October 31, 2025

From Hostage Negotiation To Lifesaving Conversations

27 minutes

What would you say if someone you love hinted they might not want to stay? We sit down with Sue Williams—former head of the Hostage and Kidnap Units at Scotland Yard—who brings 35 years of crisis negotiation to a question many of us fear: how do you talk about suicide with care, courage, and clarity?

Sue breaks down the essentials with a precision that feels human, not clinical. We explore how to prepare when time allows, from choosing a calm setting to mapping likely replies and gathering support contacts before you need them. You’ll learn the do’s—gentle I statements, open questions, reflective listening—and the vital don’ts that shatter trust, like minimising pain, rushing to fix, or saying I know how you feel. We unpack why meaning lives in how words are received, not what we intend, and how tone, pace, and authenticity can steady a conversation at the edge.

The heart of the episode is a vivid rooftop story at dawn: a man ready to jump, a negotiator keeping distance and focus, and a sunrise over London’s rooftops that opens a quiet doorway back to safety. It’s a reminder that presence often matters more than perfect phrasing, and that empathy—used to build real emotional connection—can shift someone from despair toward the next small step. We talk about scanning for triggers, reinforcing positive anchors, validating their reality without judgment, and treating trust like glass: once cracked, never quite the same.

If you’ve been looking for practical language, confidence to ask direct questions, and a way to be there without trying to fix everything, this conversation offers tools you can use today. Subscribe, share with someone who might need it, and leave a review telling us which insight you’ll keep at the ready for when it matters most.

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