Gleekast

Does

Erica secretly voice the character of Emma Pillsbury? Has Tom Hanks

cheated on his wife? Have the gals missed their real calling in life as

professional sound check performance artists? These and many other

questions you’ve never thought to ask get answered (sorta) on this

episode of GleeKast, where the ladies also delve no-weave-first into

Episode 2.18, Born This Way. We’d say more about it but that would spoil

things, and if there’s one thing Erica and Emily are better than, it’s

overly chatty Glee extras. Visit our forums at palavr.com to get your overly chattiness on, or email us adoration at[email protected].

Otherwise, we’ll stage a flash mob in your local mall in a bid to get

more attention. And let’s face it: that’s just annoying when done not

well. Hear that Howie Mandel?

What’s the only thing more badass than a honey badger on a killing spree? The one and only GleeKast of course! Erica and Emily return from their hiatus with sassy stories of Horror Hound Weekend, tempestuous teases about spin-off podcasts and the audio Internet’s biggest apology of all time (hi Troy’s mom!). Oh yeah, and they also discuss A Night of Neglect, Glee’s trisnoozent return to spring TV! But that’s probably less interesting than Erica’s surprise attack by a giant stuffed bear or Emily’s dog’s ability to break into a locked room. Visit our forums over at palavr.com so that we can feel special and/or email us kindly at [email protected] so that we can be nourished and not neglected. You don’t want us to starve to death, do you? Because then you’d be a bad person, about on par with a heckle-happy teen and that (afterschool special Gwyneth Paltrow voice on) is wrong. Now perk up, send your message, and return to your Mark Harmon-based fantasies. We’ll still be here.

A few months ago, Erica and Emily discovered the new eighth wonder of the world, a little feel-good glitter gun blast of a film known as Burlesque. They recorded a bonus episode wherein both giddily detailed the entire plot in an hour, but really, that’s not nearly enough justice bestowed upon something so wonderful. Hence, the GleeKast gals teamed up with the Podcast Podcast & Co. for a full on COMMENTARY track. HEAR the wonders of FozzieBare’s Cher singalongs. HEAR the power of what pearls feel like in lady places. HEAR everything you ever needed to know about air rights. We recommend queuing this episode up with the film, more because the film is AMAZING than for context, but go jogging with us on your iPod for all we care. So long as you’ve got black lace panties underneath, it’s cool. Studies have also shownthat listening to the GleeKast Podcast Podcast Burlesque Commentary in the waiting room of your plastic surgeon produces an 88% success rate in facial results and a 99% spectacular rate in boob enhancements. So really, what are you waiting for? These sexy squinty eyed bartender songwriters aren’t going to be straight forever.

Bop it to the top, yo! Erica and Emily can’t leave you hanging at the basketball net of life just ‘cause Glee is taking a break. Hence we bring you this Very Special Bonus Commentary on what is undoubtedly one of the main reasons Glee was ever greenlit, the Disney Channel’s highly successful High School Musical. Join the gals as they try their best not to sing along (despite the fact that Emily doesn’t actually know the tunes, having never seen the film before) or confess their own sssecretsss that involve dirtier things than baking and cellos. Throughout our viewing, we also provide play-by-play updates on the developing love affair between Erica and Mookie, a very insistent cat who refuses to be turned down by Erica’s lap. It’s far dirtier than anything that happens onscreen, although we have our doubts about what DIDN’T make the cut. There’s a lot of Vanessa Hudgens hatred and Costas Mandylor dreamcasting, but what else can you expect? So cue up the Encore Edition of High School Musical and press play with us for a deep and dark journey into Scholastic Decathalons, big games, awkward brother/sister romantic duets, botany, and Emily and Erica’s own odd high school experiences (which apparently involved tennis, badminton, and Slurpees). We’ll be back soon with actual Glee-centric GleeKasts, but until then, bop it like a Wildcat.

With bedazzlement firmly in place, Erica and Emily put on their finest bridesmaids/regionals gowns and open their big trouty mouths to dig into the oddly titled “Original Song”, aka the 16th episode of Glee’s 2nd season. Much squealing is sounded for the Blurt consummation, while confusion continues to reign as the ladies consider the mysterious fate of Vocal Adrenaline. Music is discussed at length, culminating in a rather unfortunate revelation about Blackbird and Charles Manson (thanks Wayne) but hey, we get by with our usual rounds of tangents, feedback, and Warbler worship. Send your thoughts to [email protected], join the party at palavr.com, and stay tuned for our Very Special Commentary Bonus coming next week to sate your thirst during Glee’s hiatus. Oh, and Victoria Jackson should go eat a mediocre peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale white bread, then discover the hard way that she’s allergic to peanuts, and just as a nearby friend is about to pump her up with an EpiPen as she suffocates on her own hives, an escaped velociraptor from Jurassic Park should descend upon her and tear her ugly blond head from her psychotic close-minded body. Lastly, Mookie will pee on her. And that’s how we feel about that! Onto Nationals!

Break out those cucumber flavored condoms! It’s time for GleeKast to sex you up, celibacy club and tango style. Erica and Emily pop Episode 15’s cherry pineapple marshmallow fluff afternoon delight with their usual round of tangental too much information. They also sexily sway through Sexy, trying their best not to get too distracted with visions of John Stamos’ lonely hose monster or Matthew Morrison’s open collar. The show closes with an epic round of feedback, of which you could contribute to next week by emailing [email protected]. Party on at our forums over at palavr.com and check out some of our smartypants emailers at their respective blogs:

Wayne Kotke: http://d2rights.blogspot.com

Anna In London: http://gaychristiangeek.blogspot.com

Ashlee: http://buriedinabookcrypt.blogspot.com

Also, check out Ashlee and Emily’s articles in the all-female issue of Paracinema Magazine! http://paracinema.net

And for good ol’ times, here’s a link Harvey sent us that bares a shared sentiment with Afternoon Delight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdFghZmdwXk

Hearts, hugs, and sexy yet responsible veggie tales lessons to all.

Some might blame it on the February blues, but here at the GleeKast, we’ll take any old excuse to blame It (you know, IT) on the alcohol. The girls sober up to tackle Episode 2.14, aka, The One Where Everyone In Glee Gets Really Drunk And We Notice That Everything’s Coming Up Bedazzles. There’s lots of 90210 nostalgia, Blaine swooning, headband worship and fashion judgment, plus a new question of the week to be answered on our palavr.com forums. Drive your non-alcoholic feedback to [email protected] and ask Finn to send your alcoholic feedback to [email protected]. We’re responsible like that. Also, check out Erica’s knew knitting blog over at knitsasmallworld.com. We’ll be back in two weeks with the next new episode, but if you should ever need us, always remember that you are Lisa Simps—I mean, go to palavr.comand hang out on the message boards. We’ll be there. And might be drunk.

How does one locate cat poop when it’s not in a litterbox? Are all kids with cancer full of smiles and cheer? When is a lesbian love ballad not about lesbians? And just how scarring a life experience is seeing Justin Bieber in concert for adult women? These questions and more get asked and occasionally answered on this installment of GleeKast, where Erica and Emily delve con mucho gusto into Comeback, an episode that seems to only have poco gusto. We still get to practice our Spanish though, so that’s a plus. Answer our spicy question of the week over at palavr.com, where the forum boards are buzzing with all sorts of life-changing topics and listener-provided brilliance. Send your feedback to [email protected] if you don’t want us to contemplate sue-icide via gummy vitamins. See you next week, unless we bump into each other before at Kids ‘R Us or the place where all the cool kids will henceforth roam, Color Me Mine. We’ll even lend you a t-shirt (I hear Erica has one from the J. Biebs concert she went to…)

You might THINK that people would’ve had enough of silly love songs, but Erica and Emily clearly see that isn’t so. No. Especially when they delve into the heart-shaped box of non-sucking chocolate that was, well….Silly Love Songs! Crushes are born, new nicknames formed, and a glimmer of hope illuminated for the actual character development of one Lauren Zizis. Remember, you can’t spell woman without a C, can’t cheat on your bee eff without m-o-n-o, and can’t chit the chat about Glee or answer our exciting question of the week without p-a-l-a-v-r dot com. Send your feedback, roses, gold star necklaces, coffee orders, onesies, stuffed dogs representing puppy love, and Gap giftcards to[email protected] and feel ABSOLUTELY free to make a gigantic display of affection in a public arena in the names of us. It will not be too much.

Erica and Emily break out the pompoms and jockstraps for the football-filled return of Glee, an event so epic it requires something even more powerful than a sue-clear canon, namely…well, we can’t really remember because the episode was kind of forgettable. The Sue Sylvester Shuffle, not the GleeKast, which is of course among the greatest dose of ear orgasm you can possibly hope to ever experience in your sad canon-less life. Don’t believe us? Listen and call us liars, we dare you. I mean, we won’t protect you from that 300 pound linebacker if you do and the canon’s children will totally grow up in shame and squalor, but hey, it’s your life. Feedback goes to [email protected], forum fun parties on at palavr.com, and footballs and Cheerios skirts go into your nearest storage facility.