A crucial element of the healing journey is our family of origin. It seems as if people gravitate to polar opposite postures when it comes to families and the past. On the one hand, there are those that seek to scapegoat their families, blaming them for every wound and subsequent difficulty they may face. On the other hand are those that are very reluctant to place any responsibility on their families, seeking to downplay shortcomings or protect a cherished image, they struggle to name accurately some of the most powerful forces that shape our identity. We believe in a middle path: one that works to accurately investigate the unique personalities and events that have contributed, for good or for harm, to the person we are today. It is here we begin to understand who we are and why we relate to ourselves, others and the world the ways we do.

In this week’s conversation we briefly outline the concept of Attachment Theory and why Love and Trustworthiness are vital ingredients to healthy development. After exploring how love forms our identity and trust grounds our sense of safety we move on to map the four primary ways that we respond to violations of these two areas: Blame, Shame, Control and Escape. We then close our conversation distinguishing between big and little T trauma’s, the lasting cultural consequences of Societal trauma such as war and disease, and reflecting on the paradoxical truth that if we say yes to the healing journey it is often our very wounds that become the gifts that empower us to love and serve others in deeply meaningful ways.