Friendshipable

From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya riff on the concept of a friendship recession--the "slow then sudden creep of people self-reporting that they have no close friends."

We learned that 15% of American men and 10% of women reported having no friends.

We talk about the factors that have led to the decline, as discussed by Kimberley Wilson,  including increase in people moving to search for work or the challenges of a dicey urban rental market and the increased cost of living.

There are factors outside of our control, of course. But there are things we can control when it comes to friendships, like re-galvanizing old friendships, investing time to build new ones, and remembering that making friends takes time.

Resources:
Are You Experiencing a Friendship Recession? by Claudia Canavan in Women's Health Magazine
American Men Suffer a Friendship Recession,  by Daniel A. Cox,  Survey Center of American Life
Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review, in PLOS Medicine

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya riff on how our friendships change. As kids, we are thrown together at school, and in other ways that mean our friends are an intimate part of our daily lives for most of us. As we get older, and especially as we move on after school, the nature of our friendships can change.

Factors that influence our friendships in adulthood include life stages and tasks (like finding a career or having kids).  We also tend to be so busy that many of us focus on maintaining friends versus specifically making new friends.  And as adults, we are much more likely to have friends in different age groups, which can be an interesting way to learn new things and for some of us, get out of our comfort zone

Article we reference:
3 things about friendships that change as you get older, by Art Markman on FastCompany.com

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

From Project  BFF HQ Terri + Manya riff on the topic of why we have friends in our lives and how friendships of all types--short or long--bring us value.

Have you ever heard the saying that we have friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime*? We chat about this is a framework for thinking about our friend relationships.

• Reason. This is when a short-lived relationship brings you a benefit or helps you.
• Season. This is when a relationship accompanies you through a certain period of your life and eventually ends.
• Lifetime. This is when a relationship lasts a lifetime.

What Are Friends For? A Reason, Season, or Lifetime, Pychcentral

 *This is sometimes attributed to Brian A. "Drew" Chalker and sometimes to Eleanor Roosevelt.

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

From Project BFF HQ Terri + Manya riff on the dear friends of our dear friends.

How and why they are special to us (spoiler alert: because they matter to our friends), how to get to know them better, and what to do if you are feeling jealous of their relationship.

Shout out to all our friends' friends, even if we haven't met yet!

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

From Project BFF HQ Terri + Manya riff on the concept of best friends.

What is a best friend? Can you have more than one?

It turns out that the concept of best friends is really pretty new and we probably don't all mean the same thing when we call someone our best friend. For some it may mean a singular relationship that has risen above all others. For other people, it is a term the describes a level of closeness.

'Best Friends’ Are a Surprisingly Recent Phenomenon, Jaya Saxena in th Atlantic
The Friendship Report, by Snapchat
Best Friend, Urban Dictionary

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya chatted with friendship expert Shasta Nelson on all things friendship.

We had so much fun talking about how friends support us, why it matters that we build healthy relationships, and how friendship is a necessity, not just a nice to have for our health and happiness (there is a study that shows that 70% of our happiness comes from our relationships).

It is common to struggle with friendships, not everyone had these kinds of relationships modeled for them, but it is something we all deserve and a skill we can all learn.

Shasta Nelson, a friendship expert, is a leading voice on loneliness and creating healthy relationships. Whether she’s speaking at conferences or on TEDx stages, giving media interviews to outlets such as The New York Times and The Washington Post, or appearing as a guest on The Harvard Business Review podcast or The Steve Harvey Show, she is constantly teaching all of us how to create healthier and more fulfilling relationships in our lives. 

Shasta's books

• Friendships Don’t Just Happen! teaches us how to make new friends as adults
• Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness teaches us how to make our relationships more meaningful and healthy
• The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of the Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time teaches us why we need to foster better relationships in our jobs.

ShastaNelson.com 

Follow Shasta on social media:
Facebook
LinkedIn
Twitter
Instagram
YouTube

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

We'll be back with new episodes on January 6. Please enjoy this favorite episode from Season 2 in 2022.

It is human to be aggressive, no matter the gender, but that doesn't mean it's any fun to be on the receiving end of that aggression. This can come from friends, friends of friends, and colleagues. The aim of the person doing the bullying is to make someone look bad. That can take the form of cyberbullying, gossiping, intimidation, or ostracizing.  We also talk about some workplace bullying that we've been on the receiving end of.

"The same attributes that allow girls to be socially intelligent also allow them to be aggressive. They are drawing from the same skill set." - Rachel Simmons

Sometimes these bullying experiences happen in front of others, who may themselves be afraid to step up out of fear of becoming the next victim. 

Some ways to deal, though it does not always feel simple. The key is to recognize what you cannot control in the encounter.

• Pretend you didn't hear: Excuse me, can you repeat that?
• Ask for clarification: I don't understand, what do you mean?
• Walk away and disengage
• Keep responses polite, while standing up for yourself.

Resources we discuss:
When the ‘mean girl’ is a woman: How to deal with an adult bully, By Cathy Alter
How to Deal With Mean Girls in Adulthood, by  Sherri Gordon
Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, by Rachel Simmons

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

We'll be back with new episodes on January 6. Please enjoy this favorite episode from Season 1 in 2021.

From Project BFF HQ, Terri and Manya riff about what it means to be a friend.

Have we ever actually defined what a friend is?  What does it mean to have a friendship? What are the qualities or characteristics or connections that turn a relationship into a friendship? What are some of the commonalities out to being a friend?

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

We'll be back with new episodes on January 6. Please enjoy this favorite episode from Season 1 in 2021.

From Project BFF HQ, Terri and Manya talk about how sometimes we may be a bad friend. (Not a bad art friend, just a regular bad friend?)

Are you a pretty good friend if you are thinking "Is what I'm doing making me a bad friend"? What to do with the fear that you've done something wrong as a friend? How the pandemic has revealed how important friendships are and enabled us to have more grace towards our friends (and towards ourselves in our friendships).  Each of us is so many things to so many different people and the big picture is that we are all trying.

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]

From Project BFF HQ, Terri + Manya talk with Pascale Cook-Fernandes of Women Finding Clarity about women, friendship, and how the three of us met.

We talk about the nuances of friendships and how these relationships require compassion, understanding, forgiveness, love, and gratitude. And how Pascale thinks of friendships (and all relationships) as energy

Pascale, who is also host of The Happiness Workshop podcast, supports married women with the tools and strategies she discovered and learned along her journey to rediscover who THEY are, so they can rebuild a strong foundation for connection. Join us as we discuss

Women Finding Clarity
The Happiness Workshop

#BeAFriend  

*****
Thank you for listening.

After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to shut down Project BFF and the podcast. Our last podcast episode aired on August 23, 2024. We are leaving the podcast live on Buzzsprout through the end of 2024.

We are proud of this podcast and honored to have hosted such amazing and engaging guests.

Our hope is that Project BFF and Friendshipable have inspired you to form new friendships, strengthen existing ones, and encourage others to do the same

Thank you for being a part of our story. The two of us have truly deepened our friendship during this time, and we look forward to new and memorable adventures together in and around New England, which serves as the adopted home for both of us.

With gratitude and friendship,
Manya and Terri

To contact us, you can email Manya at [email protected]