 26, 2020 by Maria Ventis, Associate Professor at Purdue (last accessed 09/23/2020) https://cla.purdue.edu/academic/communication/blog/interpersonal-communication-and-resilience-during-covid-19-chaos/

 Many thanks to Ministering to Ministers, who produce and support this podcast.  Please check out the resources available through this fantastic foundation:

Ministering to Ministers

Ministering to Ministers Resources: Forced Termination

Ministering to Ministers: The Problem

Ministering to Ministers Resources: Books

Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats

 Music for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request

Description:

Kathrin sits down with her friend Clarice Dibble to share a conversation about learning, mindfulness, grief, creativity, heartbreak, silence, and resilience. Both Kathrin and Clarice share a special bond: each of their respective spouses have suffered during their vocational work of ministry. 

It’s a special kind of weight to carry the sorrow and pain that our loved one experiences: we wish to defend them, we want to stand guard before them, we want to call out the injustice our loved one has experienced. And yet at times, we must remain silent and swallow the anger, the hurt, and our own pain.

Regardless of the field in which our loved one’s work, we long to support and encourage them in the work they feel called to do. And when that work suddenly ends, it affects spouses as well.  Whether our loved one experienced a "forced termination", "constructive discharge", "constructive dismissal", "wrongful termination", "medical separation", been fired, pensioned off, or dismissed, (oh, there are so many euphemisms!), the pain remains bright and heavy in our midst. Sometimes the terms used to define and describe this experience might become a heavy curtain behind which pain and suffering occur in lonely silence. 

With grace and humor, Clarice helps us peel back the curtain to allow us to see one another – and especially our self - with grace, love, and compassion. 

Links:

“Forced Termination Leaves Deep Scars on Ministers Spouses”, published December 7, 2017 by Charles Chandler, DMin. https://ministeringtoministers.org/2017/12/forced-termination-leaves-deep-scars-on-ministers-spouses/

“10 Things Only Teacher Spouses Understand” by Michael Peyton; published on WeAreTeachers.Com (https://www.weareteachers.com/teacher-spouses/ ) (last accessed 09/08/2020)

Military One Source: Support for Spouses: https://www.militaryonesource.mil/family-relationships/spouse

Operation We Are Here: Get Connected with Military Spouses, Significant Others (and Veteran Spouses, too!): https://www.operationwearehere.com/GetConnected.html

 “Supporting Your Spouse’s Career”, published September 8, 2020, by Janet Kidd Stewart. Accessed on Physicians Practice: https://www.physicianspractice.com/view/supporting-your-spouses-career (last accessed 09/08/2020)

“When Your Spouse Is on the Front Lines” by Molly Olmstead. Published April 8, 2020 in Slate Magazine. https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/04/coronavirus-emergency-room-doctors-nurses-spouses-conversation.html

“Covid-19 Psychological Wellness Guide: Partners of Frontline Healthcare Workers” Version 2, published 04/20/20 through Emory School of Medicine, Atlanta Georgia. https://med.emory.edu/departments/psychiatry/_documents/tips.partnershcw.pdf (last accessed 09/08/2020)

Kathrin’s dog makes an appearance today, expressing canine concern in the midst of a world filled with confusion and stress. But, let’s get real, sometimes companion animals provide the most honest way of asking, “are you okay?”

Sometimes it’s hard to know how to answer that question. We may not realize the standard we hold for our own self. There may be even expectations we unknowingly place on our own self, our own identity, our own experience.

Are We Okay? Are You Okay?

Getting to the core of “are you okay?” takes work. But my dog understands that hard work of being there, being with, and being loved.

Links:

Covid-19: Resilient Educator Toolkit https://resilienteducator.com/covid19/ dedicated to the support of teachers and educators, students, parents, and families.

“Too Many Pastors Are Falling on Their Own Swords”, by Jakob Topper   https://baptistnews.com/article/too-many-pastors-are-falling-on-their-own-swords/ (last accessed 09/08/2020)

“Healthcare Worker Burnout & Self-Care” by Dr. Alisa Burpee, a Seattle-based clinical psychologist. https://www.providence.org/news/uf/625195886 (last accessed 09/08/2020)

HelpGuide, a nonprofit mental health and wellness website, provides evidence-based information for a broad spectrum of issues, concerns, and circumstances: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/dealing-with-uncertainty.htm

National Association of Social Workers provides some good resources & strategies for self-care during the Coronavirus Pandemic: https://www.socialworkers.org/Practice/Infectious-Diseases/Coronavirus/Self-Care-During-the-Coronavirus-Pandemic

Kathrin Gabriel-Jones’ August 13, 2020 presentation at Rockland Public Library, Rockland Maine: “What Does It Mean To Be Okay?”

Many thanks to Ministering to Ministers, who produces and supports this podcast. Please check out the resources available through this fantastic foundation:

    Ministering to Ministers

Ministering to Ministers Resources: Forced Termination

    Ministering to Ministers: The Problem

    Ministering to Ministers Resources: Books

Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats

Music for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request

Kathrin shares a truly delightful conversation about the many patterns and shapes that make up the mosaic of AbbyLynn Haskell: sacred storyteller, pastor, boat captain, and retreat coordinator, a person of faith, explorer of the oceans in the world and within the imagination. With good humor, the gift of story, and a wealth of hard-won wisdom, Abby reminds us that, even as we each grow and change, hope changes as well.

While it might be tempting to say that Abby wears a lot of hats, it might be more fitting to say that Abby allows the light of insight and inspiration to shine through the many windows of her faith and creativity.  It was an absolutely delightful conversation to share, filled with laughter.  I hope you join us.

Links:

AbbyLynn Haskell:

• Broad Reach Ministries: https://broadreachministries.com/
• Acton Congregational Church UCC: https://sites.google.com/site/actonmaineucc/
• Maine School of Ministry:  https://www.maineucc.org/ministries/mesom/#1587758099544-b66ba32b-22e1
• Curious about Sacred Storytelling? https://broadreachministries.com/sacred-storytelling
• Broad Reach Sailing: https://broadreachsailing.us/
• Jonathan Boyd – Tenor: http://jonathanboyd-tenor.com/

Additional links related to AbbyLynn Haskell’s conversation:

• More about the cognitive and biochemical changes of storytelling: Gallo, Carmine. “Stories literally put our brain waves in sync.” Quartz at Work, Last accessed May 12, 2020. https://qz.com/work/1298571/stories-literally-put-our-brain-waves-in-sync/
• “The magical science of storytelling” David JP Phillips; TEDxStockholm: Last accessed May 12, 2020: TEDxStockholm on YouTube

Some supportive resources related to learning disabilities and neurodiversity, including Auditory Processing Disorder, which Abby mentions in this episode: 

• Understood.Org, 
• Learning Disability Association of America (LDA), and 
• Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA).
• Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) 

Here’s a great book about Dyslexia that Abby recommends: The Gift of Dyslexia: Why Some of the Smartest People Can’t Read...and How They Can Learn, by Ronald D. Davis and Eldon M. Braun. As Abby describes it, “this book lifts up the benefits of being blessed with a learning challenge.”

Many thanks to Ministering to Ministers, who

Sometimes events occur in our lives that sweep through, rippling through the foundations of our life like tectonic ruptures, leaving us feeling off-kilter, a little broken. Illness, uncertainty, transition, betrayal, job loss… 

It makes sense that we feel unbalanced when change rolls over us like a storm. We might feel minimized by the events that overwhelm us. 

So...how do we move forward when we feel broken?  

Sometimes we can move forward by standing still. The moon remains implacable in the sky above us as it moves over us during both night and day. And even as, little by little the moon becomes minimized as it traces its path through the sky, so too the moon begins to rebuild a little bit more of itself day by day.  Until the moon once again reclaims its magnificent beautiful self. 

And so, too, will you.

Links:

Covid-19: Resilient Educator Toolkit https://resilienteducator.com/covid19/ dedicated to the support of teachers and educators, students, parents, and families. 

“Too Many Pastors Are Falling on Their Own Swords”, by Jakob Topper                        https://baptistnews.com/article/too-many-pastors-are-falling-on-their-own-swords/

“Healthcare Worker Burnout & Self-Care” by Dr. Alisa Burpee, a Seattle-based clinical psychologist.  https://www.providence.org/news/uf/625195886  (last accessed 

HelpGuide, a nonprofit mental health and wellness website, provides evidence-based information for a broad spectrum of issues, concerns, and circumstances: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/dealing-with-uncertainty.htm

National Association of Social Workers provides some good resources & strategies for self-care during the Coronavirus Pandemic: https://www.socialworkers.org/Practice/Infectious-Diseases/Coronavirus/Self-Care-During-the-Coronavirus-Pandemic

Many thanks to Ministering to Ministers, who produces and supports this podcast.  Please check out the resources available through this fantastic foundation:

Ministering to Ministers

Ministering to Ministers Resources: Forced Termination

Ministering to Ministers: The Problem

Ministering to Ministers Resources: Books

Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats

Music for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request

Kathrin sits down with Pastor Skip to explore the suddenly changed landscape in which we find ourselves during the Covid-19 pandemic days. In this unprecedented time that feels unmoored, unfamiliar, and sometimes unending, we discuss aspects of the world that have become “terribly normal” and how lamentations might support us in these times, the difference between hope and optimism, and Skip reminds us of the ways in which we are all connected.

As always, Pastor Skip recalls the importance of giving voice to our own personal story, giving three important ingredients that can help us in these times of tremendous upheaval and uncertain change. Including Yogi Berra, Carl Dudley, D. Elton Trueblood, the Psalmist, the Chicago Mass Choir, and even the Rolling Stones, Kathrin and Skip’s conversation ranges throughout the wide landscape of this life in this pandemic.

There are some wonderful, supportive resources online. Here are a few:

Psalms of Lament by Amy Weems and Walter Bruggeman. If you’re interested in this book, please consider purchasing this book from a minority owned book seller. Here are a few lists to help you in your search: 

• Condè Nast Traveler: 55 Black Owned Bookstores You Can Shop Online: https://www.cntraveler.com/story/black-owned-bookstores,
• African American Literature Book Club: https://aalbc.com/bookstores/list.php
• Literary Hub: https://lithub.com/you-can-order-today-from-these-black-owned-independent-bookstores/

July 27, 2009 performance of “You Can’t Hurry God” by Chicago Mass Choir

Erin Gravley and her sister, Grace, created a website called i dream of covid, which is dedicated to the collection and sharing of the wide variety of dreams people experience during this unprecedented time. Here’s the NPR interview with the creators.

The Shiyr Poets: How Long (Psalm 13) and On This Troubled Day (Psalm 10)

“A public [person in service], though they necessarily available at many times, must learn to hide. If they are always available, they’re not worth enough when they are available.” D. Elton Trueblood

Here’s a treasure trove of unique wisdom from Yogi Berra.

Check out these two other Pastor Skip Irby conversations on the Friends for the Journey:

• Choosing your second or third response: 

How are you?

Those three words seem so simple, so short, combined in the right order to make a really simple question that should be easy to answer. 

When the world turns upside down, whatever the inflection we use when we ask this question, the longing we feel for one another remains.

In unfamiliar times, when the world turns upside down, we find ourselves in a Waiting Place, a place after what we had known to be but before we feel confident in our life once again. That Waiting Place is a time of not knowing, the place of not yet. 

It is a place that has been with humanity since the beginning. 

Links & Resources: 

There are some wonderful, supportive resources online. Here are a few:

Vox.com: Rabbi David Wolpe explains how to make sense of suffering: https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2020/7/8/21223748/judaism-religion-god-suffering-david-wolpe-future-perfect

HelpGuide, a nonprofit mental health, and wellness website, provides evidence-based information for a broad spectrum of issues, concerns, and circumstances: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/dealing-with-uncertainty.htm

National Association of Social Workers provides some good resources & strategies for self-care during the Coronavirus Pandemic: https://www.socialworkers.org/Practice/Infectious-Diseases/Coronavirus/Self-Care-During-the-Coronavirus-Pandemic

These might be familiar, but worth repeating:

Resources to watch:

Monterey Bay Aquarium 

Live Jelly Cam: https://youtu.be/28cnxCbix0k

Moon Jelly Cam: https://youtu.be/4s1iaXflVcg

Morning MeditOcean: https://youtu.be/4RtVT7Cfgp4

Here are some other resources:

 Ministering to Ministers Resources (Library)

 Ministering to Ministers Wellness Retreats

Music for this episode has been legally purchased from AudioJungle. License available upon request