The Spaghetti Wall

From Dumping to Dialogue: Sharing Trauma Without Drowning Your Relationship


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In this conversation, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Thaen Saelee, PsyD, unpack what trauma dumping really is—how attachment wounds, a need for control, and nervous-system flooding can turn honest vulnerability into overwhelm. They map the hidden costs in relationships (burnout, resentment, and the partner-as-therapist trap) and then get practical: 10-second permission check-ins (“Are you in a place to listen?”), pacing heavy stories (“one piece today”), listener I-statements when capacity is tapped, and boundaries that protect closeness without feeling like rejection. With relatable stories, gentle humor (goodbye, emotional EMT), and scripts you can use tonight, this episode shows how to turn the firehose into a faucet—keeping connection and calm.

Hosts: Jason Wilcox, LCSW & Dr. Thaen Saelee, PsyD. Educational only; not a substitute for therapy.

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The Spaghetti WallBy Avid Counseling Services