At the beginning of my career, I was a hospital chaplain.  One of my tasks was to help people accept what was going on... to accept the diagnosis, the outcome of an accident or tragedy, to accept the changes.  Interestingly, many times, it seemed that those wanting the person to "accept" were really looking for resignation.  Kind of giving up.

I think our understanding of acceptance has expanded since then.  But that doesn't make it any easier.

You see, we all want some "alternate reality," some different space where things didn't, aren't, or won't happen.  Where we get to choose to undo/redo, or not do what we don't like.  The alternate reality where things happened or happen or will happen differently.

Except they don't.  They happened as they did.  They are happening as they are.  And they will happen as they will.

Yes, we have some control about what we do in this moment, and what we will do to move toward the next.  But not enough to create our alternate reality where we get to choose everything (we do get to choose our own response, though).

There are 3 "If's" we play out in our mind.  One shift matters, if we want to thrive.  The shift to "Is."

I unpack what that is about and talk about how we can make the shift in this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES

Dealing with Grief

When to Act, How to Accept

Is the Present Perfect?

Book:  The Thrive Principles