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Getting pregnant didn’t fix my grief.

I thought it would. I hoped it would. I believed that once I was pregnant, the grief from infertility and pregnancy loss would finally quiet down, especially during the holidays.

But it didn’t.

In this episode, I share what it’s really been like to move through the holiday season while pregnant after loss, and why grief doesn’t disappear just because circumstances change. Pregnancy softened the pain, but it didn’t erase it. The loss of ease, the weight of past holidays, and the quiet absence of the children I lost still show up especially when the table feels incomplete.

We talk about pregnancy announcements and the grief of never getting to experience them without fear, why it’s not a child’s responsibility to heal their parent’s pain, and what it actually means to hold space for grief instead of trying to fix it.

This episode is for anyone who thought reaching the “next milestone” would make the pain go away and found that it didn’t. It’s also for loved ones who want to understand how to show up with compassion during the holidays.

Joy and grief can exist at the same table.

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