The Relatively Speaking Podcast is here to help you prep from embarrassing yourself in the final seconds of 2016. Not really, though, as we much rather you attempt to make a move on someone a few dozen times out of your league.

NFL Week 17 Picks

(Jared Mints 43-37, Joseph Nardone 49-31)

Browns at Steelers

Bills at Jets

Giants at Skins

Raiders at Broncos

Packers at Lions

After Joseph gets done destroying Jared in their seasonal battle of who is better than the other at winning money, it is on to discuss more important things.

Best of/Worst of 2016

Best: Cleveland Cavaliers and Chicago Cubs winning titles. Netflix original content. Much, much more.

Worst: Sports Twitter. Loads of self-deprecation. Joseph and Jared have a hot-take concerning celebrity deaths.

AMA

@14TeamMocker is the kid crossing up the white lady on 23rd vid fake? Is it ok to laugh at obvious fake vids?

@playorbplayd If Eric taught Jameel his moves and Jameel taught Ty his moves then who taught Eric his moves?

@givenupomlife why do people pretend five guys is special

The AMA is normally when the show ends, but somehow Jared and Joseph end up talking much longer about condiments, Seal, getting chubby, life, and many other aspects of things that are so important you must listen or you will melt into the fabric of space and time.

Follow Jared on Twitter.

Follow Joseph on Twitter.

How?

Work for it, you lazy bums. Seriously, do we have to do everything for you?

PSA: Be safe this weekend!

The Relatively Speaking Podcast survived a fatman trying to break in its house on Sunday. That is good news for you, the listener, because it means the flame emoji duo is back and better than ever!

With the NFL season winding down, but with a lot of playoff quarterbacks hitting the injured reserve, Jared and Joseph discuss the team that was likely hurt most by their gunslinger succumbing to the violence in the gridiron; the Oakland Raiders.

Do the Raiders have enough to overcome such an injury this late in the season?

What team is now the second best in the AFC?

What is a Tom Savage?

After some National Football League stories are discussed, the Relatively Speaking Podcasts turns its attention to the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors. More specifically, the awesomeness this is LeBron James.

What were Jared and Joseph's hot-takes from the game? You will just have to listen to find out.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast double-dipped the Absurd Questions portion of the podcast this week.

Jared's two questions were about heaven and hell, and about what NBA player is likely to pass the most natural gass.

Joseph's two questions were about starting a television show, as well as something about being abducted by aliens as a thing that makes the guys irrationally happy.

You can follow Jared on the mean, cold, dark streets of Twitter @JMintzHoops.

If you want to do a similar thing with the other guy, you can @JosephNardone

PSA: Don't text and eat meatloaf at the same time.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is here to help you ease into a festive move for the weekend. Apparently, according to sources, a fatman is going to attempt to break into your house by way of a chimney on Sunday. Don't say you weren't warned, Humans.

On this episode of the greatest podcast in the history of the world, NBA Hoop Mag writer Josh Eberley joins to add some insight to several areas.

A large portion of the podcast focuses on #NBATwitter. Things ranging from hivemind, to making moves in the business, all the way to what are some of the pet-peeves within that Twitter subsection was discussed. Writers/bloggers will truly enjoy that segment, as well as get some advice, and general fans will become slightly more informed of the behind-the-scenes structure of basketball media.

After that, however, the Relatively Speaking Podcast's sensibilities rear its ugly head, as Jared and Joseph ask Josh 15 random questions. Some of them shooty hoops related. Others, well, not so much.

Is George Karl super evil? We ask Josh.

Is Boogie Cousins only somewhat evil. We also ask Josh.

To finish this episode of your favorite podcast this side of the universe, fan favorite segment Absurd Questions returns.

Jared would like to know what character in a movie you want to be.

Joseph wants to know something about infants and adults cheating on people.

Josh forces a Brad Pitt loving nation into picking between two of his most beloved movies.

Have a great holiday, no matter how you celebrate it!

It is Monday. That is a boo-type of situation. It is also the return of the Relatively Speaking Podcast. That will likely make you feel the opposite emotions that usually come with the Monday blues, as it is the greatest podcast in the history of the world. Seriously. You can ask anybody about the Relatively Speaking Podcast, and they will all say the same: "The Relatively Speaking Podcast is the greatest podcast in the history of mankind."

On this edition of the podcast, the guys start the show by discussing two NFL teams who apparently need more respect. For Jared, it is the New York Giants and the Green Bay Packers. For Joseph, he thinks football is super violent.

The Houston Texans finally benched their big offseason signing who was apparently a quarterback. What a (Tom) Savage move, in the Relatively Speaking Podcast's opinion.

Kentucky Wildcats guard Malik Monk went bonkers against the North Carolina Tar Heels. Also, Tacko Fall is more than just a 7-6 humanoid... Joseph thinks he's on the verge of playing his way into NBA Mock Draft experts' first-round.

Bad Tweets is as historically bad as ever. It is how the segment works, to be honest.

As for Absurd Questions, it is once again a situation where you will just have to listen to understand the veracity of absurdness that comes with this segment.

You can, if you dare, follow Jared on the mean streets of Twitter @JMintzHoops.

If you want to do a similar thing with the other, less articulate host, you can @JosephNardone.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is back to prevent the doom that awaits this weekend from ever actually happening to you. Also, it is here to help you embrace the warmth that is the love a person can feel if s/he simply opens their hearts to stuff. Yeah, man... stuff.

Sadly, the usually upbeat podcast begins by honoring Craig Sager, who unfortunately passed away on Thursday. Jared and Joseph share some fond memories and attempt to put it in perspective.

That Don't Look Good returns this week. What doesn't look good? Well, it depends on who you ask, as this isn't an agreed upon segment this week. First one is about LeBron James resting and the backlash the ensued. The second? The Atlanta Braves general manager's Twitter advice!

Week 15 picks also happened. Joseph is leading the season in picking the correct games. He is 41-29 while Uncle Jared is 38-22.

A fun Ask Me Anything segment closes this episode. Five questions were asked, and all five were answered.

"@varoonbose Could a team made up of only Kentucky players (in the NBA) win the title? Who starts? Bench? Who doesn’t make the team? Coach?"

"@Knickfan_4life will phil sign another deal to stay with the Knicks?"

"@brownasthenight starting 5 of guys on decent teams who destroy their team when on the floor but still get too many minutes? eg Scola last year"

"@givenupomlife why are avocados such trash and people pretend it doesn't ruin food"

"@Smarqs What is a thing (or person) that people routinely mock that really isn't that bad."

See? That's five!

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is back with the heart of a lion and the desire to please of a person who really likes to please. In what is widely accepted as the greatest podcast in the history of podcasts, allow the Relatively Speaking Podcast to wash over you like a warm shower.

There are topics discussed today, for what it is worth.

What did the outcome of Dallas-New York mean, if anything?

What is wrong with the Seattle Seahawks?

Are the Green Bay Packers the packiest Packers in the history of the franchise?

Bad Tweets got a small retool for this week, as it is Good Tweets. It is hard to explain, so you'll simply have to listen.

Then, for reasons only known to Jared and Joseph, the hosts decide to look at the 2014 and 2015 NBA Drafts and call players either "busts" or "no busts" without any nuance proper context allowed. While not their finest moment, it is their first time fully embracing #NBATwitter.

Absurd Questions: What actors are ugly? That's what Jared wants to know. As for Joseph, he speaks a ton of words about the Fast and Furious movie franchise because life is too great.

And that is pretty much the show in a nutshell. It might not seem like a ton, but it is easily the greatest podcast in the history of the greatest podcast ever made. So, yeah... there's that!

You can follow Uncle Jared on the mean streets of Twitter @JMintzHoops.

A similar thing can be applied to the other host @JosephNardone.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast in all its glory, which means you get to enter the weekend with a solid case of the giggles.

The New York Knicks are off to a rather surprisingly solid start. However, one Mr. Phil Jackson keeps opening up his mouth-hole to discuss things with the media he probably shouldn't. His latest being the president of basketball operations calling Carmelo Anthony a player who holds on to the ball too much... which is odd when you consider there are two other people on his team who hold the ball longer than him.

Do the Los Angeles Clippers stink? No!

Lazily crowd sourced segment Ask Me Anything is back (with fake Seal, of course) this week.

"Do you think Chris Paul ever wins a championship in such a crowded competitive conference?"

"At what point do the Clippers consider getting something for CP3 and BG before they leave in seven months?"

"Am I allowed to believe the NBA is fixed to get big market teams against each other in 6/7 game series?"

The guys answer those questions in earnest.

We'd like to say that the show ended with Jared and Joseph's Week 14 NFL picks, but that would only be a half-truth.

After discussing about Joseph's dominance over Jared in the standings, the greatest NFL game-picker this side of Al Pacino in Two For The Money asks Jared a very random, very absurd, very unsettling question.

What was the question? Listen if you want to find out! I mean, you can just fast-forward toward the end if you're that impatient.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is here to help you come down from what was surely a fire emoji weekend filled with College Football Playoff hot-takes, trips to the movie theater, and a slew of chicken wings.

Apparently, we guess, the National Football League's biggest talking point being had after Sunday is Cam Newton failing to wear a tie, which resulted in a one-series benching.

While most of America will turn this into a discussion regarding responsibility or if the Carolina Panthers overreacted, Joseph is concerned because turtlenecks are so 2001.

The Pittsburgh Steelers looked awesome. Jared discussed their new big-three.

Why is Alex Smith the Andrew Bogut of the NFL?

The Detroit Lions are good... we think.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are officially a thing!

Bad Tweets returns this week. What do you get when you combine poorly chosen words with a hyperbolic statement? A spot on this segment. Also, we've had enough of Draymon Green's flailing legs.

To end what turned out to be the best podcast in the history of podcasts (seriously, you can ask anybody), Absurd Questions closes the show with these two gems:

What is your favorite holiday movie and what would you change about it?

If you can write the autobiography of any living person, who would it be and why?

Don't worry loyal podcast listeners, the answers to those questions will not disappoint you.

Follow Jared on the mean streets of Twitter @JMintzHoops.

You can do a similar thing, I mean, if you want @JosephNardone.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is back with more vengeance than a Die Hard movie. So, yeah... take that Bruce Willis.

With a lot of news happening around the sports world this week, the hosts begin Friday's episode by discussing the New England Patriots of the National Football League. You might have heard that they are a quality football team, but now that their polar bear playing tight end is hurt, are they still the favorites in the AFC?

That Don't Look Good makes its triumphant return this week. One aspect of it has to deal with the NFL suspending a player who is missing a large part of his intestines. The other? Jeff Fisher apparently planning to play the 2011 Patriots.

NFL Week 13 Picks!

Lions at Saints

Texans at Packers

Giants at Steelers

Skins at Cardinals

Colts at Jets

Ask Me Anything also returns, but with a MONUMENTAL surprise (it is new segment music).

"Dangahzi ?@Patriots_Fan4 7h7 hours ago

@JMintzHoops embiid/Simmons or towns/Wiggins"

"Nick Zav ?@nick_zav 10h10 hours ago

@JMintzHoops @JosephNardone Do you think the Knicks would be better off starting Jennings and moving D Rose to the 2, with Lee as 6 man. and do you have an opinion on the narrative that through out his career the teams Rondo plays for has a better net rating when"

Thanks for joining the Relatively Speaking Podcast. A place in space and time where you can not only get quality sports information, but plenty of giggles to help you navigate what is surely a horrible existence.

The Relatively Speaking Podcast is back after a grueling Thanksgiving weekend hangover. Luckily for the loyal fan base that is those who regularly listen to these episodes, Jared and Joseph drank a gallon of Red Bull each and are ready to entertain you with one bad dad joke at a time.

As do most Monday shows, this episodes opens up with some NFL thoughts.

Jared takes the long road in an effort to find out why Joseph stinks at picking games. Joseph takes a more shorter road to yell at Jared about things he made up totally on the fly.

Also, the Oakland Raiders appear to be very good at the professional football. Who knew?

Bad Tweets returns this week. One concerns a certain cornerback from the New York Giants turning to Twitter to say some odd things. The other, well, is about a member of #NBATwitter using a random game from late November to bury a basketball team's chances to do damage in the playoffs.

Hey, you. Yeah... you! Are the Los Angeles Lakers good? The Relatively Speaking Podcast has some thoughts on this idea.

Absurd Questions: Jared asks Joseph who his favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle is. Joseph asks Jared what NBA player he thinks he can beat up in a battle of fists.

Follow Jared on the mean streets of Twitter @JMintzHoops.

Joseph is also on the Twitter Machine @JosephNardone.

Don't text while driving, neuter your pets, donate money to charity, and {insert whatever other topical, yet supposedly altruistic cause here}.