Grief is a profound journey, but you don’t have to walk it alone. In this episode, I share my personal experience with "grief leave" and offer tools to help you navigate loss with compassion, presence, and self-care. From understanding the layers of grief to simple practices that soothe the heart and body, this episode is here to support you through tender times.

In the episode we'll explore:

💌 Don’t forget to download the free Power Pause Pocket Guide for more grounding tools and resources to help you find calm and clarity during difficult times: https://www.megan-nolan.com/pocket 

You’re not alone in this journey—let’s navigate it together.

Please find the show notes below. Since it is a transcription there may be spelling errors and/or weird grammar. Ignore that and enjoy!

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Hello and welcome to a movement of people

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who care so much about how they feel that

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they make time for themselves and their

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health every day. I'm a leader of this

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movement and the host of this podcast,

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and my name is Megan Nolan. I am a

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personal trainer, a yoga instructor, a

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mental fitness coach, a best-selling

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author, an award-winning speaker, and I'm

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neurodivergent. So yeah, I got lots going

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on too. But I'm on a mission to help

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you make sure that not only you get to do

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all the big, incredible things that are

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on your heart to do in the world, but you

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also get to actually enjoy your

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life and everything that you've created

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too. And that's what this podcast is all

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about, helping you to do just that. So

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let's jump in to today's episode.

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Hello and welcome back. Today we're

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talking about taking a grief leave.

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Navigating loss through compassion,

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spaciousness and self-care. Welcome to

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this episode of the Movement, Mind and

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Meaning podcast and I'm your host, Megan

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Nolan. So I don't know if I

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officially made it up, but last week

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I came up with a term grief leave

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and I looked it up and there wasn't

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really anything that came through, but I

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uncovered that there is something that is

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traditionally recognized as a bereavement

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leave. And essentially, they mean the

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same thing when you're experiencing the

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grief or the mourning or the sadness

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or the confusion or the void or

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the emptiness that comes after you

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lose someone or something that you love.

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That period of grief

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that needs to be honored, that deserves

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to be tended to, is

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what?I feel is what we're

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doing when we take space for

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ourselves and taking a leave and

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mourning, mourning the loss and

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bereavement is an older word that

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means all of that and actually comes from

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the root is to take away or to

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deprive and so it really

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represents that. You know, when we lose

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someone or something that that's been

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taken away and removed from our life and

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we're we're mourning the absence of that

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person or that being or that

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quality or what relationship or whatever

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it is, right?Because we can grieve many

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things. And I think it's really important

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that we honor the tenderness.

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And when I'm presented this

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on my social media to acknowledge

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that I was taking this. So many

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people were grateful for this recognition

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because The thing is, is that we all

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experience grief, unfortunately, right?If

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we're lucky enough to to love and to

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lose, to live long enough

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to be able to experience this deep

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connection in this love and relationship

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with something. And oftentimes the

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other side of that is to lose that

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right is to have that be taken away.

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Because as much as some people resist

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this, death is a natural part of life and

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andWhether it's death or a change in

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relationship or whatever it is that

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you're grieving, you know, oftentimes

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it's, and in my case it was the loss of

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our pet. So Bailey was our 16 year old

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dog and he had congestive heart disease

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and it was time, you know, and it was a

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compassionate decision. It was a really,

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really hard decision.

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And at the point of recording

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this, it's been a week

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and I'm

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really, I'm navigating it.

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Because the reality is, is that when we

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are tender in the heart space

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and we're navigating what it feels like

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to be in this space of

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fragility and to

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navigate what it feels like to have feel

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like our heart is broken and and

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sad and heavy and still

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navigate life at the same time, that can

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be extremely difficult. Because the one

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thing I've come to realize about grief is

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that the only thing that's predictable

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about it is its unpredictability,

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and how it literally just

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blindsides you out of nowhere, and

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how it's so important for us to

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take the time to hold

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ourself in this tenderness

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and in this feeling

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of. Sadness and loss and

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grief and pain and anger and resentment

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and frustration and and and

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denial and acceptance and all of these

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aspects of the spiral that is grief. And

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it's not a linear process, right?You

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know, and you've likely heard of those

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those stages of grief by Elisabeth

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Kubler-Ross and and she

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reworked that a little bit because people

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were frustrated that they weren't

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naturally progressing through the stages.

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And that's what she uncovered is that

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there's no. Natural, you know, step by

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step of this is that these are things

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that you likely might experience, but not

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necessarily in sequential order and maybe

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sometimes all at the same time. And The

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thing is, is that when we're experiencing

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this tender vulnerability of loss,

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it can be really challenging for us to

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be present to the the natural

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demands and requirements of our

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day-to-day the way that you normally

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would be. Essentially there's

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this. It's almost like emotionally

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we are needing this space to

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heal, like when we have an

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illness, right?Well, like when we're

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sick, it's that energy that we're in.

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When we're in grief, it requires a

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slowing down. It requires a

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gentle tending that isn't

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necessarily going to happen. If we just

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jump right back into life and we try

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to pretend like we're not feeling this

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way and try to just, you know, put on a

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happy face and go about it, which

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for many of us who've had mental health

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challenges is unfortunately something you

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might be capable of doing, right?And so

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this is called masking. It's just putting

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on a happy face and putting on a mask and

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pretending that it's, you know,

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everything's fine and. If you were

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dealing with anxiety or depression, you

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likely are familiar with that, right?You

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just kind of plodding through life or

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making your way through the day when

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you're feeling this way internally and

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you know how conflicted it is. But I feel

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like there's a level that we we can't do

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that at, at least for me. There's a level

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that of emotional intensity that I simply

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cannot pretend that I'm OK. And that to

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me is why the grief leave is so

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important, because it really

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does support us.

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In being present to the

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emotions and

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acknowledging that it is a difficult and

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challenging place to be by slowing

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down and

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really being a witness to the

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spirals of it and how it catches you and

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to use the tools, right. And we're going

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to use a tool in a little bit. We're

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going to take a power pause. I'm going to

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teach you a breathing pattern that's

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really been super helpful for me

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and there's a lot of tools. And a lot of

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it is just allowing yourself to

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witness the feeling and to feel

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into it. And that might seem

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counterproductive because when

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I started to explore this with my

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therapist is that to feel the feeling

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seems terrifying because it's already so

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painful. But the crazy thing is, is that

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when we are just looping in the mind.

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And having the mind tell us all these

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stories and just be in this torment and

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the pain and and acknowledge that. I

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acknowledge that that's very real. But

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when we allow ourselves to settle

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and to be in the feeling, to be in the

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heaviness, to be in it, but be resourced,

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be held in in love and be surrounded

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either, you know, energetically by your

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your seen and unseen team, right?You

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know, your spirit guides or you're just

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surrounded by. By this knowing that you

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know this too will pass, like there's so

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many beautiful ways to to resource

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yourself, to support yourself through

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these moments. And for me that has been

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to just really visualize this

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beautiful, almost

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big, massive healing

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energy in the in the shape of a heart, in

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the shape of of love, of of

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the unending on.

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Deniable presence of the energy

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of the universe, the energy of creation,

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the energy of the divine that is at its

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deepest core love. And that in

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order for us to be able to be

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present with this sadness and this grief

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is an acknowledgement of the love that we

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had for whatever you may or may not have

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lost and. That's really

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what grief is. It's it's the opposite

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side to the depth of which we loved

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someone or something and appreciated it.

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It's the balance, right?It's the yin and

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the yang and the duality. And so it's

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this really interesting thing is to think

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about like when we go into that feeling

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of sadness and we feel the grief and we

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allow ourselves to be in it and we be

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in the feeling of it, but in that place

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of being held by this resource of

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whatever it is of the. The waves of love

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or this feeling, or like the warm blanket

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that's supporting you, the mat, the floor

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that's underneath you, like to be held by

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something or someone, right?If

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you if you have people around you that

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can hold you, it's literally really

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taking you to a place where you can,

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where you can allow

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yourself to feel. Because so much of what

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we do in the mind is is to try to bypass

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the the harder emotions. And not

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feel them to get to the other side. And

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that's where this practice of

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just allowing yourself to be in it and to

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it's a sacred practice in a sense,

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right. And you're allowing yourself to

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feel the emotions because if we're just

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trying to get back to regular life, we

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bypass it and we're not allowing

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ourselves the that beautiful richness

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of this part of the human experience that

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is the opposite to this deep love is

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this grief. And so it's.

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Really holding space for yourself in this

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compassionate way and

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you know there's so many beautiful

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practices and and I think of in the

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Jewish tradition where they sit in Shiva

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and Shiva and they sit together

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and they sit and they are there and they

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are in stillness and they they are in

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that place together and

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it's that nobody knows what to say. So

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you know and and I'm not super familiar

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with the practice so please you know I.

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I'm only going on what little I know, but

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00:10:52,728 --> 00:10:54,968
I do know that it is a beautiful, sacred

266
00:10:54,968 --> 00:10:55,688
container.

267
00:10:57,968 --> 00:10:59,288
And we all need that.

268
00:11:00,888 --> 00:11:03,128
We need, we need these

269
00:11:03,128 --> 00:11:05,608
practices to truly experience these

270
00:11:05,608 --> 00:11:07,608
feelings. And when it's these

271
00:11:08,488 --> 00:11:11,168
tighter, contractive emotions, we tend to

272
00:11:11,168 --> 00:11:14,008
not want to feel them. But grief is such

273
00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,808
a rich, deep

274
00:11:16,888 --> 00:11:19,048
place and.

275
00:11:19,768 --> 00:11:22,568
It is, of course it's not comfortable.

276
00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:25,568
And so really just watching that, you

277
00:11:25,568 --> 00:11:27,768
know, for me at least I can speak to is

278
00:11:27,768 --> 00:11:30,408
that at least lately,

279
00:11:31,288 --> 00:11:32,888
you know, I'm sitting in it allowing

280
00:11:32,888 --> 00:11:34,408
myself to grieve. I'm having these

281
00:11:34,408 --> 00:11:37,288
periods of of intentional grieving, right?

282
00:11:37,288 --> 00:11:40,008
And and during this, this spaciousness

283
00:11:40,008 --> 00:11:42,168
that I'm giving myself in my life, I'm

284
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:44,008
taking these periods throughout the day

285
00:11:44,248 --> 00:11:46,608
and when they come, you know, as needed

286
00:11:46,608 --> 00:11:48,169
because they just come when they want to

287
00:11:48,169 --> 00:11:50,409
come sometimes. But I am taking these

288
00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:52,809
intentional moments to be in the energy

289
00:11:53,089 --> 00:11:55,969
of the feeling that I feel and to,

290
00:11:56,489 --> 00:11:59,409
you know, feel my my heart weeping these

291
00:11:59,409 --> 00:12:02,249
tears of sadness for this absence of this

292
00:12:02,249 --> 00:12:04,409
beautiful being that was my doggy for so

293
00:12:04,409 --> 00:12:07,329
many years. And I

294
00:12:07,329 --> 00:12:10,129
allow that to come and I and it just it

295
00:12:10,809 --> 00:12:12,849
it's rough, right?It's rough and it's

296
00:12:12,849 --> 00:12:14,689
intense and I'm feeling it and I'm there

297
00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:16,329
and I'm in it. But then this

298
00:12:17,209 --> 00:12:20,129
settling comes after. And

299
00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:22,089
this groundedness comes after

300
00:12:22,649 --> 00:12:24,969
and this feeling of

301
00:12:26,089 --> 00:12:28,169
peace comes after because that's what

302
00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:30,569
we're looking for, right?And in order for

303
00:12:30,569 --> 00:12:33,369
us to get to the other side and to have

304
00:12:33,369 --> 00:12:36,209
that be our reality again is we

305
00:12:36,209 --> 00:12:38,009
have to go through it. We can't ignore

306
00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:40,809
it. We can't bypass it. We can't pretend

307
00:12:40,809 --> 00:12:42,489
it's not happening because it won't let

308
00:12:42,569 --> 00:12:45,449
you, right?For me, it won't let me. It

309
00:12:45,449 --> 00:12:47,089
just comes at me in waves and it just

310
00:12:47,089 --> 00:12:49,169
keeps coming back because. We haven't

311
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,289
equalized in this new reality yet. We

312
00:12:51,289 --> 00:12:53,929
haven't recalibrated to this new reality

313
00:12:53,929 --> 00:12:56,809
where that loved one is not physically

314
00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:59,769
present anymore, and it takes time for

315
00:12:59,769 --> 00:13:02,009
that to happen. And

316
00:13:02,569 --> 00:13:05,129
navigating these periods with this

317
00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:07,369
devotion to your healing

318
00:13:08,249 --> 00:13:11,130
is so powerful and that's so intentional

319
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:14,530
because it's really important to

320
00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:16,610
do this and to take the grief leave. And

321
00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:19,450
so maybe you're able to. Take some actual

322
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,610
time away from work, you knowAnd

323
00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:23,530
traditionally some employers do have a

324
00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:26,410
bereavement leave and time for

325
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:28,330
mourning and time for that spaciousness.

326
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:31,210
If you're self-employed like me, you're

327
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:33,530
the one that needs to make that call,

328
00:13:33,930 --> 00:13:36,890
right?And so this is where this

329
00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:39,210
really interesting protective pattern is

330
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:42,170
coming in. And I'm witnessing of OK,

331
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:44,330
I'm taking this grief leave, but what do

332
00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:47,130
I do?And I'm finding this interesting.

333
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,250
Desire to do, you know, and to to

334
00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:53,410
to make the most of the time, which is

335
00:13:53,850 --> 00:13:56,730
totally counterproductive. But, you know,

336
00:13:57,290 --> 00:13:59,370
I don't need to be productive on my grief

337
00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:01,450
leave. And in fact, that's not really

338
00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:03,530
honoring the grief leave. If I feel like

339
00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:05,850
I need to. For example, yesterday I was

340
00:14:05,850 --> 00:14:08,090
trying to tell myself I should clean

341
00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:09,290
under the kitchen sink

342
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,370
because it's something I, you know, have

343
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:15,890
been thinking about doing for a while.

344
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:18,850
I'm like, really?Am I gonna throw out

345
00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:21,210
all cleaning products when I'm in this

346
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:24,090
place?No, noLike, it doesn't need to

347
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:26,650
be a productive time. And in fact, the

348
00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:29,410
slowing down and the spaciousness and

349
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,330
observing that tendency to want to go

350
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,171
back into that protective pattern of

351
00:14:34,171 --> 00:14:36,331
doing and taking action and just getting

352
00:14:36,331 --> 00:14:38,931
through, you know, fast tracking it in a

353
00:14:38,931 --> 00:14:40,971
sense. I'm like, wow, that's crazy.

354
00:14:41,451 --> 00:14:43,451
That's really interesting, you know, of

355
00:14:43,451 --> 00:14:45,251
how this tendency to.

356
00:14:46,731 --> 00:14:49,531
Make, you knowThis tendency

357
00:14:49,531 --> 00:14:52,171
to want to distract myself, which is

358
00:14:52,171 --> 00:14:54,571
normal, but we don't need to distract

359
00:14:54,571 --> 00:14:57,291
ourselves by going back to to

360
00:14:57,291 --> 00:14:59,371
work and just going back into the old

361
00:14:59,371 --> 00:15:01,611
patterns. And the interesting thing I'm

362
00:15:01,611 --> 00:15:03,691
noticing, and this might be something for

363
00:15:03,691 --> 00:15:06,571
you to consider, is that in

364
00:15:06,571 --> 00:15:09,371
this moment when it feels like

365
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,411
everything has fallen apart and you don't

366
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,291
recognize the world or the reality that

367
00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:18,011
you're living in because of the loss.

368
00:15:18,411 --> 00:15:20,731
And it feels like everything is in

369
00:15:20,731 --> 00:15:23,371
shambles and everything is just scattered

370
00:15:23,371 --> 00:15:26,131
all over the floor, which is where I feel

371
00:15:26,131 --> 00:15:27,611
like I'm at currently. And

372
00:15:29,451 --> 00:15:30,811
we get to look at

373
00:15:32,171 --> 00:15:34,571
this as an opportunity.

374
00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:37,771
What are you gonna let go of too?Because

375
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,611
you're letting go of this loved one,

376
00:15:39,611 --> 00:15:42,011
right?What patterns in yourself

377
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:45,131
are you willing to let go and to be done

378
00:15:45,131 --> 00:15:48,091
with and to allow to fade away and shed?

379
00:15:48,651 --> 00:15:51,371
Because the brain

380
00:15:51,371 --> 00:15:53,531
wants to just go back to the status quo.

381
00:15:53,611 --> 00:15:55,331
And that's why you may find yourself just

382
00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:56,651
wanting to, you know, get back to, get

383
00:15:56,971 --> 00:15:58,572
back to it and this and that. And there

384
00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:00,252
will be a time and you will know when

385
00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:01,852
that's time. But

386
00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:05,452
what are you going to pick up back up off

387
00:16:05,452 --> 00:16:07,852
the floor and bring back into your

388
00:16:07,852 --> 00:16:10,092
reality?That's what you get to decide in

389
00:16:10,092 --> 00:16:12,012
this grief leave and

390
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,052
looking at it from this place of what's

391
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,772
really important, right?Because. death

392
00:16:17,772 --> 00:16:19,532
always gives us this perspective of

393
00:16:19,532 --> 00:16:22,332
what's really important in life and

394
00:16:22,972 --> 00:16:25,172
What you were doing before may not

395
00:16:25,172 --> 00:16:27,692
necessarily Feel like

396
00:16:27,692 --> 00:16:30,612
something you want to continue because

397
00:16:30,612 --> 00:16:32,572
when you go through these powerful

398
00:16:32,572 --> 00:16:34,492
experiences these portals of

399
00:16:34,492 --> 00:16:36,892
transformation of loss of deep loss

400
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,492
You come through the other side as a

401
00:16:39,492 --> 00:16:42,372
different person 1000%

402
00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:45,852
and in this moment of this sort of

403
00:16:47,692 --> 00:16:50,012
Uncertainty and unsteadiness and this

404
00:16:50,012 --> 00:16:51,932
agitation and this discomfort.

405
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,372
It is, of course our mind just wants to

406
00:16:55,372 --> 00:16:56,612
get us through to the other side and not

407
00:16:56,612 --> 00:16:58,532
want to deal with this. But in the

408
00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:01,892
discomfort is the

409
00:17:01,932 --> 00:17:04,812
opportunity for transformation. Ram

410
00:17:04,812 --> 00:17:07,292
Dass calls it the sandpaper of

411
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:10,172
suffering. And so it's that

412
00:17:10,172 --> 00:17:13,012
polishing away at these old patterns. And

413
00:17:13,012 --> 00:17:15,652
so as you walk through this. Period in

414
00:17:15,652 --> 00:17:17,452
your life and you take this grief leave,

415
00:17:17,452 --> 00:17:19,132
hopefully in whatever form. And it might

416
00:17:19,132 --> 00:17:21,213
just be taking these moments throughout

417
00:17:21,213 --> 00:17:22,973
the day to really sit in the sacred

418
00:17:22,973 --> 00:17:24,653
practice of grieving and be present with

419
00:17:24,653 --> 00:17:27,453
it intentionally so that

420
00:17:27,693 --> 00:17:30,493
it lessens it a little bit gradually. Or

421
00:17:30,493 --> 00:17:32,253
maybe you're able to take some time off.

422
00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:34,653
It is this sense of

423
00:17:35,853 --> 00:17:38,493
who are you becoming in this process and.

424
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:41,333
What are you really seeing as valuable

425
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,573
and important?And there's such a

426
00:17:42,573 --> 00:17:44,293
tenderness because you're deep in your

427
00:17:44,293 --> 00:17:46,693
heart space and you're very present. And

428
00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:49,293
many indigenous practices and

429
00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:52,253
cultures and traditions suggest that

430
00:17:52,253 --> 00:17:54,013
when someone is in grief, you are far

431
00:17:54,013 --> 00:17:56,253
closer to the spirit realm and you get so

432
00:17:56,253 --> 00:17:58,733
many more insights and so much more

433
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:01,693
guidance. And it's it's a really potent

434
00:18:01,693 --> 00:18:04,573
place to be if you allow yourself

435
00:18:04,573 --> 00:18:06,973
to be there, right?And. And because in

436
00:18:06,973 --> 00:18:08,613
our culture, we're, you know, we kind of

437
00:18:08,613 --> 00:18:10,253
try to want to bypass the negative

438
00:18:10,253 --> 00:18:13,093
emotions. But here in this community, all

439
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,813
of you is welcome. All of all emotions

440
00:18:15,813 --> 00:18:18,093
are valid. And so it's important that we

441
00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:20,973
allow ourselves to sit in this and of

442
00:18:20,973 --> 00:18:22,653
course get support, get support, you

443
00:18:22,653 --> 00:18:23,893
know, reach out to your friends and

444
00:18:23,893 --> 00:18:25,293
family, your loved ones, maybe your

445
00:18:25,293 --> 00:18:26,973
therapist, maybe different modalities,

446
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,453
get support, right as needed, of course.

447
00:18:29,933 --> 00:18:31,933
But really what we're doing here is we're

448
00:18:31,933 --> 00:18:34,333
practicing this, this intentional

449
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:37,773
gentleness. And you

450
00:18:37,773 --> 00:18:40,093
know, what I uncovered with my therapist

451
00:18:40,093 --> 00:18:42,573
was this pattern in my brain that said,

452
00:18:42,813 --> 00:18:44,534
you know, you have to have these big

453
00:18:44,534 --> 00:18:47,214
emotions to to to not be alone in

454
00:18:47,214 --> 00:18:50,094
this or or it's it's

455
00:18:50,094 --> 00:18:52,294
going to be so brutal to go through this

456
00:18:52,294 --> 00:18:53,654
and why would you want to sit in it?It's

457
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,614
just going to be horrible. And that's the

458
00:18:55,614 --> 00:18:58,094
mind keeping us in this

459
00:18:58,094 --> 00:19:00,494
protective pattern. Because when I go

460
00:19:00,494 --> 00:19:02,654
into my heart and do the practice I was

461
00:19:02,654 --> 00:19:05,054
speaking to earlier of. Feeling where I

462
00:19:05,054 --> 00:19:07,854
feel it in my body, holding myself like

463
00:19:07,854 --> 00:19:10,134
I'm wrapping an energetic blanket around

464
00:19:10,134 --> 00:19:12,334
this part of myself, sitting in it,

465
00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:15,054
breathing in it. And the peace that

466
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:17,294
comes, and sometimes it

467
00:19:18,334 --> 00:19:20,494
takes time, it takes breath to get there,

468
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:22,734
it takes patience. Sometimes it's rather

469
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:25,694
quick. And I recognize that in the body,

470
00:19:26,174 --> 00:19:28,014
that sense of knowing, that sense of

471
00:19:28,014 --> 00:19:30,734
peace, that sense of deep, deep, deep

472
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,294
love, it's always right there. It's

473
00:19:33,294 --> 00:19:35,654
always available to us and we can just

474
00:19:35,654 --> 00:19:37,934
drop into it and it gets to be gentle

475
00:19:38,974 --> 00:19:41,854
and it's just a different approach.

476
00:19:42,654 --> 00:19:44,654
And it's that that willingness to

477
00:19:44,654 --> 00:19:47,294
navigate the waves, right?And to to

478
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:49,774
tend to ourselves and to turn towards

479
00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:51,774
ourselves, that part of ourselves that is

480
00:19:52,014 --> 00:19:54,494
feeling that deep loss. And notice the

481
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,574
part that's the mind that's like, why

482
00:19:56,574 --> 00:19:57,934
would you do that?You can't do this, you

483
00:19:57,934 --> 00:19:59,214
know, and like, don't go into that dark

484
00:19:59,214 --> 00:20:00,974
place. And and of course there's this

485
00:20:00,974 --> 00:20:03,134
balance, right?Especially if we are prone

486
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:04,974
to that slippery slope of sadness. But

487
00:20:04,974 --> 00:20:07,535
it's it's just that acknowledgement of

488
00:20:07,535 --> 00:20:09,455
this part of you that deserves to be

489
00:20:09,455 --> 00:20:11,775
witnessed. So one of the

490
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,015
tools that I've been using

491
00:20:15,055 --> 00:20:16,535
and that I would love to share with you

492
00:20:16,535 --> 00:20:19,175
now is the

493
00:20:19,695 --> 00:20:22,495
breath of release. Learning how to

494
00:20:22,495 --> 00:20:24,735
release tension and stress from your body

495
00:20:25,295 --> 00:20:27,295
through the breath. So we're gonna take a

496
00:20:27,295 --> 00:20:28,855
power pause. I'm gonna teach you how to

497
00:20:28,855 --> 00:20:31,775
do this now. And I would love

498
00:20:31,775 --> 00:20:34,215
for you to place your hands, one on your

499
00:20:34,215 --> 00:20:36,935
belly, one on your heart. So this is the

500
00:20:38,095 --> 00:20:40,655
physiological sigh. And you may be

501
00:20:40,975 --> 00:20:42,495
in these moments here when you've been

502
00:20:42,495 --> 00:20:44,255
experiencing grief and sadness and

503
00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:46,015
heaviness, you might have heard yourself

504
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,215
make this same sound, that ah

505
00:20:49,775 --> 00:20:51,415
And you kind of, you know that sort of

506
00:20:51,415 --> 00:20:54,255
shuddery breath that happens after we

507
00:20:54,255 --> 00:20:56,335
cry. It's actually a reset for the

508
00:20:56,335 --> 00:20:58,815
nervous system that you are doing

509
00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:01,935
instinctively. So when we use this

510
00:21:01,935 --> 00:21:03,535
breath of release, you're doing it

511
00:21:03,535 --> 00:21:06,295
actively to achieve the same calming and

512
00:21:06,295 --> 00:21:08,615
regulating impact on your nervous system.

513
00:21:09,055 --> 00:21:10,855
So it's a two-part inhale. We fill the

514
00:21:10,855 --> 00:21:13,455
lungs once and then right to the top on

515
00:21:13,455 --> 00:21:15,935
the second inhale and then on the exhale

516
00:21:15,935 --> 00:21:18,895
we. Settle and sink

517
00:21:18,895 --> 00:21:20,775
and ground yourself. So we try it

518
00:21:20,775 --> 00:21:21,615
together. Ready.

519
00:21:24,095 --> 00:21:25,295
So two-part inhale.

520
00:21:27,855 --> 00:21:29,215
You can hear the two parts.

521
00:21:31,856 --> 00:21:32,336
Try.

522
00:21:39,456 --> 00:21:40,336
Now do it slower.

523
00:21:44,416 --> 00:21:45,536
Longer on the exhale.

524
00:21:49,856 --> 00:21:50,576
With sound,

525
00:21:59,226 --> 00:21:59,946
keep going,

526
00:22:03,466 --> 00:22:05,306
keep going. Feel the shift happening.

527
00:22:13,626 --> 00:22:14,186
One more time.

528
00:22:19,786 --> 00:22:20,586
Breathe normally.

529
00:22:29,296 --> 00:22:31,056
So what we're doing in that breath, the

530
00:22:31,056 --> 00:22:32,896
breath of release, this beautiful power

531
00:22:32,896 --> 00:22:35,576
pause, is giving yourself the

532
00:22:35,616 --> 00:22:38,496
opportunity to quiet

533
00:22:38,496 --> 00:22:40,256
and regulate your nervous system. By

534
00:22:40,656 --> 00:22:43,576
intentionally slowing down the

535
00:22:43,576 --> 00:22:45,376
breath, we activate the vagus nerve. We

536
00:22:45,376 --> 00:22:47,176
turn on the parasympathetic nervous

537
00:22:47,176 --> 00:22:50,056
system. We shift you into a place of rest

538
00:22:50,056 --> 00:22:51,856
and digest. We're slowing everything

539
00:22:51,856 --> 00:22:54,697
down. We are increasing the

540
00:22:54,737 --> 00:22:57,617
oxygenation of your body as well

541
00:22:57,617 --> 00:23:00,497
as releasing more carbon dioxide. So

542
00:23:00,497 --> 00:23:02,657
we're stimulating a balance in the breath

543
00:23:02,657 --> 00:23:04,737
that way in the nervous system as well.

544
00:23:05,137 --> 00:23:07,697
And what it does is it mimics that

545
00:23:07,697 --> 00:23:09,777
natural reset that comes

546
00:23:10,017 --> 00:23:11,537
after we.

547
00:23:12,737 --> 00:23:15,617
That that side that happens. And so

548
00:23:15,937 --> 00:23:17,697
it's such a powerful way. And we're also

549
00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:19,817
expanding the lung capacity, which is so

550
00:23:19,817 --> 00:23:22,257
important. We're expanding your capacity

551
00:23:22,257 --> 00:23:24,897
to hold space for this

552
00:23:25,057 --> 00:23:27,977
in your body, right, but also in your

553
00:23:27,977 --> 00:23:30,657
nervous system to hold space in this

554
00:23:30,657 --> 00:23:33,617
way of. This challenging emotional

555
00:23:33,617 --> 00:23:36,097
state that is a natural part of our human

556
00:23:36,097 --> 00:23:38,297
experience. So this is the impact of a

557
00:23:38,297 --> 00:23:41,057
power pause. And so right now this

558
00:23:41,057 --> 00:23:42,817
what we did just here is if you're

559
00:23:42,817 --> 00:23:44,497
watching this on its own as a video on

560
00:23:44,497 --> 00:23:46,977
YouTube, is part of this full experience

561
00:23:46,977 --> 00:23:49,737
inside this episode of the

562
00:23:49,737 --> 00:23:51,697
Movement, Mind and Meaning podcast on a

563
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:54,257
taking a grief leave. And if you want to

564
00:23:54,257 --> 00:23:56,057
watch the video and see what I did, you

565
00:23:56,057 --> 00:23:58,857
can go over and watch it on YouTube. So I

566
00:23:58,857 --> 00:24:00,577
would love to share this tool with you

567
00:24:00,577 --> 00:24:02,897
because it's been so impactful for me and

568
00:24:02,897 --> 00:24:05,777
power pauses are really an incredible

569
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:08,737
way to tend to your body, to shift your

570
00:24:08,737 --> 00:24:10,897
inner state. So there is a free resource

571
00:24:10,897 --> 00:24:13,457
in the description below on the Power

572
00:24:13,457 --> 00:24:15,777
pause pocket guide that you can grab. So

573
00:24:17,298 --> 00:24:20,258
I would love to really just wrap

574
00:24:20,338 --> 00:24:23,138
up this episode on taking a

575
00:24:23,138 --> 00:24:25,778
grief leave of really

576
00:24:25,778 --> 00:24:28,418
honoring. The lessons

577
00:24:28,658 --> 00:24:31,298
that grief

578
00:24:31,378 --> 00:24:33,578
brings, right?It brings a deep

579
00:24:33,578 --> 00:24:35,978
perspective, a recognition, a

580
00:24:35,978 --> 00:24:38,578
love and you know it is an

581
00:24:38,578 --> 00:24:41,458
opportunity for us to to slow

582
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:44,338
down and to practice deep, deep

583
00:24:44,338 --> 00:24:47,138
compassionate self-care and power pausing

584
00:24:47,138 --> 00:24:49,538
and listening to this and doing what

585
00:24:49,538 --> 00:24:51,858
feels good for you to tend to yourself

586
00:24:51,898 --> 00:24:53,618
and and for me over.

587
00:24:54,738 --> 00:24:56,818
This period of taking this grief leave

588
00:24:56,818 --> 00:24:58,818
is, you know, not strict,

589
00:24:59,538 --> 00:25:02,258
but a regimen of

590
00:25:02,658 --> 00:25:05,458
baths and naps and more

591
00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:08,018
yoga and more meditation and a lot more

592
00:25:08,018 --> 00:25:10,338
journaling and a lot more writing has

593
00:25:10,338 --> 00:25:12,098
been really helpful for me,

594
00:25:13,858 --> 00:25:15,938
you know, and and allowing the emotions

595
00:25:15,938 --> 00:25:17,498
to come when they come. But taking these

596
00:25:17,498 --> 00:25:20,098
secret, sacred moments of devotion to the

597
00:25:20,098 --> 00:25:21,938
love that I had for Bailey and I still

598
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:24,418
have and. Really sensing into his

599
00:25:24,418 --> 00:25:27,298
presence. Because The thing is, is that

600
00:25:27,538 --> 00:25:29,578
death is part of this whole life human

601
00:25:29,578 --> 00:25:31,218
experience and this life experience, and

602
00:25:31,218 --> 00:25:34,138
that there's this energetic shift.

603
00:25:34,138 --> 00:25:35,498
Although we can't see them in the

604
00:25:35,498 --> 00:25:38,058
physical form, their spirit is still very

605
00:25:38,058 --> 00:25:40,379
much present with you and within you. And

606
00:25:40,379 --> 00:25:43,019
so it's really allowing yourself to

607
00:25:43,939 --> 00:25:46,739
keep your heart open while

608
00:25:46,899 --> 00:25:49,859
it feels maybe like it's broken,

609
00:25:50,099 --> 00:25:51,059
right?And that might seem

610
00:25:51,059 --> 00:25:53,859
counterintuitive. But what's happening

611
00:25:53,859 --> 00:25:55,899
here is that when we allow ourselves to

612
00:25:55,899 --> 00:25:58,179
deeply feel these emotions in a safe way,

613
00:25:58,179 --> 00:26:00,259
whatever you have the capacity for,

614
00:26:00,979 --> 00:26:03,459
is it allows that, you know, that

615
00:26:03,539 --> 00:26:05,939
crack and that void and that brokenness

616
00:26:05,939 --> 00:26:07,539
that we might feel like when we feel

617
00:26:07,539 --> 00:26:10,179
heartbreak, it allows us to

618
00:26:10,579 --> 00:26:13,299
widen and increase our capacity to feel.

619
00:26:14,659 --> 00:26:17,099
And in that space that has been

620
00:26:17,099 --> 00:26:19,979
created, you get to decide what you're

621
00:26:19,979 --> 00:26:21,779
gonna fill it with. Are you going to fill

622
00:26:21,779 --> 00:26:23,619
it with spaciousness and compassion and

623
00:26:23,619 --> 00:26:24,819
love and care

624
00:26:26,499 --> 00:26:28,859
and allow that deep love and

625
00:26:28,859 --> 00:26:30,819
appreciation that you had for this being

626
00:26:30,819 --> 00:26:33,459
or person or whatever you might have

627
00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:36,219
lost to be able to

628
00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:39,619
shift who you are at a deep level?Because

629
00:26:39,619 --> 00:26:41,299
that relationship has changed you and

630
00:26:41,299 --> 00:26:42,899
your experience of this part of the

631
00:26:42,899 --> 00:26:45,459
relationship will transform you as well

632
00:26:45,459 --> 00:26:47,099
if you allow it to become a sacred

633
00:26:47,099 --> 00:26:49,139
practice. And really that's what this is

634
00:26:49,139 --> 00:26:51,779
doing is. Is it's giving this a

635
00:26:51,779 --> 00:26:53,979
sacred respect and a reverence and that's

636
00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:56,099
ultimately what a bereavement leave is or

637
00:26:56,099 --> 00:26:58,259
any sort of grieving practice is it's a

638
00:26:58,259 --> 00:27:00,259
reverence and an appreciation and a love.

639
00:27:00,899 --> 00:27:03,540
So I am

640
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:05,860
sending you my love, my heart's

641
00:27:05,860 --> 00:27:07,940
compassion if you are experiencing

642
00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:10,580
similar emotions right now and really

643
00:27:10,580 --> 00:27:13,460
just honoring you and know that it's

644
00:27:13,460 --> 00:27:15,940
OK. To feel the way you feel and it's

645
00:27:15,940 --> 00:27:18,220
important to love and support and hold

646
00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:20,340
yourself in these moments because

647
00:27:22,260 --> 00:27:24,980
it's part of life, right?And it's not our

648
00:27:24,980 --> 00:27:27,660
favorite part of life sometimes or

649
00:27:27,660 --> 00:27:29,700
anytime probably, but

650
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:32,980
it's something that we deal with and it

651
00:27:33,060 --> 00:27:35,380
just like anything can become a practice

652
00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:38,500
and it's it's the way that we.

653
00:27:39,340 --> 00:27:41,780
We feel it and we go through it. That

654
00:27:41,780 --> 00:27:43,780
shapes our experience of it and it shapes

655
00:27:43,780 --> 00:27:46,100
who we become on the other side of the

656
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:48,900
experience. And we have a tendency to

657
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:51,700
bypass these, you know, oh, be

658
00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:54,620
strong, just get through it. How

659
00:27:54,620 --> 00:27:56,580
does that feel?To me, that feels like a

660
00:27:56,580 --> 00:27:58,420
hard no, because I just can't. I don't

661
00:27:58,420 --> 00:28:00,140
want to. I don't want to. It doesn't feel

662
00:28:00,140 --> 00:28:02,020
like it's honoring the feelings that I

663
00:28:02,020 --> 00:28:04,580
felt. So allow yourself to feel this and

664
00:28:04,580 --> 00:28:06,260
give yourself the time and the space and

665
00:28:06,260 --> 00:28:08,420
the grace and. And navigate it gently.

666
00:28:08,700 --> 00:28:11,060
And so that's everything that I have for

667
00:28:11,060 --> 00:28:12,940
you today. I would offer to

668
00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:15,780
invite you to check out the Power Pause

669
00:28:15,780 --> 00:28:17,380
Pocket guide, which is linked up in the

670
00:28:17,380 --> 00:28:19,900
description below as a tool, right?As a

671
00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:22,060
tool to help you to navigate through

672
00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:24,420
these moments and to give yourself what

673
00:28:24,420 --> 00:28:26,581
you need. And both in the moment of

674
00:28:26,581 --> 00:28:28,501
grief, but also in other moments of life,

675
00:28:28,501 --> 00:28:29,861
maybe when you're feeling stress or

676
00:28:29,861 --> 00:28:32,421
anxiety or worry or sadness, the tools

677
00:28:32,421 --> 00:28:34,661
are very versatile and so can be used in

678
00:28:34,661 --> 00:28:36,821
a variety of different ways and settings.

679
00:28:37,221 --> 00:28:40,141
So that is what I have for you

680
00:28:40,261 --> 00:28:42,381
this week. Sending you so much love and

681
00:28:42,381 --> 00:28:45,301
Aloha and I will hear

682
00:28:45,341 --> 00:28:47,861
and see you next week. And until then,

683
00:28:47,941 --> 00:28:49,741
take good care of yourself from my tender

684
00:28:49,741 --> 00:28:51,541
heart to yours. Sending you so much love.

685
00:28:51,861 --> 00:28:54,741
Bye bye. Thank you so much

686
00:28:54,741 --> 00:28:56,741
for listening. I hope you really enjoyed

687
00:28:56,741 --> 00:28:59,061
this episode and got a lot out of it.

688
00:28:59,541 --> 00:29:02,181
Please let me know what landed for you by

689
00:29:02,181 --> 00:29:03,861
taking a screenshot and sharing your

690
00:29:03,861 --> 00:29:06,501
takeaways on your Instagram Stories. Make

691
00:29:06,501 --> 00:29:07,301
sure to tag me

692
00:29:08,101 --> 00:29:10,981
@IamMeganNolan for a shout out and future

693
00:29:11,021 --> 00:29:13,381
episodes. And don't

694
00:29:13,381 --> 00:29:15,661
forget to grab all the goodies that we

695
00:29:15,661 --> 00:29:17,621
mentioned during the episode because

696
00:29:17,621 --> 00:29:19,981
you're gonna love them. So all the links

697
00:29:19,981 --> 00:29:22,581
are in the show notes. So until

698
00:29:22,581 --> 00:29:25,461
next time, cheers to you living on

699
00:29:25,461 --> 00:29:26,581
purpose every day.