Episode 2244 – This one’s for the real ones—those of us who’ve Googled “Jenna Jameson firetruck porn,” fantasized about dangerous sex positions at 100 ft in the air, and questioned whether fucking someone into the afterlife is romantic or just a felony.

The Kid and Hat Trick cover everything from nostalgic studio sexcapades to firehouse roleplay scenarios that sound less like erotica and more like OSHA violations waiting to happen. Meanwhile, the ghost of shows past haunts them with forgotten soundbites and slightly embarrassing flashbacks from 2012.

There’s also a deep dive into Urban Dictionary’s definition of “hat trick,” which—as you can imagine—devolves into things that would give your grandma a stroke. And then, just when you think it’s peaked? Surprise return of Golden Tongue, awkward health updates, and one of the most sincere vagina compliments ever texted.

“Your face is too handsome to not be between my legs.” —Real quote. Real poetry. Move over, Shakespeare.

We’re talking about heart attacks mid-blowjob, killer kinks, Kevorkian-cowgirl death fantasies, and how audiobooks are awakening praise kinks everywhere. It’s like a TED Talk, but with cum jokes.