Good Night

You've heard that "Time flies when you're having fun?" Well time also flies when you drop your clock. I'm sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather Pappa chair, with time on my hands. Sort of. Actually...I have pieces of my living room clock...which I dropped...in my hands. It looks like the clock is dead...it's just a bunch of little pieces on the floor. I was trying to set it to pick up the signal from some Godforsaken transmitter in the mountains of Colorado...which the government uses to keep clocks like this accurate. I don't know much about Colorado, except that the time coordination transmitter is there, and expensive people go to Aspen to mate.

My Lady Wonder Wench and I went to Colorado once so she could buy a horse. I was never clear as to why when we live in Pennsylvania, she had to go to Colorado to buy a horse. Have you any idea how many Pennsylvania horses must have looked up at our plane and felt rejected. Guy horses must have a very high rejection rate when you think about it...because they're almost always gelded...which eliminates them from most of your sexier filly's top ten horsing around lists.

As a Louie-Louie Generation guy, I don't like the sound of the word gelded. Vasectomy is a much more manly term.

It is so...comfortable, sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room. I guess part of it is that as a Louie-Louie Generation guy, I'm past the age where I always have to prove that I'm just as good as I never was. Louie-Louie Generation guys are comfortable. We know that "He who dies with the most toys wins." But on the other hand, we also know that he doesn't get to play with them, because he's dead. The Pimple People haven't figured that out yet. They're not comfortable. They're always scrambling trying to catch up with us. Big Louie, his own bad self, has a statement for the Pimple People. He says, "Pimple People of the world, you shall indeed inherit the earth...after we're done with it."

I'm always amazed at how un-comfortable Pimple People guys are. This is no kidding. You can't make this up. There is a National Coalition for Men. Their stated goal is to "Help emotionally adrift men." They deal with big deal problems like should a man open a door for a woman? Should he talk about his feelings? And most amazing of all is their top topic: What is the role of the male in this increasingly complex society? Louie-Louie Generation guys have a very simple answer to all those Pimple People Problems. Big Louie, his own bad self says, "Just don't hurt anybody, and do what's comfortable for yourself." That ought to do it.

Tonight, I'm the masked man...sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room. The mask probably isn't important. You probably wouldn't recognize me anyway without my blue leotard and red cape, with the big L for Louie on the back. If you're new to this podcast, this is about life for the Louie-Louie Generation...lads and ladies for whom that song has been a big part of the background of our lives.

It's not just about age. It's actually mostly about 'tude. Attitude. We've got it. We don't age. We ferment instead. I'm hiding my face from Face Book. And not only am I not a Face Book friend, I am a twitter quitter, and painful as it may sound, I've lopped off my link at linkedin.

I'm not anti-social. I just think some people take the word "friend" kinda lightly. Or maybe I take it too seriously. But I really love my friends. I don't have very many of them, and you know who you are. You have my email address and my phone number. You can get in touch with me any time you feel like it. You know I look forward to hearing from you. And you don't even have to call before you drop in.

But just because I met someone in the supermarket check out doesn't mean that person is my friend, regardless of how the Face Book folks see it. We all have to perform the "How are you,""Have a nice day.""Let's get together sometime soon" supermarket check out act sometimes. It's ok. But I don't want to perform all the time.

I'm looking at a dangerous new 32 inch wide flat screen hole in my living room and in fact in my life and yours. You can disappear down that hole... and boldly go... nowhere. And lots of people do. As you may have figured out, I had to replace an almost perfectly good twenty some odd year old TV set before its time. I wanted to wait till I could afford a new 3d TV, so I could watch Catherine Zeta Jones movies the way they were intended to be seen. Through slightly steamed up glasses. But my trusty old Zenith was driving me nuts with the closed captioning which it decided to turn on all by itself, and I couldn't turn it off... without the original changer, which has long since joined the original rabbit ears in Howdy Doody Heaven. And I didn't want to hear what most of the tv people were saying the first time around, without having to read it fifteen seconds later, in a voice recognition printout that has switched the language to the Klingon setting.

A long time ago, when the kids were little, I always wished there were an early morning kids show called, "Let's Go Back To Bed And Sleep A Little Longer." It would be a puppet show like Howdy Doody. The Howdy puppet would say things like, "My it's early." Then he'd yawn and say "I'm still tired. Let's all lie down and be very quiet till about 8 Am." I think it would have been a smash hit with daddies. And that's where the commercial money is. But only until daddies hit 49 years old.

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