In this episode, Jennifer Beitz, Bhavana BP, and I chat about inner resilience throughout the various decades of our lives. I mention my experience through the adventure of being asked to be a contributing author of the compilation book, "Menopause Mavens - Master the Mystery of Menopause". There are some helpful stories and great tips in that book, some of the authors are health coaches.

This is the episode where Steena Marie and I talk about the importance of building a relationship with people, before having a sales conversation. Steena shares great tips on becoming memorable as well as likeable in the minds of others. Have you ever been turned off by someone who reaches out to connect, for example on LinkedIn? As soon as you connect they send you a blurb that gives their title and what they sell. 

Marketing is no longer about sales it’s about being of service, it’s about Relationship Marketing. It’s not what you sell, it’s WHO you sell that matters. For centuries retailers sold what the customer ‘needed’ like food, coats, livestock, and so on. Today, most of us can buy what we want in 20 colors so the retailer must change their occasional customers into friends, fans, and most importantly referral sources in order for their business to not only survive but thrive.

Authentic Relationship Marketing is about letting people know who you are, your authentic story, and your unique message. They want to know what you stand for... your POV (Point of View). I'm sure you'll enjoy this episode as well.

In this episode Steena Marie, my cohort in crime, discussed the reality of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee and how a pirate's treasure is a sunken chest.  We also talked about creating a container of trust for our partners. She especially liked the poem that my 2nd husband Terry wrote for me and read at our blessing ceremony. Terry Earthwind Nichols and I had been in 33 year starter marriages before we came together...

I See You Standing There In The Light of My Soul

I see you,

I see you there,

I see you there standing in the light of my Soul.

I see your eyes watching me as I manage composure.

I see your lips pursed for my kiss.

I see your fingers reaching out across your leg as if to touch me.

I see your breath first hasten, then going faster… going faster.

Can you be the one? Can you really be the one?

Can I touch your brow with hands frozen in anxiety?

Can there really be a one? Can she be mine?

Can there be a love so complete that I am finally a man?

Be true my heart for I am but mortal and cannot see through the silkiness of her heart into the Soul for which I long to be.

Her eyes are magical for they bring me to her without even a glance.

She purses her lips again at me and my heart leaps for the joy that will be.

I see you,

I see you in the light of my Soul…

~Earthwind

In this episode, Steena Marie and I chat about transformation. In our lifetime, we will meet others who are however many steps behind us in their journey. It's a real blessing to be able to hold space for them and offer support. We all need someone who is willing to walk beside us. Not somebody who is running in front of us, jerking our collar with a leash and saying, "Come on, come on, let's go!" 

Who can process that much transformation all at once anyways?

It's important to hold safe space for others, giving them time and space to process. Steena shares a very touching story of how she did that for one of her friends whose boyfriend had died when they were in high school. 

We live in a world where women are becoming more disillusioned with marriage and that sort of picture perfect thing. The pure statistics of marriage is that 60% of marriages will end in divorce. So you have a decent chance that that's going to end up being you or it's going to end up being someone really close to you. Learning how to support each other through all of the complexities of divorce, like having kids with an Ex then moving into a new relationship and building the new relationship, these are things that our mothers never had to do if they never went through a divorced.

We can't really go to them and ask them how they did it or get the support we really need. That's been the key in my relationship with Steena Marie. She had someone who had walked that path. When she came to me in struggle, I didn't just say "get a divorce". I helped her dig deeper because I know the importance of doing the deeper work.

Our emotions aren't right or wrong and neither are our choices. It's important to walk at the level of your Soul so that your choices are in alignment with you. This will allow you to feel empowered in your emotions, rather than feeling like your emotions are running the show.

In this episode Steena Marie and I talked about the abuse of resentment. She referred to a journal letter I had written to my first husband at a marriage retreat. Here's the passage she read from my memoir. "We feel the abuse of your resentment for meeting others needs, before your own." Steena thought that was powerful and mentioned how it goes both ways. Like, if you aren't meeting your own needs, you're gonna resent other people, and they're gonna feel it. Her conclusion was please, go meet your own needs. Say what you need and go get it because people don't want your resentment.  Then she read a little bit more from that letter, "I love to meet your needs, yet I often feel frustrated because I don't always know what they are. When you open that door just a crack, I cling to what little pieces of information I can get. I at least try to meet your needs using my creativity, which sadly enough probably doesn't meet your needs at all. I feel we get caught in a vicious cycle of not meeting each other's needs or feeling we have and then being shocked that we haven't." Steena mentioned that she felt what I had written was spot on, and how it highlighted the misery and disillusionment of the cycle and feeling of trying everything you can imagine in order to make someone else happy. She also mentioned how it doesn't work if the communication isn't there.

In this episode, Steena Marie and I discuss the importance of saving things you have written in the past. You never again feel the way you did when you wrote them. So when you're in it, it feels like a bleeding heart. When you look back you see how hopeful you were, the struggle between wanting to be optimistic and wanting to see the best in everyone while attempting to make the most of your situation. 

Once we get to 'enough is enough, and I'm done being optimistic about this situation or ef this I'm done' we can look back and see how much effort we put into a relationship in order to make it right. We concluded that we are both complex women, and yet simple things give us great joy. 

Steena really enjoyed this particular line from my memoir: "I may be a complicated person, but I really want very simple things."

Steena Marie just finished reading my memoir, my 20th book that was published in 2020. She only cried 5 times while reading the book. Steena is my biz bestie and best friend. We talk 2-3 times a day. Some days she talks to me more than her own partner. As she was reading, Steena was actually finding stories she didn't know about me. She saw similarities between both of our first marriages and how we needed to do so much processing before bringing things to our partners, rather than processing with them. We were constantly doing our best, not to trigger our spouses.

The 3 Stages of the Female Psyche isn’t narrowed down to just women. Both sexes run feminine as well as masculine energy and have a female and male psyche. In this episode, I talk about the human journey and the stages we end up dancing upon. Stage 1 - where we meet. The Predator, Stage 2 - where we don’t own our shit and blame others. Stage 3 - where we are The BITCH (Being in Total Control of Herself/Himself speaking her/his truth from love and authenticity). In order to understand where we come from, we can take a peek at out of body experiences like the one my client had. Have a listen as Jennifer Beitz interviews me in this very insightful episode.

Sales is about talking to people and making friends. We sell to our kids everyday. We even sell to our friends. When was the last time you told a friend about a great movie you know they’d love to see or a book they’d love to read. Telling them the outcome of why they’d enjoy your recommendation reinforces that you really do know them. Have a listen as I fill Jennifer Beitz in on the fact that sales isn’t sleazy, it’s just a conversation.