By Ryan and Rebekah Frost
4.7
1212 ratings
The podcast currently has 12 episodes available.
Why does it feel like we are getting older faster than our kids???
[5:31] Parent Guilt (Mom Guilt. Dad Guilt)
[7:22] Our kids inspire us to push our selves
[8:05] Life with kids is like dating…What?…
[10:29] As we get older, how do we become a better parent? How do we stretch? How do we grow?
[11:45] Exercise…
[15:14] Eating Better
[18:27] Our youngest is crawling! Time to child proof our home again!
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We talk about some of the things we use that have been totally WORTH IT!
[1:45] Highchairs and Bibs
[8:43] Teething Necklace
[11:30] Refilable Baby Food Packs
[14:10] Thermometers!
[14:35] Delux Pack N Play (with all the bells and whistles!)
[18:36] Breast Pump
[23:10] We talk about Birthdays!!
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In this episode Ryan and Rebekah talk about what surprised them the most about becoming, and being, a parent.
[4:27] Surprise #1: The severe lack of sleep that never ends.
[10:25] Surprise #2: Our ability to increase our capacity.
[15:51] Surprise #3: How quickly kids change and develop.
[21:16] Surprise #4: The overwhelming love we feel toward our kids.
Find us on Facebook and instagram @goodjobmomdad
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We are on the road! This episode is all about our experiences traveling with the kiddos. We share our stories from the car and in the air.
Get ready for mountains of luggage, racing through the airport, and of course a plethora of bathroom stops! It always comes down to adjusting expectations and the fact remains -- you will always get there in the end...just maybe not when you thought you would!
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We just got better from being sick…the kinda sick that is not bad enough to stay in bed, but …it’s miserable.
**NOTE: We are NOT giving medical advice, only sharing anecdotes and our experiences. Nothing in this episode should be considered advice. Please consult a physician with any medical concerns.**
When one person gets sick…everybody gets sick. The whole ordeal can last anywhere from a week to a month!
Wintertime, especially the holidays is when people start dropping like flies.
Liam and Bekah were both sick up through Christmas Eve this year. We were traveling and staying with family, so we quarantined ourselves.
Liam was especially fascinated by “barfing”. He would ask for juice so he could barf more. NO!!! Yuk. He would end up barfing all over the floor and Ryan would end up walking through it.
Ryan tried to keep his distance from the sick room only going in when needed. Poor Bekah!
The quarantine worked! Nobody else got the flu!
The thing about toddlers is—you never know if they are barfing from excitement, or if they have a terrible stomach flu.
Playground equipment is an especially precarious scenario …there was a season where Ryan debated letting Liam play on playgrounds because he did not want to have the consequence of the whole family being sick for three weeks. In the end though, he would let Liam play.
No matter what you do, people are going to get sick.
THERMOMETER DRAMA [8:45]
You would think thermometers would be straightforward.
Not at all.
There are way too many thermometers to choose from. Our doctor recommended the kind you run across the forehead. Ryan’s friend recently let him know we had been using the stupid thermometer the wrong way.
We discuss our troubles with wildly various results using thermometers which adds to the chaos of parenting.
We now have three different kinds of thermometers. Including an infrared sensor thermometer that would line up red lights on the forehead, but that would also give us unreliable readings.
One time, our youngest was getting high readings and lower readings, so we decided to go get a rectal thermometer. A horrifying proposal. But we needed to know if we had to take him to the doctor…Ryan bought the thermometer and Rebekah figured out how to use it…all that to say, his temperature was normal.
The other thing that is frustrating about thermometers is traveling…when you forget to bring them. We spend more money replacing thermometers that we already own.
For Rebekah, the thing about getting sick as the mother, is that it’s not fair because she is taking care of everyone and no-one is there to take care of her….Yup. she threw Ryan under the bus.
When parents get sick: life is already impossible with life and kids. But being sick adds that extra layer. Everything begins to fall apart, because nothing is getting done. Thats just how it is. It’s part of familydom.
What do you do if your kid is starting to feel sick, do you cancel everything? Or what if you find out other families are not feeling well, do you stay away? For us, if it’s obvious stay away. But if it’s mild, then each scenario is different. At the end of the day, it’s about communicating with and informing other parents so people can make their own discussions. We appreciate it when people tell us, even after the fact, that we’ve been exposed to something because their kids got sick after hanging out with us. We’ve all got kids. Life happens. The more kids you have, the more you realize that you cannot control everything.
We talk about a story where we took Liam to a playground at a zoo and came back with Hand Foot and Mouth Disease…But the memory was really incredible and he had so much fun playing with the other kids. Ryan says it was worth it, Rebekah is not so sure. We dig into how Ryan gets to go to work the next day, but Rebekah has to take care of the sick kiddos at home. It’s hard to see your kid suffering while sick.
We talk about the strange advice you get from doctors. When Liam had croup, we thought he had something stuck in his thought because he was wheezing. The doc advised us to stick his face in front of the open freezer door…which we did…but it was weird.
[27:00] PARENTAL INSTINTS
Parental instincts. We talk about having the first kid and how parents are overprotective…at least Ryan was. He was told it would happen, he tried to prepare for it, but instinctually he would respond to things at an extreme level. He believes it’s about creating new brain pathways and learning where to put new emotions and responses. The second kid is much easier because you have built those new pathways.
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Rebekah just launched an online course focused on helping new moms with “everyday hospitality”
**COURSE DETAILS AND DISCOUNT CODE BELOW**
….but first:
We got started very late. 11:00pm…because we had a hard time getting both boys to sleep!
Ryan took Liam out to Trader Joe’s for groceries and the cashier gave him some candy (She asked first, which was awesome!) and the sugar rush added a couple hours to the bedtime routine. Bummer.
Finally after Liam did fall asleep, Ryan came into the living room and Ari our 10-month-old decided he did not want to go to sleep. So we decided to go with it, watched some TV shows, and made some pop-corn.
But the big topic of this episode is the LAUNCH of Rebekah’s brand new online course, YOUR GENEROUS HOME.
This project is several months in the making. Bekah has been putting this together for the past 6 months.
YOUR GENEROUS HOME can be found at www.yourgeneroushome.com
Your Generous Home is a course that teaches "Everyday Hospitality" for busy moms with limited time, space and resources. Rebekah started this course for moms like her who want their homes to be a generous and welcoming place for family and friends without going crazy in the process
The course is a video course about what Hospitality is. How we think about it and approach it (Perfection, expectations, and performance).
Rebekah has taught and spoken around the world to many different groups of people, but this is the first time she has done a video course.
The course dives into issues like, the things that are stopping you, and practical lessons like having dinner guests with children in the house. Rebekah breaks down the tasks in the course to make it easier for moms to get things done without having a melt down.
Checklists are provided to help you think through what needs to be done before, during and after guests come over.
Self assessment test: Questions about your specific stage in life to evaluate where you are at as an individual to give you a better picture of what your capacity is and what you are capable of in the moment.
Ryan asks some interview questions…it gets awkward for just a minute…
Ryan asks why this subject matter. Why everyday hospitality?
Rebekah: At the core…we all want to connect. As a young mom it’s harder to get out of the house and build connections and the easiest solution is to make your home the place that people come to.
We live in a 1-bedroom apartment, so we are very limited on space. We have also lived in a variety of situations and spaces where we have had to be creative with how we bring people into our home. Rebekah is no stranger to this and developed a sense of “Creative Hospitality” and learned to use what she had to make connections with people over food, coffee, or tea. Each place gives new ideas. Mainly, it’s all about your heart of generosity. This resonates with people who come to visit.
Ryan asks how this works while having kids:
Rebekah: It’s more complex. Things do take longer. More planning.
Even though we live in a 1-bedroom, we have not let that stop us from having people stay with us. Family and friends…including a guest who stayed with us for 6 weeks.
Rebekah begin to realize that people would be surprised and what she would take on. Which is part of what drove her to create a course to show how limitations are not disqualifies, but opportunities to get creative.
Focus on what you DO HAVE not on what you DON’T HAVE. Hospitality is one the ways you can foster community and connection and battle against lonliness. As a mother, you can make a difference in the world through fostering connection through hospitality. It’s so accessible to everybody!
Ryan asks what the most surprising thing for Rebekah in the process of putting this course together.
Rebekah talks about how self-disqualification was a major struggle, because of the amazing people she has around her who are also doing such a great job. But on the other hand, when looking at the material and the potential, it makes her very excited.
Ryan: What are the next steps for the course?
Rebekah: This is the first part. Next we are going to build out additional audio lessons that are focused on specific areas of interest (issues, problems, topics).
Check out the course at www.yourgenerousehome.com10% Discount Code: GOODJOB10 Normal Price is $30
This is a course is not just for moms, but for anyone who is limited with time and resources!
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We are potty trained! Ryan tries to pull off a terrible dad joke. Boooo…..
Unintended consequences of potty training: using public bathrooms. —using the toilet is great at home.. its our bathroom. its our toilet. Public Bathroom: Not so much. We went to IKEA today and Liam had to go 4 times. Ryan shares his harrowing experiences taking Liam into the bathroom which involves a lot of shouting “Don’t touch that…DONT TOUCH THAT!!!!”
When a toddler tells you “I have to go potty” they have to go potty, RIGHT NOW. Ryan talks about dealing with disgusting toilet seats in the public bathroom. Which ended up with Ryan cleaning the toilet seat off with his bare hands….yep. It’s tempting to just have Liam put on a pull-up…but we don’t. That would be traumatic.
Liam hates the hand driers. Bekah talks about how they recycle “Poo-particles” into the air. Disgusting.
Work Vs. Homelife:
We are still in the early phases of parenthood. Figuring out the balance of family vs. work can be a challenge. We need to figure out how to be intentional with everything.
Ryan feels the limitation of hours in the day. Ryan talks about why he does not work from home even though he can. It’s important for him to separate home life from work life.
The frustrating thing is that Ryan ’s best hours are spent on work, and he feels like the kids and family get second best. It’s tough, and we do not know necissarily how to change it.
Ryan asks Rebekah how it affects her.
Rebekah talks about how she spends the majority of her time serving the needs of her family. She does not have the “perceived” freedom that some might think.
Bekah talks about how she has been seeking out valuable input. Trying to figure out how to make the parenting experience meaningful, and “not just getting through it”. This is her life’s work.
Rebekah is starting a new venture: Your Generous Home [LINK]
The most difficult part of Ryan not being around during the day: Not having someone on her level around to talk to (she is with kids all day).
So Rebekah has been finding different women on instagram (bloggers) who are putting out solid, positive empowering advice. The big things she is coming across is “simplifying your life, so you can be more intentional with your motherhood. And How do you integrate your work life and your family life as a mother
Phylicia Masonheimer Website: https://phyliciamasonheimer.com Instagram: @phyliciamasonheimer
Phylicia is a very well put together woman who is doing a lot of things with 2 toddlers. She credits her success to a lifelong fascination with productivity.
Ryan and Rebekah talk about how “working” happens at the office and at home. Work has developed a negative connotation. Traditionally work is trading time for money. But work is ultimately something you can find meaning from.
Rebekah talks about how “achievement” kind of work that we are compensated for that we value over home-life or we feel like victims of the system — which we are not. Ultimately we have to make choices on what we are going to focus on.
Ryan talks about how It’s important to make choices about what is important and what you will spend your time on. Does your job allow you to be available to your family? It’s a conversation we are constantly having and wrestling with. It’s a real struggle.
Bekah is working out processes in her life to make home-life more successful.
One great resources is Allie Casazza
Allie Casazza Website: http://alliecasazza.com/Instagram: @allie_thatsme
Minimalism saved Allie’s motherhood. When you let go of the things you don’t need, it gives you more time for your family.
LINK: How Getting Rid of My Stuff Saved My Motherhood by Allie Casazza
Rebekah talks about a study that Allie brought up that gets into the science of clutter in the house raising the stress levels of women. Ryan talks about how clutter shuts him down and makes him less present with the kids.
There is a movement of “New Homemakers” helping women redefine homemaking in positive ways.
Add your comments and tell us your stories and feedback!! How do you balance work vs. home-life? Any crazy pubic bathroom stories -- please share!! We might even add it to the show (with your permission of course!) Listen to the podcast at: Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2Wh6WuW Stitcher: https://bit.ly/2B0YZRJ Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2sSQqUq Other links on our website www.goodjobpodcast.com/
Rebekah brings up a quote “Dear God please let me not raise the child that I was, or the child I wish I had, but let me raise the child that I have”…It had never crossed her mind that she might try to raise her kids as if they were just like her growing up. Ryan and Rebekah discuss the idea of not projecting personal context on our kids. Just because they are our offspring, it does not mean they will be just like us and experience the same things the same way we did. It is important to utilize personal context and experience, but to make sure to remember that our children are different people. For Rebekah, this means that she needs to pay more attention to each kid and analyze each situation in it’s own merit.
Ryan digs into some internet memes on parenting which brings up some personal reflection moments on how Ryan used to be an “arm-chair-parent” before having kids.
Ryan talks about a great piece of advice somebody gave him to keep sane while parenting: “Establish a consequence and follow through if the child disobeys”. In other words, warn them they are going to get a time out, and if the child disobeys, give them a time out…no drama….Sort of. Ryan and Rebekah talk about the reality of following through on this advice.
[11:20] Playing Inside vs. outside.
This is different for Ryan because he as at work all day and Rebekah is home all day with the kids. Rebekah was noticing that when Liam is inside, he does imaginative play, but it’s very short lived and jumps from project to project. She notices when they go outside, his attention span increases. Ryan notices that he can go “forever” outside. He finds creative things (leaves, sticks, bugs) to play with.
Ryan brings up an article from psychology today that talks about the brain development advantages of playing outside. [Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201404/whats-better-indoor-or-outdoor-play]
We live in a second story apartment, so it is harder to go outside. Especially because we are so tired all the time and we can’t let Liam go run outside by himself. If we had a backyard, it would be much easier. It’s city life, which is different than how we grew up as kids. Rebekah talks about what it was like growing up in her home.
Ryan points out that there is a thing called “Nature Deficit Disorder” (according to Psychology Today article).
Ryan and Rebekah share experiences of playing outside when they were kids. We also grew up before video games were a thing.
The challenge for Rebekah and Ryan is: What do you do when you are too tired??
[22:00] Parenting Pet Peeves
Being constantly tired is a major parenting pet peeve. We ask the audience to share their advice in the comments.
Ryan struggles with being patient. This is a personal pet peeve for him. He wants things to happen quickly and struggles to let Liam jump in and help —which takes longer.
Bekah does not like “mom-chit-chat”. It can feel like comparison between moms which is frustrating. Ryan loves “mom-chit-chat” conversations…
Conclusion: we are all wired differently. We need to be the best version of who we are, so our kids can be the best version of who they are!
Normally Ryan takes our 3-Year-Old Liam out for a walk every night in the stroller on a “Daddy Date”. They run some errands, grab some groceries, then by the time they get home, Liam is asleep. No drama. Zero wrestling.
We recently returned from a trip, where we had been able to get Liam to lay down and go to sleep in a new bed without the stroller ride. Now back in LA, we are seeing if we can transition to this new routine at home!
At first it did not go over very well. Liam broke down into tears because he wanted to go on the “Daddy-Date”. The next night, we decided to prep him ahead of time and let him know how the bed time routine was going to go. And it worked!
Ryan did have to wrestle through several delay tactics— multiple trips to the bathroom. Including one trip where he had a “poop” family which he named after mommy and daddy. Flattering.
Ryan started to get frustrated that Liam would not go to sleep. He would not get off the toilet. Rebekah suggests bribing him off with chocolate…right before bedtime…
Rebekah shares how she let Liam get himself dressed for bed by himself, which gave him ownership of the bedtime process. Win!
We discuss how Rebekah is way more patient than Ryan. As a kid, she used to sit until humming birds would land on her. Ryan tells a story about how they lured squirrels to their back door with nuts. Which was great until one bit his grandmother. Squirrels are not your friend.
*** We have to take a small break due to a crying baby ***
We are still learning how to pivot when we have plans but our kids have needs. Plans vs. Needs….a non-stop issue that we need to adjust to.
There is a culture out there that says our kids are in the way of us having a great life. We are excited to have our kids and we are trying to figure out how to do life with them.
Sometimes we have grownup things we need to take care of. Ryan could work from home, but does not, because it would be more difficult for Liam who would not understand why dad can’t pay attention to him.
Rebekah is launching a new company called “Your Generous Home” (www.yourgeneroushome.com). This would potentially allow for our family to spend more time together.
Rebekah and Ryan are both type B personalities, so it is easy to want kick back and relax and let things happen. We have to choose to be intentional and give our children the attention they deserve. We have to be intentional as parents with our time. Sometimes that means we do things along side our kids, sometimes that means we do it on our own. That could mean finding space outside of home, or even staying up late.
We are young in our marriage with young kids (we’ve been married almost 6 years) and we are still learning what is important to us. Ryan talks about how “Freedom” is important to him. He values the ability to choose what to do with his time. It’s not where we are, but what we are working toward. We are still learning how to re-adjust and be flexible.
Send us your questions or leave comments. We want to hear your experiences as parents!
The Chore Chart: a new strategy we are considering since our 3 year old gets a huge sense of accomplishment when he does something by himself.
Ryan shares about his memories of the family chore chart when he was growing up.
***Our 8 month old Ari is awake and with us, squeaking into the microphone.***
We share what Liam loves to clean up including his many different “train tracks”, Ryan puts Rebekah on the spot and has her sing the "In The Bag" clean up song that she uses to inspire Liam to clean. (See Disney's "In The Bag" here)
How do we get things to be less clutter around the house? We get Liam to help us in the cleaning.
Ryan talks about how he built a tower with Liam, who refused to let Ryan knock it down while filming in slow motion. Ryan decided to play “Robot” with Liam, and attempted to karate-chop the tower down, but Liam would take off after Ryan, shouting “No!!! No!!!!” then poke Ryan (like pressing a robot button) which stopped the Robot. Then we’d declare that “Liam Saved The Day!”
Ryan talks about how he is so tired at night and it is hard to play with the kids. He tries to engage with the kids, but gets exhausted after only a few minutes.
Rebekah talks about how exhausting it is to do simple errands during the day because she has to get both kids ready to go out.
We realized that Liam is confused and very concerned when we tell him we are “pooped”…
We talk about how our energy is not the same as it was in our 20’s…
One solution Ryan has come up with in the evenings is, owning the fact that he is tired and just picking one thing to do with Liam. Including watching some videos with him — not the best advice — but it does allow us to connect.
We discuss how Liam learning to put on his own “jammies” at night could be a game changer, because getting him dressed for bed is an exhausting endeavor.
Thought of the day from Rebekah: Give your kids something to accomplish.
Thought of the day from Ryan: Don’t judge yourself.
The podcast currently has 12 episodes available.