[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

{Gilligan’s island B-Side}


Listen Later

Seven people set sail on what is scheduled to be a three-hour sightseeing tour on the charter boat The Minnow, get caught in a storm and end up stranded on an uncharted tropical island together. The comedy comes from the failed attempts at escaping the island and the interaction of the very diverse group: comprised of a rotund but happy-go-lucky skipper, Jonas Grumby (known as "The Skipper"); his bumbling but well-meaning first mate, Gilligan; a snobby well-to-do millionaire, Thurston Howell III and his wife, Lovey; a buxom sexy movie star bombshell, Ginger; a high-school science professor, Roy Hinkley (called "The Professor"); and a nice country girl, Mary Ann.



Tik tock

Cause my wig rocks

Big clock

like Beach:

I flip-flip



Got you feelin silly

pick-pocketed

I sky rocketed

took off, of course i did

horse and carriage

porridg e and shit

Write stories your old nightmares

Might be scared of

Fairytales r us

there beware of us

Secondhand deadmau5

(—it's like a reverb.)

The wheels are turning

However slowly

The lights are on

But they're all flickering

Someone's home

(Or someone's gonna be)

Not sure if this works

What is this atrocity.

It's the original.

I exacerbated the situation;

Eggagerated the circumstances

Circumvential quantum physics

Consequential severance packages

Actual reality actually

(Whatever that is)

Whatever happens naturally

Or habitually, intrinsically

Environmental enemy,

Anerobic catastrophe

Everlasting elastic

Classic satellite image

Interesting,

Interateller

BODY BY Ū,

NOT VICTORIA'S SECRET

STOP HACKING MY GOOGLE DOCUMENTS AND STEALING SHIT.

YOU'RE A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION:

GET YOUR OWN IDEAS.

we have money, not ideas.

hm.

you should look like this model.

thats a 9 ft tall toddler from Sweden

look like her.

ok. Pay for my nutrition.

hahaha. Work for it.

these vitamins are like half my paycheck

ok.

I also need super greens

why

cause that's food

huh. Don't eat food.

what.

I'm an advertisement.

what.

LOOK LIKE THIS.

00

....

000 (but she's black)

...

BODY BY VICTORIA

so like...nothing.

nothing. I want no flaws. No stretch marks. No rolls, no...

Fuck you, dude.

NO. STAY TRAPPED IN YOUR BODY.

Need this sauna…

WE DONT WANT YOU HERE.

Kayla Lauren.

Okay, ouch, but I'm finally—

TYLA.

Ok. So I should just kill myself?

Just kill yourself.

Yo honestly

Just be happy to be free.

You can have everything in the world

But love is all you really need

—you can love yourself all you want,

But it's not really validated

Until someone else does it

—and depending on what kind of person

The person that loves you is

Dictates what you are so if

Likeness is what you attract—

—coughing people—

—dirty homeless hobos—

—generally unsavory in general—

Then you must not be so beautiful

As you wish you were

If I were Tyla

I'd be wifed up

White is right but

Time is precious

Why waste life just

Starving, counting calories?

But why would I be fat again

When likeness is what you attract

And with my fat I attracted

A wife beater.

Well, damn.

What.

Well, now I'm depressed.

What, why?!

Here, make music.

Ok.

Algorithm: Pop ups?

No, block them.

Okay, but—but what about your downloads?

Fine, don't block them then.

Pop Ups: These girls are all prettier than you.

Stop it,

POP UPS: does it depress you that you don't like look like thie?

Stop,

POP UPS: kill yourself.

OWSLA, circa 2019

WE DO POP UPS.

uh, okay. I just need a job.

HIKEII: WE ARE CLOSED.

what? But Google says—

BYE.

OWSLA

everyone over here is hot.

I see that.

OWSLA

And smart.

I just need a job.

OWSLA

I'm Coughs.

Ok..

COUGHS

I might have put a curse on you.

Ok.

*coughing people everywhere*






MODELS: I'm a body.

Ok.

Can I die now?

NO. JUST WORK OUT.

But there's like people following me coughing.

So?

It hurts.

It HURTS?

It hurts a lot.

Okay, so this curse reversal should make sure that everything in this curse unravels and spirals backwards.

Cool.

DIE.

I really don't care about being smart or having a personality. I just want a nice body.

Get a job.

Ok.

So if I work minimum wage for the next year.

Uh huh

And don't buy anything…

Hm…

Well, what about music?

What about music?

If you're working minimum wage full time when are you gonna make music?

Well.

Once I can afford my new body…

Colombian?

Nice.

(Good coffee. )

It won't matter how much time or effort I put into my music, because once I have a nice body.

You look really young.

Thanks.

Everyone will start to do everything for me.

Thanks.

MY PLEASURE.

…okay. Creepy.

Doors will open.

Thanks.

NO, THANK YOUUU.

WHY ARENT YOU RUNNING?

  1. AM. IN. PAIN.

    What.

    You have to wear swimwear in the sauna.

    What.

    It's swimwear only.

    I've been doing this for months in exactly this way. When did the rules change.

    Fuck you, wifebeater.

    So you're allowed to hit a woman?!

    Might I remind you, Chris Brown is still on tour.

    Oh, look: here's Tyla again.

    The Illuminati set you up.

    I see that.

    So basically—

    Yo dude, if I kill myself, the industry is going to make so much money off of this project.

    JUST KILL YOURSELF.

    *Hostility in Public*

    DO U HATE ASIANS.

    Um. I hate when—

    —people—

    I don't care what race they are

    Do that.

    STOP ASIAN HATE.

    Ok. Stop being hateful.

    *coughing, pushing, shoving, cutting you off*

    I literally have to wait until the last minute to get off the train so that—

    Fuck, there she goes

    STOP FOLLOWING ME.

    ITS OK TO NOT BE OK. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. TAKE THESE PILLS.

    tell me where it hurts.

    Homelessness, poverty…

    Ok, take these.

    Now how do you feel?

    …wh—? Huh.

    How you feeling?

    What is “feeling”?

    How are you feeling

    TYLA: I GOT WATER,

    I GOT A GRAMMY AWA—

    they had to edit in applause and crowd approval because honestly

    ILLUMINATI

    OKAY, BLACKS: HAPPY BLACK HISTORY

    AMAZON

    BLACK IS ‘REMARKABLE'

    what.

    so how many slaves do you own.

    They're not “ slaves. “

    Oh, I'mma just get that on my next paycheck.

    BILLS.

    lol

    Or the next one.

    TYLA: I GOT WATE—

    Fuck this.

    The industry planted this.

    Why would that happen.

    JUST KILL YOURSELF.

    EAT THE CAKE.

    NOO.

    JUST EAT IT.

    Woah, that got deep.

    Not really. Tina Turner

    Huh.

    Tina, Tina, Tina Turner—

    Oh, Desiigner.

    The Design

    I'm gonna need a designated driver.

    How are you still alive,

    JUST KILLYOURSE—

    I just wanted you to know the caucasians are going to continue to win the race war for so long as they are making the important political decisions in social justice, equality, and feminism, which means—

    ACT RIGHT .

    WHAT'S WRONG?!

    YOU'RE DANGEROUS!!!!

    No, I'm just hur(t)

    DIE.

    What.

    DIE.

    And that-/

    TAYLOR SWIFT WINS! AGAIN!

    WOAH! THAT'S A RECORD.

    EVERYBODY

    WHY.

    Fuck it,

    My great-grandmother was a 3rd generation plantation slave… i'm nominating my baby.

    Is it reparations if we just give out academy awards as consolation prizes for—

    EAT THE CAKE—

    —NO—

    EAT IT.

    this is a black man.

    Ok.

    He is now allowed to have equal responsibility, however not equal power to the white man.

    Actually, my wife makes all the decisions.

    GOD

    Ok. Look. I'm gonna give you like a 3 foot long dick. Don't kill anybody with it.

    Haha :

    She cheated on you with a

    He cheated on you with a

    BLACK MAN?!

    WHITE GIRL?!

    Woah.

    What:

    Look. I got a problem.

    What.

    I don't make my own energy.

    Why?!

    Don't know how. Everyone just always gave me everything—

    I love you

    She's so pretty

    I like blue eyes best!!

    TAYLOR SWIFT AGAIN!

    WHY?!

    Cause she's special?

    What's so special about

    T-SWIFT FANS

    BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT GENIUS

    (Fun fact: 99% of Taylor swift fans look like Taylor swift)

    Are any of these black

    Some, but mostly gay males and adopted mix race people.

    Can I have this.

    NO PUT IT BACK.

    Don't beat your baby in the store like that

    YOU AINT MY MOMMA

    No, but at this point I'm certain your “momma” might have beat you in a grocery store and knocked the common decency out of you.

    Please be quiet.

    MORE AWARDS FOR—

    Okay, what do TYLA's fans look like?

    Computer algorithms, manipulated streams, fake news articles….

    Oh, so the industry set this up just cause

    We know you're wondering about Skrillex.

    Not really.

    Well, here he is:

    ILLUMINATI

    This camera is owned by a bank!

    SKRILLEX

    so am I.

    ILLUMIMATI

    So what would you like to say right now

    SKRILLEX

    I'm from LA so—

    I'm from LA so

    If you don't look like the girl from the opening credits

    Of GTA 5

    Just waking up

    Don't even talk to me.

    I'm from LA, so

    Homelessness is everywhere, but you can't talk about it

    That's career and social suicide

    I'm from LA, so

    I was pretty much a shoe-in for the industry's best boy from birth,

    Sometimes you're adopted and it works out for the very best—

    And hey,

    All that “bullying” I went through

    And teenage angst

    Worked out for me!

    I'm from LA, so

    I grew into the nose I always hated,

    Or changed it

    Doesn't matter, though

    Cause the only thing you'll ever notice about me is my —

    everything, because I'm famous.

    So

    I can't really leave my house just anytime, anymore—

    There's gotta be plans for that

    Or

    I stay posted

    I stay moving

    I keep it pushing

    I stay insulated

    Can't trust anybody

    She's perfect but doesn't know how to love

    She loves be but only because of my money

    My money only goes so far and I have to pay everybody

    I'm from LA, so

    Nothing too crazy

    But hey, I'm Skrillex so

    “Nothing too crazy” could literally be

    Your definition of the best party that ever happened,

    But didn't—

    Cause you weren't invited and—

    Wouldn't be cause

    There's no fat girls anywhere

    Cause fat is ugly, cause

    I'm from LA, So—

    ILLUMINATI

    So your studio isn't in your house, is it?!

    SKRILLEX

    which house?!

    ILLUMINATI

    Hahahahahahah

    SKRILLEX

    whatever

    EAT THE CAKE

    I hate you.

    Good, get away from me.

    I never had a chance

    I should have killed myself at 7

    When my hanging belly started to

    Cause the pain that makes

    Running a Madonna feel insane

    (And surfing almost impossible)

    But now we're gonna talk about it.

    You can't leave your houss now,

    There's too many coughers

    It could be your shaman ex husband

    Or gangstalkers

    But it doesn't matter

    You're fame watching the

    Lamest gain accolades

    For being paid to cause pain

    To patrons for payroll

    Wait, so—

    This is all because

    Doesn't matter what it's all because

    I'm not mad at my mother

    All she wanted

    Was a daughter

    That sung Water

    And won a Grammy

    Did start to impress my mother with my weight loss

    But saw the spark of satisfaction as she realized

    I would never be as perfect or hot as her

    My skin is stretched out too much

    Makes everything hard for me and

    I'm not wearing a swimsuit in the sauna

    Just so the Illuminati can corner me with some

    Hot girl robot

    And some

    Demonic mother fucker

    With no light in his eyeballs

    Can start coughing up a storm,

    When all I wanted in first place

    Was his arms around me

    Not to run back to a husband

    That doesn't love me

    I don't want Sonny no more

    And I don't want water

    I just want off this earth

    Cause it's waging war on my mind soul

    And body

    Just give it to Starr,

    He should want it

    I should warn you,

    I love everything about my

    Sun comes up in the morning

    Not tired enough to fall back into a coma

    Could do some recording

    But

    So it seems like

    So wait, he doesn't want me back

    But he's still using this curse on me

    This is a death curse.

    I own this soul, it belongs to me.

    You can only have your ex husband.

    What.

    Nobody else is going to love you, ever.

    Ok.

    And he has a girlfriend, so —-

    She's not going to allow him to answer his phone when you call.

    Ok.

    So. Kill myself.

    Just kill yourself.

    Hey, I know you worked really hard to lose all that weight but—

    You'll still never be good enough.

    Ok.

    Here's a consolation prize tho:

    Now you can think about —

    A N X I E T Y

    I just want to die

    So die then.

    ALGORITHM:

    According to this data—

    Youre

    black

    According to the data that programs me—

    The blacks suck.

    So you suck.

    Ugh.

    ALGORITHM:

    According to this data,

    You're a woman

    According to the data that programs me—

    White women are the most highly coveted and respected—

    You are a black woman

    You will always come behind

    (And be lower than)

    The white woman

    I don't know what I would do without my wife. She makes all the decisions.

    YOU WOULD RATHER BE WITH THIS UGLY BLACK BITCH?!

    No! I'm sorry! I love you! She's nothing to me!

    You want this?

    No, this is trash to me.

    I'll take it.

    I'm from LA, so—

    Stop eating

    Never sleep

    If you don't have money, get some

    Get off my dick

    Don't ride my coat tails

    You don't know shit about me

    I'm from LA, so

    You can be 115-120 pounds but no more than that really,

    And even so once you get to

    Hollywood celebrity red carpet women weight average

    120

    Just be okay.

    I'm not okay.

    That's a problem.

    You can't be a rockstar and have children.

    I'd rather have kids.

    Too bad, you're a rockstar.

    WORK HARDER! WORK HARDER!

    But she's not working at all!

    SHE'S WHITE, SO SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU.

    I HATE WHITES.

    Great, that allows them to keep treating us Like we all do.

    I'M A PROUD AMERICAN!

    GET A JOB!

    Pay my bills!

    CORPORATIONS

    …we need more slaves.

    This job doesn't pay enough.

    MASS IMMIGRATION

    Wtf.

    You didn't want the job.

    No, I wanted the job. I just wanted to get paid more.

    This whole house cost $10,000 pesos

    Oh, for real.

    That's like one paycheck.

    Fuck it, let's go.

    THIS IS TOO MANY PEOPLE, WE ARE AT CAPACITY.

    I just want to unload this whole syringe into my favorite vein and hope to God it doesn't collapse again.

    Fuck dude, I hate this.

    It's literally just you, something is wrong with you.

    Here, take this.

    It makes it worse!

    lol. Ok.

    LOL, OK?!

    I'm racist. Fuck you.

    What.

    You're dangerous.

    What.

    You're scaring me.

    What.

    I hate you.

    Oh.

    How do you feel?

    So we can't continue mass incarceration, because at this point, it's cost us money.

    Right,

    Because the people were mass incarcerating are typically living in poverty.

    Uh huh.

    Because we made sure that after they built and maintained everything…

    Yep.

    We made sure for the next 200 years to let them know

    We don't want you here.

    But I just sat on a train full of coughing people just to come here.

    You have to wear a bathing suit at least.

    Now they're strategically targeting my mental capacity by using loud sounds and consistently manipulating me to cause a constant state of anxiety and panic.

    Oh, and pain.

    It's psychological warfare, this is literally torture.

    Truest me, if I could burn off this body, I would

    I have.

    But all that's left is

    Skin.



    I'm not taking out my body in a bathing suit after being shown Tyla's!

    WHY?!

    TYLA

    I GOT WATE—

    Actually, you know what? I quit,

    What?! You can't quit, we're not done torturing you.

    Well, I quit.

    You don't want Dillon Francis?

    No, I did, but obviously—

    This is going to be really funny.

    It's not funny. That hurt my feelings.

    White girlfriend.

    Of course

    Blue eyes.

    Yeah, I bet.

    Perfect body.

    Ok.

    Not you.

    Ok.

    How's Skrillex?

    I'm from LA, so—

    It just became ok to look like Tyla at all.

    Tyla makes music! What about the music!

    Fuck her mysic, if she was ugly nobody would have ever heard it.

    GOD

    Here you go.

    It's more than skin deep.

    I'm from LA, so

    Everything we do is pretty.

    Everything is perfect—

    And if you're not, she is

    And they can all be bought

    Women of color in all facets of the entertainment industry are made to conform to a hierarchy of misogynistic race warring—which uses tactical deterioration of mind and spirit by glorifying and sexualizing the fetishized archetype; the competitive aspect being a genetic system of monetary and material worth and value.

    BLACK LIVES MATTER!

    ALL LIVES MATTER.

    HOMELESS PEOPLE:

    Not mine though, right?

    AMERICANS

    You must have done something to deserve this.

    So what are you doing.

    Getting a job.

    I'm from LA, so

    We all have 2 jobs and three side hustles

    And no time

    Cause time is money

    Which is why

    Half of us

    Are in New York

    Half the time

    (Keeps the balance)

    The Grammy's don't matter.

    Your baby didn't write this song, but I get it

    The struggle is hard,

    And now it's over

    So the less tears shed by your daughter

    Who will be poked and prodded

    By the vultures of the only industry

    She may be allowed to succeed in

    Because of her color

    It is competitive.

    But what do you do when you lost the body composition contest at 7,

    And by your 30th birthday that's all that mattered—

    And as you prepare to close out this podcast

    You have all the time in the world

    To look back on

    How it always was

    A body competition you didn't realize you were already losing

    That

    Your body would be your prison forever

    That

    Every scar is a flaw and

    That

    Your first love was named Starr so,

    It's his world.

    A man's world.

    So.

    Miley Cyrus still looked more like Hannah Montana when Bangerz

    —With a Z?

    —Probably.

    Came out…

    What is it about her?

    I think it's her eyes.

    Ok. Well. Skrillex gets a pass because he's Skrillex— obviously God loves him more than all of the rest of us.

    [the reject pile]

    But Dillon Francis is dead to us.

    Tattoos everywhere?

    All over.

    Wild eyes?

    They're so, like —

    Heavier on the eyeliner.

    You don't want any of these bodies?

    No, not really.

    They want you.

    They haven't seen it.

    You look good to me.

    NAKED:

    It's not that bad.

    ***the shit you say when***

    It's pretty bad, I just won't want you to panic.

    Men can only love bodies.

    I fell in love with her soul.

    Really? Cause. I put the same soul in like 10 people before this one and you're just now about that life,

    What? Really?

    I wanna touch your soul.

    Damn, why are black people always playing mind games with each other?

    Made you look.

    Ugh.

    Go over there.

    Haha. I control you.

    Okay. You can't have this much power.

    CAN.

    Can't. Your dick is 3 feet long.

    I AM GOD.

    No, I'm God.

    MOREPOWER.

    What's that over there?!?

    Made you look.

    It's all games, but if i'm being honest—

    At least Becky is predictable.

    What.

    Look. Karen is Karen because I already KNOW how you're gonna react if I—

    YOU CANT DO THAT.

    I can—

    NO, YOU CAN'T,

    I'M IN CONTROL.

    My wife makes all the decisions.

    I'm gonna have to ask my husband.

    I CONTROL YOU.

    No, you don't,

    MY HAIR IS REAL. YOURS IS FAKE.

    Well, that's because my real hair is—

    I'M OFFENDED.

    Exactly.

    Racism: Intolerance

    I don't like it,

    Why,

    Cause.

    Why:

    I don't like it.

    I don't support immigration.

    (YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!)

    So we're allowing the importation of hundreds of thousands of

    [underpaid corporate slaves]

    Who have already been programmed to

    [BUY NIKE]

    Si.

    [You need an iPhone]

    Habla me.

    From even more deeply racist and misogynistic countries—

    ¡Cerrado tu boca y mira mis ninos!

    Ugh.

    Did you know Latinos also hate the blacks, for the most part?

    AFROLATINOS

    WE WANT REPRESENTATION.

    LIN MANUEL MIRANDA

    Ok.

    30 years ago:

    What is “Afro Latino”?

    [Nonexistent]

    What is

    [X]

    Check the box.

    Why do you need to know what race I am?

    So that the algorithm can program you.

    Why.

    BUY THIS!!

    TAKE THIS PILLS

    BUY MAKEUP

    YOURE UGLY

    DONT BE FAT

    BLACK POWER

    ALL LIVES MATTER

    Hey,

    WHAT?

    Where are all ya'll's kids?

    …wait…

    POOR PEOPLE

    I don't know. I'm at work.

    CELEBRITIES

    I don't know. With the nanny.

    Kanye, where are North and Saint right now?

    KANYE

    Ah huh.

    You realize the only reason I'm doing this is to

    Get stuff for my kids,

    I'm not white so you're not going to pay me enough for this to pay my rent

    But I got fired from my job

    Cause my husband hit me

    And I haven't really been the same since

    And

    I'm from LA, so—

    My body is all I have to trade for just this—

    The only thing I want is to be able to make my children happy.

    If you can't afford a baby, don't have one.

    We could afford them—

    And we were getting by on love,

    But we were getting by

    (Kind of)

    I see you have anxiety.

    Yeah, I guess.

    Let me ramp that up.

    Yo, my body is stuck like this

    I can't surf anymore

    I can't pop up

    Everything's in a size extra small

    But I'm still not flat

    All I really want to do is

    Fall in love and be a mother but

    The only way that happens is

    This music and

    My body's tired, yo.

    I did all this myself so far.

    I raised my mother and my husband

    Now my son's more like a brother

    And I don't want anything more than just to

    Make him proud of me.

    He could do music

    I love his singing voice

    But who knows:

    He might be an athlete

    He might be a doctor or lawyer

    He could be

    A scientist

    I'm from LA, so

    I would trade it all for the perfect body

    I would do anything just for someone like Sonny

    To love me

    Oh, you're a gold digger

    It's not about money, but

    I'm from LA, so

    It's about survival

    All the celebrities girlfriends are interchangeable

    You have to fit in

    For someone like him

    To bring you around his friends

    Because

    He wants to impress them

    He has to

    Because

    He's from LA, so—

    So this is not a job?

    Actually? Pays less than McDonald's.

    Working at McDonald's isn't that hard

    But the disrespect is what makes it one of the hardest jobs—

    And in reflection

    You're being disrespected by people

    Who disrespect themselves enough

    To feed their body McDonald's.

    Not just for fun—

    But as food.

    Food is supposed to be fuel.

    What's this.

    This is filler.

    LABELED AS: FOOD.

    MEXICO: (and probably other countries)

    DON'T EAT THIS. THIS IS NOT FOOD.

    Now it becomes a choice.

    OTHER COUNTRIES:

    You can't eat this! This is banned! This is poison.

    AMERICA:

    Can you add a little more depression to this?

    Um, yeah, but—I mean—it's already got a lot of depression in it, are you sure you—

    AMERICA

    Buy our pills.

    I'm from LA, so

    If you don't have a car,

    You will lose this game.

    BUY A CAR! HURRY UP! YOU ARE SLOW! GET TO WORK: BUY MORE GAS.

    We're almost out of oil though.

    AMERICA: add water to the gas,plz

    That doesn't fix—

    BUY MORE GAS

    And double the price plz.

    Ok.

    RICH PEOPLE

    Just work harder!

    What's the problem?!

    Just get a job,

    Just—

    RACISM IS OVER.

    That's it, I'll just be a pornstar.

    White girls make more.

    Why?!

    Cause they're prettier.

    TYLA

    I GOT—



    I'm from LA, so

    I'm not from LA—

    I grew up there

    Cause my mom was a model

    And wannabe movie star

    But didn't make it

    So she put all that on me

    Doomed to fail without trying and

    Please take me—

    You're not going.

    MOM

    You know Jimmy Fallon?

    wtf. why r u asking me this?

    MOM

    His wife is his manager

    Oh, this timeline.

    What a train wreck.

    What timeline is this?

    Like, the actual one.

    Ok.

    He's from LA, so—

    Dillon Francis would need a wife that can do many things for him.

    What. Thought this was about Skrillex.

    SKRILLEX

    My mom died.

    I'm aware.

    Dillon Francis would need a wife that meets the status quo.

    Which one is she?

    Any of these.

    Hm.

    Dillon Francis is an elitist.

    Not untrue.

    Dillon Francis is not racist.

    Kind of.

    I'M NOT—

    Yo, this is culture shock. You're gonna go through some culture shock.

    What. The fuck. Is this.

    Dead on arrival.

    You're too stupid to actually understand what's going on.

    Sorry, I was too busy catching up to people that already lived indoors.

    *cracking a whip*

    YAH.

    HORSE

    Ok, you know what?

    *cracking whip harder*

    YAH! GIDDIYUP.




    Giddiyup and go now,

    Different time different place

    Dang, he plays this song a lot… he must really wanna bang her.

    Down the longest road to nowhere!!

    Blah blah blah I'm a white girl

    This is my song

    Country country

    Ppppppppppp

    Drdrdr

    She's a goddess!

    That's actually the devil but—

    *pretty blue eyes*

    Your God, I guess.

    She's my rock, I don't know what I'd do without her.

    I have him wrapped around my little finger.

    She's so hot,

    Come, boy.

    *passing black girl*

    You are ugly. I am better; I own him,

    He wants me.

    Ok.

    Have you ever noticed that

    Little white girls can get away with anything?!

    MURDER

    CHAOS (without the magic, it's just)

    D E C E P T I O N

    Little white girls can wear dirty, ugly old tennis shoes around town.

    Gross, disgusting, dirty—

    —should be thrown away—

    Tennis shoes.

    She's not worried about spending an entire paycheck on Nikes because she doesn't have to be.

    She doesn't have to concern herself with

    Spending money on

    Changing her hair to suit

    Respectable standards

    Black women wear wigs and weaves because our natural hair genetically makes white women uncomfortable.

    This is expensive.

    The more natural your hair is,

    The less respect and acceptance you will receive from your white counterparts.

    That is, of course, unless something about you is so inherantly black that she can't be a threat to you.

    *presumably

    You see, as a white woman,

    She assumes that she is better than you regardless of your actual skin tone, nationality, or class placement—

    She has been raised to understand that everything is below her—

    The world has always been in her favor,

    So she doesn't have to try hard at much

    (Or at all)

    But her making any effort at all

    Of course

    Is

    “Hard work”

    I WORK HARD.

    WE ARE EQUAL.

    RACISM IS OVER,

    lol, ok.

    You can't go around in raggedy clothes and shoes being black almost anywhere.

    And if you do,

    It's probably because you have to

    Because,

    In the ghetto

    The only way you're gonna get a new pair of kicks

    Is to rob somebody—

    Or get a job

    Time is money.

    Time is precious.

    Just the fact that she can so carelessly do anything is —

    Males: attractive.

    (Because trauma is visible, aka UGLY)

    Everyone else:

    Irritating.

    I love her. She's so carefree and fun!

    Has she ever been called a “nigger”?

    What?!

    Repeatedly? Has she ever been beaten within inches of her life.

    Maybe.

    (Doubt it tho.)

    Aw. That left a bruise,

    …What did?

    Zzz.

    My bi-polar girlfriend broke all my stuff.

    Are you sure?

    Positive.

    Did you cheat on her?

    …Yeah.

    [AMC]

    Is she bi-polar then or just a female you lied to and manipulated to her breaking point?

    I—

    You deserved this. This is valid.

    Oh my God, she's so cute.

    (Very tiny girl)

    I love her.

    She's so great.



    There is no cure for mental illness.

    The majority of mental illness is man-made.

    Mental illness more drastically effects people of color and women—

    Marginalized people, in a structured society where misogyny and idealism

    Cause with intention

    The degradation of the human spirit.

    Love, kindness, and generosity is lost

    To corporate greed, capitalism, and the separation of the classes.

    I'm not good enough, regardless of color

    To sit down in a room with anybody and given any credibility whatsoever—

    But my depression comes from living my whole life on the backburner—

    And when it's finally

    ITS YOUR TIME!

    TYLA

    You're 10 years too late.

    The best years of your womanhood are gone.

    You let him drive your car and he crashed it into a brick wall, and—

    I'm from LA, so—

    The insurance check is worth more than the entire car was in the first place.

    [Happy Accidents]

    A lot of good that does, if the driver is dead.

    Coming up Next:

    Deadmau5:

    A Cautionary Tale



    What is that? Like, a documentary?

    That could be an entire docuseries, but NO.

    Oh, come on.

    Don't go after deadmau5 like that.

    Like what?

    DEADMAU5

    MY HOT WIFE!!!

    [Dad Likes Blondes]

    DEADMAU5

    ***EX-WIFE.

    Look, Skrillex dropped me in here, I'm just—

    I'm just lookin for like a—

    Like a code…

    [C 0 D E S W 1 T C H]

    DEADMA_5

    LOOK AT MY NUTS. AND BALLS.

    You like soda?

    I'm just lookin for a—

    DEADMAU5

    I GOT MODELS!

    Fuck.

    What.

    Do you think it was coughs?



    I don't know, I don't care.

    Just kill yourself.

    *coughing*

    Maybe.

    If she kills herself, I win.

    Have you ever thought about, like—

    Maybe it's Skrillex.

    What.

    In the end.

    —IT DOESNT EVEN MAAAATTTTEEEERRR—-

    Fuck, I miss LA.

    Skrillex.

    Nvm.

    What.

    Fuck it, I'll just go back to my—

    FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH!!!

    *cracks whip harder*

    HORSE

    OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?

    [The Butterfly Affect]

    Effect //

    Affect

    Here, HORSE Can:

    1. Beat the shit out of the dude with the whip and hope that his rage stays contained enough only to murder the man with the whip and not everyone and everything around him.

      I'd burn the world to melt with you..

      That's. Stop it, that's a cookie commercial.

      What.

      You.

      Oh, I got it.

      What.



      .



      1. Stop being a horse.

        What.

        YAH, GI—

        HORSE

        *sighs*

        *cracking whip*

        *coughing obnoxiously*

        Ū

        *sighs*

        SLAVE MASTER

        YAH, NIGGER! YAH!

        *coughing*

        YAH!!!

        *cracking whip*

        TYLA

        I got the—

        YAH-YAH-YAH.

        TAYLOR SWIFT

        Thank you so much.

        C O D E S W I T C H

        *Please do not assassinate me. I am a representative of the white supremacy movement which has elected me as their leader for idealism. Nothing I do is very special,

        I do not***

        wtf, what happened.

        That's it. It just ends.

        I told you Taylor swift was KKK

        I TOLD YOU DILLON FRANCIS IS A GRAND FUCKING WIZARD!

        Snitch.

        Fuck you, I hate you.

        My girlfriend is white.

        What else is new?

        lil bitz

        I started sizing dudes dicks up by the size of their girlfriends.

        If I see you, and your like

        But your girlfriend is tiny

        Is that a kid?

        I'm a just assume you have a weak dick and move on with my life.

        YOU'RE UGLY

        YOU'RE FAT

        YOU'RE SLOW

        YOU'RE BEHIND

        SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU

        no, I'm just poor.

        Poverty is depressing.

        Okay, look.

        What,

        Look.

        What.

        LOOK:

        WHAT?!

        LOOK! WHY ARENT YOU LOOKING?!

        Cause there's nothing to look at.

        Finally.

        This is my penis.

        Approved.

        Nope, I'm staying cellibate.

        You don't want any of these?

        No.

        There's eight million people here.

        The ones I want aren't on the subway.

        Maybe at the Gym?!

        Not this gym, maybe Equinox tho.

        At EQUINOX

        Ugh, there's too many blacks over here.

        Raise the price.



        This is obnoxious.

        Why aren't you stopping?

        In the time I wrote this I could have made, depending on the state, around $30–

        The cost of my new waist trainer—-

        I started in a 3X and now I'm in an extra small

        Which actually fits without too much

        STRUGGLE

        Fuck you and your cake,

        You nasty fucking

        All my clothes are extra small

        All my clothes are extra small

        All my clothes are extra small

        But what he wants is

        Extra

        Extra

        TYLA

        —WATER!!

        [But they're all gone. They're all dead now]

        What the fuck. lol. Why.

        Took too long.

        So. I took too long to finish the festival project because I was homeless, and by the time I finished the project and ended my homelessness, it was too late, the whole thing was just a Skrillex PR marketing stunt to assure that he stayed relevant [because he has enough fans to act as a controller], and the Illuminati is going to tie this all together by literally creating TYLA out of nowhere to say:

        This is you.

        COME ON, YA DAMN HORSE.

        HORSE

        …Ney.

        the music had left me.

        I was no longer in love

        The gym became further away

        The song became harder to write

        With no curtains to shut the world out;

        The cars in the lot are ugly

        Lights flashing

        And the people scurrying about

        Look like roaches

        Through panoramic windows

        I'm just happy

        Can at least close

        The music has left me

        I got no love at all

        My body is rotten

        The further I run,

        I become hungry

        With less to cook with

        Powder

        Scurrying like rats

        Because mice would be more pleasant

        I was no longer in love

        He bought a motorcycle

        Reminders of

        Nothing

        Nothing comes and nothing goes

        I wear clothes in the sauna.

        The scars on my body will give them

        The power to taunt me and haunt me

        Sit in the eyes of comparison

        I just want someone to love me but

        Everyone pales in comparison

        Next to celebrities

        Double entendres

        I don't want nobody

        I just want a body

        So I can trade water for love

        In the long run

        With someone

        Creative

        We were always very purple people,

        Kind of off, awkward at first

        But always stunning,

        sometimes awesome, and

        unwittingly pitiful

        Shit, this was all of us once,

        Wasn't it?

        Survivors of a robbery,

        a foraged soul

        All for one.

        –cool, thanks.

        –gotcha.

        Let me know if you need a moment,

        To collect your bones,

        or co-parent

        You were lost in stardust,

        Moreover, and moreover

        Should you choose to move over

        Or lose to snooze-snore,

        Who are you–

        The store owner,

        or walking

        standing - stuck

        On your sitting duck

        or your shitty portch

        Till they push you off

        Give it all to

        long lost daughters,

        and hallmark cards,

        mall guards,

        and dog- doctors

        Cris-crossing and wish-washing

        Their wish-wells, or start-stopingg

        shift - shaft or walk-crossing

        honorable mentions,

        Till you mention this again,

        –you'll wish you didn't

        (you wish you didn't)

        you'll wish you did if

        Youre in for it as far as I'm in for it

        Or in to it

        It's a big movement,

        Here or there or groovy with

        Whatever's within you

        [The Television ]

        Tell your friends to listen

        and make wishes at intermission

        To pay attention with attentiveness

        To the script and scripture

        Of this, the rapture

        All your're after

        And never have been

        In this revolution,

        As yet to be televised,

        Be advised of the saga in which you are

        But are not watching

        Coming across this

        moment

        I called an iphone recording

        Ignoring that it was once a

        chronological omnipotence

        If possible collective,

        Objective to the subject of

        Suggestion;

        A verbal expression of

        Excess, sensational tales and



        what happened

        it just ends.

        Like that?

        yes .

        It's the end??

        Yes.

        Just like that.

        Yes.




        {Enter The Multiverse}



        [The Festival Project.™]



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        ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

















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        [ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]By Insomniac