16 To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”ReflectionsWritten by Stephen SheadAs we work through Genesis 3, again and again I’m struck by just how real all of this is, as we continue to see the “fall-out” from the Fall. And I’m so thankful for the salvation and hope God has graciously given us in Christ!First, we see how life is now a mixture of blessing and pain. From the beginning, children were a blessing from God (Genesis 1:28). In a fallen world, they also a source of immense pain (for women, very literally in childbirth!). What a comfort to know that all kinds of pain will be removed, and all tears changed into joy, when Jesus returns.The second “fall-out” is in human relationships – that instead of harmony and teamwork, we see power struggles and attempts to dominate. Here we see that specifically in marriage. God’s original design was for the husband to be “the head of the wife” (Ephesians 5:33) – which doesn’t mean husbands can bully or boss their wives around. It means God calls them to take the initiative in sacrificially loving their wives, and he calls wives to respond by gladly submitting to their husbands’ leadership.But our relationships are now infected with selfishness. The woman here is told that she will “desire” her husband. This is not about sexual desire, because in Genesis 4:7, God tells Cain that sin “desires” to have him. This is a desire to seize control over someone else – to manipulate and possess and take over.But God says that the woman won’t ultimately succeed – her husband will still “rule over her”. Does this mean her husband will lead her with sacrificial love? Tragically, all too often husbands seek to rule with an iron fist. Men, I wish I didn’t have to say it: There is absolutely no biblical justification for a false “headship” which says you can make your wife do whatever you want. If you’ve fallen for that devilish lie, please repent and ask someone for help to change!This is all pretty depressing. But again, knowing Christ should begin to transform all our relationships – not just in marriage, but wherever we are called to either exercise authority or to submit. In both cases, Jesus gives us a model of humility. He showed his absolute authority in that he “did not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). And as the Son of God, he humbled himself and submitted to his Father’s will, going to the cross for us (Philippians 2:8) – not because he had to, but willingly, as a free choice.Let’s ask God to so fill us with “the mind of Christ” that his humility starts to control our behaviour in all our relationships.QuestionCan you think of times you’ve been selfish and tried to make other people do what you want? How does Jesus want us to treat other people?About the AuthorStephen’s favourite music is jazz. And his favourite music quote is from the movie Robots: “It’s a fusion of jazz and funk. It’s called ‘junk’!”