From Grandma, with Shade

My grandmother's story comes to its conclusion…and my family has a somewhat abnormal reaction…normal for us, but not “normal”. 

My grandmother had an unusual relationship with the truth - preferring to unrelentingly see things the way she wanted them to be. It was somewhere between “fake it, 'til you make it” and delusion. Turns out this might have been a hereditary quality…

Growing up in the suburbs with parents who would not allow you to drive, meant you either mooched rides from family, or you took the bus. Well, my grandmother used to pick me up at very odd hours and at somewhat unusual places…for a grandma. But getting in the car with her was always risky…

I was a “flamboyant” child. 

As a teenager, I shared my biggest secret with my grandma. Her immediate reaction, while not positive, was relatively neutral. Her slightly longer-term reaction was…interesting.

As a teenager whose parents were a little bit on the uptight side, my grandmother regularly covered for me so that I could engage in what most would consider normal teenage behavior…including this one particular night when I was 18. 

My grandmother often offended me and the rest of my family. She seemed to get some satisfaction from it. This episode shares tales of some of my grandmother’s most offensive moments and our horrified reactions. Remember, I warned you all along that she was problematic, and I meant it. 

My grandmother seemed to enjoy giving gifts. Even though her gifts were usually pointed criticisms wrapped in a bow, at least she never got me a waterbed.

This episode may start with a bang, but don’t worry, grandma doesn’t die…well, not yet at least. Things are about to take a turn…for the sexy.

This first episode provides an introduction to my family, me and, most notably, my grandmother. It also tells the story of the time that my grandma…well…killed a man.