New Sode Glitter Ledger; 

I must be the only person on God’s Green Earth who is so deeply unimpressed with AI. Have you ever heard one of your peers or staff speak with authority on the topic without sounding like a complete pompous asshole with small anatomy and/or a  troubling complexion? 

Alas, I consider myself a deeply attractive pompous asshole with a kind stalker-like disposition . As such, I use ChatGPT like rest of my well bred waspy goldigging alcoholic materialistic sxually starved intellectuals for concoctions on how to seduce a Sheik or for how to leverage all of my alimony into a House in St St. Tropez. Otherwise, I see the AI use cases as a Communist Manifesto; good idea in practice, but everyone ends up #poor. 

 Perhaps automated workflows are uninteresting to yours truly because I have no workflow to automate. Ipso Facto; wake me when #AI can give my husband a uknowwhat and design a powerpoint that designs a plan to launder money for the lazy. 

I digress,, my guest today is a real Crypto Nigerian Prince, side ordered as a well dressed Zoologist turned Ava Labs Executive. Not to be confused with an Avalanche Foundation executive. Yes, Afeez Awowole. He is a sought after guest and heavily edited my questions because most were too personal and likely  indictable. 

 I was looking forward to learning how to cook the books beyond throwing my journals into boiling water. I asked him why #accounting is so boring. I asked how to talk about balance sheets with a hint of mortifying sexual tension. When I was high on quaaludes I took out a mortgage that I made on crayons to buy more #AVAX and could only eat chickpeas and prosecco for 3 weeks. ButI lost a stone so I am bullish. Furthermore, my ex had a penchant for the P-chain.

#Avalanche is the less cute stepsister of #Solana with an Ivy League degree and a #vicodin problem. She has what it takes to succeed with meaningful useless institutional partnerships for real world assets that I cannot melt down into a bullet. Real world assets should not be on-chain and should be in a #vault. Although I have some assets onchain I lost them because it is too goddamn complicated to retrieve. But like #Jesus Christ rising on Easter, Avax too will rise. 

I digress, Awkle met during the early days of Facebook in Ireland, I was working as a cocktail waitress on the lam and he helped set up a sick album. I was desperately in love with him but he maintained that he couldn't marry a married woman . Instead he agreed to help me put my ConED on autopay and teach me the zoology of #Ocelots. 

He is deeply intelligent to the point of sinister intrigue. His accent is a country club pour of Miles Davis meets Michael Saylor meets Liam Neeson. If this Nigerian Prince says Avalanche will change the world then it's indeed time to take out a third mortgage in Cray Paux right in time for Halloween. #GlitterLedger #Avax #AutomateMyPChain

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New ‘Sode Glitter Ledger;  Its Fashion Week where DATS are ala mode on the cover of Vogue. Ipso facto I shall request filing for a DAT all over my body and wrap it in a NVIDIA oil titanium put leveraged on Cote du Rhone and chocolate sprinkles. 

 What's a DAT you may ask. Well I’m so glad you did. I turned to my psychiatrist Dr. Seuss, who has a confusing following as a Nazi Bitcoin Maximalist. But I digress, he requested I open up The CAT in the DAT and read on page 14. 

“It is fun to have fun But you have to know how. That is what the cat said.Then he fell on his head!” -"They are tame. Oh, so tame! They have come here to play. They will give you some fun On this wet, wet, wet day."Oh, the things they will bump! Oh, the things they will hit! Should we tell her about it? Now, what SHOULD we do? Well. What would You do If your mother asked You?

Inspired but confused, I realized that $375 session that had gone to waste could have spent on Bitcoin or quayludes. I then asked my dearest friend Fyre Festival Founder Billy McFarland Together with my bedazzled baccarat magnifying glass his Sharpei intern, we both determined that DATS are cute companies that purchase tokens on their balance sheets to capitalize on adderal spiked price appreciation and then they subsequently dump it in the pubelle. Thats french for garbage can. I am in. 

Oh the things you can think when you think about Seuss!

Alas, Billy and I are throwing a Cat in the DAT Conference on Hedera for Armani RIP. It will be held in Gstaad on a Green Mountain aptly named Galaxy.  

But I digress. 

My guest today is the supremely wonderful Josh Sroge. I interviewed Josh so long ago that just about everything in this episode is now factually incorrect. Do not let this stop you from listening. As most of what I say in the present is wrong. 

Josh is almost as entertaining as I am so the interview is worth a listen if insider info Binance US water cooler alpha intrigues you. 

It does not me.  All I care about is Xanax and Private Jets and Hedera.  

I really wanted to get Josh on the show because I have not had a guest without hair and I want a Hedera Grant so I can finance my 2nd home in Burkina Faso. I queried a critical question where I wanted Josh to determine the answer to who would win in an elegant bar fight between Bitcoin Maximalists, CZ, or Hedera Fanatics. Josh responded with the flair of a disgraced politician. Alas, Josh is a former aspiring local politician, whose campaign I laundered money through to finance purchasing a Birkin and a pack of cigs. 

I digress. Josh is a fascinating melange of the Old School Crypto Bros of yester year coupled with a New Yorker Roc Hudson charm sans homosexuality.  We met on a panel but I was not on it.  He lives in the Caymans for obvious reasons. He had a stint as the CFO slash CEO of Binance US  and currently serves as a Director of the Hedera Foundation. He fits my criteria of financial availability in a mate based on his resume. Thats french for resume. Josh agrees with me that sales is essentially about how thin you are.  The man has the charisma of someone who could sell you a timeshare on Jupiter and has had an enviable career in a space full of many individuals who have needed thousand dollar attorneys. Josh is welcome on Glitter anytime. It was the utmost pleasure. 

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New Sode; The Glitter Summer addition:  Happy Summer from St Tropez Club Sanc un Sanc Everywhere in St Trop -smoking is allowed indoors unlike porn and unregulated wheat puts and nudity on the concord. 

In between unfinished bottles of Dom Perignon and warding of managers of Sovereign wealth fund managers wishing to grind up against me to Usher’s U Got it Bad; I realized I needed a job; 

 It occurred to me in my housewife delirium that I should launch an Anti-Illegal Immigrant Meme coin or Teen Mom meme coin on Base. What’s a meme coin my assistant -slash 4 -year old step daughter asked. I realized I had no idea. I then decided against it when I realized I would have to do work. I also read in People Magazine that Memes are over.

But I digress; my guest today is John Squire; a rather unboring episode, as he kept ranting about Spexi, which I kept thinking he was saying Sexy, so it made for rather amusing follow up queries. John and I met on a mutual family Holiday in the late 80s  at the 4 Seasons Spa in Guantanamo though I was without my family. He clearly has astronomical wealth as there was not a Gucci anything insight and he does not use phrases like “blockchain is the core infrastructure of the next generation of financial rails of the future” that make me dry up and vomit my already vomited martinay.  He has a quiet cowboy ranch work ethic that I wish I could mutually respect and emulate. 

John is the only cool crypto founder whose fund is not 98 percent under (sparkling) water. He is the founder of Blockchange Ventures, but hes cool, man, he likes to be in the trenches with the 

founders and is inspired by their idealistic passion that web3 has a use case beyond Bitcoin and crypto conference panel topics. 

Ipso facto, John is unique in that he also dabbles in curious projects and likes almonds and can talk about topics that excite him beyond blocks that are chained together

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Alas; New sode of #GlitterLedger Buona Sera from my suite in Sardegna Italy where stablecoin slash wedding summer season has been thrust upon us like an ETF wrapped blunt no one asked for.

I am unclear whether stables or matrimony make me want to induce my bulimia more violently but what about when combined into a nonsensical party without booze or pretentious intellectuals.

Alas, I am here and high for a stablecoin themed wedding of two pathetic founders who found love at Fyre Festival. They each attended #Vassar Suma Cum F me, graduating 15 years part each worth half a bill in fiat and had the audacity to have a cash bar with no hard liquor. Sweating my spray tan and botox over fear of having to socialize with my contemporaries with more asbergers than I.   More gauche than #hemorrhoids. Crypto fixes this. Kay Bella. How does crypto fix a cash bar? 

Each themed table is a different stable token including both English and Italian translations; which made cocktail hour less boring but more awkward.  My lover and I were placed at Terra Luna alongside #AyatollahKhomeni and Amy Coney Barret and arbitrary low tier Blackrock analysts.   

I know the bride well as I funded her last scam company liposuction in the metaverse. Her claim two fame was she was Ms Teen Runner up of Beverly Hills, but Like Saylor says there is no second best. We have a long love hate somewhat  lesbionic but glamorous history as during the #Obama years she tried to poison me with Ethereum wrapped sufuric Acid on chain after I slept with her father. But that was only because he was dying and I was trying to get a board seat at lululemon or a chic footnote in the will for the #MarkRothko in their living room. 

I digress, my guest today is one of my best friends Jesuit Julian M Sevillano Sevillano fellow Board Member at PayPal Digital, CEO of Wen Acquisition Corp. Wen Token. He was kind enough to stop by Glitter Ledger Headquarters just as I was coming down from my Lithium Johnny Walker Buzz. We met on a First Class #RedEye From #Burning Man to #Teterboro back when he was at McKinsey and I was at OnlyFans. We bonded over love for rare filet mignon and mutual friends in Argentinian and Wyoming Government. We unfortunately for my sponsors @Casa, Swan Bitcoin, LVMH, and GEICO had to discuss the most boring topics ever like crypto regulation but luckily Julian drops important wisdom like traditional custody is a zero money making business and read good books like  what Got You Here Won't Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith; another friend of the show. 

Thats all for now and see you in Cannes but not for EthCC because ETH is for poor people and I am afraid of getting poisoned for the second time. #GlitterLedger

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New ‘Sode: Good Evening from Wyoming. Land and of #Jesus of Horses and Bitcoin. In my Balmain riding boots, racist politics, and family values- nanny included, I feel right at home in my #PhilippeStarck designed Cabin. 

I come thrice a year anyway to Senator Lummis’ home  armed with #PerrierJouet and impeccably rolled joints to talk cattle and stack stats

Alas, I am on a horrific crypto bachelorette trip for a 'friend’s' 3rd marriage. This group of Bera TradFi Baddies also includes the Princess of Wales, who just turned #10, she's forgoing the Bikini wax and the How- to -Inside Trade on- the -Ranch lecture by Ken Lay. My friend is marrying the CEO of #Ethena, the only one who has made any real money in this spiderweb3 since Hayden Adams. 

Fear not, we are invalidating her prenup by tokenizing it on #Hyperliquid. Princess’ security wore a DOLCE&GABBANA Bored Ape T-shirt and sold at the bottom. He has a soothing voice and read Friedrich Hayek’s Road to Serfdom to me at the foot of my bed before I fell asleep without any sexual tension. 

I have no idea what Ethena does; my quant says that its a synthetic dollar built on ETH which provides a crypto-native solution for money. Mon Dieu! If this is how she is funding her custom made Valentino gown than wrap that synthetic chemical algorithm acid all over my face. As for the ETH, I thought everyone dumped it for Gold and or for a timeshare in Guantanamo Bay.

I digress, my guest today is Kelley Weaver; the White Olivia Pope of Crypto PR. We met at a sober* Law of Attraction -Manifestation -Visualization-Meditation Retreat for beautiful women who like Manolo's and good looking men when Bitcoin was 100 dollars. I dismissed it and instead bought a f*ck ton of #OXGI, but Biotech stocks are always a manipulated bust worse than memes. Lesson learned. Manifest. Bitcoin. 

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New Sode; .Ok so picture this; I am at a sleepover. Cucumbers on eyes.  Politically incorrect Avocado mask to the face. Reading the Bitcoin whitepaper alongside the female clown that I invited to Suite at the 4 Seasons from stepchild’s birthday party. We smoked a bedazzled joint and stacked Sats. It was To the backdrop of Chopin in E minor.  It's a good day to be alive when you’re buying Bitcoins smoking with a clown who also voted Trump. We then ordered room service and danced to Taylor Swift Speak Now. And though it is a different album, it should be noted that We are never ever ever ever ever buying NFTs

In the morning I went to the Salon downstairs to contemplate my vapid existence and a  pedicure. . I chose the toe polish color I trampled my  husband with my Maserati Sha 256. A silvery fiat color.  So I can give my lover, my driver, an elegant footjob under the table at Raos. Suddenly I  felt better or maybe it was the quaalude. 

In 90s chanel,in a quaalude haze in the massage chair turned on high and and sats settled into wallet,  I turned to the clown and asked if she would accept Bitcoin as payment.

 Cash only she said

; Dont’ you want money that cant be tampered with thats portable and fungible and liquid gold? No said the Clown. Give me the Cash.  

Alas, if clowns and pot dealers are no longer taking BTC what’s a wannabe cracked out social climbing alcoholic manic bipolar shoplifting porn/birkin addicted gal to do?

 Sigh, I took out a crumpled hundred that I had taped with blue glitter and paid. 

I trudged to the Lexus and met step daughter at music class.  Insert the tambourine. Insert Raffi. If the clown cannot understand the future of Ai infused quantum sound money then who’s the clown now?

I digress.

 My guest today is Russian Ukrainian Californian Jewish Royalty Tatiana Koffman 

 author of the book the Myth of Money. I didnt read it; but I bought it for the aesthetic. 

Tatiana has an envious career histoire and currently is a partner at MoonWalker Capital. She is Bitcoin only and  everything else is complete Poubelle, that’s french for garbage.  I thought Moonwalker meant she jad  walked on the moon and had alien diet secrets;No. But.  She is relatable due to her witnessing of the collapse of the Soviet Union, her friendship with Richard Branson and her time spent with Billionaire crypto bros in Dubai. I just knew we would be dear friends. Tatiana and I met on a chair lift in Gstaad and we orange pilled each other and the rest is histoire. 

"Had I read Tatiana’s book , I would imagine it is one of resilience, strength, and hope."

But luckily I know she’s a great story teller and you will too. In fact her story is filled with just enough glitz- glamour- spirituality- fraud- crypto celebrity and quantitative easy easing that would make any kind yet vapid party girl almost pick up a book. I  am indeed her new stalker.  XOXO GlitterLedger. 

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New Sode; DAS is (not so) GOOD. I am involved’ with a new CEO of an AI x Crypto project that is a copy French pasta of Fetch AI that accomplishes nothing  dragged me from Gstaad to the filth of New York City Midtown for Digital Asset Summit but he promised me a J12 and PaxG if I was good. Obviously I was not. My Proof of Work is that I did not do any. 

Alas, I felt like John Mayer wandering through the halls of the Javits Center, wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, there is just no such thing.   Is there no more deeply offensive question than “What are you excited about in crypto right now?”  Such a statement to me indicates you cannot differentiate wine varietals, do not have a subscription to Barrons and your porn collection is not international.  In veritas- I'm excited about its impending doom to smithereens with a side order of Depinned Tokenized Real world perps all over my body on a new L2 rolled up on SUI on an AI bot money laundered on a hooker in Miami at the Penthouse in the Faena. Alas, the plethora of stupidity within the web3 ecosystem continues to amaze and inspire me to pivot to something real and pure, like Tether.

But I digress. 

My guest today is the striking barbie doll former Duchess of the Surf Lodge turned career crypto Degen Ms Jessica Rossman.  Do not be fooled by her French manicure and blonde tresses; her pipeline is longer than your term sheet as well as your you know what. I have been a fan of Jessica since the Bush administration, and how could you not, what with her Jewish persuasion, pithy vocabulary, her ana Kate Moss high cheekbones, Bera Baddy accessories and her ability to have every low tier L2 founder salivating at her feet for a .. job at any waking side event- is where her magic only begins

Her illustrious career began where every good story should, working for Diet Queen Tanya Zuckerbrot Dietician to the star as her diamond right hand where Louboutins and size 0 was the office aesthetic, much like Binance.. As a wannabe elitist rich skinny bitch like yours truly,  I followed Jessica’s every move and every bite in an attempt to have the lifestyle that I deserved . Until of course, she was horrifically wrongly accused of being an ADHD pill frontrunner of Ms. Zuckerbrots entire operation by the Diet world’s SBF equivalent named Emily Gellis in a Federal Lawsuit in a pathetic attempt to take Queen Zuckerbrot down. Luckily, like SBF, Emily did not succeed and Jessica escaped unscathed reputation intact and found salvation in being a hot Degen girl in crypto alongside the wisdom to know that the truth, like code, and like Trust Fund always prevail. Jessica now serves as the Business Development Lead at Kadena, a Proof of Work Token that horizontally scales. Jessica is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to conference survival tips, Degen trading, Panel outfits, telegram organization, not letting Federal lawsuits get you down, and most importantly that routine is the death of any existence. Most importantly, Jessica stands by that it is harder to get off the waitlist for a Birkin than to understand building on Kadena. 

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New Sode’:  Bonsoir from me and my AI Agent in my suite in Gstaad. My agent serves a dual position. 1 securing me as an Extra on this season’s white Lotus as the kind hooker and 2 meme coin trades on my behalf so that I have extra spending money to fix stepson’s embarrassing backhand. A true crypto use case.

As I sip my Cote Du Rhone, listening to Tosca kill herself while watching my ETH stagnate, I am hesitant to call Vitalik and ask him to kindly make ETH seem a little more gangster, like a character that should appear on #The Wire, but then I thought against it, as his mother and I are still in a fight but I am much younger. 

 I reflect the fact that conference season is upon us. I have many grievances with Ethereum Foundation Denver and thus I will not be attending and instead will be getting high on Liquid Staking Derivatives in a melange of the ever expanding Solana ecosystem in the confines of my own imagination. My grievances with the EF U are too long that my quill pen will run out before I can front run my trades and My Bulimic MEV bot will no longer be rendered silent. Ipso facto let's start with Denver for the time being;  My grievances include but are not limited to

No get lip injections

No Museums that carry any Impressionists/Surrealists art 

 its policy that I cannot bring my Bedazzled Ak47 into any Panel for my own safety. 

I digress;

My guest today is Hadley Stern a prominent Figure, formerly of the morally corrupt Traditional Finance ecosystem who marinated himself into Marinade. 

What is Marinade? Well, it's a marketplace much like a Bazaar in Turkey where you can get oodles and boodles of yield on your Solana safely and sexily.  

We have a very serious discussion that is actually interesting because Hadley has been in the space long enough to know how to explain cryptomatic themes without driving his audience to drink cyanide out of boredom or confusion. I have been a long time stalker of Hadley's ever since he graced the podcast of #OntheBrink when I stumbled upon this podcast thinking I was going to listen to an episode about how to grapple with mental health due to my unresolved feelings of my ex-husband when in fact he explained how Staking indeed enhances security and injects a new economic layer into the crypto ecosystem.  This ep resolved my feelings towards my ex. Hadley is an expert leader of teams and also skilled in how to handle the relentless crypto-paparazzi.

As such he provided me with some much needed media training before my stint as a guest on  the Real Housewives of North Korea. He has become more than a colleague but not in a Bizarre we need to call HR way, like in normal circumstances concerning me and HR, but in a way that he is my friend and my marinated Solana guru. He is also hella Fun and it is a crying shame that yet another crypto bro remains off the market. #Marinade #Glitter Ledger. 

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Good evening I am back and Oh how I have missed..... most of you. I am pleased to announce that I have officially joined a new crypto company as a paid non paid intern.. I accidentally landed some new employment that I found on Discord when I thought I was logging into my very expensive porn account. Alas.  It is a privilege to be thrust into an industry responsible for banking the unbanked and unnecessary.

To be clear, it is not that I need a job, it was just that I need funding outside of my dwindling Trustfund to support my chronic Degenerate memecoin and Christian Louboutin addiction side ordered with usual sessions with Psychic Derek on Rodeo Drive, who btw says Ethereum is a boomer chain.

I digress. 

Lets start from the beginning. I realized I needed employment for money that I did not want to ask my husband for.I realize crypto fixes this. Yet I had no legitimate interests other than Rich people and scams. 

I am indeed  creepto native. I’ve made out with Do Kwon at the Four Seasons Lobby Permissionless 2017, and I can deposit $1000 dollars of my husband’s money into my Kraken account to buy Pax Gold hashtag Tokenize Atangonize. 

I digress.

My guest today is Sir Joseph Cox, who’s cobalt blue collar background and lack of cartilage in his nose goes well with his startlingly romantic understanding of literature and Patricidicial Operas.  He is our White Knight Sam Bankman Fried meets the rough and tough Mark Wahlberg Wrestler of our crypto generation who can reference opera, Volatility, and can beatup a thug on the subway  in the same breadth. C’est sexy. C’est scary. With his keen mathematical mind and rampantly stringent approach to risk, Joseph and his team at Valmar do a lot of things at Valmar to manage crypto funds that I do not understand. They do not use Discord. 

  Joseph and I met on the jury of the Karen Read trials in January of 2022 late night at the Ritz hotel in Boston, over dirty martinis pouring over the witness’ neighbors text messages while talking opera and Solana,

 utterly convinced of her guilt and her innocence and her guilt and then back again, much like how the jurors of OJ Simpson must have felt. 

Joe despite his cobalt blue collar background, has built himself up to the creme da la creme of the glitterati of crypto hedge fund knowledge and success and it was a pleasure for him to grace Headquarters. I look forward to returning to Jury. 

See you at the St. Regis. #GlitterLedger 

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New ‘Sode. Alas, as I sit polishing my ninja green Birkin bag buckle, alone after being dumped by a ParaFI partner, I ponder what went wrong in 2024 in Glitter and Crypto. There was the horrifying misunderstanding at Neiman Marcus ETH Denver that resulted in my shoplifting misdemeanor, the disappointing lack of staking in the ETH ETF that left most of my circle lightly slitting their wrists to the soundtrack of Usher Let it Burn, NFTs left completely out of the ERA’s tour, Caroline Ellison’s refusal to wear anything cute at her trial, .   I am high on AI generated meth with excitement for the 2025 Chinese New Year of the Snake, which can only bring good fortune.  I have so many hopes and dreams for 2025 that I hope my AI avatar bot can pin to my vision board in time for the year new me new meme coin. 

I digress. 

My guest is the fabulous Susan Oh. AI Afficiando who was recently beat up in a hotel room by her co-founder (and is OK) and was able to stop at Glitter Ledger Headquarters on her way to press charges before heading back to Bali. Susan has the IQ of Marilyn Monroe. Her story upbringing is fascinating. She and her  family fled South Korea's military dictatorship and then left Iran before the Ayatollah took over; and she family assumed refugee status for 8= months in the UK, before they were sponsored in Canada, where she grew up. She then became a teenage chain smoking punk rocker out at gay discos. 

Susan then had a career in journalism, media, AI and crypto all mixed together in a big clay pot thrown into a  Kiln of glitter and madness before developing her baby Muckr AI, a company that uses AI to flag disinformation. Unfortunately, the funding has had some interesting bumps. Listen on. 

Happy New Year. 

#GlitterLedger. 

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