Girls Talking Life

My guest today is Desiree Caluza. Desiree was born and raised in Southern California, but came to Ohio for college and has never left. She's an Associate Pastor and Children's Pastor at Newstart Church where she's been working for the past 18 years.

In our conversation, Desiree and I talk about what led her to children's ministry, how that wasn't the path she'd planned on and how we shouldn't assume that just because we're comfortable with something or something is easy, that that's where God wants us to be.

Desiree tells us the wild story of how she ended up as the legal guardian to two teenagers when their father passed away, how it was an answer to prayer in a most interesting way and what it looks like to really be in community with your church family. Desiree shares how she can look back on the events of her life and see God's hand in all the details.

At the end of the show, we talk about contentment in singleness and how Desiree experienced a time of grief where she asked questions like, "Why isn't God answering my prayer? What am I doing wrong?" She explains how time and maturity have allowed her to find joy and beauty in singleness, while still having a desire for marriage and a family of her own. She also gives us some ideas on how to cultivate friendships with your single friends if you're married.

Mentioned in this episode

Newstart Church

Mount Vernon Nazarene University

Desiree's Favorite 5

Reebok Seamless Hipster Underwear

Monat Shampoo and Conditioner

Chronological Bible Reading Plan/The Bible Recap

Meal Prep

Her Workout

Connect with Desiree

On Facebook

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Lindsy Wallace followed Jesus to the margins and discovered more beauty and hope than she ever imagined. Alongside her husband, she is raising five kids who joined their family via birth, foster care adoption, and international adoption. She is passionate about downward mobility, ushering in a more livable planet, and good tattoos. She is the co-founder of the Upside Down Podcast, an ecumenical conversation about faith, justice, and the upside-down kingdom of Jesus.

Today on the show Lindsy and I are focusing on downward mobility and how it has shaped her story. If you aren't familiar with downward mobility, it's basically the opposite of the American dream. She and her husband chose to go from home owners to renters, from a diverse community to a low-income, sometimes dangerous neighborhood, from having middle-class neighbors to living in solidarity with those on the margins of society.

We talk about her time in that neighborhood in Miami, about how when she thought of herself as a part-time missionary, since she was also busy with her five kiddos, her supervisor assured her that she was every bit as effective because she was modeling what it looked like to parent well. She tells us how she became an advocate for safe, affordable housing and we also talk about what it means to shed and spend privilege.

Lindsy's ideas and points of view challenge me in the best way and hope they will challenge you too.

Upside Down Podcast

Dean Brackley

InnerCHANGE

Matthew 25:35-40

'For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'

All My Relations Podcast

Voices Rising – Servant Partners Press

The Bail Project

Beating Guns by Shane Claiborne and Michael Martin

Giving up Instagram for Summer

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Hollie joins me on the show to share her story and her organization. Hollie is a human trafficking survivor. She's also a legal advocate for the City Prosecutor's Office, a speaker, a college student, the executive director of a nonprofit organization and a lover of Brussel sprouts.

Hollie starts out by describing her childhood and painting of picture of how a little girl could travel a path that leads to drug use at the age of 11 and prostitution by the age of 15. She talks me through what it was like to live as someone else's property and to be so deep into that existence that it felt like there was no hope. Hollie shares how she came to choose the faith-based dorm when she was sent to prison and how God broke through to her heart and changed it.

After 17 years of living this lifestyle, Hollie was able to completely turn it all around. Today she is sober, she's just been accepted to The Ohio State University and she is running an organization that reaches out to her sisters still on the street. They provide hygiene bags, clothes, meals and if a girl is ready, a way out. Reaching for the Shining Starz also supports survivors by connecting them with housing, counseling, education and provides experiences that make them feel loved.

Hollie is a strong-willed, compassionate woman who can overcome anything and she has.

Mentioned in this episode

Reaching for the Shining Starz

Amethyst

CATCH Court

Hollie's Favorite 5

Daring Greatly – Brene Brown

Brussel Sprouts

Traveling

Restoring Broken Relationships

Versace Bright Crystals Perfume

Connect with Hollie and Reaching for the Shining Starz

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Today, Tilly Dillehay and I are talking about envy, the topic of her book, Seeing Green. Tilly explains the difference between envy and jealousy and covetousness. (Did you know they were different?) She shares why she wrote a book on this subject, how it was extremely personal to her and how she has found that many women struggle with this, but it's not something that's often talked about.

Tilly shares her teenage dream of being a jazz musician and how when she heard her younger sisters sing for the first time, she was touched by their beautiful music, but also felt the deep horror that this beauty was so close to her, but didn't belong to her. Tilly tells us how this pain continued and how she pulled away from her sisters, not even realizing what exactly was effecting her. She later came to understand that is was envy, confessed it and worked to reconcile those relationships.

Tilly and I talk about glory and how it relates to envy. In her book, Tilly writes about seven different glories people may have that could result in us being envious. She also tells us that the glory you are pursuing, is the one you would be most likely to see and envy in someone else. Lastly, Tilly shares steps we can take if we find envy in our own hearts.

Tilly holds a degree in journalism from Lipscomb University. In the past, she has been the editor of a weekly newspaper and of a lifestyle magazine, and now she serves as homemaker and mother to two little girls and a brand new baby boy. She writes at www.justinandtilly.com and contributes occasionally to The Gospel Coalition. She is the host of The Green Workshop, an event for women on the subject of envy that is held at local churches.

Seeing Green: Don't Let Envy Color Your Joy

The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis

The Green Workshop

Italian Salad

Gardening

Marvel Movies

Bed and Board

The Last Month of Pregnancy Not Knowing Baby's Gender

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My guest today is Sarah Westfall. Sarah is a faith-based blogger, a speaker and a regular contributor to LifterToday (a Christian lifestyle website) and the quarterly devotional, Light from The Word. She is an Indiana-born girl, wife to Ben and mama to five boys. It's her joy, and it's chaos, but being a parent is what has grown her the most spiritually.

Sarah and I start our conversation talking about her family and what it's like to be a boy mom. We talk about raising our kids up to be the men and women we want them to be and how…maybe we'd like to arrange our kids' marriages.

Sarah and I go on to talk about the pregnancy and birth of her second son, Carter. Mid-way through her pregnancy, she and her husband were given the unimaginable news that their son would not survive after his birth. Sarah shares how they handled that news and what she did in the weeks leading up to his birth. She told God, "you need to be everything that you say you are, or I cannot do this," and He showed up for her in the most profound ways. Sarah tells us what it was like in her birthing room, how strong God's presence was and how they spent the one hour of their son's life.

Sarah and I talk about the following months and what it was like to go back to her life after experiencing such an excruciating loss, what you do when the plans you made and the dreams you had for your family are severely altered. Sarah shares how God continued to give them grace and mercy and how her healing process began.

Sarah's story is painful and unexplainable, but she has chosen to glorify God with it. And whether you're a mom or not, there has been or will be loss and pain in your life and Sarah does such a good job at pointing us toward Jesus in hardship.

The Bible Recap

The Road Back to You

The Path Between Us

Spring Weather

Bubble Baths

She Reads Truth Bible

The Enneagram

Sushi Sunday

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Megan is a writer, podcaster and social media marketer based in Columbus, Ohio. A mom to three little ones, she is a chronic purger, keeper of a capsule wardrobe, and seeker of ways to simplify life.

On the show today Megan and I discuss social media: the love hate relationship a lot of us have with it and how she navigates between her personal accounts and the accounts she manages for clients. We talk about how Megan got into podcasting and why she chose the topic of minimalism. She shares how freeing it felt the first time she paired down her closet to a small number of things that made her feel her best.

Next we chat about where to start if you're ready to declutter (and where not to start) and how not to get overwhelmed. Megan give us ideas about how to encourage our families to think about their things in a minimalist mindset too. She also walks us through creating a capsule wardrobe and we talk about shifting your closet from winter to spring.

Later on, we talk about other ways to simplify your life, focusing on things like your schedule. Megan tells us about her "season of quitting" where she and her husband went through all of their regularly scheduled activities and cut out lots of things that weren't right for them in their season of life. Megan says that minimalism is a journey, it's not somewhere you arrive or something that will ever be complete.

Mentioned in this episode

hope*writers

hope*writers conference

minimalist moms podcast

Capsule Wardrobe

Tidying Up with Marie Kondo

Megan's Favorite 5

The Enneagram

The Bible Binge

The Clockmaker's Daughter

Day One App

The Mom Capsule

Connect with Megan

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My guest for episode #15 of Girls Talking Life is Laura L. Smith. Laura is a best-selling author, sought after speaker, blogger and blessed mom of four incredible kids. She is married to the man of her dreams and lives in the college town of Oxford, Ohio. Laura loves Jesus, coffee, chocolate, music, and France.

Laura and I start our conversation talking about how her identity was misinformed at a young age and how she grew up feeling like she wasn't enough. Laura tells us that to make up for not being enough, she jumped on the performance treadmill where she strived to be better and do more. She continued on this path into young adulthood when she was visited by a friend who God used to show her how valuable she was just the way she was. That friend later become her husband, because who doesn't want to be married to someone who makes you feel so special!

We go on to discuss Laura's writing. She shares why she wrote her first young adult fiction book on eating disorders, and how she went on to write other books for teenage girls and young adults that tackle lots of hard topics and reinforce that you can make it through these situations by trusting in God and who He has made you to be.

Laura and I admit that we're often parent fails, but she shares the things she believes are important for keeping us connected to our kiddos. Things like open communication, honesty, modeling behavior, praying with our kids and just being present.

Miami University

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

Laura's Books

"We all need other people to fully become who God created us to be. Their stories help form our stories. Their triumphs inspire us. Their struggles expand our viewpoints, teach us lessons. Their ideas, experiences, and thoughts prompt and broaden ours. Hearing their hearts reinforces what we hold dear and helps us dispose of ideas we should have never let enter our minds in the first place." Laura's Blog Post, An Introvert's Unlikely Sisterhood

Lavender Lattes

Jeans and Army Jackets

The Voice – The Bundy's

Bethel Music – Victory – Raise a Hallelujah

Becoming Mrs. Lewis

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A trusted voice for Christian women, Alexandra Kuykendall speaks on issues of how faith impacts everyday life. She is the Co-founder of The Open Door Sisterhood, a community of women working to be world changers for good right where they are. She co-hosts a podcast and retreat under the same name. Alex has authored four books: Loving My Actual Life, Loving My Actual Christmas, The Artist's Daughter: A Memoir, and Loving My Actual Neighbor releasing April 2nd. Alex lives in the shadows of downtown Denver with her husband Derek and their 4 daughters who range in age from 16 to 7.

Alex and I start off the show talking about how our paths crossed when I interned for the Open Door Sisterhood as their Social Media Sister. Then we move into parenting. She's a little farther along in her parenting than I am and we are both girl moms, so I love hearing what she has to say on this topic. Alex talks about the expectations we have for our kids and how we respond to them. She also shares what it means to talk to our kids in their "currency."

We go on to talk about Alex's books, why she wrote them and how she believes small changes that are realistic to implement and ones that can be sustained over time are best way to love the life you have. Then we dive in to what it means to love your neighbor, how to go about actually doing it and why it's so important. Alex walks us through the seven practices her new book, Loving My Actual Neighbor, is based on. We talk about what it's like as an introvert to jump into spaces that are uncomfortable and she gives great ideas for practical things we can do to love the people around us better.

The Open Door Sisterhood MOPS International Alex's New Book – Loving My Actual Neighbor The Seven Practices to Treasure the People Right in Front of You Holding a Posture of Humility Asking Questions to Learn Being Quiet to Listen Standing in the Awkward Accepting What Is Lightening Up Giving Freely The Open Door Sisterhood Podcast - Things We Love Episode

Take Back Your Time - book on Time Management Essie Top Coat RevWell TV – Revelation Wellness Dollar Tree Greeting Cards Universal Thread Brand at Target

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Today on the show I'm talking with singer/songwriter Holly Starr. Holly shares about getting started in music, how she ended up opening for LeAnn Rimes early on in her career, and what touring is like for her now. Holly and I talk about how she met her husband and the moment she knew he was more than just a friend. She also tells us about struggling with body image for a season, how God changed her mind and the song she wrote about her growth through it.

In addition to her music career, Holly is also the creator of the YES necklace. She shares how the idea for the necklace came about. Holly describes her relationship with her Grandma Starr and how the necklace turned into, not only a reminder to trust God, but a ministry for widows who are often overlooked.

We talk about what's next for her and I love what Holly says about the idea of writing a book and God's timing. She says, "I'm not going to try and push it. I really want whatever I create to be inspired by the Spirit so I'm just kind of waiting for that assurance that it's what He wants." Such good words!

Holly's song about struggling with body image and the healing that followed – Through My Father's Eyes

Holly's latest album – Human

Run the Race

I Don't Know

The YES Necklace

The YES Tour and upcoming shows

Holly's song about her grandma – Sailing

The Great British Baking Show

Instant Pot

Wool Socks

Nordstrom Rack

Vietnamese Pho Soup

hollystarrmusic.com | theyesnecklace.com | Instagram | Facebook

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Bethany has a Bachelor of Art Degree in Fine Arts from the Columbus College of Art & Design. She provides products, services and education for an art filled life through her business, Artful Interiors, LLC. She is in love with her husband and five children, two of whom are adopted and have unique physical, emotional and behavioral challenges. She hopes to be a catalyst for foster care reform, post-adoptive support and funding for children's mental health programs.

Today Bethany and I talk about how she and her husband have turned their farmhouse, barn and property into a place for gathering and how they host parties that intentionally bring people together.

Bethany shares her story of adopting her two youngest children. She tells us about the process, her shame around the title "foster parent" and how her adoptive children began their lives. She tells us even though being in her family has put them on a different path, their brains and bodies are still partially stuck on the path of their biological parents due to the neglect they experienced. They both suffer from several disorders, but Bethany explains how they're able to move forward as family despite these hard things.

Later on in our conversation we talk about how she helped me take my vision for this podcast and make it reality as she was preparing to teach a course on entrepreneurship. She's also my photographer and the designer of my logo.

Mentioned in this episode

Home Sweet Homestead

Hen Parties

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Reactive Attachment Disorder

Oppositional defiance

ADD/ADHD

Artful Interiors

Connect with Bethany

On Facebook at Home Sweet Homestead (farmhouse parties, produce and products) and Artful Interiors (photography, logos and interior decorating) or on her YouTube channel Home Sweet Homestead 560 (art classes)

Bethany's Favorite 5

Netflix

Group exercise classes – Zumba

Pull on jeans

Botox

Photoshop

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Facebook