After a death we do a lot of looking backwards. We think about what we should have known or done differently. We imagine a different world, and ideal world, if things had just taken another path. This becomes wound up in our grief - we beat ourselves up for the past based on things we can only know in the present. In this episode we talk through what that looks like, why we do it, and how to avoid getting sucked too far down the blackholes of counterfactual thinking and hindsight bias in grief.