Grappling with the Gray

Few things in life are black and white. That’s why we have to learn to Grapple with the Gray.

Here is today’s ethics challenge:

True story:

After eleven years working as office manager for a medium-sized company, Charlene found a position with another company offering a higher salary and improved benefits. Her future employer wanted her to start in two weeks, but her current contract required her to give four weeks’ notice.

She went to her employer, explained the situation, and asked to be released from the four-week notice restriction. Her employer flatly refused. When she explained that the job might not be available to her if she did not start in two weeks, her employer said that if she left her position early she would be placed on a no-rehire list, she would not be paid for her remaining paid-time-off, and that she would receive no end-of-the-year bonus. (It was mid-December).

The next Friday was payday. Charlene waited until her paycheck cleared, then stopped coming to work. She never called in or let anyone know about her absence, leaving her former colleagues scrambling to cover her responsibilities. No one in the office ever heard from her after that.

Where did the problems actually begin, and how might it have been prevented from blossoming to produce this result?

Meet the panel:

Jane Adshead-Grant Adshead Grant is a Master Certified Coach, leadership facilitator, author, speaker, and faculty member of Time to Think, LTD..

Dr. Nora Gold is a prize-winning author, the publisher and Editor-in-Chief of Jewish Fiction .net (an online literary journal), and a former professor of social work.

Dr. Robyn Odegaard is a concierge, high performance psychologist who works with successful individuals who have “hit a bump in the road” in one area of their life. She helps keep the chaos of that bump from spreading to the rest of their life.

Few things in life are black and white. That’s why we have to learn to Grapple with the Gray.

Here is today’s ethics challenge:

A medical supply company creates a surgical implant designed to stop seizures in patients with epilepsy and similar conditions.  In beta testing, the implant proves effective in only 15% of patients, but for those patients it is a miracle cure.

However, because of the low success rate, it is not economically viable for the company to produce or market the device.  Moreover, the company does not want the expense of maintaining the software system that monitors and regulates the implant.  By disabling the system, those trial patients whose seizures have been eliminated will likely face the return of their symptoms, possibly worse than they were before.

Does the company have an ethical obligation to maintain the software?

Meet this week's panelists:

Mark Brown, Certified Speaking Professional, is an executive coach and World Champion of Speaking.

Lisa Nichols is CEO of Technology Partners, an award-winning, certified Women Business Enterprise, and host of the Something Extra podcast.

Robert Zafft is an Ethics Keynote Speaker, Executive Leadership coach, Corporate trainer, and author of The Right Way to Win.

When you do the wrong thing for the right reason, it is still the wrong thing?

Is it possible to apply the principle of fairness so even-handedly that it leads to unfair outcomes?

Since mercy is the suspension of justice, how do we avoid sacrificing a core value when we have to choose between them?

Few things in life are black and white.  That’s why we have to learn to Grapple with the Gray.

Here is this episode's ethics challenge?

A St. Louis man who lived in Germany for three decades under a false identity was sentenced in federal court yesterday to time served and three years of supervised release.

After graduating high school in 1981, DeLeo Barner joined the military.  In 1984, he was dismissed from the military for "missing a readiness alert."

Within three weeks of returning to the home of his youth, two of Barner's friends were shot dead on the streets of his neighborhood in St. Louis.  Many others were either dead or in prison.

Wanting to rejoin the military and escape the violence of his neighborhood, Barner stole the identity of another St. Louis man and joined the army as Joel Sanders.  He was stationed in Berlin for many years until receiving a medical discharge in 1988.

For three decades, he remained in Germany working for security firms there. He built a civilian life as Joel Sanders until 2018, when his ruse was discovered. At the time of his arrest, Barner had a German girlfriend and eight children, six of whom still reside in Berlin. He pled guilty to one count of fraud and was sentenced to time served, but the terms of his release prevent him from returning to his home in Germany and to his family, including his 13 year old daughter.

Granted that he had been actively engaged in the crime of fraud for three decades, should the law take into account specific conditions of essentially victimless crimes committed in the distant past, or does the integrity of the legal system require accountability from offenders regardless of collateral damage?

Meet this week’s panelists:

Nick Gallo, aka the Ethics Evangelist, is CEO of Compliance Line, as well as creator and host of The Ethics Experts podcast.

Kimi Hirotsu Ziemski is Founder of KSP Partnership, providing project management and project leadership courses and workshops to improve team dynamics and communications.

Annette Simmons is a speaker, trainer, consultant, and author of The Story Factor -- named one of the 100 Best Business Books of All Time.

Few things in life are black and white. That’s why we have to learn to Grapple with the Gray.

This episode's ethics challenge:

A noted psychologist had just finished his address to a group of professionals when a member of the audience approached him and introduced himself. The psychologist immediately recognized the name. Before him stood a world-famous doctor, once featured on the cover of Time Magazine, whose medical innovations had transformed treatments and revolutionized curative procedures.

The esteemed doctor proceeded to confess that he had suffered his entire life from depression. As a boy, he loved to draw, and he had possessed a natural talent for artistic design. Growing up, he dreamt of one day becoming a successful architect.

But his parents had other ideas. “Architecture?” they asked. “No. You need to use your intelligence to support a family. You are going to medical school.”

And so he did, with almost unparalleled success. Nonetheless, despite his extraordinary contributions to medicine, the doctor felt unfulfilled in life for not having pursued his passion.

Sometime later, the psychologist lamented the insistence of the doctor’s parents, how they had deprived him of the life he had wanted and the sense of purpose that he had never realized. When he finished, the psychologist found himself confronted by several doctors from the audience.

“We know who you were talking about,” they said. “Do you have any idea how many lives were saved through his procedures and inventions? How dare you suggest that his own personal gratification outweighs the contribution he made to the world and the people he benefited.”

The psychologist later expressed his ambivalence. Were those other doctors right? Was the cost of personal satisfaction outweighed by the value to society? He admitted that he did not have an answer himself.

Meet this week’s panelists:

Kimberly Davis is an author, TEDx speaker, and founder of the Brave Leadership University, leading development programs world-wide, around authentic leadership, purpose, presence, and influence.

Lieutenant Colonel JC Glick, LTC (R), U.S. Army, MA Glick is a retired Army Ranger. He is a leadership, strategy, and culture advisor, as well as an author and TEDx speaker.

Stewart McClain is a speaker, author, and president of All Hoods Unite, providing mentoring, mental health support, and advocacy for the homeless.

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Few things in life are black and white. That’s why we have to learn to Grapple with the Gray.

This episode's ethics challenge:

In case you missed it, on Oct. 2, 2021, while interviewing NASCAR driver Brandon Brown, the winner at the Talladega Superspeedway in Alabama, an NBC Sports reporter misinterpreted the chanting of the crowd as “Let’s go, Brandon.” They were actually chanting “F—- Joe Biden.” Instantaneously,, "Let's Go Brandon" became code for expressing contempt for the president.

Not long afterward, a client came to me with the following question:

The client was attracted to a particular cryptocurrency she thought to be a promising investment. However, the name of the currency was FJB -- not just the letters, but the words written out. The client told me that, as a matter of principle, she avoids profanity and tries to disassociate herself from it at all times.

Then she asked whether her sensitivity to profanity was reason to decline investing in the currency if, by doing so, she would forfeit any potential financial gain.

Points to ponder:

To what degree are we obligated to disassociate ourselves from people, projects, products, or opportunities that violate our own personal standards, even if they have wide social acceptance and do not violate the law?

If we would advise the woman not to invest, how is this different from “Cancel Culture,” in which individuals or groups respond to behaviors or attitudes they find objectionable by withdrawing support, financial or otherwise?

Meet this week’s panelists:

Deb Coviello, aka the Drop in CEO, is an author, speaker, podcast host, and silver medalist curler who coaches C-Suite leaders of today and tomorrow to navigate challenges with confidence.
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Sonia Funk is a Speaker and Corporate Wellness Strategist for Leaders and their Teams, and also an award-winning Canadian singer/songwriter.

Libby Kiszner, coming to us all the way from Jerusalem, is a developmental editor and writing coach, helping authors share their wisdom with the world, find fulfillment, and attain financial success.

Few things in life are black and white.  That’s why we have to learn to Grapple with the Gray.

This episode's ethics challenge:

Most humor elicits laughter at someone else’s expense: ridicule, mocking, derision and, frequently, misrepresentation. Late night television has built a cottage industry out of corrosive humor.

It wasn’t always that way.  An old article in Civilization Magazine explained the difference between irony and sarcasm by contrasting late night hosts Johnny Carson and David Letterman.  The ironic Carson often laughed at himself.  The sarcastic Letterman was always laughing at someone else.  Especially disquieting is a study that found sarcastic people are perceived as being more intelligent.

Satire seems to fall in the middle.  I was called to task recently by a correspondent challenging the ethics of my video series, The Ethics Consultant, in which I use the straw man tactic of a one-sided conversation to raise ethical challenges, often in response to headline news.

The commenter wrote:  “I can't think of anything less ethical than to openly discuss something with someone who isn't there and create your own answers for them.”

In principle, his observation is sound.  But do the rules apply equally in the context of satire? Did I cross an ethical line?  Ethical minds want to know.

Caveat: I haven’t invited you because I want you to defend me.  I want an honest discussion of the topic.

Meet this week’s panelists:

Paul Edwards used to drive large military vehicles through the deserts of the Middle East, armed with an assault rifle. Today, he’s a ghostwriter who often gets mistaken for a therapist.
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Bonni Scepkowski is an unapologetically triple-vaxxed meeting professional specializing in life sciences who has spent 25 years surrounding herself with people smarter than she is.

Dr. Bruce Weinstein, The Ethics Guy®. Bruce Weinstein aka The Ethics Guy is a speaker, trainer, Forbes contributor, and CEO of the Institute for High-Character Leadership.

Only by investigating all sides and contemplating every angle can we improve decision-making skills, build more trusting relationships, and help create a more ethical world.

This episode's ethics challenge:

A close friend calls you up and explains that his brother and his family are planning a vacation.  His brother, however, is struggling financially and can’t afford nice accommodations.  Your friend wants to help his brother cover the cost of the trip, but he knows his brother is too proud to accept his help.

He has a plan.  He’ll tell his brother that he has a friend – you – who owns an AirBNB where he can stay for no charge.  Your friend will pay you for rental, and his brother will think you’re just doing your friend a favor by letting his brother stay there.

You agree.

The brother comes with his family, and they have a wonderful vacation.  As they’re packing up and preparing to leave, they repeatedly express how grateful they are for your kindness and present you with a thank-you gift – a fancy crystal vase bought at a local curio shop.

Do you accept the gift?

Meet this week's panel:

Deb Brown Maher

https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbrownmaher/

Yoram Solomon

https://www.linkedin.com/in/yoramsolomon/

Andy Vargo

https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyvargo/

Only by investigating all sides and contemplating every angle can we improve ethical decision-making, build more trusting relationships, and help create a more ethical world.

This episode's ethics challenge:

You've just finished your medical residency.  You've been hired by a respected hospital that wants you to start immediately.  However, because of state regulations and bureaucratic red tape, your accreditation to practice medicine will be delayed and you won't be able to start working for two months.

You are eligible for unemployment.  However, your parents paid for medical school so you have no student debt, and your spouse has a good-paying job so you face no financial pressure.

Do you file for unemployment?

Meet the panelists:

Jennifer Elder

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferhelder/

Catherine Fitzgerald

https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-a-fitzgerald/

Dr. Robyn Odegaard

https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

You can’t be ethical until you’ve fully examined and understood both sides of any issue.

Few things in life are black and white. That’s why we have to learn to Grapple with the Gray.

This episode's ethics challenge:

Popular movies are often introduced with the message, “Based on true events,” implying a reasonably accurate depiction of reality. We take it for granted that there may be a bit of poetic license, but we probably expect that the basic facts of the story will be authentically represented.

But that’s not always the case.

The movie Remember the Titans is about Herman Boone, a black football coach in the deep south in the 1970s. In the movie, his team was the only racially integrated team in the conference. In reality, all the teams were integrated by then.

In the movie Cinderella Man, boxing champion James Braddock goes into the ring against Max Baer, who had killed another boxer in a previous fight. The movie portrays Baer as a vicious killer. In reality, he was horrified by his opponent's death and had to be convinced not to retire from boxing.

In the movie Argo, the final scene shows Iranian security officials chasing the American plane down the tarmac as it carries the American escapees to safety. The scene was a Hollywood fabrication.

What about historical fiction in general: does it bring history to life or does it blur the lines between fact and fiction?

It’s been said that you shouldn’t let the facts get in the way of a good story. What responsibility do storytellers have to be truthful? When do we cross the line from poetic license into the realm of fantasy or deception? What are the effects on society when the truth isn’t good enough to keep an audience engaged?

Meet this week’s panelists:

Sarah Elkins is a communication and leadership coach, using the power of storytelling to connect, engage, and inspire.

Mark O'Brien is founder and principal of O’Brien Communications Group, helping Companies Manage Their Brands, Solve Their Problems, and Simplify the Complex.

Matthew Rosenberg teaches communication, argumentation, and critical discourse at Oregon State University.

You can’t be ethical until you’ve fully examined and understood both sides of any issue.

Few things in life are black and white.  That’s why we have to learn to Grapple with the Gray.

This episode's ethics challenge:

Upon arriving at the grocery store, Sonny remembered that this was a “green” store that charged extra to supply shopping bags, and he had neglected to bring his own bags.  Not wanting to pay for more bags, he stepped outside and helped himself to one of the many cardboard containers that were stacked up outside for recycling.  He put the carton in his shopping cart and filled it with his groceries as he shopped.

On his way out of the store, Sonny found himself blinded by the flash of camera lights and face to face with a microphone.

“Congratulations!” a man said in a booming voice.  “You’ve been chosen as the Pepsi customer of the day.”

Unbeknownst to Sonny, this camera crew prowled the city daily to bestow prizes on random Pepsi customers as they emerged from their shopping adventures.

“That’s great,” said Sonny.  “But I didn’t buy any Pepsi products.”

“Of course, you did,” replied the man with the microphone.  “You have a Pepsi carton right there in your shopping cart.”

Only then did Sonny realize that the box he had grabbed from the front of the store was emblazoned with the Pepsi logo.  Sonny immediately began explaining the mistake, but neither microphone man nor his crew seemed the least bit interested.  They put a Pepsi baseball cap on Sonny’s head, handed him a $100 gift card, and vanished as quickly as they had appeared.

Should Sonny keep the gifts?

Meet this week’s panelists:

Solomon Ezra Berezin is a health and performance coach, using nutrition, meditation, and mindfulness to develop a mindset for success.

Jeff Koziatek is a certified speaker and peak performance coach, helping professionals to navigate change, sharpen focus, avoid burnout, and make a difference.

Mary Kutheis is a certified executive coach, Axiogenics coach, and author of Making Minutes Matter: a guide to being content with how you spend your time.