Asking for help can put us in a vulnerable space. For some, asking for help feels like an admission of failure or weakness. However, many (including the POTC crew) would argue that asking for help demonstrates incredible strength, intelligence, and bravery. On this episode of POTC, our co-hosts, Jill, Yael, and Debbie, gather to discuss the importance of asking for help. They provide clinician-approved methods for identifying appropriate help, asking for help, and overcoming common barriers to asking for help. Listen in to this help-filled episode, today!

Listen and Learn:

Why our co-hosts are drawn to the topic of asking for help

Barriers to asking for help when you need it most

Practical strategies to reframe shame and guilt related to asking for help

Specific challenges related to seeking out professional help through therapy or coaching

When to seek professional help vs. emotional support from your loved ones

Important differences between therapy and friendship

Clinician-approved methods for finding a therapist who’s a good fit for you and your needs

Cultural challenges to finding a therapist and starting treatment

Expert-approved ways to build out a reciprocal “helping network” with people you feel comfortable with


Resources:

Read Yael and Brad Stulberg’s Washington Post piece, Therapist or coach: Understanding the difference and how to pick one


Read Debbie’s Psyche article, How to ask for help  

Check out Flynn and Lake’s research on asking for help


Read Zoe Chance’s Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen  

Check out Dr. Jessi Gold’s article, Your Therapist Is Not Your Friend, Take It from a Psychiatrist 

Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us

We are four experts in psychology, bringing you science-backed ideas that can help you flourish in your work, relationships, and health.

Education

Training

Language Courses

Higher Education

K-12

Educational Technology

Social Sciences

Science & Medicine

Science

Health & Fitness

Mental Health

Self-Improvement

In this episode, we talk about a topic that touches so many of our lives: caregiving. Whether it’s something we’ve already experienced or might face in the future, caring for a loved one with an disease or illness is a profound journey.
Allison Applebaum, who is the founder of the Caregivers Clinic and Author of the beautifully titled, Stand By Me: A Guide to Navigating Modern, Meaningful Caregiving comes on board to enlighten us about the realities of caregiving—the stress, the work, the emotional burden—but also the unexpected rewards. She talks about discovering strengths you didn’t know you had and finding deeper connections with those you care for. 
Allison’s perspective is holistic and empathetic, offering a well-rounded view of caregiving. We cover everything from the emotional impact to practical tips and the broader societal issues like ageism and bias against those with neurocognitive challenges. It’s a conversation full of perspectives that you may not have even considered before. Let’s dive in!

Listen and Learn: 

The Allison Applebaum definition of family Caregiving 

How Allison founded a clinic to support caregivers, cared for her father, coped with her mother's unexpected death, and dealt with the challenges of illness and loss in the healthcare system

The moving tale behind the title of Allison’s book, Stand by Me  

Recognizing the significance of a person's identity and dignity in healthcare 

Combating ageism and elder speak in the health system 

Tips for beginning the caregiving journey for a loved one facing a health decline

Navigating through conflicts and disagreements within families regarding care for a loved one

What is caregiver burden? How can we prevent or address it? And, is it the same as caregiver burnout?

The challenge of uncertainty for caregivers and helpful strategies for dealing with this 

Can meaning and suffering coexist? 



Resources: 

Allison’s website

Stand By Me: A Guide to Navigating Modern, Meaningful Caregiving

Connect with Allison on Instagram and X




About Allison Applebaum
Dr. Allison Applebaum is an Associate Attending Psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSK), and an Associate Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine. She is the Founding Director of the Caregivers Clinic at MSK, the first program of its kind in the United States to provide comprehensive psychosocial care to family members and friends of patients who are in the caregiving role. Dr. Applebaum is also the author of the recently published narrative nonfiction book, Stand By Me: A Guide to Navigating Modern, Meaningful Caregiving.


Related Episodes:

354. A Family Guide to Dementia with Brent Forester

241. Emotion Coaching Skills for Families with Mindy Solomon (EFFT Part 2 of 2)

327. Thriving on Overload with Ross Dawson

310. The Expectation Effect with David Robson

351. You Only Die Once with Jodi Wellman

338. ACT for Burnout with Debbie!

116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune

138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

356. Navigating the Challenges of Caregiving with Allison Applebaum

You may have heard whispers about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, which has gained popularity for treating symptoms of trauma, anxiety, and depression. Although the eye movement component of EMDR is still not fully understood, it involves stimulating the brain through bilateral eye movements, sounds, or taps. Despite several studies finding no evidence that bilateral stimulation improves therapy, anecdotal evidence suggests that EMDR can be very effective in certain cases, and has been a real game changer for some. Here to chat with us and shed some light on this form of therapy, we are excited to have Jamie Marich, a leader in trauma recovery. Curious about EMDR therapy's transformative potential for healing trauma and mental health challenges? Tune in!
Listen and Learn:

The origin story of EMDR 

The skepticism around EMDR 

Are trauma and PTSD related? 

Distinguishing between "big T" traumas and "small t" traumas 

Why might talk therapy not work well for treating trauma and/or PTSD?

What are the phases of an EMDR session? 

Can EMDR be done through video therapy?

Resources:


Jamie’s website: https://jamiemarich.com/


Visit Redefine Therapy https://redefinetherapy.com/


EMDR Made Simple: 4 Approaches for Using EMDR with Every Client

EMDR Therapy & Mindfulness for Trauma-Focused Care

Connect with Jamie on social media: 

https://www.instagram.com/drjamiem/

https://www.facebook.com/drjamiemarich

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamiemarich/

About Jamie March
Dr. Jamie Marich (she/they) inspires people and systems to heal the wounds that keep them stuck, allowing for authentic transformation free of shame and stigma. A TEDx speaker, clinical trauma specialist, expressive artist, lay spiritual director, short filmmaker, Reiki master, yoga teacher, and recovery advocate, she unites all of these elements in her mission to redefine therapy. She is a woman in long-term recovery from an addictive disorder and lives with dissociative identities. As a queer woman who survived multiple spiritually abusive experiences in childhood and adulthood, Jamie is passionate about helping people to recognize where religion and spirituality may be causing harm in their lives so that they can chart a course for personalized healing.
Marich is the author of EMDR Made Simple: 4 Approaches for Using EMDR with Every Client (2011), Trauma and the 12 Steps: A Complete Guide for Recovery Enhancement (2012/2020), Creative Mindfulness (2013), Trauma Made Simple: Competencies in Assessment, Treatment, and Working with Survivors, Dancing Mindfulness: A Creative Path to Healing and Transformation (2015), EMDR Therapy & Mindfulness for Trauma-Focused Care (with Stephen Dansiger, 2018), Process Not Perfection: Expressive Arts Solutions for Trauma Recovery (2019), Healing Addiction with EMDR Therapy: A Trauma-Focused Guide (with Stephen Dansiger, 2022), The Healing Power of Jiu-Jitsu: A Guide to Transforming Trauma and Facilitating Recovery (with Anna Pirkl, 2022), Dissociation Made Simple: A Stigma-Free Guide to Embracing Your Dissociative Mind and Navigating Life (2023), and Trauma and the 12 Steps: The Workbook (with Stephen Dansiger, 2023). Her long-time publisher, North Atlantic Books, is releasing her memoir of spiritual abuse and recovery, You Lied to Me About God, in October 2024.
Related Episodes

210. Strategies for Becoming Safely Embodied with Deirdre Fay

37. Post-Traumatic Growth with Diana and Debbie

25. Resilience: Bouncing Back After Difficulty with Debbie and Rae


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

355. What is EMDR with Jamie Marich

Dementia is a complex topic that requires a delicate balance of understanding, compassion, and expertise. With the prevalence of dementia on the rise, healthcare providers, caregivers, and individuals themselves must have a solid grasp on how to navigate these challenging conditions. Our guest Brent Forester is an expert in geriatric psychiatry and dementia care, bringing almost three decades of experience supporting individuals with dementia and older adults facing mental health challenges. Discussing his co-authorship with Tom Harrison of "The Complete Family Guide to Dementia: Everything You Need to Know to Help Your Parent and Yourself", we hear about his proactive approach to caregiving and education for families and his journey into geriatric psychiatry. Through his insights into the nuances of dementia care, early diagnosis, treatment, the importance of distinguishing between various types of dementia, and grief in caregiving, Brent guides us in developing resilience and adapting to the emotional complexities of caring for a loved one with dementia.  

Listen and Learn: 

The admiration for his role model grandmother and fascination with problem-solving in medicine that influenced Brent's career in Geriatric psychiatry 

The process of diagnosing dementia and the benefits of early diagnosis

The difference between the clinical syndrome, which we call dementia, and the disease of dementia

What are the causes and symptoms of dementia? 

The multifaceted challenges dementia presents and the need for comprehensive healthcare approaches that consider these complexities

Goal setting and the importance of self-care for caregivers of people suffering from dementia 


Resources: 

More about Brent:

The Complete Family Guide to Dementia: Everything You Need to Know to Help Your Parent and Yourself


About Brent P. Forester
Brent P. Forester, MD, MSc. is the Dr. Frances S. Arkin Professor and Chair of Psychiatry at Tufts University School of Medicine, Psychiatrist in Chief and Chairman for the Department of Psychiatry at Tufts Medical Center and Director of Behavioral Health for Tufts Medicine. 

Dr. Forester spent a quarter of a century of his professional career at McLean Hospital and Mass General Brigham where he served as the Chief of the Division of Geriatric Psychiatry at McLean Hospital and Senior Medical Director for Value Based Care Solutions in the Population Health Management department at Mass General Brigham. Dr. Forester is an expert in geriatric psychiatry, specializing in the treatment of older adults with depression, bipolar disorder, and behavioral complications of Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias. He is a Past President of the American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry (AAGP), a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, and has previously served on the board of directors of the Alzheimer’s Association of Massachusetts/New Hampshire and chair of their Medical Scientific Committee.

Dr. Forester’s research focuses on novel treatment approaches to manage the disabling behavioral complications of dementia, such as agitation and aggression. Dr. Forester’s work also includes the implementation and evaluation of collaborative care models for comprehensive dementia care within primary care medical settings

Related Episodes: A Family Guide to Dementia

338. ACT for Burnout with Debbie!

207. Burnout with Debbie and Jill

204. Ageless with Andrew Steele

13. Healthy Aging and the Brain


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

354. A Family Guide to Dementia with Brent Forester

Ever think about how powerful asking questions can be? It's kinda mind-blowing when you think about all the insights, knowledge, and experiences we can tap into just by asking. So in this episode, we’ve got Jeff Welzer on board to talk about his book ASK: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life. Jeff enlightens us on how asking thoughtful and well-crafted questions that seek to learn can unlock a treasure trove of wisdom, ideas, and deep understanding. And it can even help you achieve your goals in both your personal and professional lives! You have to check out this awesome chat! Trust us, it's packed with gems that'll shift how you connect with others and enable you to grow as a person!

Listen and Learn: 

Are you missing out on valuable insights and hidden wisdom by not asking questions?

How asking well-crafted questions can help you achieve your goals and benefit you both in your personal and professional lives

Why do we withhold information? 

Tips to navigate speaking up when you might fear the reaction you could get

How Jeff’s ASK Approach can help you tap into other people's knowledge, thoughts, wisdom, and ideas

Ways you can make it safer for someone to open up more 

Transforming crummy questions into quality questions that promote meaningful discussion and insight

How you can get better at listening to learn

How can we pass the skillset of curiosity onto our kids 


Resources: 

Jeff’s website: https://www.askapproach.com/


https://transcendeducation.org/


ASK: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780306832697



Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781250235374



About Jeff Wetzler 
JEFF WETZLER is co-CEO of Transcend, a nationally recognized innovation organization, and an expert in learning and human potential. Wetzler combines unique leadership experiences spanning more than 25 years in business and education, as a management consultant to the world’s top corporations, a learning facilitator for leaders around the world, and as Chief Learning Officer at Teach For America. Jeff earned a Doctorate in Adult Learning and Leadership from Columbia University and a bachelor’s in psychology from Brown University. Based in New York, he is a member of the Aspen Global Leadership Network and is an Edmund Hillary Fellow.
https://www.askapproach.com/
Book: ASK: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life 

Related Episodes: 

329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott Shigeoka


281. Belonging Uncertainty and Bridging Divides with Geoffrey Cohen 

276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson

255. Influence is Your Superpower with Zoe Chance

165. How We Talk and Why It Matters with Katherine Kinzler


96. Effective Conversations About Diversity with Anatasia Kim and Alicia del Prado 


302. Say the Right Thing with David Glasgow 


185. Good Guys: Allies in the Workplace with Brad Johnson and David Smith 


299. Leadership and the Changing Workplace with Chris Shipley 

168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

353. Ask Great Questions with Jeff Wetzler

Our 20s are a time of great change and transformation. But many people overlook this and label them "snowflakes" for not having certain things, like partners, houses, mortgages, big jobs, or kids. The truth is that trying to achieve all those milestones at once without any guarantee of success can leave us feeling insecure and stressed. For this episode, we bring you guest, Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist who joins us to chat about her new book, The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age. Her insights are valuable for anyone in their twenties, about to enter their twenties, or even in their early thirties. Even If you are a parent with young adult children or a therapist who works with young adults, her book offers a solid foundation to help you understand the experiences of individuals at this developmental stage.
Listen and Learn: 

Are we being too hard on twenty-somethings? 

What do evolution and science tell us about the role of uncertainty for humans?

The impact of technology, particularly the internet and social media, on the difficulties faced by individuals in their twenties

Is medication always the best medicine? 

Your default mode network and your task-positive network 

Why your twenties may not be the best years of your life (and why that's okay!!)

Is work the leading cause of stress and anxiety in 20-somethings?

Finding your purpose as a 20-something 

Resources:

Meg’s website: https://megjay.com/



The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781668012291


Connect with Meg on social media: 

https://www.threads.net/@drmegjay

https://twitter.com/drmegjay

https://www.tiktok.com/@drmegjay

https://www.linkedin.com/in/meg-jay-phd/

https://www.instagram.com/drmegjay/


About Meg Jay
Meg Jay, PhD, is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is the author of The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age, Supernormal: The Secret World of the Family Hero and the cult classic The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now. Her books have been translated into more than a dozen languages and her work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review and on NPR, BBC and—maybe most important for her audience—TikTok.  

A recent New York Times profile called Dr. Jay “the patron saint of striving youth, a prophet-like figure for a generation of young people buried under mixed messaging,” and her TED talk “Why 30 Is Not the New 20” is among the most watched to date.  Dr. Jay earned a doctorate in clinical psychology, and in gender studies, from the University of California, Berkeley. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia and maintains a private practice in Charlottesville. 
Related Episodes

347. Job Changes & Career Pivots with Paula Brand

281. Belonging Uncertainty and Bridging Divides with Geoffrey Cohen

274. Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood with Satya Doyle Byock

249. How to Be Single & Happy with Jenny Taitz

194. How to Be (and raise) an Adult with Julie Lythcott-Haims

179. How to Be An Adult in Relationships with Dave Richo

74. Mastering Adulthood with Lara Fielding


Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us

Download our free app to listen on your phone