Marriage should be a place where you gain comfort and validation for the struggles that come with life.  As my husband and I navigate this midlife journey, the struggles we used to have are very different than the ones we have today. Our bodies have changed. We look in the mirror and see a different version of ourselves that can be hard to recognize. We feel thirty and look every bit of our age. We are experiencing children moving out into their own lives without our constant care, which dramatically changes the role we have played in their lives. While my husband has job security, his workspace is made up of younger and younger employees. Seem stressful? It is. Midlife is no joke. 

While there are so many new opportunities to do new things, grow, and design a new phase of life that is rather exciting, some of these changes can bring up fear, sadness, and feelings of irrelevancy. 

Even though I don’t care for the term midlife crisis per se, I know at times, coming to terms with these changes can certainly make you feel like you are in a crisis.  

It is times like these that we need an extra dose of comfort and to give an extra dose to our spouses. I like to think of my relationship with my husband as my comfy recliner at the end of the day. My safe space. 

I read this the other day: We all want to be known and understood by our spouses. I agree we want to be known, but I don’t think we need to be understood. We will not always understand what our spouse is going through. We don’t always have the same struggles, nor can we fully understand them. My feelings around my children leaving the nest can’t be fully understood by my spouse. I spent my life raising the children as a stay-at-home mom. They were my focus and work. His main job was supporting our family, working outside of the home. While we both miss our grown children, it isn’t the same. My husband is feeling the change of age in the workforce in his profession. I haven’t gone through that, so I can’t fully understand what that is like. So instead of being understood, I believe what is necessary is to be known, loved, and supported. We want to know that we will find love, support, and comfort for whatever we bring emotionally to the table.  

So how can we give and receive comfort during the challenges midlife brings? Here are 5 ways:

For Complete Show Notes go to http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/57