This episode is also available as a blog post: http://thecrookedwheel.com/2022/09/05/grease-and-chicken-wings-the-secret-to-a-happy-marriage/

NEW YORK, NY—According to a study released Monday by the Institute for American Values, a happy marriage can be achieved by following three simple rules:

1) never argue in front of the TV,

2) always keep the house stocked with plenty of chicken wings, and

3) grease yourself up good.

"In our study, we found that couples who follow these three simple rules are more than twice as likely to stay married," said IAV director David Blankenhorn.

"We also discovered that couples who don't argue in front of the TV are more likely to have sex, which is also very important."

The study also found that husbands who bring home a paycheck and wives who don't spend all day on the phone with their girlfriends are equally important to marital happiness.