Are we as parents living our lives in such a way that God is easily forgettable to our children who are watching?  Is our walk with Christ actually seen as important in the eyes of our children?

It's always entertaining to watch videos of children being interviewed about their life and what's important. Whether they are talking about their mom and dad, or what they think about God or their home or their school, you'll always find a similar theme. Children are brutally honest about what they observe. Our children pick up on everything that they see and hear. Want to know where most of their bad habits come from? WE usually don't need to look any further than ourselves!

So what are we passing on to our children when it concerns our faith in Jesus Christ? What are they observing in us?

When Moses gave his farewell speech to the children of Israel as they were preparing to enter the Promised Land, he warned them,

"Beware lest you forget Yahweh your God by not keeping His commandments and His judgments and His statutes which I am commanding you today . . . lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand made me this wealth.’ But you shall remember Yahweh your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth, that He may confirm His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day." - Deuteronomy 8:11, 17-18

This is the generation that were children when their parents were brought out of Egypt. They had seen all of God's mighty deeds in Egypt and they had seen all of the consequences of their parents in disobeying the Lord in the wilderness, as they wandered for 40 years.

Joshua gives a similar warning before his death, and it comes in Judges that after him and all of this generation who had entered the primised land died, that "there arose another generation after them who did not know Yahweh or even the work which He had done for Israel." - Judges 2:10b

What happened that this new generation did not know the Lord? Their parents had faithfully served the Lord. They were brave enough to enter and conquer the Promised Land, and yet their children seem to know nothing about the God who brought them there in the first place. How was it that their children did not know the Lord or the work that He had done?

Somehow, in the midst of the comforts that their parents had obtained, they failed to pass along to their children knowledge of the One who had provided such comforts. It's easy for us that once we've achieved something that we easily forget what got us there in the first place. We're a lot like this too are we not? It's easy for us to remember to cry out to God when our family is in need, but when we have all that we need, how quickly do we forget to stop and remember and thank the One who provided for us?

If we become complacent in our own walk with he Lord as parents, we should not be surprised to find that our children too are complacent about following God. Can we reasonably expect our children to remain in the church as adults if we as families are attending church a couple times a month at best, and maybe attending a weekly Bible study if we're really dedicated? To the outside observer, does our life really reflect a need for God? What about to our children, who are seeing all that we say and do?

Join us in this week's episode as we talk about what it takes for a generation to pass on the promises of God.

And enjoy this song from the Getty's that our family has enjoyed about Passing the Promise

How do you determine what’s important for your family?

Voices are constantly screaming for our attention and trying to tell us what family ought to look like. The right house, the right car, the right number of kids, smart kids who perform well in sports and academics, etc. Sometimes, it can feel impossible to measure up and many families end up finding themselves with the children raised and gone, only to have missed what was truly important. they may find themselves asking the question, "what was I chasing after in the first place?"

As parents, one of the most critical things we can to is to discern what is important for our family. And if we're not actively making those decision and choosing to live into them, we'll find that the world is ready to jump in there and make them for us. It's not enough for us to make assumptions when it comes to deciding what's important for our families, it takes proactive thinking and living to shape what actually becomes important for our families.

This week, we;re diving into some of the things that we've found to be most important for our family, how those decisions came about, and what we're doing to try and live into what's important on a daily basis.

We encourage you as a parents to sit down individually and think through some of these things, and then come together to discuss them and see what you find to be important for your family. Are you both on the same page? Is what you thin to be important acually being lived out on a daily basis, or is it stuck in the land theoretical?

We have a little resource for your family that may help aid you in the process of figuring out what's important for your family. It's called "A Family Rule of Life." Check it out below:

A Family Rule of Life

Have you ever wondered why God has created us in families? What's the purpose of family? Is it simply to keep the human race going or is there something more than that?

This week, we're journeying through God's word to see what He has in mind for family. What is the origin of family, how is God working through family, God coming down and entering into family, and us becoming a part of God's family.

Bear with us on this one, because we have some very practical applications that come from this!

If we don't understand the purpose of family, and then specifically our own individual families, it can be difficult to have direction as a family. But God calls us to so much more than just functioning from day to day. He wants our family on mission, living out His image, reflecting His unconditional love, ministering His reconciliation, and growing into the family He has made us to be in His Kingdom.

In a world that is so fixated on performance and achievements, this changes everything in how we live and love and function as parents. It's not about what our family looks like, how "Successful" it is, how great our children's academic and career performances are, but it's about a love that can never be broken. It's about a relationship of father to son, mother to daughter, etc., that can never be undone, just as the love of God the Father for His beloved Son can never be shaken.

What happens when urgency takes over what's important in our lives?

What happens when we set aside the long term picture for the short term obstacles?

2020 was a unique season for everyone, but what can we learn from it as families? When the world is seeking to protect itself from the things that are perceived as scary, urgent, dire, what are to whom are we to turn to? And what does that communicate to our children when things are tough?

For our family, we watched as the world called families to live in a space of fear rather than hope that we have in Christ. We watched as churches closed their doors for the sake of physical safety to the detriment of spiritual security in the One who has given us eternal life. Lives were stopped in the name of preservation, rather than surrendered to the Lord as "living sacrifices" as Paul says in Romans. What effect does this have on our children?

Children are always watching, they're designed that way. It's through observation that children learn and grow and they emulate what they see around them. When we say that "it's not safe to gather at church," or "it's not safe for you to continue your education right now," what's being communicated to them is that either those things aren't essential in their lives, or they themselves are not essential. Do we want our children to believe that they don't matter? Do we want our children to believe that the practice of their faith in the midst of fear is not important? Certainly it is in the tough times that those two things ought and need to be affirmed all the more.

Listen as we share our reflections on this season in our world and how it reminded us of what was truly essential for our family.

Should a minister in the church have a large family?

How could he attend to the duties of his ministry?

How could he provide for a large family on a ministry salary?

how could he attend to the cares of his family while also attending to the cares of his flock?

The life of a minister can be so demanding. How could one possibly be able to attend to the things of God's church as well as the things of a family?

And yet, we see in the Apostle Paul's qualifications of a minister in 1 Timothy and Titus, that a minister ought to be a respectable father in his own house, with respectable children. In fact, Paul goes on to say in Timothy that "if a man does not know how to lead his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?" (1 Timothy 3:5, Legacy Standard Bible). Indeed then, one of the tests of godly character for ministry, at least for those who have children (seeing that Paul himself had none), is to see the fruit of the household.

Life in ministry is indeed difficult, just as life within the family is not easy work. But that does not mean that God calls His ministers to forsake the proper care of one over the other. All too often, family is neglected and it will inevitably lead to the detriment of the other. And if the family is not neglected, then it is often cut short, with the intentional rejection of more children.

In this episode, we discuss our journey in ministry and the challenges we faced in desiring a large family in ministry.

Are children really welcome in God's house?

When it comes to having children in church in America, there's only one place for them, Sunday school. This is the norm in our modern day setting for children to go off to their own spaces, while the adults have their "real worship" in the main service. But...

Does this show children that they are welcome in God's house?

Does this teach them that they belong among God's people?

Does this teach them they belong to God?

When some children were trying to be brought before Jesus to be blessed, the disciples kept them from coming to Him. But Jesus said to His disciples, "“Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" (Matthew 19:14, Legacy Standard Bible). It's easy to miss the importance of children in God's Kingdom. Jesus had to remind His disciples just how important it was for these little ones to be with Him and even that His Kingdom was their inheritance. Jesus demonstrated just how much the children belonged to Him.

When we had our first child, we made the decision that we would always have our children in church with us. We would be a family that worshiped together. What we quickly discovered on that journey is just how powerful that space of worshiping together as a family can be, not only for our children and for us but as a picture of how God has designed the family to be. Our children quickly learned how to pray, how to sing, and even were able to express the truths of God's word in ways that only a child can express, with a simple and beautiful faith.

In this episode, we share some of our personal journey in choosing to bring our children into God's house and the blessings and challenges that have come with that decision.

Do you ever have those moments in your parenting when it feels like it's just too much to handle?  Whether the strain is physical, mental, or emotional, those moments can push us to our limits.  It's at these times when the temptation to throw in the towel can feel overwhelming.

Like Esau, who gave up his birthright for a meal, we can be tempted to make some foolish decisions that we will come to regret.  But even as parents, we're encouraged that in the midst of trials that seems sorrowful in the moment, to know that "afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness"  (Hebrews 12:11b, Legacy Standard Bible).

One of those moments for us came with some immense challenges in the transition to having three children that were accompanied by some health struggles for Lydia.  Fear came to grip Steve, which led him to contemplate a path that would have been a regretful for one for our family.

It's in those moments that we most need to turn to the Lord and seek His strength.  Choosing to trust in Him and not learn on our own understanding, when we feel like the task before us in parenting is more akin to feeding the five thousand with our feeble loaves and fishes.

What came out of this season for our family, was to think through family wellness from a biblical perspective.  In a world that desires comfort more than wholeness and numbing more than healing, we began to wonder if some core assumptions about family wellness in our culture really matched up with God's design. 

Psalm 139 says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made . . . intricately woven in the depths of the earth" (vv. 13, 15, LSB).  If we are God's design, than we are designed well.  We are not some cosmic accident that is in need of redesigning.  That's not how the world sees it.  Rather, we are cosmic accidents in need of perfecting.  Those are often the underlying assumptions that have come with modern ideas of health, which have led to a less than holistic perspective of caring for our bodies, the temple of the Lord.

If you want to know what some of our favorite resources are for holistic family wellness, check out our resource page here:

Resources for Holistic Family Wellness

What does being created in God's image have to do with parenting?

This question was at the center of our dating relationship.  The answer that we found in God's Word, would shape all of what was to come in our marriage and in the journey of parenting. 

How we choose to answer big questions like these can have a lasting impact on not just ourselves, but future generations.  For us, it meant taking God at His Word, that He is the Author of Life, and that by our very nature we are made to image God through marriage and parenting.  In fact, the very acts of marriage and childbearing, are a picture of the love we see in the Trinity and the resulting outflowing of life, all of creation.

There is no doubt then, as to the reason why God gives the first command of "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth..." (Gen 1:28).  He has in mind for His image-bearing creatures to image Him in the act of co-creating with Him through the union of love and oneness that we find in marriage.  It's a picture of Him.

The task is also one that is beyond the present.  The task is too great and too lofty for one generation to undertake.  It would be the task of the generations to carry out.  Because the Lord is an abundant who creates everything in abundance, from the countless stars in the sky, to the countless grains of sand on the seashore, so His image bearers are to create in abundance.

Join us in this week's episode for how these great truths have shaped our marriage and parenting!

What if parenting isn't just for the sake of raising up the next generation to be faithful?

What if parenting is something that God is using in our own lives to transform us more into the image of His Son as we learn what it means to love and serve sacrificially?

In this week's episode, we'll be discussing how God shapes our hearts, matures us, and points out our weaknesses to make us stronger through parenting. Children can be like little mirrors, reflecting back our own selfish thoughts, actions and desires. We all have those moments, when they give us a certain look, or repeat a phrase we use, or use the same body language, and we realize that they are learning from what we as parents are doing. Those moments can point to the work that still needs to be done in our own hearts.

From the time a child is conceived, particularly for the mother, a level of sacrifice is required upon the part of parents to care for the life of this new little one. The mirror is reflected in our own hearts as to our willingness to lovingly give of ourselves to our children. It's a picture of how Christ sacrificially gave of Himself for us and that kind of love is asked of us as parents.

Take a look in the mirror of the hearts of your children. What reflection do you see?

For more great conversations on shaping our hearts through parenting, check out "On the Doorframes."

https://www.onthedoorframes.com/

"The stork is coming to visit!" 

"You know how that happens right?"

"You need to learn to stay off of each other!"

Where do children come from, really?

Our society lives like we are the ones in charge of creating new life.  We've found that the more children God has given our family, the more vocal people become about speaking this belief.  But any couple who has struggled with infertility knows that children can only come from the Lord.

When we were first dating, we had a conversation about children and we were not on the same page!  Steven had been raised in a church that had taught newlyweds to wait until the relationship between the husband and wife was firmly established before

God is the author of life.  It says over and over again in Scripture that God "opens" and "closes" the womb.  And if He knows all that He has made, why would we think that there could be a life that could come from us that God did not intend?  There are no "oops" children in God's creation.  Instead, in creating us in His image, He has privileged us with the role of co-creators in bringing forth eternal beings into the world.  Think about that!  The little life that grows inside of a mother isn't a temporary organism, they have an eternal destiny! 

In this week's episode, we will be discussing how this question shaped our marriage and has helped us to trust the Lord with the children He chooses to bless us with.