Friends in Formation

To submit a question for James, Richella, and Nate to consider discussing on Friends in Formation, email [email protected].

In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, Nate, James, and Richella answer listener questions about the difference between spiritual formation and discipleship, transforming negative thoughts, and virtual spiritual interactions and the role of rootedness.

Show Notes

[1:44] What is the difference between spiritual formation and discipleship?

[14:28] Dwight L Moody says "Character is what you are in the dark."  My early morning, just woken up thoughts, are often fearful, negative, and sometimes bitter. Once I focus on, say Psalm 23, The Lord's prayer or some other quiet, spiritual reading or reflection I feel the bubbling bitterness leaving me, and as the day unfolds, I do pray, reflect, and ask Jesus to be with me in all parts of my day. I am worried, however, that the real me is to be found in those first angry thoughts. Can I reach a point where these thoughts don't feature without suppressing them through gritted teeth?

[29:49] We are moving to more and more virtual spiritual interactions. But somehow I think God means us to be rooted in place, location, family, people. How should we as Image-Bearers handle this new challenge?

Resources

• Let Go, by François Fénelon
• The Seeking Heart, by François Fénelon

In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, Richella, Nate, and James answer listener questions about the Streams, moving small groups toward spiritual formation, and building lifelong friendships in this time of loneliness.

Show Notes

[1:47] In December's podcast, James mentioned six different “Streams” of Christian tradition: contemplative, holiness, charismatic, social justice, evangelical and incarnational (sacramental). Could you please talk more about them, both as they relate to the church and to an individual Christ follower? Also, I grew up in a church who used "missional" language. Is this a concept that is related to the 'streams'?

[18:25] I’ve been a pastor for 15 years, and most groups seem to be more curriculum based/Bible study rather than actually focused on formation. Do you have any thoughts about how existing classes or small groups can move toward becoming more focused on spiritual formation or any thoughts on how to change the culture of a church to be more focused on spiritual formation? Is it better to start new groups than trying to change existing groups? Can you share resources related to spiritual formation groups? Do you have information about Renovaré spiritual formation groups?

[31:14] A question I've been wondering about revolves around the topic of friendship. Even before the social distancing of the last couple of years there has been a trend in loneliness. Often, as we grow older and especially as we get further from our school years, it becomes increasingly more difficult to make and build friendships. Are there any practices you would recommend for responding to loneliness and for making and building friendships throughout all of life?

Resources

• Streams of Living Water, by Richard Foster
• The Making of an Ordinary Saint, by Nathan Foster
• Spiritual Formation Workbook, a Renovaré Resource
• Devotional Classics, a Renovaré Resource
• Lyfe, Resources from the Bible Society UK

Want to Suggest a Question?

To submit a question for James, Richella, and Nate to consider discussing on Friends in Formation, email [email protected].
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In this episode, Nate, James, and Richella answer listener questions about reconciling Jesus' “easy yoke” with Paul's “beating his body to make it his slave,” remaining healthy while carrying other’s burdens, and Bishop Desmond Tutu’s “seamless robe” between religion and politics.

[:50] How do you reconcile the gentleness of the easy yoke that Jesus talks about regarding our efforts toward our spiritual formation (Matthew 11:28-30) with the more brutal approach that Paul talks about when he says he "beats his body" ("punish" NRSV) to make it his slave (1 Corinthians 9:27)?

[16:42] What are the practices you engage in to remain healthy in the midst of heavy burdens you're helping carry for others?

[30:06] Bishop Desmond Tutu once said that religion and politics are a seamless robe. I think I agree with him, but I’m really troubled by the way churches and Christians in North America have become so bitterly divided by politics over the past decade or two. How should churches, as well as Christians individually, handle political issues? Should we remain silent on them in order to maintain the unity of the Spirit? Or do we need to lovingly speak out about how our spiritual values should affect our political priorities and then just love each other despite our sometimes major differences? If it’s the latter, I’d appreciate any advice you can give on doing that, as it’s especially hard now that both sides equally fear that our country’s entire future is at stake. 

Resources

• Renovation of the Heart, by Dallas Willard (chapter 9)
• The Journal of John Woolman, edited by Phillips P. Moulton
• Streams of Living Water, by Richard Foster
• Weight of Glory, by C.S. Lewis
• Culture Care, by Makoto Fujimura

Want to Suggest a Question?

To submit a question for James, Richella, and Nate to consider discussing on Friends in Formation, email [email protected].

Show Notes

In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, Nate, Richella, and James answer listener questions about practices to help keep centered on Christ with a busy schedule, returning to church when you are not feeling loved there, and the struggle of judging family members.

[1:21] I am an older student attending junior college and working at the school newspaper part time. I find it a struggle to keep up a rhythm of life because so much of my schedule is dictated by what my professors assign or the chaotic nature of working at a newspaper. In this arena the unexpected is common. What types of practices would you suggest to help me keep centered on Christ?

[15:58] My question wants to be: Why are church people so unloving… so rigid in being right that they fail to love people in such sad places? And why should I go back to church now, if that’s what I’m going to face?

[27:34] God has made me aware of my judgmental attitude towards my family members. How can I grow in this area and not only keep my comments and advice to myself, but also let go of that judgement which is in my heart?

Resources

• Life Without Lack, by Dallas Willard
• An Unhurried Life: Follow Jesus’ Rhythms of Work and Rest, by Alan Fadling
• The Journal of John Woolman, edited by Phillips P. Moulton

In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, Richella, Nate, and James answer listener questions about losing faith, contentment, and where to start with spiritual practices.

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[1:25] The three of you have been addressing questions/concerns from parents who are grieving at the waning faith of the children they so lovingly raised. I'm writing as the 22-year old son of two God-fearing parents. To put it try to put it concisely, here is my question: I barely know a life outside of church & a personal relationship with Jesus. All through high school and college I gave a lot of my life to serving ministries. But now that my faith is slipping away, I feel like not only a square peg in a round hole at church, but having lost a sense of mission/purpose, I also feel like a square peg in a round hole in the world. Losing faith has been doubly alienating. What advice do you have for someone who grew up in the church and is now losing faith? When I'm in a circle praying at Bible study, I ask myself, "what am I even doing here?" I want my conviction-driven life back, but I don't know how.... and it's just so hard.

[13:52] Paul says in Phil 4:12-13 that he has learned to be content through the strength of Christ. I lack contentment big time. I've looked for discussions of how to learn contentment but not found any that are not simplistic. Would you please speak to how one can learn contentment? 

[28:17] I work with college students who are just beginning to become aware of their internal lives and engage in the spiritual rhythms. My question is: How do you begin to introduce spiritual practices to people who have little experience in engaging with their inner lives?

Resources

• Everything Happens for a Reason, by Kate Bowler
• A Spiritual Formation Workbook, by James Bryan Smith and Linda Graybeal
• Lyfe, resources from the British Bible Society
• Starting Your Spiritual Journey, Videos on the Streams by Joe Davis
• The Making of an Ordinary Saint, by Nathan Foster

Want to Suggest a Question?

To submit a question for James, Richella, and Nate to consider discussing on Friends in Formation, email [email protected].

In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, James, Richella, and Nate answer listener questions about women in ministry and gender roles, the Trinity, and Spiritual Direction.

Show Notes

[3:40] We've got several questions about women in ministry, question about gender roles, and different hurdles that women like a young mother might face for different spiritual practices.

[19:08] A couple of listeners have asked questions focusing on communicating with the Trinity when having inner dialogue with God, the Father, Jesus, the Eternal Son, and the Holy Spirit and who to address, who to pray to and why.

[33:14] Many people ask us about Spiritual Direction. Would a Spiritual Director be helpful to me to draw closer to the heart of God or would this be one more interesting diversion from personally hearing from God? How do we think about Spiritual Direction in community? Should I find a Spiritual Director rather than a mentor?

Resources

• Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly
• The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth by Beth Allison Barr
• Worship, Community, and the Triune God of Grace by James B. Torrance
• Life in the Trinity by Donald Fairbairn
• The God Revealed in Jesus Christ: An Introduction to Trinitarian Theology published by Grace Communion International
• The Great Dance: The Christian Vision Revisited by C. Baxter Kruger
• Mythical Me by Richella J. Parham

In this episode, Richella, Nate, and James address honest listener questions about treasures and issues of the heart, issues with the Church, and how to have healthy accountability without it becoming rigid and legalistic.

1. [1:48] What did Jesus mean when he said store up for yourself treasures in heaven? And in a practical sense how do I store up treasure in heaven?
2. [15:00] Here we address several related questions regarding turmoil in the church, that the church feels difficult for a lot of people, and the pain of adult children leaving the church.
3. [29:16] Would you address the issue of accountability - resources seem to recommend a list of questions to ask each other, but that seems formulaic and potentially legalistic. Is accountability best done in a group or 1:1? Do you have any ideas for us to get started with?

Resources Mentioned

• Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy
• Dallas Willard, Knowing Christ Today (Chapter 8: Pastors as Teachers of the Nations)
• James Bryan Smith with Lynda, A Spiritual Formation Workbook
• Cindy Bunch, Be Kind to Yourself
• John Wesley: Accountability Questions
• Song: Brethren We have Met to Worship
• Renovaré Podcasts with Paul Patton
  • We All Have Secrets
  • Leading the Dance with Pop Culture
  • Story & the Importance of Memorization

In this episode, Richella, Nate, and James discuss honest listener questions regarding silence and solitude, Sabbath, and adult children walking away from the church.

1. [1:00] Why do some people find the practice of silence and solitude so hard, and not letting the distractions of the day interrupt a time of listening for God's voice?
2. [14:15] In seeking and walking out apprenticeship, I’ve found it difficult to Sabbath well. How can you observe Sabbath well when you have little kids?
3. [26:50] Going back to a previous conversation regarding the church, how do I handle my adult children walking away from church?

Resources Mentioned

• Henry Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son
• Smith and Graybeal, A Spiritual Formation Workbook
• James Bryan Smith, Embracing the Love of God
• Dallas Willard, Life Without Lack
• James Fowler, Stages of Faith
• Song: Can You Count the Stars

Have a question for us to consider? Email [email protected].

In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, James, Richella, and Nate discuss honest listener questions about growing in humility, being disappointed with God, and feeling like a square peg in a round hole at church.

1. [3:12] What disciplines are helpful for growing humility, other than service? Also how do you define humility?
2. [14:25] If I’m honest, I don’t think God has done well by me.
3. [28:12] I feel like a square peg in a round hole when attending church. How widespread is spiritual abuse and what are its dangers?

Resources Mentioned

• Richella Parham, Mythical Me: Finding Freedom from Constant Comparison
• K.J. Ramsey, This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers
• C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy

Have a question for us to consider? Email [email protected].

In this month’s episode of Friends in Formation, James, Richella, and Nate discuss different ways to read the Bible (big chunks, small bites, meditating, memorizing, and changing it up), what to do with tricky texts in Scripture, and how to spot spiritual abuse.

1. [:53] How do you approach Bible reading?
2. [16:28] How do you handle tricky sections of Scripture?
3. [30:20] How widespread is spiritual abuse and what are its dangers?

Resources Mentioned

• Life with God Bible
• Wesleyan Quadrilateral
• The Bible Project
• Hard Sayings of the Bible Series, Intervarsity Press
• F.F. Bruce, Hard Sayings of Jesus
• Nick Page, The Badly Behaved Bible
• Renovaré Podcast Episode: Luci Shaw – On Poetry, Creativity, and Madeleine L’Engle
• Richard Foster, The Challenge of the Disciplined Life
• Lisa Oakley and Justin Humphries, Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse: Creating Healthy Christian Cultures
• Wade Mullen

Have a question for us to consider? Email [email protected].