"Maybe" the princess really did kiss a frog, and he turned into a prince...and that's why the Queen found a guy in her daughter's bedroom one morning. "Maybe" Cinderella and the other prince did live happily ever after. On the other hand, "maybe" it was the same guy, and he was really an out of work actor just "playing the part of a prince." "Maybe" is a slippery, squirrely word. Check out this podcast and find out why it's so important to all us "Louie-Louie Generation" people. You'll also find out why maybe George Washington wasn't really our first president, and why maybe you should call a sandwich a shrewsbury.

The word aerobic comes from the ancient Brooklyn word for "pain." Sometimes a "Whoops" gets in the way of a workout, partially due to that fact. Please listen before you fall into the trap of doing sit ups, or other harmful activities that could lead you to problems like "The Di Nero Syndrome."

When women watch a musician like Yanni toss his long hair while he's playing, they say, "oh isn't he wonderful." Then they turn to their boyfriends/husbands and say, "you need a haircut." So...eventually we go and get a haircut. They think that's easy. Actually, it's a ritual so dangerous it borders on human sacrifice.

Solitary sensual pleasures are an important part of Louie-Louie Generation lives. Here is your guide to Solo Scratching, Retro Rubbing, Scalping, Showering, and Sneezing. They are not only pleasurable, they are endorsed by Big Louie...his own big bad self.

A Toy Boy is not just a dyslexic Boy Toy. A Toy Boy is a "Louie-Louie Generation" guy who uses toys for the benefit of mankind...and the pursuit of woman kind. When a Toy Boy is asked when he's going to grow up, he holds up an object in the shape of a cross...made from tinker toys.

Some days, you just need a pat on the fanny from your girlfriend...like when your other girlfriend gets hurt...badly. This was one of those days. Boys with toys will understand.

What a stupid title for a song these days. Or maybe not. Is the glass half full, or is it half empty...or does that make any difference at all. This is a story about waking up with a picture of Hillary Clinton on my forehead...and going to bed with a little different way of looking at "A Wonderful World."

I found that I am suffering from "Precocious Ab Deflation." That's a highly technical term. It comes from the ancient Latin word "Pre" which means before...as in "pre-marital sex." "Cocious" is from the ancient Brooklyn word "cocious," which means "wise person"...as in "every winning team has a staff of wise cocious." So "Precocious" means what happens to you before you have a chance to get wise to what's happening. But I'm ok, because just in time...the Lone Ranger came to the rescue.

I passed my FAA Flight Physical the other day, courtesy of the fact that my Mother was a pincher. Try using the same technique I used next time you're going through some kind of crisis that makes the little voice in your head start crying for your mommy. It really does work.

Everybody needs a trophy...a prize for a lifetime of hard work. "Trophy" is from the ancient Brooklyn word "Tro", meaning to hurl an object... as in "I tro a baseball pretty hard." Fee is the Bar Association word meaning money. "Trophy" therefore means something at which I throw money. My trophy is my little airplane. And the boogie man is trying to take it from me. Some memories, some hopes, and one big fear this time.