Jesus . . . was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept.

— John 11:33-35

When my sons’ mother died unexpectedly, my wife, sons, and stepdaughter and I came together in deep, shared grief. The intensity of our sorrow felt profoundly isolating. But I’ve come to understand our pain in a new light.

Though deeply personal, grief connects us to a broader compassionate community. People have chosen to enter into our pain. It’s reminiscent of Jesus’ care for Mary and Martha when Lazarus died. Though fully aware of the outcome, Jesus entered their mourning, weeping along with them. His empathy was about understanding their loss and sharing in their suffering and grief.

Similarly, we are part of a community that understands loss all too well. Parents mourn children lost to disease and violence, siblings grieve the loss of siblings to addiction or accidents, and young children mourn lost parents. It’s a fellowship we haven’t chosen, but in it we find support, solace, and strength.

My sons and I meet with a grief counselor every other week, sharing our pain and memories about their mother. Our counselor, who has also experienced tragic loss, stands with us in our grief. Together we find strength in this shared experience, navigating sorrow with a sense of communal support and understanding.

Father, thank you for the bonds formed through shared suffering and trauma. May we reflect the comfort and grace of Jesus, who shares in our suffering and grief and brings healing. Amen.