Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood Podcast

Gender disappointment; after pregnancy loss


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I've recently learned that gender disappointment actually goes really deep. It is not a surface-level issue that comes up. There are so many things including your upbringing, your experiences, social interactions, and much more that go into feeling gender disappointment. 

I've gone through gender disappointment twice after my full-term loss because all I wanted was another girl since that is what was taken from me. Little did I know there was SO much more to that. In general, gender disappointment tends to land us in shame when others hear how we are feeling. And shit, judgment, and shame, are NOT what we need the most at this point! No thank you. Nor do you need validation for how you are feeling, but it is nice knowing others can sympathize and just be there for you. Hearing things like, you should just be happy with a living or healthy baby, or you should be grateful that you can get pregnant, and so on are just people who are uncomfortable with the conversation and want you to  These things are not helpful and nor do you have to listen to them. 


I highly encourage anyone who is suffering with this and can't seem to move on from it to see a licensed therapist to help you work through the deeper stuff that it's attached too. 

*** I always like to note I'm not a medical doctor, I recommend things based on personal experience, education and evidence-based information. 

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Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood PodcastBy Vallen Webb