After 17 goddamn years, Miami detectives main character Mike Looowwwrey and secondary, goofy ass Marcus Burnett must face off against a mother-and-son pair of drug lords who wreak vengeful havoc on their city, but a secret looms between them all...

the son is Mike's son. there. spoilers. whatever. it's a good movie.

After 8 years, two loose-cannon narcotics cops (who've gotten some gnarly raises and promotions) investigate the flow of Ecstasy into Florida from a Cuban drug cartel alongside Dwyane Wade's ex-wife. fun fact: the movie has 4 acts.

Two hip but very loud detectives protect an incredibly sexy witness (that i would personally love to see handcuffed far more often) to a murder while chaotically investigating a case of stolen heroin from the evidence storage room from their police precinct. more jokes, more jokes, how hot i think both Tea Leoni and Marg Helgenberger are...i'm tired. the synopsis is there.

When Tony Stark and Bruce Banner get all sneaky sneaky and try to jump-start a dormant peacekeeping program called Ultron which, let's be real, just sounds like he's gonna wind up being a bad guy, things go horribly wrong (because conflict and/or fucking duh), and it's up to Earth's mightiest heroes to stop the villainous Ultron from enacting his terrible plan. But first they gotta squabble like a harem of brother-husbands and sister-wives. Civil war...man, you didn't see that coming?

The Guardians struggle to keep together as a team while dealing with their personal family issues, notably Star-Lord's encounter with his father the ambitious celestial being Ego, and also Rocket being a relentless douche.

A group of intergalactic criminals who are not 100% dicks must pull together to stop a fanatical smurf-like idiot with massive anger issues who plans to purge the universe after he accuses them or something.

As Steve Rogers heroically and handsomely struggles to embrace his role in the modern world, he teams up with a fellow Avenger and S.H.I.E.L.D agent, Black Widow, and the equally heroic and handsome Sam Wilson/Falcon to battle a new threat from history: a former best friend turned assassin known as the also handsome Winter Soldier.

When the (legitimately) Dark Elves attempt to plunge the universe into (even more) darkness (because dark already isn't dark enough), Thor must embark on a perilous and personal (and dark) journey that will reunite him with doctor (darktor, HA!) Jane Foster.

in episode 50, Tony Stark's world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin (which kind of sucks because in the comics he's a WAY better villain), so he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution, which kind of works when you consider the future of the MCU, but it fails to deliver a payoff after the Avengers. the barrel of monkeys is cool though. WELCOME TO EPISODE 50, BITCHES!!

for our last drinking game of the year, we celebrate an uptight CEO sister who threatens to shut down her brother's branch, Jason Bateman plays the same character as always but a little different when throws an epic Christmas party in order to land a big client and save the day, but the party gets way out of hand, and that's a severe understatement...

drink up, suckahfish. see you in 2023.