Getting to Good Enough

It's the time of year to set goals (though, really, you can do it any time). We're winding up our break by re-running our 2018 end-of-the-year episode about goals and resolutions. In this episode, we talk about setting realistic, good enough goals. Way back in 2009, we created a teleclass and workbook about resolutions and we're revisiting it in this episode. (The messages of the teleclass will feel very familiar. They've stood the test of time!) Stay tuned next week for a new episode!

Discussion topics include:

• The details of Janine’s personal retreat day where she sets her goals for the coming year

• The perils of setting unrealistic goals and the alternative of good enough goals

• Flashback to a teleclass called “Why Resolutions Don’t Work and How to Get What You Want Anyway" that Shannon and Janine created in 2009. It's like a prequel to this podcast.

• The one element the teleclass has that this podcast lacks: Hypnosis!

• The three main problems that stop people from achieving their goals and how you can get past them to get what you want

• Janine's word for next year and how she plans to remind herself about it

• The hashtag we created: #goodenoughgoals

Check out the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for a link to purchase Good Enough Goal Setting!

Happy Thanksgiving to our U.S. listeners! This week, Shannon and Janine discuss the value of taking a true break from things you do regularly. And announce that we're walking the walk by taking a hiatus from the podcast for five weeks. (We'll return on December 30.)

Discussion topics include:

• We're taking a break!

• Our decision to take a podcast hiatus between Thanksgiving and the end of the year

• The value of taking a real break to refresh and revitalize

• Getting new things out of re-listening to podcast episodes (we think we have some good nuggets!)

• Please send us ideas for topics for future episodes!

• Stopping midstream to make it easier to come back to something

• We encourage you to take a break from something you're doing regularly without worry

• Our feeling that whatever we gain from taking a break will far outweigh anything we might lose

Wishing you a great five weeks! We look forward to recording again in the new year!

Visit the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com.

We're all about the fun this week as we discuss gamification as a way to make tasks more fun and enjoyable. From decluttering to learning a new language to running a race, employing gamification can make everything easier!

Discussion topics include:

• Declutter Go! the new decluttering game that Janine's friend Lynne Poulton has just launched

• Shannon's favorite gamifying language-learning app, Duolingo. She has used it 656 days in a row!

• How Shannon took gamification to the next level by joining Duolingo Leagues

• The impact Duolingo Leagues had on Shannon's effort (she's now in the top-tier Diamond League!)

• How the extra gamification has allowed to Shannon to learn a lot more Portuguese

• The game that got Shannon back into running after a car accident (Zombies, Run!)

• To-Do List Bingo!

• Remember: Fun and easy absolutely counts!

• Gamifying anything

Visit the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for photos of Declutter Go and lots of links!

Sometimes you have to slow down to actually get more done (and feel good). This week, Shannon and Janine (who recorded this episode in person!) discuss the value of mindfully slowing down.

Discussion topics include:

• The joy of recording an episode together in person

• How we've both had experiences where not slowing down has created problems, as well as experiences where mindfully slowing down has been beneficial

• Taking a breath and considering what really needs to happen next when you're moving quickly (even though it feels counterintuitive)

• The time Janine was running late to give a speech and turned the wrong way on a one-way street

• How journaling can help

• How traffic jams needn't stress you out

• Giving yourself a buffer to relieve stress around getting somewhere on time

• Building in space to enjoy the most important things on vacation

• Taking it to the next level: Having an unscheduled day when you're on vacation

• The value of knowing what's important (once again)

• The awesome Trello board Shannon built for her recent trip to NYC

• Actually taking the day off on the weekend

• How slowing down can be a state of mind

• Redefining your goals during crunch times so you can feel good about what you achieve

Visit the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for a video and links!

Sometimes it can be hard to tell when to tolerate a situation or when to say it’s not good enough and walk away. In this episode Janine and Shannon discuss how make that call, along with some techniques for standing up for yourself and getting the results you want.

Discussion topics include:

• A trip down memory lane at travel practices of yesteryear

• Figuring out when enough is enough

• Shannon’s recent NYC Airbnb experience that caused her to take a stand and reject an unacceptable situation

• The minimum requirements Shannon set up for the room that replaced the unacceptable Airbnb

• Shannon’s concerns about making the situation worse (when the reverse turned out to be true)

• How to figure out when to say when: Get in touch with what’s important to you (a common refrain!)

• Shannon’s surprise at how much stress was relieved by her leaving the unpleasant accommodation

• Walking away from a restaurant that takes too much time to seat and serve you water

• Recognizing what you are willing to tolerate versus what you don’t need to tolerate

• Janine’s rental car experience that started with her trying to stand up for herself and ended with her accepting a good-enough car

• How it can be difficult to know how assertive to be

• The strategy that works for us: Be as nice as possible to people while being assertive

• How being very nice to the ticket agent resulted in Shannon flying first class on the last leg of her trip home from New Zealand

• Remembering that customer service personnel almost always want to make you happy

Visit the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com.

We dipped into the archives for this episode, which originally aired on July 18, 2019. We think the advice is still solid!

Labels on bins are great. Labels we give ourselves can be limiting. This week, Janine and Shannon talk about the problem with negative labels we apply to ourselves, along with the benefits of positive labels. We also discuss some of the labels  we're trying to shed in our own lives.

Discussion topics include:

• Words matter: By talking tendencies, not labels, we allow ourselves room for change

• How Janine, who is naturally good at good enough, sometimes acts in a perfectionistic way

• What should we call people who embrace good enough? (Good enoughers?)

• That positive labels can be helpful, but negative ones are limiting

• How our self-applied labels don’t necessarily reflect reality (Shannon had run three marathons before she would call herself a real runner!)

• How Shannon overcame a swimming phobia as a gift to herself for her 40th birthday

• Thinking about which labels can be useful and which aren’t helpful at all

• The shift in Janine’s thinking about her self-applied “messy” label

• Labels Janine and Shannon hear from their clients

• Just-in-time productivity versus procrastination

• How if your label becomes your identity, it’s something to explore (particularly if it’s holding you back)

• Janine’s label as a “non-handy” person and her strategies for changing it

• Shannon’s label as someone with a bad memory and how she’d like to change that

Check out the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for links!

Venturing out of our comfort zones can be difficult in the best of times and COVID has made it even more challenging. In this episode, Janine and Shannon discuss weighing rewards and risks, as well as some of the joys of venturing out.

Discussion topics include: 

• Janine's thrill over the fact she was able to buy a new Nissan Leaf!

• How buying an electric car caused her to venture out of her comfort zone

• The benefit of seeing venturing out as a fun challenge

• How great it feels to drive an electric vehicle

• Thinking about the resources you have available to you to make venturing out feel less risky

• Two ways to venture out of your comfort zone: Just go for it or take baby steps

• Venturing out to events in this post-pandemic world

• Shannon's visit to a pumpkin patch (complete with corn maze)

• How COVID has made venturing out even more uncomfortable

• Staying open to the possibility you'll have a good time

• Paying attention to the rewards rather than the risks of venturing out

• How Janine turned down the opportunity to go the symphony recently while Shannon is doing the opposite: She's off to New York to see multiple Broadway shows!

• Letting go of trying to get everything perfect before you venture out

Check out the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for a picture of the spectacular sunset at the pumpkin patch!

It can be hard to change your mind once you've made a decision. But doubling down on a commitment isn't always the most beneficial thing. This week, Shannon and Janine discuss how to change your mind, the role of commitment bias, and the value of considering alternatives.

Discussion topics include:

• Janine's car-shopping frustrations

• The car Janine wants to buy (because Shannon has one): A new Nissan Leaf electric car

• Janine's commitment to her decision to buy this car

• The idea that Janine might be smart to consider changing her mind on this, since the car isn't readily available

• Commitment bias, our tendency to stick with a decision after we've committed to something even in the face of conflicting evidence

• Stepping back from the commitment to consider whether the decision is still a good one

• The fallacy of sunk cost as a reason to stick with something

• The difficulty of changing your mind when people are aware of the decision that you made

• How Fear of Missing Out factors into Janine's car-shopping experience

• Giving yourself the space to consider all the things that are going through your mind when you make a decision

• Questions to ask yourself when you're considering changing your mind

• The value of considering alternatives

• How the pandemic forced us to consider all sorts of alternatives

• How perfectionism can make changing your mind particularly difficult

• Cultivating more curiosity about trying new things

See the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for an update from Janine and links!

Spending time on social media can be a double-edged sword. This week Janine and Shannon discuss the how's and why's of Shannon's recent deactivation of her Facebook and Instagram accounts--and the relief she felt afterward.

Discussion topics include:

• How Shannon deactivated her Facebook and Instagram accounts four days before we recorded this episode

• Her reasons: Social media was sucking up time but she wasn't really gaining anything from it (it was a waste of her time!)

• The pressure Shannon felt to do social media properly

• The temptations she felt (but resisted) to get back on to Facebook temporarily after she deactivated

• How her ingrained habit of opening the social media apps on her phone became apparent

• The huge sense of relief that Shannon felt when she deactivated her accounts

• Taking a break from social media vs. deactivating accounts

• Shannon's plan: To go back on social media mindfully once she really wants to and has a clear purpose for doing it

• What a toxic environment social media can be

• How deactivating her accounts allows Shannon space to decide whether or not to go on it

• A little foray into a discussion of ice cream flavors from Salt & Straw in Portland

• The power of the deactivation--it relieves the pull of social media

• Janine's temptation  to follow in Shannon's footsteps and deactivate her accounts

Visit the show notes at www.gettingtogoodenough.com for updates on Shannon's deactivated status and whether Janine has deactivated her social media accounts!

If you offer advice when a person isn't ready to receive it, you may not be helping them. In this episode, Shannon and Janine discuss how to offer effective advice (or other types of help) by making sure the help is welcome.

Discussion topics include:

• The tendency many people have to offer unwelcome advice

• Fashioning advice in ways that feel good to the recipient

• Venting vs wanting advice

• How some people (especially those with Y chromosomes) seem to have trouble differentiating between the need to vent and the desire for advice

• Even well intended advice isn't helpful if the recipient isn't open to advice in the moment

• How to make sure your advice is effective

• Opening phrases to avoid: "You should..." or "You just need to..."

• A question to embrace: "Would you like to know what I would do in that situation?"

• How sometimes you just want to be heard (or have your outrage matched)

• A powerful way to help: Giving a person the space to be heard and process their problem out loud

• How to offer physical help to people without implying you think they're helpless

• The value of telling the other person how you want to be helped