You ever hurt your nut so bad you contemplate your whole life? Welcome to this Retro Rewind edition of The Goin’ Deep Show, where we time-travel back to May 6, 2013—Episode 1166—aka “It’s All About My Balls.” The Kid is joined by Don Tang and Pootie Tang for a no-filter, no-facts-needed bender through semen strategy, contraceptive paranoia, chunky cheerleaders, ball trauma, and the eternal philosophical debate: Are all women whores?

We kick things off with Kid praising his dog Rosie while also questioning her sanity. But let’s be honest, Rosie was the least chaotic character in this studio. From there, the crew dives into the terrifying possibility of trusting a woman to take “the pill,” leading to a full-blown (pun intended) discussion on where and when loads should be deployed. Spoiler alert: nobody wants babies, and everyone’s terrified of surprise fatherhood.

Pootie, who may or may not have swallowed something other than beer, joins the boys in ranking bodily fluid experiences, debating the flavor profiles of boob milk, and explaining the fine art of porn-style swallowing. Don Tang confesses he’s been “bitten” before—emotionally, financially, and likely by the legal system.

We take a detour into Thunder territory with a debate about a cheerleader’s weight and what it takes to be considered “professional” (according to our panel of adult man-children). Somehow, Mother Teresa ends up in the conversation about sexual pasts. Yikes.

Then it’s on to the tale of Kid’s tragic bike ride where his left nut nearly ascended back into his body. Mid-ride, he reached down to do the classic nut-to-thigh rescue maneuver and ended up injuring himself so badly he had to dismount and reevaluate his life choices. Don Tang recommends the stand-and-shimmy technique. Pootie just wants everyone to know she wore yoga pants with Star Wars gear, and that’s really what matters.

By the end, we’re talking mushrooms, party buses, backcracking-induced boners, and the logistics of transferring iTunes music as a gateway to blowjobs.

In conclusion: we laughed, we cried, someone’s testicle went into hiding, and no one learned a damn thing. Just the way we like it.

Go Deep!