Step one of Alcoholics Anonymous reads "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." The first part of this step for me is acknowledging/recognizing that I have a problem and then admitting it. I need to finally be honest with myself and see that my behavior is the cause of most of my problems. I need to look at the manageability and admit it exists and that I'm the one who is bringing it into my life. From there I then need to be open-minded to finding a solution and willing to do and action the solution requires.

In today's episode I refer back to my time first getting clean and sober as well as how I am applying this to other areas of my life where I recognize my behavior is something I want to change. In this latest case I am willing to admit I have a diet problem, I don't eat a diet of food that is always healthy for me and I'm ready to work the solution to change it for good. I begin with the first step and look at my behavior as I write it out.

The 12 Steps of AA are for me a method to change all the behaviors and habits in my life that I know are not serving me. I continue to use them to create effective change and improve myself, my life and the lives of those around me. Today is a beginning and that starts with awareness and looking to do something different to break the cycle.

Gratitude was the first principle I was taught by a sponsor I had in the program of AA when I was just first clean and sober. By performing the act of writing down 5 things to be grateful every day I learned very quickly how to begin to see things differently; in other words I was beginning to change my thinking.

Buddha teaches that there are root causes for all things. Everything exists to ones mind and how it exists is based, in part, by root causes. This lesson has taught me to take my self reflection to deeper levels. This has served me in a way that I can now see the emotional state that my behaviors are born out of. I can look at these states and see that a craving or the desire to act a certain way is simply because I'm feeling a negative emotion.

Today's episode begins talking about my realization with root causes but this is just the beginning as I better understand it for myself and find better ways to explain it.

In Alcoholics Anonymous the steps number 6 & 7 are about addressing my shortcomings. Recently I have been working on the shortcoming I have of substitution. This is where I will have a habit or behavior that isn't serving me very well but I use it to avoid the root of the problem that I don't want to face. I usually justify it to myself that it's not as bad as what I used to do which was drink and use drugs.

I've grown up enough now to face this and make changes so today's episode I begin talking about living with a better diet. I also admit where I've been wrong and talk about how I'm doing something about it. The key is that I'm doing something different.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. - Einstein

I've learned my lesson so now I do different things and only use the ones over and over that have proven successful; that being the 12 steps of AA and wisdom of the Buddha.

It has been a while since I last recorded an episode and that is because I needed to grow some more into this new phase of my life. I'm so grateful for this opportunity. This project has been of great value to me and I just want it to be of value to others as well. With that intention I needed to just take some time to figure out where we're really going with this and to accept that I am qualified to be the person to do it.

Thank you everyone who is listening and has listened and will listen. Also thank you to everyone that is supportive when I need it.

In AA Letting Go is talked about a lot. It's a key element and is what steps 4 and 5 are all about beginning to learn to deal with ones alcoholism. I know for myself that the first morning I woke up and realized that I had truly learned what letting go meant and how I felt after I had let go of some to the past that my life really began to get easier. At least I wasn't held down by some of my past and that just made it easier to continue working on my own personal growth.

The 12th step of Alcoholics Anonymous teaches me to recognize the change in myself, they call it a spiritual awakening. I call it learning to stop being selfish. The 12th step also teaches me to be giving of myself and when I do I will find it helps me to find genuine happiness and reward. It's often taught as a way for someone to get out of their own head when it can be filled with their own problems and help someone else. The result is your own problems seem to lessen even if it's only cause your not spending so much time focused on them. And the last thing the 12th step teaches to to continue to "practice" the principles I've learned.

Well I've been clean and sober for over two decades and I'm pretty happy most of the time and it's cause of what I've learned but more importantly it's been cause I apply that knowledge in my life.

Today I share a story about an event that I attended. The result of which had me think a lot more about genuine happiness, the kind that is from the inside out. It made me think a lot about the store bought happiness I chased growing up, the kind that is about material things, stuff from the outside in.

Short episode today as my oldest daughter is with me. Together we talk a little bit about gratitude and applying it as we both grew up. Today we realize that for both of us gratitude is not something we "practice" but is actually a part of our character.

Thank you.