Good Things Happen

Compatibility is the key when it comes to finding a therapist. For me, I was looking for a therapist who could be my friend—someone who gets me and can be brutally honest and give me unbiased feedback for any situations I struggle with.

I feel lucky to have found the one for me, so much so that after a couple of sessions, I started googling, “Can I be friends with my therapist, legally?”

Unfortunately, the answer is no.

However, I feel even luckier to have met a new friend at an event—Alex, who is a psychotherapist. In this episode, I share a conversation with Alex about all things therapy from both the client’s and the therapist’s perspectives.

05:52 My therapy journey – “breakup,” then “love at first sight”

11:35 The right match is personal

16:07 Alex’s career journey into psychotherapy

20:00 Modalities, specialties, client demographics

27:18 Behind the scenes of a session

36:00 Why can’t I be friends with my therapist?

40:40 What makes a session feel “productive”?

43:19 Misconceptions about therapists

52:31 Free alternative self-help resources

Guest: Alexandra Maduro | Website: https://www.alexandramaduro.com

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Music from https://uppbeat.io/t/northwestern/all-i-need

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As first-generation immigrants with a Chinese upbringing and an North American education, we experience cultural and generational conflicts with our parents in a unique way. However, our relationships are stronger for it, and we are optimistic that our self-work can save both our parents and future kids a trip to the therapist's office.

2:36 Intense family time with meltdowns and reflections

6:34 We never had a teenage rebellion

9:19 To keep constant contact, is it a tyranny?

23:53 Our cultural conflicts with parents as first-generation immigrants

26:00 With the intention of care comes the impact of judgments

30:18 Moms reject compliments as a coping mechanism

44:25 Feeling like a puppet in their master plan of conventional success

48:08 Oversensitive or genuinely traumatized?

52:10 Mom told me I was not pretty

1:00:23 Unconditional love, transactional affection

1:05:03 It's their first time being parents too

References:

Music from: https://uppbeat.io/t/mvmt-music/carefree-vibes

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Catching up with my friend who has been on exchange programs for almost a year to talk about the things in our lives and on our minds.

04:48 I feel happier after selling the bathroom scale

08:28 Cultural difference of "Getting what you want"

17:06 I wish I could go back and learn better in middle school

23:25 "You will sweep the street if you don't get better grades"

26:50 Reinventing my corporate persona at a new job

30:35 Traits of success = masculine?

34:24 Past, future, and present

37:04 Are we too two-dimensional?

39:05 Everything but food will end up in the landfill

References:

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Music from: https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/bright-life

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绿宝 ⁠(Lvbao)⁠ and I open up about our past struggles with unhealthy eating habits and body image. While we find ourselves in a better place today, the ghosts of our toxic relationships with our bodies and food continue to occupy our minds.

13:45 6-year-old Lvbao got called "fat" by other parents

22:10 Dieting was the zeitgeist of middle school

25:21 COVID lockdown - binge, fast, and repeat

39:04 Feeling "mentally fatter" in Asia

44:34 Every body has its natural state

51:02 Weight dictates my mood from waking up to going to bed

56:22 I could finally give up that last bite

57:51 Listening to the body: am I hungry or just stressed?

1:02:24 Parents telling us to lose weight over video calls

1:04:48 Fatphobia: why don't you just eat less?

1:07:54 The famine generation cannot comprehend emotional eating

1:09:09 -"I am so fat" -"No you are not, I'm fat!"

1:12:18 The guilty conscious of posting pictures of my body

Music from: https://uppbeat.io/t/simon-folwar/happy-places

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I invited my friend Joy to chat about adult friendships, including our own. We were initially introduced by a mutual acquaintance, and on our very first friend date, we felt an instant connection. Seven months and ten-ish? of hangouts later, we sat down together to reflect on our first impressions, emotional milestones, what we value in friends, and how our approaches to and understanding of friendships have evolved along with our personal growth.

Hello everyone, welcome to the first episode of Good Things Happen podcast, where I share conversations and reflections on the things that happened and the good that came out of it.