“Happiness Lies Within”

This is the most important truth that my spiritual master bestowed upon me.

Years later, Elizabeth Gilbert (stop! I can hear some of your eyerolls!) expounded on the same teaching by reminding us that we tend to treat happiness like the weather. Like something that comes and goes. Not like something we get to nurture and cultivate.

Like a luminescent truth that radiates out from our core.

If you’ve been with me long enough you know that I am a very positive guy who does not believe in toxic positivity. We are here to live life on life’s terms. And life’s terms include devastating loss. I aim to live face forward without flinching before life and all that it brings.

But I still get to experience a source of happiness that lies deep within me. That is my very nature. That allows me the capacity to get through the hard parts.

When I am doing healing work with others, I am prone to remind them that they are “self-luminous.”

YOU are Self-Luminous.

Self-Luminous Like the Sun

The sun is its own source of light. There is nothing else lighting it up. This is just like the happiness that lies within each of us. Not the fleeting happiness of the good times. The high. The high I’ve been chasing most of my adult life. No. Not the happiness of moments. But the happiness of knowing and of being your truest Self.

THIS happiness is a lighthouse. It is the light of our fullest expression. And it lights the path for others.

No matter what you do from here. Please take a moment to contemplate these twin truths.

That happiness lies within

That you are self-luminous like the sun

The Luminosity Intensive:

This note is about Tuesday’s upcoming Luminosity Intensive, a transformative 12-week online journey designed specifically for women who are ready to embrace their true essence and illuminate the world with their light.

For new readers, Tuesday Rivera is my wife, my love and my light. Here you have a video of my most recent podcast episode. We devote the first ten minutes to the specifics of the Luminosity Intensive. But the rest is a rich conversation on what it takes to find this light. And to dare to share it.

Interested women can find more text about the Luminosity Intensive below, or better yet, click here for more detail: https://www.findtheoutside.com/luminosity-intensive

Tuesday is an experienced process designer on a profound personal journey of enlightenment. The Luminosity Intensive offers a unique blend of introspection, communal support, and practical strategies to nurture your inner brilliance and express it outwardly.

The Luminosity Intensive is not just a program; it's an initiation into a deeper understanding of yourself and your capabilities. Through a carefully structured series of modules that include intuitive coaching, sacred feminine practices, and communal sharing, participants are invited to explore their divine nature, confront and integrate their shadows, and boldly step into a fuller expression of themselves.

This program is for women who feel a deep call to uncover and harness their unique gifts, to connect with like-minded souls, and to contribute meaningfully to the world. Whether you're seeking to deepen your spiritual practice, to find clarity and direction in your personal or professional life, or to join a sisterhood of luminous beings, the Luminosity Intensive offers the tools, guidance, and community to support your journey.

With limited spots available, this intensive experience promises not just transformation but a profound reconnection with the sacred, both within and around us. It's an invitation to become part of a movement of women who are lighting up the world by first igniting their own inner flame. Are you ready to step into your light and make an impact? Join us in the Luminosity Intensive and let's illuminate the path together.

How do we build the world we are longing for in the here and now?

This is the question that orients the work of my friend, Sól Gonzalez. Sol is an intuitive coach who understands their work with others as the act of holding and mirroring. Their bio is included here at the end.

But right now I want to tell you that I have learned and grown a lot through my relationship with Sól. While our friendship is fun, loving and personal. They also hold an archetypal energy. A way of being and sensing in the world that can feel quite different than how I go about the same effort. There is something rich and revelatory when I meet Sól at this juncture.

You will appreciate this conversation. We cover lots of grounds. Some of Sól’s story. Their approach to coaching. Their commitment to justice and how they contend with the intensity of living in a world that includes horrors such as what is happening in Gaza. While remaining connected to the good, the true and the beautiful.

Definitely let me know what you take from this conversation.

More About Sól:

Sól (they/them), of solstice healing, is a white and indigenous Venezuelan-American intuitive process holder, space facilitator, and energy worker. They are a Certified Healing, Justice and Liberation life coach, culture worker, anti-oppression organizational consultant, and lifelong grief and love apprentice. They believe it is imperative to be building the world we are longing for in the here and now, in our relationships, “for our survival’s sake”. That the differing collective crises we are living through, if midwived with intention, have the capacity to bring us towards the liberatory futures our descendents deserve.

Sól is an aspiring abolitionist, a steadfast lover of possibility, and a student of the land. They relate to life, grief, love and justice with reverence, creativity and devotion. Their approach and gifts are best suited for those ready for personal and/or collective change.

Sól is a descendant of the Carib/Karinha Indians of the Northeast region of Venezuela, a descendant of people from the Levant region as well as from Southern Spain.

They have their own practice under solstice healing as well as are a co-founding member of the worker cooperative, Facilitate Change.

Links:

https://www.solstice-healing.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/solgonzalezjatar/

https://facilitatechange.org/

What can we do to surface the origins of our inequality?

What can we do to dismantle the narratives and the policies that keep us divided?

Is there a way for us to push for reparations so that we can actually heal our relationships and our democracy?

These are important questions. And many of us have been grappling and experimenting to find an answer. It is not hard to see that we are headed in the opposite direction. Democracy is shaking. Separation and supremacist thought are on the rise.

I recently reconnected with Nicole Carty. It was in the context of an effort to leverage arts and culture in ways that impact public policy. I was impressed by the rigor of Nicole's thought. She holds a commitment to a theory of change that is well articulated. Grounded in the lessons that have made for successful movements in our past.

Today she helps to lead an organization called Get Free. And what I find impressive is the project’s commitment to build mass movement. It seeks to engage and raise consciousness across an intersection of people. People who are directly impacted by our current conditions.

Many of us are interested in what a mass movement can look like. But it doesn't seem like we have been able to build something that can sustain itself over time. We are not impacting politics and power in ways that last. Reactionary forces seem to keep gaining ground.

We have been blessed to experience movements that raise consciousness. From Occupy Wall Street, to #MeToo to #BlackLivesMatter. But we are still coming up against the limits of sustaining our most important demands.

And so I get hopeful when I hear of projects, like the one that Nicole Carty is helping to lead. When we spoke about her approach, I felt more grounded in something that feels real. Something that has rigor to it. An effort held together by a deep analysis. Something that demands coming together. And a commitment to real engagement with the centers of power. An effort anchored by the understanding that mass movements are the key to lasting change.

I'm looking forward to hearing what you think of my conversation with Nicole. I am very excited to introduce her to those of you that don't know her yet.

Enjoy the podcast and let me know what you think.

One of the drawbacks of my work is that my mom doesn’t know how to talk about it. She doesn’t get to brag about what her kid does. And she wants to!

That’s because it’s not easy to talk about facilitation. How do you explain what facilitators do? Different facilitators do different things. You have to experience it. And when the stakes are high, you really have to trust someone’s reputation.

This is why I’m so excited to share this beautiful conversation with my friend Alia Lahlou, who is a magnificent, well-respected facilitator. She is also a mediator, and does excellent work with organizations. She definitely has the gift for what we do. And she knows what it takes to do it. To do this work and do it well you must commit to working deeply on yourself. This will become evident as you listen to the conversation.

I’m inviting you to listen to two facilitators talk shop. I’m calling this episode Love & Facilitation because facilitation is an act of love. But also because we spend the first part of the podcast talking about love. The love of partnership and relationship.

Alia is an immigrant from Morocco. She’s also queer. Queerness is not an easy thing to negotiate in many traditional cultures. We talk about how she found her way to live in truth and stay a part of her family. And we talk about the beautiful love between her and Alixa. Something that I can relate to, having found Tuesday (yes, that's her name), true love in this lifetime, myself.

You will feel how it all weaves through, how these things are not separate from each other. And hopefully you’ll end the episode inspired to live even more deeply into your own truth.

I am two years away from 50. I find this to be a great thing. There is nothing quite as beautiful as the process of learning to live.

It also means that I am subject to the same marvel and challenge that every generation must face. The young will come, and they will want something different and new.

A tension arises that demands we stay in it. There is a wisdom that comes with experience, invaluable things that must be preserved, and there is a wisdom in letting go, and allowing what’s new to emerge.

I have not always handled that tension well. And I often have to ask myself: am I taking a stand for what is true and what is good? Or am I that curmudgeon middle-aged man in resistance to the new?

This is why I make it a point to make sure to interview some younger people on the podcast. And I am inevitably blown away.

This conversation with Kate Morales moved me to the core. I can honestly tell you I grew from it. That I’m still integrating lessons learned from this beautiful talk between kindred souls.

Kate is a Somatic Scribe. And when I first heard it, a small part of me was like “do we really have to change the term for ‘graphic recorder,’ the person that uses images to capture what is going on in a group.

Then I learned what Kate meant. And part of me shook with realization. Kate stands in a lineage, in a way that precedes conferences rooms, retreat centers and even writing.

Kate’s body is sensing in the way of the ancients. They are channeling what cannot be spoken but can only be seen.

Kate lives a courageous life, experimenting with ways of being that aim to unlock from the consensus trance that defines our culture and our day. They are a young person whose very presence is a “yes” to life and to what is good.

You will learn from Kate. And you will want more of them in your life.

Enjoy!

Earlier this year, I invited you to join me in a set of dialogue sessions to help deepen my understanding of John Verveake’s work on ritual.

Cecily Engelhart was one of the people that responded to the call. Our spots were already full, but something about Cecily’s email caught my attention. She was talking about grief and the way ritual was an essential part of her own dealings with loss.

I knew I had to talk to her.

The more healing work I do with others, the more clear it is to me that life will break each of our human hearts. We all experience loss, too many of us experience horror. Trauma grips our young heart, often at very young and tender ages. And we lack access to the language and, most importantly, to the tools and rituals to help us process grief and turn it into wisdom.

Our capacity to heal, to experience post-traumatic growth, to become strong, wise and whole every time life breaks our heart, that too is an essential part of being human. It is the very process that makes us full grown humans.

Cecily is Native American, she is a member of the Lakota nation. She is blessed by an unbroken lineage of people who refused to forget the role of ritual. And in this interview, she shares her experience with us.

I met Cecily through her work at HOPE Nation, where she partnered with my friend, Stephanie Gutierrez, also interviewed on the podcast. And right now she is lit with a fire to live her vocation as coach and creator of Dream Life Strategic Planning (https://www.cecilyrose.co/). A process designed to help you bring ALL of your life’s experience to the fulfillment of your dream life.

Enjoy our conversation, and please share it with a friend if it is something that moves you. Friend to Friend. That’s the way the good stuff spreads.

I’ve known Giovanna Negretti for at least two decades. She is one of those Puerto Rican women possessed with passion, focus, commitment, perseverance and a charisma for leadership that makes her unstoppable.

I have witnessed her growth through many leadership roles. And I was thrilled to interview her as she stewards the Online Progressive Engagement Network, a community of organizations wielding digital campaigns for progressive change all over the world. I think of her work as an essential counter-weight to the global rise of authoritarianism.

OPEN is an important container where rich country democracies and the democracies of the post-colonial world can exchange ideas and strategies for bringing people together in service of progressive change. About a decade ago, I had the privilege of facilitating the gathering that gave birth to OPEN. And now, my friend Giovanna serves as its Executive Director.

Giovanna has also held a commitment to the cause of Puerto Rican Independence for as long as I have known her. A topic we also cover in this wide ranging conversation.

You’ll be inspired by Giovanna. And you will find something meaningful here, as two old friends in the work of social movement each keep finding our way to the wisdom of kindness, care and compassion that should always be at the center of any effort to make our world better.

Enjoy!

Would you rather have an ally or a friend?

I’ve been taken by this paradigm shift of a question from the moment I heard Rinku talking about it.

She says that an “ally” is too low of a bar, like taking something off the shelf and putting it back if you don’t like it.

So what happens when we talk about friendship instead?

What happens when we are in authentic relationships with the people we are building movements with?

In my mind, EVERYTHING changes. We are playing an entirely different game. And it includes being more human, together.

I am blessed to call Rinku a friend. I know you will appreciate this episode. I feel it is very much aligned with the work Tuesday and I have been doing to re-imagine the racial justice conversation.

She is an Indian-American author, activist and political strategist. She was born in Kolkata and moved to New York when she was 5 years old.

I met her 20 years ago when we both served on the Board of the Schott Foundation for Public Education. Today she serves as the executive director of Narrative Initiative. She is also the co-president of the Women’s March Board of Directors, former president, and executive director of Race Forward as well as publisher of ColorLines.com and Mother Jones magazine.

Enjoy, and…

Make FRIENDS!

Gibrán

You can find remarkable people in every corner of this planet. Many of these people have something in common. There is a spirituality about them. They seem to be motivated by the call of something greater. They seem to live their lives in the context of a bigger story. A story that precedes them, and will go on after them. They are on a path of awakening to wisdom.

I met Khadra Ali in 2014. I’ve always been struck by the light that radiates from her face. I have also been intrigued by how she keeps traditional, religious, ways of Islam and remains so open to so much that fits outside of her tradition.

I have to brag and say that Khadra was part of the original, FIRST, cohort of the Evolutionary Leadership Workshop. It is an honor and a blessing to count her among our accomplished alumni.

Khadra is doing amazing things. She works with the Youth and Innovation Team at the United Nations Population Fund, and she is based in Mogadishu. She is also dreaming up an organization called “Toos,” which means: Wake Up!

Khadra is part of the passionate generation of migrants, who came West as children and returned to their homelands as adults. They share the privileges they’ve been afforded just by living in the rich world.

Khadra shares the story of leaving her motherland, and of the advice her grandmother gave her: stay true to your religion. It is a powerful charge from one's elder. And Khadra has stayed true to her grandmother’s direction. While also finding ways to dive beneath what is traditional. Her authentic relationship with God keeps her tracking for the pathways to awakening.

Religions of each and every ilk have managed to corrupt themselves into systems of myopia, self-righteousness, and oppression. But they still come from wisdom traditions.

You can find wisdom in ancient stories. You can find healing in time-tested practices. In prayer, contemplation, meditation, acts of collective worship, and adoration. These are patterns that we find through traditions that have stood the test of time.

Getting wise is not an option. It is a necessity. It is how we become good ancestors. It is how we learn to contend with life itself. It feels to me that this is what Khadra is aiming for. 

Get to know her. She is a soul worth knowing. Get a sense of her light.

We are among the richest, safest, most privileged humans to have ever walked the earth. We are also the loneliest and the most anxious. We are the most medicated and most depressed.

We are also the only humans managing to steal from our descendants (that means our children, our grandchildren, and their children and grandchildren) at such a scale and such a pace that our species could die away.

Are we doomed, or, is there a way to have an economy of abundance that nurtures well-being?

This is where my friend Stephanie Gutierrez comes in. She is a member of the Oglala Sioux Tribe of South Dakota. And one of the founders of Seven Fires [LINK]. “Guided by the matriarchal belief that healing our relationships with ourselves and each other will restore much needed balance and reclaim our sovereignty as Indigenous peoples.”

This is work that centers Indigenous people, but it is work that has the potential of helping to decolonize our collective imagination. It means shifting the notion of “economy” to reflect the fact that We Are The Economy. It means living in the practice and understanding that every single one of us has a role and responsibility to be good stewards of Mother Earth.

Now is the time to support the solutions our Indigenous communities have been lifting up since time immemorial.

I met Stephanie when I was co-facilitating a two-year fellowship that she was a part of. We have been in relationship since. I have always been struck by the open-hearted humility with which she holds her genius. Her creative gifts and the power of her smile are nothing short of medicine for those who are lucky to know her.

This interview takes a little bit of time to pick up steam. We start our conversation with too much “organizational” talk. But it does not take too long for it to pick up steam. Stay with us to get a real sense of Stephanie’s magic. It is always helpful to learn what human beings are able to overcome. The ways voices of spirit, moon and ancestors are always speaking to us. This is wisdom that we all need.

Enjoy! And let me know what you think. Your feedback and encouragement are always invaluable.