What happens when you stop defaulting to “the script” and follow your real desires—even if they lead you from monogamy to ENM… and then to celibacy?

Writer and desire-explorer Jay House joins Gwyn for a candid, nuanced journey through identity, intimacy, and integrity. Jay traces her path from straight, monogamous marriage to embracing polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and kink—and why she’s now in a six-month celibacy container to cultivate emotional and nervous-system sobriety. Together they unpack non-romantic but deeply intimate spiritual partnerships, how clear boundaries can make kink non-sexual, and why integration (not more courses) is the missing step in real growth.

You’ll hear about:

Getting honest about desire and letting labels evolve over time

Redefining connection: intimate spiritual partnerships beyond “friends” or “lovers”

Jay’s celibacy experiment: rules, edge cases, and staying accountable

Integration > accumulation: applying BDSM, shamanic kink, and tantra learnings to real life

Knowing your parts (hello, Cranky Baby) for clearer communication and healthier relationships

Connect with Jay:

Substack: https://futuristphilospher.substack.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jaylamarhouse

Resources mentioned:

Mama Gena: https://mamagenas.com/

Kasia Urbaniak: https://www.kasiaurbaniak.com/

Shamanic Kink: https://www.shamanickink.com/

Barbara Carrellas’ Urban Tantra Professionals Training: https://barbaracarrellas.com/

Om Rupani: https://www.omrupani.com/

The Five Personality Types (Stephen Kessler): https://the5personalitypatterns.com/

If you’re rethinking relationship defaults—and craving more sovereignty, clarity, and joy—this episode is a loving nudge to design intimacy on your terms.