Hey listener. We’ve come back for our yearly podcast. This time, we’re looking at another summer blockbuster: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, also known as Indiana Jones 5, also known as Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’s Child. This movie is unique among summer blockbusters, in that it was projected to make a lot of money, and it didn’t do that. This film has been out for several weeks now, and that has been long enough for officials to declare it a box office bomb. Ouch!

Nevertheless, your hosts have taken it upon themselves to watch this two and a half hour movie to let you know what you missed by not seeing it. In this episode, we talk about Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Grand Theft Auto, de-aging technology, Jaws (Quint, Hooper), The Fast and the Furious (Diesel), Antonio Banderas, Dr. Strangelove, the Coen brothers, Gimli conventions, and the art of falling asleep in a movie theater. You won’t want to miss it, because if you do, you will be less connected to the zeitgeist. We also talk about Nazis, because duh!

If you have comments on Indiana Jones and the Dial of Beyonce, please share them. We love hearing from our devoted base of one listener. Please enjoy this snob as much as we enjoyed doing it, which was a whole stinking lot. I’ll tell you one thing, you’ll enjoy this episode more than anyone enjoyed Shia LaBeouf’s role in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Aliens. Fortunately, Shia is not in this movie, which means there are no scenes of a character swinging on jungle vines alongside monkeys. You’ll have to just find a way to do that in your own spare time, which we do on a weekly basis. We highly recommend it. In fact, you should probably listen to this episode while swinging around on jungle vines, just to set the mood.

One June 10th, 2022, Jurassic World: Dominion was released. For a few days, people were talking about it, mostly regarding how bad it is. By the time this podcast episode was recorded a month later, nobody cared. It’s quite possible nobody ever cared about this movie, but the marketing was so aggressive that there was a brief moment that people believed they kind of cared. Still, lots of people saw it, for it has nearly made a billion dollars. However, just like Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, having that many people see it does not translate to having anyone remember that it even exists. In this episode, we talk about this movie that no one cares about, connecting it to previous Jurassic World movies that no one cares about as well as Jurassic Park movies that people still kind of care about. We also talk about No Country for Old Men, Jack Nicholson, and Carl Jung. Mostly, we talk about Henry Wu, the character played by B.D. Wong in four of the Jurassic films, including this one. As forgettable as this movie is, the price of the ticket was worth it to see B.D. Wong in a forlorn state after having caused the destruction of the planet with his advancements in genetic engineering. It’s very funny. We hope you enjoy this episode, listener. And if you don’t, please leave us a bad review about why you hate this podcast and unsubscribe. Thanks!

Abandon hope, all ye who enter Isla Nublar.

The movie is Predator. The setting is the jungle somewhere. The characters are a lot of beefy men, and one sneaky alien who starts pickin’ em off one by one. There’s some flexin. There’s some dyin. There’s even a bareknuckle brawl starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. This movie is a rompin’ stompin’ ride, and without movies of this kind, General Snobbery podcast wouldn’t exist. And we all know a lot of people would be worse off because of that.

We’re just kidding about that. We know no one listens to this podcast. But damnit! It’s fun to record. And maybe this is the episode that really takes off.

In this episode, Matt and Sean talk about a lot of things, some of which are parts of the movie Predator. Other things include the Mortal Kombat character Reptile, the Greek myth of the Labyrinth, and Danny Glover. Prepare yourself, listener. This one’s bound for explosion, macho man style.

Here’s a celebration of movie dads, and anything else we thought about in association. Enjoy, listener!

The Legend of Bagger Vance is a movie that not many people saw, and that very few people still talk about. But we’re still talking about it, damnit! Why? Well, you’ll just have to listen to find out, Listener. That’s the only way you’ll learn what this R. Redford/W. Smith film has to do with suburban dads who live lives of suppressed anger that manifests as psychotic rage. Enjoy!

Twister is a movie about tornados, Bill Paxton, and the 90s. Enjoy!

Hey Listener! Remember Lake Placid? It’s a movie that has Bill Pullman, Oliver Platt, and Betty White as a foul-mouthed woman who fed her husband to a giant crocodile. It’s a hoot! No, this snob is not about the sequel, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda. It’s just about the boring ole original. But hey! We also talk about other movies like Jurassic Park, The Shining, Stand by Me, Silence of the Lambs, and Major League: Back to the Minors. You don’t want to miss this snob. If you do, an aquatic creature might bite your head off any moment.

Hey Listener. This episode is about Mel Gibson’s Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto. Did we mention Mel Gibson made this film? In case you didn’t know that, you will after this episode. Except for the parts where we don’t talk about Apocalypto at all and instead talk a lot about life coaches. But maybe those also have something to do with Mel Gibson. Who the fuck knows.

Hey Listener. Did you hear that there’s a pandemic afoot? Did you know that M. Night Shyamalan predicted it in 2008 with his prophetic film, The Happening? Don’t let Mark Wahlberg’s atrocious acting fool you — this movie has a message. And it’s a message that we can always laugh during times of strife, even when random kids that enter halfway through the movie are getting shot on a random person’s doorstep. Good luck surviving the apocalypse! Who knows what twists are coming next.