Going Gay: A Beginner's Guide

On June 12th 2016, 49 people were shot and killed inside the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. 53 others were wounded. It was the largest mass shooting by a single shooter in US history, and the worst attack on the LGBTQ+ Community ever. To mark the one year memorial, I sat down with Dr. David Baker-Hargrove and Hannah Willard.

Dr. David is the President and CEO of Two Spirit Health Services. He has over 21 years of experience as a community organiser and leader dedicated to the mental wellbeing of the LGBTQ+ community. David is recognized throughout the world as an expert on mental health issues as they relate to gender identity and speaks regularly at national and international conferences regarding the treatment of gender dysphoria. In 2001, He provided mental health support to the FDNY and NYPD at World Trade Center Ground Zero following the September 11th terrorist attacks. He has been instrumental in the trauma counselling of those affected by the Pulse shooting exactly one year ago. His continuing work through the ‘Help is Still Out There’ Campaign acts as a resource for those affected by that night and who still have lives to rebuild long after the television cameras have gone.

Hannah is the Public Policy Director for Equality Florida: the state’s largest advocacy group for the advancement of LGBTQ rights and protections. She spearheaded the passage of the state’s first nondiscrimination legislation for LGBTQ residents. She was directly involved in the fight for same-sex marriage in Florida. Sadly, Hannah was also caught up in the aftermath of the Pulse massacre, and helped to raise over $29 million in support of the injured and the families of the victims.

Honor Them With Action Campaign: honorthemwithaction.org

Help Is Still Out There Campaign: helpisstilloutthere.org

You can view the Help Is Still Out There PSA here.

You can donate to Two Spirit Health Services by going to their website (here) and clicking the ‘Donate’ button on the right hand side of the page.

Donations to Equality Florida can be made here.

Donations to Equality Texas can be made here.

Donations to Equality North Carolina can be made here.

You can become a support Going Gay on Patreon at patreon.com/goinggay

Music

Pulse – Eli Lieb & Brandon Skeie.

You can download their song for free on Soundcloud here.

Guest – Zoë Brouns

In this episode I talk to a recent graduate, Zoë Brouns, about being queer and in a sorority (or in my case, a fraternity). Zoë started an organization on her campus called Queeks or Queer Greeks in order to increase visibility of those of us in fraternities and sororities. Talking about everything from pillow fights in underwear to sexual assault, this issue is VAST. I enjoyed tackling these topics with someone so dedicated to bridging gaps between apparently disparate groups, and showing to everyone how we can all do better.

You can read my op-ed from 2015 in The Daily Californian about insidious homophobia in fraternities here.

You can read Zoë’s amazing article on XO Jane about non-aggressive homophobia here.

You can watch the video of AXO’s national president announcing the new policy of trans inclusion here.

You can support Going Gay: A Beginner’s Guide on Patreon at: patreon.com/goinggay

In the second part of our conversation, Nisa Dang and I discuss race and racism in the LGBT community. We also talked about the Pulse shooting, and how the most ignored factor in that shooting continues to be the race of the victims. Finally, we talk about how the devastating defeat in 2016, and a conference call with Hillary Clinton led Nisa to pick up her things and go to Djibouti to help the Yemeni refugees.

“The LGBT community in general makes life look like it’s so fucking amazing to live. Everything’s a fucking rave. Brunch every weekend, endless mimosas… and we have these parades and floats and we celebrate ourselves. And yeah we celebrate ourselves because we have to, because that is a survival instinct. It’s the same reason people want to party with black people: we live like we’re dying because hey, we are…” – Nisa Dang, 2017

You can support Going Gay: A Beginner’s Guide on Patron at: patreon.com/goinggay

Guest – Nisa Dang

Today I chat with Nisa Dang, executive office coordinator at Goldberg Associates, immigration law firm, activist and all around inspiring individual. From marching in the streets and being brutalised by the police to assisting orphans in Djibouti, Nisa has done more to advance the rights of minority individuals than anyone else I know. In the first part of our conversation, I’m chat to her about how she came to activism, her involvement in the Black Lives Matter movement, her arrest and how she navigates her identity in the process.

For more information about the history of Black Lives Matter, click here.

To visit my Patreon page and to become a Patron, go to: patreon.com/goinggay

Guest – Jimmy Stewart

In this episode, I sit down with my best friend and fraternity brother Jimmy, to talk about what it’s been like to be the Straight Best Friend – a canon that’s as popular in the Community as a Fag-Hag or a Drag Mother. What does it mean to have a gay friend in an ultra-straight world? I’m giving him the chance to ask me the questions he’s always wanted to know, and we talk about the things not to ask friends when they come out to you. We also chat about his views on sexuality now, and how society’s view of masculinity is changing.

Become a patron of Going Gay: A Beginner’s Guide here: patreon.com/goinggay

Guest: Grant Genske (AKA Eliason)

Can you love men and music and still succeed? I sit down with Grant Genske (AKA Eliason) to chat with him about breaking into the music industry as an out and proud gay man. We’ll be diving into the challenges he’s faced, the way his music has helped him through some tough times, and what we think of gay representation in the media more generally. Listen in if you’re interested in how to own both yourself and your talent.

Party Face EP by Eliason available now on Soundcloud | iTunes | Spotify

Music in this episode: Party Face (Acoustic) – Eliason | Heaven Knows – Eliason

Guest: George Sayers

In this episode, I sit down with George, who went to school with me. It was a pretty traditional boarding school in the rural countryside of the UK. We chat about the difficulties of coming through such an environment as two, then-closeted, gay men. We also examine why we felt we couldn’t come out to each other until after we had both left. Listen in if you’re curious what it’s like to live in the closet when going through the usual high-school drama, albeit with a slight Harry Potter-esque twist.

Guest: Audrey Muir

Come with me as I peel back the curtain on the some of the gay community’s most closely guarded secrets. In this, the very first episode, I’m inviting my mum along to ask me those questions she’s always been a bit too nervous to put to me. Nothing is too outrageous. Nothing is off limits. We’re bearing the awkwardness so you don’t have to!