Bedtime Stories for My Kids about Nothing

Grades, Growth & Goofy Memories


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In this episode, Mom talks about:

  • 😴 Calming down on purpose and reminding you this is not an exciting podcast
  • 🧠 What Mom remembers (and doesn’t remember) from different ages of life

Grade 2 memories:

  • 🏫 Being in a portable classroom with no bathroom
  • 🧑‍🏫 A teacher named Miss Cooper (maybe)
  • 🍯 A confusing parent presentation involving either hot dogs or caramel sauce
  • 😖 A kid being too grossed out to taste delicious sundae sauce
  • 🧠 Thoughts about visualization, sensory stuff, and why people react differently
  • 🍽️ Uncle Craig being very stressed about food
  • 🤢 A vivid memory of him dramatically taking “one bite” and spitting it out
  • 🛝 Blacktop recess, falling on ice, and being deeply embarrassed about a scraped face
  • 🎃 Dressing as the Hunchback of Notre Dame for Halloween (yes, really)

Grade 5 memories (a BIG year):

  • 📦 Moving houses and switching schools
  • 😬 Lying in bed the night before the first day, wondering who you’ll be
  • 🏃‍♀️ Becoming “an athlete” (high jump, basketball, track dreams)
  • 👕 Wearing a rainbow silk shirt because silk was VERY cool
  • 😳 Learning about cliques, popularity, crushes, and Truth or Dare
  • 💋 A very confusing first kiss that may not have been a kiss at all
  • 👯 Meeting new friends, one who tumbles!
  • 🏊 Pools, dives, gymnastics tricks, and “watch what I can do” energy
  • 🎥 Making homemade music videos with a giant video camera
  • 📺 Trying (and failing) to submit a fake video to America’s Funniest Home Videos

Grade 6 & 7 memories:

  • 🏫 Switching schools again and feeder schools merging
  • 🤝 Reuniting old friends with new friends
  • 💞 Lifelong friendships forming
  • 😮 Realizing scary changes can turn into really good ones
  • 🧠 Comparing this to your brother’s school change — and how he thrived

Age 24 memories:

  • 🎨 Working at a magazine and LOVING life
  • ✍️ Being a designer who also loved writing
  • 🤡 Extremely questionable workplace pranks (do not try this at home)
  • 👑 Signing a coworker up for Miss Universe as a prank (she placed Top 17 in Canada 😳)
  • 👢 Swapping new shoes for old ones as a prank
  • 💨 Convincing a new boss Mom had a medical farting condition (using a fart app)
  • 🖼️ Secretly planting a framed headshot in a coworker’s desk
  • 😂 Laughing about it all years later at reunions

Life thoughts sprinkled throughout:

  • 🧩 You don’t remember everything — just weird little moments
  • 🌱 Change is scary but usually helps you grow
  • 🧠 If you want to remember something forever, tell yourself that in the moment
  • ❤️ You are loved for who you are, not what you do
  • 😴 You are very allowed to fall asleep during this episode

Sleep safety rating: extremely safe
Important note: Mom hopes you’re already asleep

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Bedtime Stories for My Kids about NothingBy Robin