To divorce with dignity, couples need closure. Until we’ve said goodbye to the relationship, we simply can’t let go of the blame and shame of the breakup and reach a peaceful resolution. But what does that look like? How can we work through the grief early on, so that we don’t end up having very expensive arguments in an attorney’s office?

A relationship expert with four decades in private practice, Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil is widely recognized as one of America’s best couples therapists. She is the bestselling author of several books, including Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples and Adultery: The Forgivable Sin. Dr. Bonnie has appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show and Oprah, and her work has been featured in The New York Times and New York Magazine, among many other publications.

On this episode, Dr. Bonnie joins Katherine to explain why it’s crucial to say goodbye to an old relationship before you can say hello to a new one and describe how children express what couples suppress in the divorce process. Dr. Bonnie also shares the top mistakes divorcing couples make, describing how she helps couples leave WITHOUT blame or shame. Listen in for Dr. Bonnie’s insight on getting closure when your ex won’t cooperate and learn why the temporary pain of an intentional goodbye is so much better than playing out the emotional battle in a lawyer’s office!

Topics Covered

Dr. Bonnie’s insight that children express what couples suppress

Why it’s crucial to say goodbye to your old relationship

Getting closure with your ex before you enter the lawyer’s office

How to get closure and leave WITHOUT blame or shame

The top mistakes people make in the divorce process

1. Sidestep conflict (peace at any price)

2. Avoid ex-spouse

3. Brady Bunch expectations

4. Badmouth, criticize ex

Why the temporary pain of closure is preferable to avoidance

How to get closure for yourself if your ex refuses to cooperate

The magic in connecting with your ex in a different way

Why Dr. Bonnie sees adultery as the forgivable sin

Navigating the ‘power struggle’ stage of a romantic relationship

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil

Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil’s Website

Call (212) 606-3787

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

Free Chapter of Dr. Bonnie’s Book: http://doctorbonnie.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Adultery-Ch-16.pdf

Dr. Bonnie’s Stepmom Course: http://doctorbonnie.com/drbonnieStepmomCourse/

Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples by Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil and Harville Hendrix: https://www.amazon.com/Make-Up-Dont-Break-Finding/dp/1605503606

Adultery: The Forgivable Sin by Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil: https://www.amazon.com/Adultery-Forgivable-Bonnie-Eaker-Weil/dp/1587768151