Getting to Good Enough

None of us is getting any younger, right? This week, Janine and Shannon discuss this natural process and letting go of perfectionistic feelings about how we should look or feel or function as we age.

Discussion topics include:

• Why this week in particular we’re feeling our age

• How old are we, anyway?

• Shannon’s reluctance to get hearing aids, even though her need for them has nothing to do with aging

• Trying to accept the normal effects of aging, particularly changing bodies

• How we’re socialized to care so much about looking young

• Shannon’s fear of being dismissed because of her age (and the resulting desire to look younger than she is)

• Being open and public about our ages

• Shannon’s upcoming ankle surgery

• Dealing with our less-than-stellar ability to remember things

• Cutting ourselves slack for changes we can’t control

• Being as kind to ourselves as we are to others when it comes to aging (and everything else)

In past episodes, Shannon and Janine have discussed how to deal with overwhelm. This week we're talking about how to prevent feeling overwhelmed in the first place.

Discussion topics include:

• Learning to say no

• Knowing what is important to you so that you know when to say yes

• Janine’s strategies for saying no (she’s getting really good at it)

• Recognizing that by saying no to an opportunity, you’re giving someone who wants to do it a chance 

• How “busy” isn’t really a badge of honor

• The fact that it’s totally okay (even beneficial!) to not be busy

• The value of knowing your capacity so you don’t take on more than you can handle

• Recognizing that you can’t “make time” to do something

• Creating systems to automate things that happen regularly so they don’t become overwhelming

• Planning in advance how things could go more smoothly

• Writing everything down to free the brain and alleviate overwhelm

• Allowing yourself some spaciousness (and giving yourself a moment to catch your breath!)

• The paradox of how recognizing you don’t have control makes you feel more in control

• The role of self care in preventing overwhelm

• How it’s okay to tell someone something they don’t want to hear

Since this is the 52nd episode of the podcast, Janine and Shannon are celebrating a year of podcasting and discussing what it's been like living with a "good enough" mentality for a year. (Spoiler alert: It's been great!)

Discussion topics include:

• Some things we’ve learned from a year of living the “good enough” mentality

• How Shannon is more okay with good enough now than she was a year ago

• The difference it’s made to allow good enough to be good enough

• How Janine feels better about her pre-existing good-enough mentality than she did before the podcast

• The benefits of experimenting with good enough

• Shannon’s good-enough Reading Trello board

• Janine’s good-enough experience buying a new monitor

• The freedom of embracing good enough when entertaining

• How her good-enough mentality helped Shannon figure out how to adapt to her limited exercise ability

• Electric-bike-buying made easy with good enough

• Embracing good enough in podcasting (no editing, no rehearsing)

• Our excellent division of labor in podcast post-production

• How we never could have imagined a year ago the podcast's successes

Visit the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com to see a photo of Shannon's Reading Trello board!

Is it better to take care of regular tasks daily or let a backlog build up and then take care of it all at once? You probably won't be surprised by the answer that question: It depends. This week, Janine and Shannon discuss their ideas around which tasks are better handled daily and which can be batched.

Discussion topics include:

• Tornadoes in St. Louis

• Taking care of things every day versus letting things build up to do at once

• Janine’s affinity for daily habits

• How it’s more beneficial to batch some tasks rather than do them daily

• Areas that really benefit from daily action, like handling email and keeping the kitchen clean

• How perfectionism can get in the way of putting stuff away

• Janine’s definition of clutter: Having more items than you can comfortably store

• How some things are better done in batches

• Being mindful about approaching tasks daily or in batches

• How Shannon batches the processing of the mail

• The Paper Karma app that helps you get rid of unwanted mail

• Right-turn technology (have you ever seen a UPS truck turn left?)

• Getting rid of a backlog without adding to it

• How sometimes a backlog doesn’t even have to be dealt with

We can't let it be so easy that we never do anything that's difficult. But we can introduce ease into difficult situations to make them easier. This week Shannon and Janine discuss introducing ease into even the most challenging scenarios.

• How some difficult things can’t be made easy, but that doesn't mean there can't be ease

• Debunking the idea that if something isn’t hard it doesn’t count

• Janine’s disagreement (with her dad) over “taking the easy way out”

• How Shannon built some ease into the difficult task of training for a marathon

• Janine's plans for introducing ease into an upcoming, potentially unpleasant dental procedure

• “Naked bears”

• How even if you embrace ease, sometimes you just have to do things that are difficult

• Shifting your thoughts about how you think about a difficult task

• Creating ease by planning in advance and taking action

• Case in point: Moving house is much easier when you plan ahead

• How Shannon’s most difficult move was only six inches

• How allowing yourself plenty of time to do something difficult can build in some ease

Visit www.gettingtogoodenough.com for links!

Perfectionism can be paralyzing. This week, Janine and Shannon discuss why it can be hard to get started, along with some techniques and strategies for making it easier.

Discussion topics include:

• Using a timer to help you get started on a task

• Janine’s microwave timer method of getting stuff done

• Limiting the number of resources you explore before starting something

• Mark Forster’s trick for fooling the reactive brain to get started

• How getting started is easier if you don’t think you have to finish

• Shannon’s trick for making your project feel less overwhelming: Shrinking your image of it so small you can hold it in your hand

• Learning a new language by studying only five minutes a day

• The difference between not wanting to get started and procrastination

• Shannon’s quiz to help you identify your personal barriers to getting started

• How when the payoff is far away (as in a tax refund) it can be hard to get started

• The fact that negative experiences are more lasting than positive ones

• The key to getting started: Understanding what matters to you + breaking the task into small steps + shifting your perception of the task or project so that it feels doable.

Visit www.gettingtogoodenough.com for links from this episode!

Perfectionists tend to have high standards. And that's okay. But when those high standards are very rigid, life can become more difficult. This week, Shannon and Janine discuss the benefits of being more flexible and how go about building flexibility into your high standards.

Discussion topics include:

• How we've embrace flexibility in our podcast recording schedule

• Tangent #1: Janine and Shannon’s abiding love for the TV show Nashville (we ♥️ Deacon Claybourne)

• How one of the hallmarks of perfectionism is being rigid with expectations and standards

• Practicing on the edge of discomfort to increase your self awareness around inflexibility

• Flexing your flexibility muscle

• An example of flexibility: letting go of the discomfort of seeing other people’s errors without correcting them

• How being flexible makes life easier, even when it means relaxing high standards

• Becoming aware of where you have rigidly high standards that are problematic, so that you can figure out ways to bring flexibility into them

• Tangent #2: Alanis Morissette’s (non-ironic) Ironic song

• Embracing flexibility in creating routines to allow you to stick with the routine

• Creating flexibility around your standards of flexibility

There are lots of little ways we can practice being good enough, rather than perfect. In this episode, Shannon and Janine pick two areas little areas for putting good enough into practice: recycling and making phone calls.

Discussion topics include:

• Getting to Good Enough's big milestone: 50,000 downloads!

• Janine’s recent encounter with a GTGE fan

• A good enough approach to recycling: Err on the side of putting stuff in the landfill

• How recycling isn’t an all-or-nothing proposition

• Shannon’s solution to the non-recyclability of paper coffee cups: Her leakproof travel mug (see link in show notes)

• DE-cal versus Dih-KAL

• Some of the recycling guidelines that Janine recently learned

• Letting go of perfectionism around making phone calls

• The burden of unmade phone calls hanging over your head versus the relief of just making the call

Go to www.gettingtogoodenough.com for links and photos!

Relaxing is so important. Even during our busiest times, taking time to relax can keep us more productive. This week, Janine and Shannon talk about the importance of relaxation, how they relax and how perfectionism can get in the way of relaxing.

Discussion topics include:

• How Shannon and Janine relax

• The challenge in prioritizing relaxation

• Reading as relaxation

• Janine’s love for Yogi Soothing Caramel Tea (and the fact that Shannon hates it)

• The two types of relaxing: mental and physical

• Shannon’s tricky workaround for her current inability to go cycling: an E-Bike!

• One of Janine and Shannon’s favorite relaxation activities: floating in a flotation tank

• How perfectionism can get in the way of relaxing

• Repeat TV watching as a safe relaxation choice

• Thinking about the kind of experience you want in your relaxation

• Yoga as a mentally and physically relaxing activity

• Shannon’s meditation/napping combination, "Napitation"

• How it’s especially important to take time to relax when you’re stressed

• The fact that taking time to relax can help you be more productive

• Keeping a relaxation list to make it even easier to relax

Be sure to check out the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for links!

Even when you're in the groove on a new habit it can be so easy to hit a snag and get completely derailed. In this episode, Shannon and Janine discuss planning ahead for these derailments to make it easy to get back on track.

Discussion topics include:

• The emotions that come up over not having stayed with something that make it harder to get started again

• The difficulty of restarting a chain once it’s broken.

• Making a plan to re-start your habits after a disrupting event (like travel)

• Creating a lite version of routine or habit to make it easier for yourself to resume a habit

• Deciding what will count to maintain a habit or routine

• A powerful mantra Shannon created with one of her clients

• The power of acknowledging that you messed up

• Setting your own standards for success

• The importance of knowing why you want to do something

• Avoiding getting caught up in creating a habit for habit’s sake

• Shannon’s come-home-a-day-early strategy that makes re-entry from travel easier

• Janine’s strategy for getting back on track after an upcoming trip (see below to find out how it worked out)

• Being gentle with yourself as the kindest way to accomplish getting back on track

Comment from Janine: I ended up doing yoga at my friend's home four of the six days I was in Charleston.  That felt great and I'm happy to say I was able able to get right back to it once I was home. Also, I did leave myself a nice, cheerful "welcome home" note that allowed to slide right back into my groove upon my return.

Check the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for links