Listen on the radio in the stadium parking lot, during the tailgate for the big football game.

Read by Allison McAtee

Listen on the way to a job interview, or the next time you're feeling homesick... just not during the fireworks show.

Me Gusta El Chupacabra -- Extra Spooky

Evidence. Police audio engineers have cleaned up the sound for public consumption, and removed a bizarre phasing issue, for which they have yet to provide a satisfactory explanation... Listener discretion is advised.